My house is full of drama. My daughter was diagnosed by a pediatric neurologist with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) at the age of 4, and my husband is being treated for it as well. Yes, it is genetic.
My daughter was a preemie born at 34 weeks, and she had to stay in Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) for 2 weeks. Children born at 33 to 34 weeks are "40% more likely to have ADHD than full term babies." My pediatrician said preemies are more at risk, because their brain has not finished developing. The more premature the more immature the brain is.
My daughter was at preschool and it was time for her to change buildings, because to was moving up to an advance pre K. For about 3 days, she would cry and have a huge tantrum. The 4th day, I got a call from the principal that it might be best to move her back to preschool, because she refused to calm down. Luckily her favorite preschool teacher was able to talk to her and settle her down. I asked her what did you say, she said one word, "Breathe." To this day I still remind her to calm down and breathe when she gets so upset.
Another time I realized she has ADHD was when I took her to the ophthalmologist at the age of 3, and she covered her eyes the entire and hid under his desk. I was so embarrassed, that I did not even reschedule. I found a female doctor and she did much better.
The dentist was surprised that I did not take her in until she turned 6 years old. We did an initial visit before I let them do x-rays or teeth cleaning. She started crying, but she did stay until the exam was done. When I scheduled her to have the cleaning and x-rays, she sat there like a real champ. I was so proud of her. This was a major accomplishment! I knew she would not have a meltdown if I tried when she was younger.
These are a few things I have implemented that seem to have helped my daughter focus:
1. A reward system is an absolute must. It doesn't matter if it's a sticker or a trip to the park. If she knows she will
get something for good behavior, she is more likely to comply.
2. Omit Red Food Dye #40
3. Cut back on sweets
4. I just found a great tool for the pottying issue. It's called a "potty watch." You set the watch for a certain amount of
time, then an alarm will go off to alert her to go potty. She loves the watch, because I don't have to remind her to go
which turns into a power struggle.
5. I have discovered Activia to support her digestive tract and it seems to be helping.
6. We have 3 dogs, and she has her favorite dog sleep with her at night. It makes her feel more secure.
7. The bed wetting was out of control, so she now wears older kids "pull ups." She fought me about it a year ago, but she
likes them now.
8. I keep her on a routine. If we deviate from the routine, I prepare her for it in advance.
9. If she is playing outside or at the park and it is time to come in, I give her a 15 minute countdown.
10. I read to her every night and it helps her sleep.
11. Same bed time every night at the same time, even when she does not have school the next day. Sleep is critical
to how well she does the next day.
12. When she starts repeating the same phrase over and over, I know she is tired. That's my cue to let her mind rest
if we are studying or playing a game, otherwise a major temper tantrum will erupt.
13. I have tried time outs, and they do not work with children that have ADHD. The best thing I have found is to reward
good behavior and ignore the bad. If the behavior is really bad, I will take away something precious to her for that day
or night. I have to pick my battles carefully.
14. When she's having a major meltdown, I wait until after she has calmed down to talk to her about her behavior.