Later that night, under the cover of nightfall and the distraction of changing guards, two distinctly un-burly figures slipped unnoticed down into the door leading to the lower bowels of the castle.
"Are you sure this is the right way?" one voice whispered to the other, grabbing their upper arm.
"Yes - shh, I'm trying to listen."
Both figures stilled and quieted, straining to hear through the footsteps, shuffles, and grunts, of men receiving instructions, packing, planning, and last-minute male tomfoolery. Not to mention the horses.
"This way."
The determined figure led them both through the door where they could perch and adjust to the torchlight, scoping things out. One figure pointed toward the guard next to a levered door. "That's it," came the whisper, "that's the vault."
"How do we get past the guard?"
Both figures stared at one another for a minute. Then two.
"Ohhh no! I - we - but - !" There was more staring. One huffed. "Fine."
Both figures straightened up and, with a slight shove from one to the other, moved out from the shadows and toward the guard at the door amidst flickering torchlight.
"Good evening!"
The guard barely moved his head in the two figures' direction, though they certainly had his attention when he realized two unexpected guests now stood in the bowels of the castle.
"Are you two lost?" he drawled, careful to check his tone.
The first shook their head, smiling though determined. "No, not at all. We need you to open the door, please." They looked to their companion. "We have been sent by the Lady Redwyne to fetch something for the Dowager." The second nodded along.
"I'm afraid that's impossible. Her Ladyship could have nothing of concern here. Besides, I don't take orders from lacy little birdies." Perhaps there was nothing behind this door but wagon parts and cow dung; he had to at least pretend.
"Listen here," said the second one, gesturing toward the sounds of activity as the guard changed. "In case you hadn't noticed, there's quite a lot going on. I'm sure you heard the concerns surrounding the Dowager - and do you really want to be the village idiot that denies the old woman the one thing she's asking for?"
The guard was quiet for a moment, considering. He looked between the two of them as if sizing them up. Finally, the guard heaved a sigh and reached for a key ring to unlock and open the door. Pushing open the heavy, secure door, he made an exaggerated gesture for them to enter. The figures filed into the room.
"Is that gold?" asked the second one, breathless.
"Uh huh," replied the determined one, grinning. "Over here," they added, heading toward the stack.
"If you tell me what you need I can retrieve it for you," the guard interjected.
The determined one fluttered her eyelashes at him. "It's a delicate matter," she said, her voice warm honey, "you know how Ladies get about certain ... items."
The guard nearly choked, forcing his mind away from creepy-crawly feminine things and caught the other looking at him oddly.
"You don't remember me, do you?" she asked, suddenly shy.
"Should I, my Lady?" the guard replied.
"Don't you? From the wedding?" She took a few steps toward the center of the room, watching him expectantly for a reply. Seeming almost hopeful. "I guess not. There were a lot of people there, I just thought that ... "
"Thought what?" he asked, intrigued. He hadn't even realized he'd taken a step closer.
"I thought that ... even though we didn't get to spend much time together, that it was still meaningful. That you would want to see me again," she said.
The guard paused. "I didn't know you were a Lady then. You were dressed so differently." She blinked, looking thrown off-stride. "There is no way your family would let you - "
KA-THUNK!
She watched as the guard's face froze and he tottered heavily to the ground like a felled oak. The determined one was revealed holding a bar of gold which they had used to knock him out from behind.
"Holy Mother - nice shot!" The second one stared at the guard, knocked out cold in the middle of the Redwyne vault. "I didn't know we'd be doing this!"
"I didn't know you made googly eyes at a Redwyne guard at the wedding!"
"I didn't! I was making it up!" The second one laughed, "Some poor woman is going to be very confused the next time he sees her!" She stuffed her hands over her mouth to stifle the sound. "Where is it?"
"This way." The determined one led her companion to one of the chests, attempting to lift the lid to reveal the nestled treasure inside. It didn't budge. "Balderdash!"
The second one shuffled through the guard's keyring, trying to find one to fit the lock on the chest with failure after failure.
"Stand back!" The determined one picked up the bar of gold she'd used on the guard and used both hands around the bar to bash the lock off the chest, placing both pieces inside once she opened it.
"It's really real," The second one breathed, taking in the sight. "How do we get it out of here now?"
The two looked at one another. Suddenly, one said, "I'm pregnant."
The other looked confused. "I know, you told me. Congratulations, though - oh!"
Both figures quickly worked the egg under the first's dress til it could be appropriately cradled like a baby bump. The gold bar was replaced and the chest closed over. Not wasting any time, both of them hurried from the vault, closing the door behind them. They slipped again unnoticed through the bustle of distracted activity of a sleepy castle's changing guard long after nightfall.
Several hours later, the Redwyne castle dark and quiet, the large rat pattered silently along the stone wall deep inside the castle. Pausing to sniff the air and stare with beady eyes, the fallen guard was carefully inspected before being ignored. Crawling up and over the guards chest, its tail trailing along the guard’s gaping mouth, the rat sniffed at the strange smells along the bottom of the door leading into the vaulted storage room before running off down the dark hallway, leaving the fallen guard where he lay.