#100 - February 26, 2021!

Okay, so today marks the 100th edition of Ridiculous Opinions, and for those of you who have been with me from the beginning, KUDOS TO YOU! In comic books, milestone issues were always a big deal. The 100th issue of any comic was usually double-sized and either told an amazing story or was the culmination of a series of events that we’d been waiting for for a very long time.

Sometimes, they would get nine billion of your favorite artists to draw the comic, so you would get one amazing page of Superman by someone like Brian Bolland or Walter Simonson. As a reader, you would have gone crazy seeing that.

Note: I had all kinds of these issues, having bought them off the shelf of the local “Mister O’s” convenience store during this point in history. Mister O’s was my comic supplier of choice at the time. In Oklahoma, comics came out on Mondays, which was was when the magazine supplier would drop the books off at the convenience stores around town. It was a crapshoot in regard to whether or not the minimum-wage worker at the store would have emptied the boxes and put them on the shelves that day, but usually, they were pretty good about it. It was also a crapshoot in regard to which comics would be delivered on that day. Sometimes, Mr. O’s would have the latest issue of Teen Titans. Sometimes, they would not. You never knew, and if they didn’t have it in one place, it meant that you had to drive across town to a different convenience store in the desperate hope that that particular issue would be there.

My mother, a saintly human being, used to pick me up from school on Mondays. She gave me an allowance of $3 a week…not an insignificant amount at the time for us…to purchase comics on Monday. Comics, at that time, were usually priced around 75¢ at the time, which meant that I could get FOUR comics for three bucks. (The price came to around $3.18, with tax, which my mother generously supplied). There was no way that I could collect every comic that came out that week, so I had to make sure that I chose wisely.

That’s where “anniversary issues” became a problem. Notice that that issue of Superman up there cost $1.50 and that issue of X-Men cost $1.25. That was where my Sophie’s Choice moment would happen. If I bought that issue of Superman, it meant that I had to sacrifice another comic. There was always a lower-tier comic that I could choose not to buy, though that chafed against the collector in me, because it meant that I would have a gap in the series. (“I’d have a complete collection of Power Pack,” I would say, “but I couldn’t buy issue 36 because that was when Fantastic Four #300 came out.”)

Nevertheless, it should be known that anniversary issues were always a let-down. The stories usually sucked. The pin-ups from the various artists were not nearly as cool as one would expect. It was a lot of money for not a lot of material. The covers were always cool, but that was about it. I can’t name a single anniversary issue that was all that good.

Which brings us to this newsletter.

I’ve got nothing for you. The 100th issue of this newsletter is just another issue, except one with a lot of writing about how it’s not going to be anything special. I kept thinking I was going to do something special, but as the week progressed, I realized that this was going to just be another, boring old piece of writing where nothing actually happened. I thought about giving you guys a preview of “The Bean”, but then I was like, “Nah.” As the week progressed and the students came back to school and I got tired, I thought, “Forget it!”

So, if you’re expecting something awesome from this, then you can give up now. There’s nothing special in this issue. I will simply give you an update on projects I’m working on.

The Bean - I’ve entered my movie into four festivals in the hope that it will be selected. The odds of that happening are slim, so I have spent time over the last few weeks figuring out how to sell my film to distributors. I’m learning a lot. My dream of becoming rich and famous for it is fading (seriously, I wasn’t that stupid). I’ve still got a lot of work to do, but I will continue to enter it in various places until my “film festival slush fund” runs out.

Maurice the Beaver - I still produce Maurice regularly and post them on Twitter & Instagram. You should be reading them. More importantly, you should be buying my book, because VERY FEW OF YOU HAVE. Seriously, go spend money on me. If not, then you are a bad person.

Amazon.com

UK

Germany

France

Spain

Japan

Canada

Cindy McCloyd - Yet another sequel in my Boyd McCloyd series. I am at 88,000 words right now and the book is wrapping up. I would venture to say that it’s a hot mess and that I am going to spend a MASSIVE amount of time editing and re-writing. But that’s writing, people. Get used to it.

Oklahoma 1981-1991 - I don’t know how much I’ve mentioned this book here. This is a “serious” adult book that I first completed in 2014 and have since been rewriting. I’ve rewritten it twice now and I’d venture to say that it’s the best thing that I’ve ever done (besides Maurice!). I am currently doing a third rewrite, whereupon I will publish it and no one will buy it because nobody reads anymore.

The Completely Unreliable Guide to Walt Disney World - This is my first in a series of fictional travel guides. I wrote it in 2017, and have been working on illustrations since then, off and on. I’ve been pretty lazy about it, but once I’m done with Cindy, I will start finishing it for good.

And from there…the future is wide open. I’m probably going to make another short film soon. I’ve got a few ideas circulating around my head, so that might happen. But who knows?

So, I hope you enjoyed this 100th issue of Ridiculous Opinions. As always, I enjoy hearing from you, so write me a note every once in a while. I get lonely and my wife and children refuse to talk to me anymore (KIDDING!).



Previous editions of Ridiculous Opinions can be found here!

*All awards refer to Randall P. Girdner’s winning of the Hubert J. Puntzweiger Award for Outstanding Children’s Literature published in the Kangqiao District of Shanghai.**By “world-renowned”, we are referring to the fact that Randall P. Girdner currently teaches overseas.