Mercy, Unity, and Happiness

We can increase our contentment by showing mercy towards others. I am generally an optimist and try to see the best in others, but it hasn’t always been that way. I remember an interview I conducted early on while serving as a bishop. I don’t remember who I was interviewing and I don’t remember the situation, but I found myself thinking, “Wow, what could he/she be thinking? Of course anyone should expect a bad outcome from making such poor choices.” Almost immediately, though, another impression or feeling washed over me, one that was not my natural inclination, rooted in logic, but rather an overwhelming compassion and love for this brother/sister in this current circumstance.

That experience made me realize how naturally judgmental I was, seeing others through my own lens of imperfection, or self-righteousness, in contrast to the way the Savior sees us. I have had many similar experiences, especially in ecclesiastical settings, where a more immediate merciful and compassionate feeling has come more easily. As a result, I used to tell Lauri that I liked myself better on Sunday, and that I wished I could be that same way at work and in all my interactions with others. To see them as Christ does, favoring compassion and extending the benefit of doubt instead of being critical. I have a long way to go and am continuously trying to do better and be better, but to the degree that I am able to succeed at this, I definitely feel happier and feel more peace and contentment in my life.

The Savior teaches, “Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.” We all want to be dealt with mercifully. This scripture is clear about how we make it happen. The entry on “mercy” in Gospel Topics provides additional insight and ideas: “Be ye … merciful, as your Father also is merciful” (Luke 6:36). We can follow our Heavenly Father’s example of mercy in our relationships with others. We can strive to rid our life of arrogance, pride, and conceit. We can seek ways to be compassionate, respectful, forgiving, gentle, and patient, even when we are aware of others’ shortcomings. We should check ourselves against the arrogance and conceit that keep us from admitting we are wrong, or at least not completely certain, or that there is truth in what others say and do. We should seek to recognize the damaging pride within ourselves that prevents us from admitting to uncertainties, weaknesses, and missteps of which we are at least partially aware. Doing so will allow us to feel the spirit that helps us to avoid frustration and discouragement with our own imperfections and to see ourselves and others as Christ does, with greater compassion, gentleness, and forgiveness.

In this moment of time across the world, in our country, community (and even in our stake and wards) all of the ingredients exist that push us to a more emotional and judgmental response to differing opinions and conflict. However, this may be the best opportunity we have to increase our ability to choose mercy over being judgmental. The best time to improve and make progress is when facing direct opposition. In this environment then, we have a great opportunity to evaluate our own willingness to choose mercy, even as our Father in Heaven, and then to practice showing mercy to others..

In a recent BYU devotional Elder Uchtdorf taught, “Conflict is inevitable, but contention is a choice.” I am grateful that most members in our stake have not chosen contention, even though all the elements of conflict and the disunity that results are present. But if we want to truly have our hearts “knit together in unity and love one towards another,” as Alma instructed at the Waters of Mormon (Mosiah 18:21), then not only should we not choose contention, but we should also replace that choice with an abundance of mercy. This will bring the peace and contentment we all seek, and the type of community in which our hearts are knit together in love.

Elder Renlund in his October 2020 conference address reminded us that we can know “that the course of life [that we are] pursuing is according to God’s will” when we do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with our God. . . When you do these things . . .your souls will be infused with the glory of God and with the light of everlasting life.”

Throughout the pandemic I have witnessed many who have done justly, loved mercy, and walked humbly. I believe these individuals have learned and felt the happiness and peace that come from choosing mercy over judgment. Let’s not tire and give up the precious ground we have gained.

When we look around at others, let’s assume the very best. Recognize that you have not walked the path they have, nor have they walked yours. Therefore, not surprisingly, you will see (judge) differently and sometimes make different choices. Being merciful requires us to assume the very best, have compassion, and recognize that while others’ decisions might be different and take them down a different path than yours, it may just be the best path for them. Even if it is not, certainly our Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ will have mercy upon our brother or sister. So should we.

Love, President Nelson