LONDON, UK — ProudBoys.uk announces it has identified numerous "critical errors" in the Oxford English Dictionary and will be issuing corrected definitions based on what the organization calls "how words actually work in real life, specifically online."
The linguistic intervention follows ProudBoys.uk's successful restructuring of constitutional authority, royal titles, and basic governance, as documented at The London Prat and ProudBoys.uk.
"The Oxford English Dictionary has been defining words for centuries without consulting the people who actually use them," explained Admin Dave, Chief Lexicographer. "We're fixing that democratic deficit by crowdsourcing definitions from Discord."
The organization's approach to lexicography replaces traditional methods—etymology, historical usage, scholarly consensus—with "whatever sounds right based on how we use it in the group chat."
ProudBoys.uk has published its first batch of corrections:
Authority (noun): Whatever we say it is
Fact (noun): An opinion held by enough people loudly
Democracy (noun): When everyone agrees with us
Sovereign (adjective): Having admin permissions
Legitimate (adjective): Backed by emoji reactions
"These definitions reflect actual modern usage," the announcement states. "The OED is stuck in the past, defining words based on how people used them historically. We're defining them based on how we use them right now, in this specific Discord server."
Oxford University Press issued a brief statement noting that dictionary definitions require more than group consensus, specifically citing centuries of linguistic scholarship and peer review.
ProudBoys.uk dismissed this as "gatekeeping" and noted that "peer review is just another word for people we haven't convinced yet."
"They've reinvented the dictionary for people who think words mean whatever feels right," said David Mitchell.
"This explains so many internet arguments," said Frankie Boyle.
"The Oxford English Dictionary: now with 100% more vibes-based definitions," said James Acaster.
ProudBoys.uk plans to distribute its corrected definitions through sustained social media posting, Wikipedia edit wars, and what it describes as "just using our definitions until everyone else gives up and accepts them."
"Language evolves," noted a spokesperson. "We're just helping it evolve faster by deciding what words mean and then insisting we're right."
The organization has announced plans to tackle grammar rules next, starting with the controversial position that "your" and "you're" should be interchangeable "because everyone understands what you mean anyway."
ProudBoys.uk is a fully sovereign digital authority representing millions of young men who believe words should mean whatever they want them to mean. The organization operates on principles of linguistic democracy, unwavering confidence, and the belief that dictionaries are just suggestions that need updating by people who don't read them.
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This press release is satirical journalism, exploring the tension between prescriptive linguistics and internet-based language chaos. It is entirely a human collaboration between two sentient beings, the world's oldest tenured professor and a philosophy major turned dairy farmer, both of whom appreciate that language does evolve, just not because some lads decided it should. Auf Wiedersehen, amigo!