How To Get Your Ex Back In a Few Simple (yet not obvious) Steps
Wanting the good old times back with your ex
You never know where life is going to take you when you're dating. In fact, this is very much a story I want to tell you based on personal experience after dating a girl who ended up ghosting me without any obvious warnings.
The physiological aspect of being emotional and physically connected to someone for them to suddenly no longer be in your life (because they chose it that way) is one that plays deep in the physique.
Naturally you question how bad a partner you must have been or even wonder if you are a good person in general. I discovered a complete how to get your ex back guide that helped me ask the right questions.
One thing I never considered, is maybe, it is more about the other person than it is about you? I know that ended up being the case with my ex and once I understood the conditions I knew how to get her back... and so could you, if that's what you want.
This Is The Story Of How I Got My Ex Back
It started off like many romances while on vacation.
The connection was far deeper than your usual phyiscal attraction. She was gorgous, blond with blue eyes, but there was a level of connect that I never felt before. It felt that we knew what the other wanted, as if we could understand eachother without having to say words. Not only that, I could feel she was thinking the same thing and knew that she knew that I knew.
We hear about the laws of attraction all the time and wonder if it is just some pie in the sky universe nonesense, but for once I think I understood what it meant. It was not just about feeling butterflies, but more about energy. It felt like we were releasing our own energy and our wavelengths matched perfectly in unison and our bodies were picking up the vibrations.
We had one whole week of blissful innocence before our vaction ended. We agreed to stay in touch as we lived in different countries and made an effort to visit eachother every free moment we had. We did this for a full year and then suddenly... radio silience.
Table of Content
What To Do When Your Girlfriend Leaves You
Sometimes it's clear that your ex is your ex for a reason (they simply do not want to be with you). If the relationship felt right for them, they would have no reason to leave. You've got to know to cut your losses and not chase something the other does not want out of respect for them, but also you.
Besides, do you really want someone to stay with you out of pitty? Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who won't love your back?
Those aren't the type of conditions that will bring you the happiness you desire and deserve. It's best to let her go for your sake and her's and find an other fish in the sea that will bring you joy, meaning and a potential mother to your kids.
Step 1: Deciding If You Want Her Back
This might sound like an obvious one, however, as already mentioned, if you feel deep down she does not want to be with you, then best cut your loses. Even if she were to stick around, you'd always know she didn't feel the same way for you as you do for her.
Just because you want it doesn't mean it's the right thing for you and what you want from a relationship. In my case, she vanished without trace and it made no sense whatsoever... I mean why not just say goodbye?
So I knew in my hearts of hearts I would regret never trying to find out what happened and knew I wanted her back regardless of the reasons... there was just too much to lose by not doing anything about it.
Think long and hard if you want her back in your life
Step 2: Understanding What Pushed Your Ex Away
There are three general mistakes men do more so than women when wanting there exs back. They focus too much on wanting them back, but at the same time they react by doing certain things that drove her away in the first place.
These things fall under the same category (showing your weakness as a man).
What are those things you ask?
Using pity and showing what a bad state you are in.
Contacting her all the time rather than giving her time to reflect.
Telling her how much she means to you. A girl doesn't want to feel more guilt after breaking up with you, it will give them more reason to push you away further.
It is a hard time for you, but show her you are obviously sad, but you are doing well and life goes on.
Remember, so is also hurting for her lose
Step 3: Getting Back Into Your Life Again
That's right, a counter intuitive piece of advice that sounds all BS.
But hear me out though, if you fixate on just her, then she will feel even more pressure and guilty for breaking up with you. As much as we like to think guilt will bring her back, it actually doesn't. She might come back out of guilt but it won't be long before she realizes she didn't do it because she wanted to, but rather out of guilt, only to leave again.
Get on with living your life as though she has no influence over it. As though you have plenty of options to do your own things and options to meet as many girls as your heart desires (because you really do have those options).
There's a life outside of relationships
What If She Stops Contacting You?
In my case contacted just stopped, so the only thing I could realy do was Step 1 and that was to decided if I really wanted here back (which I did).
But how can you follow Steps 2 & 3 when you couldn't get a hold of her, when she ignored every text and phone call you made, when she just disappeared without trace?
Well it's easy:
Steps 2:I stopped tring to call and text her. She clearly wasn't answering, so it must have annoyed her that I was not getting the message to leave her alone.
Steps 3: Was easy to do as she was no where to be found, so I had no choice but to get on with my live. The only problem was she was not around to notice it, but that was a good thing as I could truly get on with my life.
Six months later I get a text message out of the blue. A rather generic "hey how are you" and that was the moment I knew I was in control now.
I knew I wanted her back, but I also knew I had options and could be just as happy without here.
So I texted:
"I missed you, I do not know what happened to make you leave, but it left a deep impression in me. I have a great life now, so I hope you do not plan on taking that away from me. You know what I want out of this, so be sure you want the same thing, if not, let's leave amicably.... xoxo"
Correlations Between Breakups & Wanting Your Ex Back
Whether she breaks up with you or whether your want her back, understand it is your ego that got dentent and not because you can't live without this girl.
Once you remove the shackles of thought that are making you miserable you will soon find you are enjoying life and she'll notice you aren't paying her the attention you once were. This will pique her interest and wonder why you lost interest in her... suddenly she feels less important and requires your attention.
But do not go back to living your life for the sole purpose of wanting her back. Make sure you are actually living your life so that if she does get back in contact you will get a better perspective as to whether you want her back or not... because afterall, you might have other choices of women that now better match your criteria.
How the story ended is for me is for an other time, but I can tell you, either way I was happy within my life and knew that if a girl ever left me again, I knew I could push forward and I would eventually be fine! 😊