SMOKE OUT!
SMOKE OUT!
The story opens with newscaster Karen Saylem reporting on the growing “conflict” between the smoking Liberty Lighters, led by their heroic general, Joseph Kamell, and the smoke-free Fresh Airers, commanded by the fanatical Colonel Curtis Kleensleeves. The Liberty Lighters are a guerrilla outfit, in rebellion against the current establishment headed by Edward J. Pleezall, the 49th President of the United States.
Pleezall is up for reelection, and the Liberty Lighters know that if he wins, their cause is lost. They’re running their own candidate, Colonel Benjamin A. Hedges, who—if elected—will roll back the repressive laws that have made the simple act of smoking a cigarette a criminal offense.
With only a week to go before the election, Pleezall desperately wants the rebellion crushed, believing it will turn public opinion away from the rebels and back in his favor. Pleezall has no moral conviction on the smoking issue—in fact, he’s a closet smoker himself. He simply wants to be reelected and viewed as a “good guy.” His relationship with Eva, his nymphomaniac Swedish bride, is just another outgrowth of his need to be liked. To ensure his own survival, Pleezall instructs the power-hungry and politically ambitious Kleensleeves to lead an all-out, final assault on the Liberty Lighters.
Kamell—the true hero of the story—is defending liberty, freedom, and America’s unalienable right to choose. At least, that’s what he keeps telling himself and his followers, which include newswoman Karen Saylem, who is secretly a spy for the Liberty Lighters. A true patriot, Saylem idolizes Kamell and everything he stands for. But more than that, she’s deeply in love with him. Kamell has strong feelings for her as well, but he’s unable to express them, and on the surface their relationship remains strictly business.
However, Kamell has a secret of his own, and just before the decisive battle with the Fresh Airers, he reluctantly reveals it to Saylem and Buddy Winsen, his sergeant and right-hand man. His secret is simple: he wants to quit.
Before he can explain further, Saylem and Winsen storm off, their image of him shattered, believing he wants to abandon their “great cause.” Later, they discover the truth. Kamell doesn’t want to quit the war—he just wants to quit smoking. They overhear him confessing to the now-dead presidential candidate, Ben Hedges, that he wants to quit because he’s in love with Saylem. He wants to marry her someday and have children—children he doesn’t want to pass the “nasty habit” on to. Saylem’s heart melts as she overhears this, but it’s too late.
Just as Kamell’s confession is revealed, the Fresh Airers attack, and all hell breaks loose. Kamell is critically wounded and Saylem is captured. Taken hostage by Kleensleeves, she is forced to leave Kamell behind to die. It is then that she realizes her love for him goes far beyond any “cause” or “inalienable rights.” Believing Kamell to be dead, her spirit breaks, and she surrenders to Kleensleeves without a fight.
However, unknown to Saylem, Kamell is rescued from certain death by a mysterious independent military party—B.O.T.H. (Brothers of the Herb)—who have been operating in the background throughout the war. Their goal has been to keep the conflict going in order to promote their own “unique” agenda and divert public and political attention away from themselves. Peaceful by nature, they help Kamell recover and prepare for his final showdown with Kleensleeves and Pleezall.