When I started hiking I was in college. In the spring months after class was done for the day, my roommates and I would go to nearby hiking trails and do a mile or two. But after I graduated college, I wanted to start doing harder trails. I wanted to do the SoCal Six Pack of Peaks and Mt. Whitney. But we all graduated and moved on with our lives in different directions. It was easier to make friends in high school and college because of the close proximity, I mean who else are you going to be friends with? But in adulthood, you go through different seasons of life, you start exploring different activities and want friends that understand you.

On my second Mt. Whitney attempt, I was solo. On the way up the trail, I hopped around and made friends with either solo hikers or different groups of people. On the way down, there was a solo guy hiking down, and we ended up hiking down to the cars together. It was great having the company.


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The intimacy of mind and heart that characterizes the deepest form of friendship is rare, but it is also undiminished by small quantities: one friend like this is enough for a lifetime. What is harder to find in adequate abundance is low-stakes, time-flexible friendships of camaraderie and affection that do not require deep intimacy.

This type of friendship may be difficult to realize off-screen. It falls between two stools, requiring existing social capital to cultivate, without necessarily providing much reward in depth of relationship. Its internal structure does not allow for persistence through the formation of permanent attachments, or much engagement with the outside world beyond different forms of consumption. It is not made to grow; it is made to be looked at.tag_hash_107

Any town or city built around the automobile will, to varying degrees, be harder to develop friendships of serendipity in. If you have to get in a car to go somewhere, and if a critical mass of people do not more or less work where they live, the overall volume and complexity of criss-crossing networks of movement will shrink. The default will be to see only the people you mean to see on purpose.

You still have to live, you still want to make friends. Trying in a hostile environment will yield less fruit than trying in an ideal environment, but more than doing nothing in either. Here is a primer.

Join the Elks or the Lions, the Knights of Columbus or the Polish American Civic Association. You might find it awkward, dull, or corny at first, but do you want to be a friend or do you want to be cool? The desire to be a friend sees everyone as interesting, as they are. It seeks greater ingress into the social and physical reality around you. The desire to be cool desires glamor and thrills; it sees people who cannot provide these as NPCs.

The key to making the bar work as a space for friendships to form is one of the keys to making friends in general. Do not assume that you can only be friends with people like you, whether that is age, sex, occupation, or politics. You can make friends with disabled veterans and widowed grandmothers and college students. You will find what they offer cannot be predicted.tag_hash_108

I ended up making three friends that day. We were all going at the same pace and in a little cluster together. We laughed about feeling nervous and awkward, supported each other on the harder passages, and were also some of the few people of color in attendance. We traded phone numbers afterward, which was encouraged by the guide, and I continued hiking with them from there.

I found it very difficult to make friends on game- when I came back for Legion after quitting early WoD, I saw a /w for this guild. After looking them up a bit, I server changed and been there since as a social member.

But I did make a few friends in WoD, only one of which is still playing, the rest of my bnet is made up of RL friends and a couple from these forums

The truth is, making friends as an adult is hard work. It takes time and effort to build a new social circle but it 100% can be done. And truthfully, because you DO have the option to be super picky about who you surround yourself with, chances are the friendships you form now will be super fulfilling.

tag_hash_109Note: You also have the option to block people from your collaborative playlist or from viewing your activity on Spotify. Head over to our Support pages to find out more.

Me and 3 friends got the game on pc, xbox, and ps4. None of us can find each other when we search friends and can only find friends on the same system. We have went through all settings on ea and in game and have read all fourms related to issue. My friend on pc downloaded xbox buddy and i was able to add that but xbox buddy wont allow us to join same game only party chat and view on friends list.

I've played Guild Wars 2 for almost 7 years now and after so much time I'm finally trying to meet people in this game but I sometimes feel like this game was made for you to play alone in some sense, whether it's a interaction in the game's content or event and then it ends. My point is: Is there a way, a place, a site or something that I can do to make friends in Guild Wars 2?

Yes, a guild that you can relate to is ideal... Note that you can belong to several guilds (5, I think it is) at a time, and since many guilds don't require 100% representation, joining multiple guilds to fill different needs can be beneficial as well. You will quickly find people that you enjoy playing with... Aside from from guilds, there are also many commanders that run events and trains on a daily basis... finding one that you enjoy running regularly will also expose you to the same people; you can make friends this way as well.

Most of the friends I have made in GW2 were mostly people I accidentally ran into. I do a lot of open world content such as meta-events but also join random events where people just need help. I do HP runs frequently (without a squad), where I also meet all kinds of players. When people ask something in mapchat, I try to help with my experience or at least my fast computer/wiki-skills :P. Those are all quick interactions which do not last long. But sometimes a discussion begins, whispering a person over a longer time-period. This can happen because people are curios or I am curious. I've done Aurora, so I know almost all key-steps from memory. And when I see someone asking for a certain achievement, I usually ask if they go for the trinket. Which is a good conversation starter.


I'm also wandering core-tyria maps once in a while and do dungeons, where I also meet nice people. A couple of days ago, I ran into a newbie in Gendarran Fields while showing a returner the beetle-races. We had a small chat and did a dungeon-run together, added each others as friends.


Guilds are a good start. If you have not had any experience in a while, a guild will help you to become familiar with talking to people. Pick a social guild, those are really nice and usually more open to shy people. A lot of them have discord as external communication-platform, with voice-channels. But many do not require you to use it. They take you as you are and enjoy your company.


PS: Regarding wvw. I actually had two very nice talks with people who originally whispered me to bash me about how I do WvW. One of them joined my convenience-guild. The other one stopped attacking me and moved on, all with a little bit of communication. If you are friendly and calm, you can make friends more easily imo.

I have found that one of the best ice breakers for talking with other climbers is to find out their opinions on gear or the routes that they are climbing. It is no secret that climbing gear can be an investment. Getting advice from online reviews is helpful before spending money on a new harness or shoes, but getting advice from people actually using the gear at your local gym can be far superior. In addition to seeing gear used in action, having those conversations with fellow climbers can open the lines of communication for new friendships to form.

I had so few friends it didn't really matter how I behaved. I had nothing to lose. I had no idea what it meant to be likable though I was surrounded by generally likable people, or I suppose, I was surrounded by people who were very invested in projecting a likable faade, people who were willing to play by the rules. I had likable parents and brothers. I was the anomaly as a social outcast, but even from a young age, I understood that when a girl is unlikable, a girl is a problem. I also understood that I wasn't being intentionally mean. I was being honest (admittedly, without tact), and I was being human. It is either a blessing or a curse that those are rarely likable qualities in a woman.

Inevitably on every reality-television program, someone will boldly declare, "I'm not here to make friends." They do so to establish that they are on a given program to win the nebulous prize or the bachelor's heart or get the exposure they need to begin their unsteady rise to a modicum of fame. These people make this declaration by way of explaining their unlikability or the inevitably unkind edit they're going to receive from the show's producers. It isn't that they are terrible, you see. It's simply that they are not participating in the show to make friends. They are freeing themselves from the burden of likability or they are, perhaps, freeing us from the burden of guilt for the dislike and eventual contempt we might hold for them.

Why is likability even a question? Why are we so concerned with, whether in fact or fiction, someone is likable? Unlikable is a fluid designation that can be applied to any character who doesn't behave in a way the reader finds palatable. Lionel Shriver notes in an essay for The Financial Times, "This 'liking' business has two components: moral approval and affection." We need characters to be lovable while doing right. ff782bc1db

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