-- literallyDevious [LD] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] -- 

LD: daav howdo i like
LD: wazh racocn blood off
LD: racocn
LD: racoeon
LD: trazh panta
LD: how the fuck dowe even hav trazh pandqz here i liv inthe land down udner
TG: what
TG: straight into this shit no hello i guess TG: are you like tired again
TG: are you gonna start asking me if i wanna go make out at the samdave buffet or something
LD: what
LD: iz that a dize az
LD: dizeaze
TG: no its like a thing you made up
LD: wgat
LD: ididnt do Zhit
LD: :/
TG: if my memorys right which it is because i just saw the memory meter and its getting a huge boner right now
TG: you were all like "hey sexy hotness strider your haharr is looking gorgeous today lets go have babies"
TG: and i was all like "bro what haha"
LD: i waz what
LD: for all i knw ive been pazzed outin a clozet what kindazhit youbeenon
TG: does passing out include asking me to rate your flirting skills
LD: thaz crayyzyyyy
LD: I zmell markerz
LD: Oh fuckOHFUCK
TG: again?
TG: are you good
TG: did the imaginary trash pandas come get your ass
LD: theye takig my cat
LD: well they wre
TG: they what
TG: she ok?
TG: you too
TG: the hell goes on in your mind to imagine that shit
LD: high enuff t haluconate racon jezuz comign to taek me away
LD: alzo theyre REAL dave there waz zo many and there ztill iz
LD: and yez if they hurt my ct at all they will all sie nobody tpuchez mycat
TG: oh yeah man you go get em ill make a foam hand out of raccoon fur and cheer for you on the sidelines
TG: but seriously what is going on one second youre texting me all hey handsome now youre like dude these raccoons are fucking my shit and also im in the closet
LD: im notgay
TG: denial is a river in russia
LD: i dont think thatz itbut Ok
TG: sure it is
LD: ok
LD: i thinki waz high tho
LD: which INZANELY worriez me becauze if I waz flirthgn with you while high theee iz gona be zome zhitkll have toexplain to you
TG: well get to it i guess
TG: also since when do you do drugs
LD: I dont
LD: remembermy ziz
TG: you just said you got high
TG: and yeah i do
LD: you donrealize ejat zhe did
TG: i dong actually because nobody has informed me on what she has done go figure
LD: I do t fuckin know eht theyw there zhe goyme baxk jnto doingma4kerz
TG: she got you back into doing makers
TG: oh markers
TG: oh they make you weird and shit right
TG: googoo headed and shit
TG: oh thats why
TG: ok
LD: heheee XDD
TG: xd your ass away while raccoons try to rock your balls i guess
LD: idnt have ballz
TG: oh damn
TG: just believe in them then
TG: believe in the balls bro
LD: im not belivinbg in no fuckign ballz dude
TG: russia is waiting
LD: ITZ NOT RUZZIA DAVE
TG: anyway
TG: did you need help or something
TG: im still kinda convinced youre hallucinating shit but imaginary raccoons arent gonna be the cause of your death
TG: it has to be something badass
LD: I kinda jave it zorted
LD: got myzelf zome nailz n a planj
LD: wait let me read up what waz u even zayinf before
TG: ok ill let you do that
TG: time to catch up on sams flirting bullshit
TG: next episode sam gets nailed by a bunch of mind pandas because a plank and nails isnt gonna do shit
LD: oh awezome wow yeop ther i go off to kill myzelrf
TG: what
LD: I am
LD: zo zorry you hatd to dealiwit tgat
TG: hey no its cool
TG: blast from the past is what you just experienced
TG: we are in the now like this is the right now
TG: dont worry about it
LD: are you zure
LD: i think the logical option would be to freak the fuck out
TG: no its chill
TG: cool as cucumbers or whatever
LD: a cucumber ??
LD: what
TG: the vegetable
TG: the one from earth
TG: cool as cucumbers its like a saying
TG: why are there so many damn sayings with fruits and vegetables in them
TG: "just peachy", "two peas in a pod", yknow all that shit
TG: how hungry was the dude making this shit
LD: dunno
LD: howz it going for you
LD: I think looking back I kinda remember booting up a game
LD: I muzt have gotten bored or zomething that lead me to huffing becauze I do NOT remember the rezt
TG: im good
TG: what game are you playing
LD: zomething called zburb idk
LD: mattie talked me thru bootin it up that'z all I know
TG: whos mattie
TG: oh wait nevermind thats the gay one who talks in piss
LD: wGat
TG: yeah sburb ive heard of it
LD: no dave what fucking gay girl who talkz in pizz are you talking about becauze we are notthinkin of the same perzon
TG: the one who types in fives and sevens
LD: ouuuhhhh ok
TG: but yeah jade got it for john for his birthday but he hasnt gotten the package yet
TG: i think hes doing that right now actually
LD: yeh
LD: wyd
TG: talking to you
TG: boom
LD: yeah not much
LD: iznt it like
LD: 10pm for you or zomething
LD: DUUUUDE wait you zhould totally think about gettin into zburb
TG: i mean once john gets his i was gonna do that
TG: my bro has like two copies or something i can get one of those
LD: why doez he have 2
LD: greedy baztard
TG: haha
TG: im not gonna get the game myself ill just do that
TG: water of money if i already have one in access to me
LD: water of money ??
