Name - Nathan 'Gravitas' Higgins

Date of Birth - 4/22/1992 - 33 years old

Place of Birth - Edmonton, AB, Canada

Employment Location - Foundation Site 66, Alaska, USA

Branch - Internal Affairs

Rank - Supervisor

Clearance Level - 5/IA

Age - 33

Height - 6'3"(192cm)

Weight - 210lbs (95kg)

Hair - Brown, Medium length

Eyes - Cybernetic

Other features, as reported by Site 66 Medical personnel during last scheduled physical evaluation -

 "Nathan currently has a 'patchworks' left leg, as well as a 'patchworks' right hand. He has the Chaos Insurgency 'Revenant' squadron logo branded onto his back. Numerous scars could be found, one large facial scar from the right eyebrow, to the bridge of his nose. His left arm has some leftover anomalous effects, including a dried out, 'cracked' appearance, and a purple smoke-like texture can be seen underneath. Both knees seem to have been recently injured, but have since been healed."

-Notes are taken from a number of Nathan's most recent mandatory psychological evaluation session, led by Dr. [NAME REDACTED]

08/12/24 "Nathan has gone through a period of drastic change during his time at Site 66, which could be said to be true for most of us here, but it is quite evident when it comes to this particular case."

11/30/24 "He has always been a leader at heart, though at times it seems like he either attempts to push off responsibility, or doesn't seem as eager to take up the challenge as someone his junior may be. I suspect this could be due to previous trauma being a sort of blocker, creating an unwillingness to truly step up and take charge, as he seems to be more comfortable now in a supporting role, though it seems that he is either looking to change that, or address the deeper issues causing these hesitations."

12/15/24 "Nathan seems to suspect himself that he has momentary sudden swings in his mood, noting that he has been prone to lash out at those around him, then go back to being more welcoming and friendly to those around him. He noted that while he is on good terms with most of his fellow Site personnel, he only has a very few friends that he considers himself to be close to."

02/19/25 "Something very drastic has taken place in Nathan's life. He appears to be completely emotionally dead, as if his entire personality has been taken away. A personality once vibrant with life, good or bad, seems to have been extinguished. He expresses no concern over the current state of his mental health, only stating to me that his 'time on this planet is but a moment, and the true extent of what I have done will come to light soon enough, for all time'. I have no idea what this could have meant, but I will be keeping track of any further behaviors like this."

03/04/25 "Nathan seems to be back to something that could be considered baseline for him. He once again speaks with life and emotion, but still refused to elaborate on what he spoke about last session. Seemingly renewed with a sense of purpose, he spoke to me of 'redemption' and of trying to 'save his soul'. Which is of note, because his file lists his religious affiliation as Atheist. Regardless, while there has been a noted return of most emotional faculties, there seems to be a distinct lack of genuine meaning to his words, as if he truly does not believe himself when he speaks of things that should invoke an emotional response."

06/24/25 "I've been writing certain... quotes... in a journal here. Nothing is here to make sense, just random thoughts I've related to."

I guess I should be dead, but that's the beauty of selling yourself to sin...

Where was the grace, where was the forgiveness when I was asking for it?

I've dug this hole for myself, but I'll gladly bury you in it instead.

When I felt the cold embrace of the hand that crafted me, I set my soul ablaze, crawled through the nether and left a suicide note next to my own severed head.

Return to the earth, pay the price for your existence... Into the hand of Earth's domain, for there is balance to be maintained.

I learned while suffering, that nothing happens for any reason. There is no plan, we're all just random beings, not destined for anything. The world is nothing, disguised as something it is not.

I'm not your stepping-stone. I'm not your fucking crutch. For as long as you might live, I can hold the iron grudge.

I feed my soul

I force a smile, ignore the hole

Wishing like hell that I was still God

With nothing above me

Read my eyes, weary lines

Taking what's mine

Just soil below and nothing above me

The grip of oppression tightens the noose, 

but when they kick out the chair, 

heads will hang

The heavens will not desecrate their gates with your admittance

Undone, unthread by rot

Soul-woven through the soil, bound in earthen toil

While the dirt hums with my illness

What's the price of a soul?

What's its worth versus gold?

I tried to beg for mine

But it was already sold

I should see a fuckin' shrink, shouldn't I?

My life ruled by fear: that which destroys me from the inside, for my mind is all but whittled to a dull point by this ceaselessly active world that allows no rest as it wages its endless assault upon my woefully frail body. I want so badly to be allowed anger, resentment, and justice, but how could I resent that which happens for no reason at all at the hands of no god? 

... And I know, I'm not going anywhere that's not downstairs.

...And I kn...And I know I'm not going anywhere that's not downstairs.ow I'm not going anywhere that's not downstairs.