Hilarie DeCesare

Why am I so passionate about women's rights? As far back as I can remember, I have always wholly understood that women do not stand on equal footing with men. From birth until the age of 17, I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness: a controlling, patriarchal religion that clouded my frame of reference for what was considered ethical, just, and "normal." For example, the Jehovah’s Witnesses dictated who my friends were. They told me it was immoral and sinful to celebrate holidays, including my own birthday. I was not allowed to participate in school activities, not even the school band in elementary school. The Jehovah's Witnesses shamed me for recognizing the opposite sex during adolescence, as they felt those feelings were only appropriate for people who were ready to consider marriage. Higher education was discouraged. And most notably, there were no leadership roles whatsoever available to women in the church, and submission to men was demanded and enforced. I remember thinking to myself, "This is bullshit!" But I had no voice. I learned early on that to question anything only led to further shame and punishment. I had to make the best of whatever freedoms, celebrations, and opportunities were deemed appropriate. I had to pretend. I wanted to scream.

The moment I realized just how little power I had as a female came at the age of 15. A 21-year-old man in the church named Jay took an interest in me, and we began sneaking around to see each other. Of course, I now understand how inappropriate and abusive his behavior was. But as a 15-year-old girl, I was flattered and swept off my feet. And being in that restrictive religion for so long had made me wildly rebellious. We kept our relationship private, for obvious reasons. My parents eventually found out and demanded a meeting with the Elders, a group of appointed men (mostly old and White) who govern the congregation. Jay denied any involvement with me. My family produced evidence of our relationship, such as times I ditched school and snuck out to see Jay, letters Jay wrote to me, and even gifts he bought me. Even so, the Elders dismissed our case, characterizing it as “the fantasies of a young girl.” My parents did not involve law enforcement as Jehovah’s Witnesses claim a legal right to handle all matters separate from the police. I was devastated, humiliated, infuriated, and powerless. But worst of all, I was abandoned by everyone who was supposed to protect me.

Recovering from religious abuse is a slow and lengthy process. I spent the majority of my 20s and early 30s trying to figure out who I was, attending therapy, and searching for my true self and purpose. I had always held an intense interest for the rights of women, mostly due to my early experience. I enrolled in a course entitled International Women’s Health and Human Rights. I was awakened to the many perils that befall women not only here in the United States, but in other parts of the world: little or no access to education, poverty, genital mutilation, early marriage and childbearing, HIV/AIDS, lack of reproductive healthcare, gender violence, trafficking, honor killing and dowry death – the list goes on. I was inspired to start taking action towards making a difference.

Pursuing a degree in Psychology seemed the next step on my path. I received my BS in Psychology from ASU in May of 2010. I discovered that I am a humanitarian at heart who can empathize with ease. I feel the most fulfilled when I am giving and working to improve the lives of others. My goal at the time was to become a counselor. But, graduate school would have to wait a few years as I was a single mother with two young children. In the meantime, I volunteered at several local organizations such as Phoenix Children's Hospital, Child Crisis Center, and was even president of my kids' PTO.

The 2016 election was a pivotal moment for a lot of women. Watching the new administration enact policies and changes that were disadvantaging so many was impossible to stomach. And once the pandemic hit, I decided the time to act was right then and there. In March of 2020, I joined the Community Outreach/Engagement Committee with the Metropolitan Phoenix YWCA. Taking physical action was limited due to COVID, and luckily I was able to bring my expertise in social media to the table in order to help spread YWCA’s message and mission of “Eliminating Racism, Empowering Women.” In October 2020, I branched out and also became Co-Chair of the Political Action/Community Engagement committee with the Human Rights Campaign in Phoenix. Most notably, we set up a drive for MLK Day of Service benefitting local non-profit organization One-N-Ten, whose mission is to support local LGBTQ youth. Around that same time, I also joined Supermajority as Facebook Chapter Leader for the state of Utah. Supermajority promotes women’s activism in order to build and empower our leaders, as well as form a better future for all women.

Receiving a Master of Arts in Social Justice and Human Rights from Arizona State University was without a doubt the next milestone in my journey of advocating for women. Throughout my program, I have continued to campaign for local political candidates who support the empowerment of women with the Maricopa County Democratic Party, Mission for Arizona, Planned Parenthood, Supermajority, and Progressive Turnout Project. My goal post-graduation is to secure a position working to advance the rights of women and to one day run my own non-profit, hopefully with my sister, who has been my rock throughout this process. Thank you for reading.