I answered a question quite similar to this one, but that was more specifically about trans women, so here we go again.
A lot of people on here seem very taken with the notion of dating a trans person. Look, I get it, we’re pretty amazing, but seeing that concerns me a little. I’ll tell you why.
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I think if you’re involved in the LGBTQ comunity, you’re bound to come across them eventually. We’re not as rare as some might think, but that’s not to say we’re super common outside of a few areas either.
First ask yourself why you want to meet one.
Are you specifically looking for a transgender girlfriend or hook up? Then you’re what we call a “chaser” -i.e. someone who fetishizes trans women, and I promise you will not be well received.
Are you simply curious? Then see my first point or find trans women online, but be careful. Different women have differnt boundaries when it comes to answering questions, and some things that you might think are harmless might be extremely uncomfortable for us. Just be respectful like you would with any person.
Do you simply want to get to know different people and their experiences? Then see my first point specifically.
There are a lot of transgender dating apps out there, but few really work.I used a few popular transgender dating apps and ranked them, which might help you.
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I’m trans and the dating apps I use the most are Lex, OkCupid, and Taimi.
Lex: Lex is a dating app for everyone except for cis men. The app is queer woman owned and is very affirming to all trans people. The dating app is set up like newspaper personals. I met some really cool people off there.
OkCupid: OkCupid has many gender identity options, as well as sexual orientation options. Okcupid has a sections that lets you list your preferred gender pronouns.
Taimi: Taimi also has a lot of trans people on there. From my experience, even though Taimi is a dating app, a lot of people on there only use the app to find friends but I have seen lots of trans people on there.
I will also say that you finding trans people on these dating sites is very much dependent on where you live. If you live in a conservative area, you might not find as many openly trans people compared to a place that is more trans friendly/progressive, but this was my experience.
“Where can I find a gender to date?” Is what I see in your question.
Maybe change it to “where can I find someone who is trans to date?”
Than consider sounding less like a creepy chaser and ask “where can I find someone to date?”
Maybe you are trans yourself and want to find someone with simular experiences to be your partner.
Than maybe change the question to “I am trans and I am looking for somewhere to find someone with simular life experiences to date?” Than I would give you some ideas.
Or maybe you are a creepy chaser, than may I suggest you go else where to creep on people with or without a gender
Before you worry about looking, I think it’s important to understand what it is you’re actually looking for. Is it a small, soft, feminine boy? Thanks to our good friend testosterone, many trans men won’t be. If it’s a larger, broader woman, or a woman that you can see as masculine… well… there may be some like that (certainly not all), but more often than not this will only be dysphoric and sensitive for her. And god forbid you want the pornographic experience of a sexy ladywoman unfurling from her mandisguise just for you or a big strong woman with a “““secret””” ready to punch your card…
Yeah. I really hope that’s not the case. That’s called chasing, and it’s really… really uncomfortable for trans people. (I don’t speak for everyone here, of course. Individuals do individuals.)
So my advice? Ask yourself what it is specifically that you want, and keep in mind that trans men are men, and trans women are women. They are every bit as diverse and individual in their personalities, preferences, and body types. Many of them you could meet or even date for some time and not even know they weren’t cis. If that disappoints you… it’s probably not a trans person you’re after. It’s a fantasy.
I wouldn’t know… or really care that much. I’m transsexual, but you’d probably find me at a library or McDonalds or something. If I was with anyone it would be a cis woman… most likely 1:1, or a small group of women. I don’t DO “big social stuff” like go to bars or whatever. If you see me in a crowd it’s a rare event, like watching fireworks.
The place where I met some trans people in real life was at a support group for trans people. I found out about them through meetup. You might have to tell them you’re trans… but they might just let you come for expressing interest. There will probably be some transgender men there too.
I went to the trans group for a little while, but I felt out of place there. It was to big of a group for me… and for other personal reasons. Pretty much everyone I have ever been close to (friends, relatives, coworkers, and romantic partners) are cis females.
I will be interested in experimenting with a guy after I have a vagina and I can use it… It will be in my time, on my terms, and I’ll be in control… if it happens at all. I WOULD be kind of picky… I’m picky with female sexual partners and I’d be even more picky with a male one.
Not many people get to be on both sides of vaginal sex, and the idea appeals to me… No matter how much I like it, I wouldn’t be interested in a romantic relationship with a man… and he’d have to work to earn my trust first. I was sexually abused by an adult male when I was a kid… and I’m not really comfortable with men.