I know elderly women

Who wear their gray hair like silver crowns

Their days of youth are over,

Their days of life waning

But they never let that stop them from loving.

They teach students in classrooms,

Gifting their years of wisdom to young minds.

They are no longer young and pretty and full of energy,

But they are venerable queens,

Beautiful, radiant, with smiles that light up a room

And they are loved by all who know them.

Do you know what Beauty is?

I know two little girls

Adopted from China by a loving family

They each have different forms of cerebral palsy

They struggle to adjust, to be brave,

But they are brilliant and loving, incredibly sweet,

And they have radiant smiles for all they meet.

Do you know what Beauty is?

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I know a girl

Young and radiant, but insecure about her appearance,

Her hair

Her face

Her weight

But her smile is brilliant, her heart is true, and she is fiercely loyal to her friends.

Her eyes light up when she laughs, and it is dazzling.

Do you know what Beauty is?

I know a young woman

Small in stature

Plain in looks

But strong in heart

Though she is small, she is mighty

Her smile is dazzling, her voice divine

She is a hard worker and a solid friend

If you fall she will pick you right back up again.

Do you know what Beauty is?

I know a woman

Mother of seven

She often gets exasperated with her children, husband, friends, and for good reasons, usually

But she is always willing to serve

To find someone a place to stay

To cook them a meal

To comfort the grieving, laugh with the joyful.

She gives love to all, and sometimes feels

Overwhelmed

Underaccepted

But she is loved by all, and she keeps her household running and her children safe.

She is my mother, and she is a queen among women.

Do you know what Beauty is?

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My girl you a champion bubblier

You bubble for a cause

Bubble for a cause gyal

Bubble for a cause

When you a bubble paw you mi eye pause

Gyal a you meck mi know seh Duns River Falls

Gyal you lips dem minty like Als

Mi bring you gift like Santa-clause

Gyal you waist line or go throw menopause

My song a play a nuh luras

If you man naw tell you the things dem bab

Then me deh yah fi you

Right now you have my attention my girl

If a nuh music then a you

Gyal come whine up you body and whisper in a mi ears

Later weh you waan fi do?

Later rawn mi need you fi come assist me

Help me sweat out mi flue

We asked GEL students and GEL alumni to share a belief in the form of an essay. The GEL program has long been one that helps students take stock of themselves and find their way through social and moral landscapes. Instructors in this program often assign This I Believe essays, sometimes as entry points into these landscapes and sometimes as souvenirs. Out of many, seven This I Believe essays stood out to a reading committee made up of students, faculty, and staff.

Day after day, I would look at myself in the mirror, tearing myself down. I would tell myself every night that I was never enough. I believed that I was a weak and worthless individual, a waste of time. This kind of hateful thinking made it a struggle to stay afloat. Before I knew it, I was weighed down by anxiety and an eating disorder. Each morning I would wake up to only to prepare to endeavor the difficulties of my illnesses.

I believe that I am enough. I am good enough for society. I am good enough to be myself without the burden of negative thoughts and unrealistic expectations. I am good enough to get the help that I need from others. I am good enough to live a happy life.

I believe in healing. I believe in the enduring process of healing. September of 2017 I had an experience that has made the last year very difficult for my family and I. I long to heal and at times I feel like those steps towards healing are possible because I believe in hope, and that hope is part of healing. The idea that if I am not okay or not happy in this moment but have the capacity to become happy and become okay in the future is a motivating force for healing. I am in a place where I welcome the hurt and the pain because I understand that it is part of the healing process. I also welcome laughter and new opportunities because I believe allowing myself to be paralyzed in unhappiness will paralyze my healing.

I have been visiting Mexico almost every other weekend, I see a lot of poverty, mothers are seated on the ground in the hottest and coldest of temperatures, with their babies and toddlers on their laps, trying to sell gum for any spare change. I had never been exposed to that level of poverty, and yet the babies and the toddlers were playing, laughing using rocks or a single action figure they had to share to create a fantasy, a game. That is when I realized that they were healing. Kids heal because they believe that good outweighs evil. They so willingly hope and neglect the possibility of failure. As adults, that diminishes. Experience takes it away, trauma takes it away, insecurity takes it away. Healing is taking it back. Taking back hope, taking back the unwavering belief that things will not always be bad. That there is always room for growth, always room for healing. To understand why things happen and appreciate the things that cannot be understood. There is strength in that, strength I hope one day to possess. I believe in change, I believe in growth, I believe in healing.

I slowly began to see that my mindset played a huge role in determining how much work I could get done and where I would be in two years. I told myself to have a positive mindset and be patient, since I had seen the direct results of how well that played out in my life. Even today, I am faced with both internal and external struggles that would have normally held me back and prevented me from following my dreams, but a small voice of motivation in my head tells me to keep pushing through. As a 19-year-old female, I am proud to say that I have reached many milestones in my life that were on my to-do list, and it makes my passion for becoming a doctor intensify even higher, all thanks to diligence and patience.

When I was six years old, my father, an undocumented immigrant was deported. I never knew that that was the reason why he moved to Mexico. I always thought that he just grabbed his stuff and left. Three years later, my mother was also deported. I remember when the ICE came into our room at 6 am in the morning. We were sleeping, then all of a sudden one of the ICE agents gets my sister and I dressed up and sends us to my aunt's house. I didn't understand anything that was going on. I mean I was nine, and my family would never speak the subject to me until a year later.

Every night I would pray to God to make sure my Mom was healthy. It was my faith in God that made me strong these past years. My mom would send me letters but she would never call because she was in a detention center. In those letters, there were prayers inside. Prayers of us seeing each other soon, and for us to be safe and healthy. I had all my faith in God, I would pray that I could see my mom. Having hoped to see mom again gave me strength. I tried my best in school and I always stayed focused. I wanted there to be a purpose for me being a first generation in the United States of America. I never let any opportunity go by.

I believe that faith and hope are a beautiful thing. When someone tells you, "I hope you do good." or "I hope everything will be ok for you." , that in my opinion, is the best feeling. I feel cared for and motivated because of it. It is true what they say, "it's the little things in life". Having hope makes me motivated in achieving success. In the Bible, the verse Corinthians 13:13, states: "And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love". I had faith in God, which gave me hope. Faith and hope motivated me to succeed in my education. Without it, I wouldn't be where I am today, at California State University, San Marcos. I am here to receive an education and to graduate with a Bachelor's Degree in order for me to have a stable job that I will love doing. But without my mother's love, I wouldn't be who I am today, a first-generation college student. I believe in faith, hope, and love. I believe that by giving or receiving these three things, it can make a better you.

I believe in loving myself. As a millennial, I am part of the majority of people who use social media. I was convinced that it was necessary to have platforms like Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat. I thought nothing harmful could come from an app, but I was wrong. From scrolling through pictures of girls who were living lavish lives that I would never have to compare my body to models photos that were most likely photoshopped, I was destroying my confidence slowly.

My obsession achieving a dream influence actions outside my comfort zone. I accept that infatuation gets the most of me. The short-term desires reveal uncharacteristic actions. It is a bittersweet process, but I am thankful for it. While most outcomes result in heartbreak, it also reveals new characteristics of me. I take advantage of it, so when the next desire come, achievement might actually be a possibility. 152ee80cbc

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