TG: no shit i meant
LD: HELP HELP HELP HE LP HE ;LP HEL; PH
LD: help me iam Drown
LD: Ing
TG: i meant waste fuck
TG: fuck you
TG: oh wait shit
TG: monopoly money tsunami over here fuck watch out man
LD: glup glup hep me glub ztriter
TG: what
TG: here im getting my fishing rod its ok bro you got this
TG: ok i just cast it out
TG: ok grab on you gotta do it bro
LD: help me
LD: I cant grab on much longer...
TG: no bro no
TG: you got this
TG: im reeling you in
TG: ok i got you
TG: wow i just caught the rare bamson fish i have fulfilled the one purpose in my life
TG: and now i must die
LD: WHAT THE FUCK NO
LD: how do I zave you!!
TG: you cant
TG: its too late
TG: im slipping away
TG: oh no
TG: im dead
LD: deadazz???
TG: dave cant come to the phone right now hes kind of majorly dead
LD: but he juzt did
TG: no he didnt
TG: shoosh
LD: ok my bad
LD: ok Im gonna ztart crying
TG: bury me in the sand
TG: its where i belong
TG: my destiny
LD: but youjr a fiz h
LD: that not wher Fiuzh go????
TG: sam you have to
TG: it was my one wish before i died its in my diary
TG: you can read it once youve reached level 20
LD: what level am i
TG: uh 15
TG: you have to fight the tsunami to level up
TG: when you beat the beach map you get the forest map and you can keep levelling up there
LD: if i bury you do I get level 20
TG: no but you get ten coins
LD: the fuck do I do with 10 coinz
TG: you can upgrade your sword to fight the tsunami monster easier
LD: what the hell are we doing
LD: werent we talking about zburb
TG: oh yeah
TG: how far are you into the game already?
LD: idk
LD: but I made a weapon
LD: ill draw it for you hold on
LD: kickazzplankimade.jpeg
TG: is that a wood penis
TG: looks like a fucked up dildo for extreme masochists
LD: itz a plank with 13 nailz on it
LD: idk what to call it
TG: enhanced dildo for weirdos
LD: no thankz <3
LD: "hey meet my weapon herez enhanced dildo for weirdos"
LD: alzo im not gonna go around zaying "im attacking you with my dildo"
TG: why not thats amazing
TG: hey raccoon bitches watch out here comes my ENHANCED dildo
LD: ill get put on a lizt
TG: the cool guy list
LD: the what
TG: the cool guy list
TG: my name is at the top
LD: zo clozw! i tihnk ill be watched by the FBI <3
TG: youll get used to it
LD: err
LD: ok
LD: well ill go try to figure out what Im zuppozed to do
LD: ill update az I go if u want
TG: sure
TG: dont get murdered
TG: if youre ABOUT to be then go to the least dumbest friend you know which i know is difficult in your position
LD: dont even get me ZTARTED.
LD: anyway
LD: ztay zafe and good luck gettin the game from your "bro"
TG: whats with the quotation marks
TG: is this another roleplay
LD: you call him your bro I call him your brother
TG: thats the same thing but one is cooler
LD: are you zure he iznt gonna hurt you or zomething ?
TG: dude ill totally get my ass kicked but ive got it
LD: "oh itz okay ill juzt be beaten to death wit a jar of cranberiez B]"
LD: I dont wanna zound like a dick but I don't like him :/
TG: werent you supposed to be hitting raccoons with your dildo
LD: ack youre right
LD: he iz your brother after all zo
LD: ill juzt leave you to it
LD: im juzt really probably worried
LD: maybe
LD: could be
TG: the raccoons are trying to claw their way into your closet
LD: WHERE
TG: theyre calling for your enhanced dildo
LD: itz not a DILDO.
TG: whatever you say
LD: anywayz gonna go commit raccoonzlaughter
LD: yeh
TG: good luck
TG: save me a tail or something
TG: peace 

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering literallyDevious [LD] --