The Power of Persistence and Teaching It to Kids

When I was in my final year of college at Indiana University, I had no real idea of how to find a job. I really didn’t know how to do it.

My university, placement officer, advisor and professors were of little help. Without their aid, my attempts to find summer internships were disastrous, which dimmed my chances for finding a job.

Up to that point in life, my only “real” job had been painting houses during the summer in the massive townhouse community I had grown up in. Mom got me that job.

Actually, I also worked at the college newspaper for 3.5 years. I got paid, but I’m not sure it counted as a job since I never made enough to file taxes.

In that last year at the college newspaper, a co-editor of mine had a plan: He applied to about 100 newspapers across the nation. That meant spending a fortune on photocopies of his newspaper clips, resumes and postage.

I think he got two responses back, but he also got his first job within a few weeks. I learned from his lead.

No, I did not send out 100 job applications. I chose to be more selective. I applied to a dozen of newspapers in the Midwest. I snagged a handful of job interviews that went nowhere.

For my last spring break of college, my mom took me and my brother to Phoenix, where she dreamed of moving to someday. (She did a year or so later.)

I took advantage of the trip by applying to all the newspapers in the area. I even was able to schedule an interview at the former Scottsdale Progress before flying out. Sadly, the editor cancelled it the day after I arrived in town. (That’s another story.)

Since this was before cell phones, I couldn’t count on getting called back by the remaining newspaper, so I made my calls in 100-degree heat from an old-fashioned phone booth on a noisy highway. The Arizona Republic laughed at me. So did the Phoenix Gazette. But when I phoned what was then called The Mesa Tribune, a surprise awaited me.

“Can you come in the next morning?” a terse editor said.

“Um, sure, I said.”

The editor gave me directions, which were confusing as heck. Hey, this was before MapQuest, folks.

I arrived, took an editing test, interviewed with a couple managers and went back to our family vacation. As I walked out – I still remember sitting down in my mom’s broiling rental car – I was pretty sure the editor who had called me hated me.

By the time I graduated three months later, I had given up on The Mesa Tribune. Instead, I decided to stay on campus for the summer while I continued my job hunt. I was stuck with my apartment lease until fall anyway.

A week after graduating, the editor at The Mesa Tribune called me up. “How soon can you get here?”

“Huh?”

“I can’t give you a reporting job. How about being a copy editor?”

“Um, sure.”

“When can you get here?”

“Maybe in a week?” I responded.

“Hurry up.”

And so I had my first job. In fact, it was the best job of my life; I stuck with it for 11 years even though career-wise I should have left after 8 or 9 years.

I am reflecting on how I got my first job for a reason: Until recently, I never realized one word was behind getting that first job: persistence. I simply kept trying until someone hired me.

I now find this ironic. After 20 years of work experience, being persistent within an organization is generally not rewarded. In fact, it’s generally punished and in a big way.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told, “Brett, don’t take things so seriously,” or “You are we too intense for me.” To survive, I’ve had to really dull a large part of my personality to get by. And yes, it does hurt.

Now that I’m trying to get a business off the ground, I find myself wishing for that inner relentlessness. It turns out persistence, not skill, may be your strongest asset! If you give up too easily in business, you lose.

Why am I bringing all this up? Because it relates directly to parenting.

Sometimes, my daughter, Lael, just won’t give up. In fact, if you interfere with whatever she is trying to accomplish – rip apart a book, climb shelves or raid the refrigerator – she doggedly returns moments after steering her another direction.

Sometimes, my son, Seth, gets frustrated and gives up. Thomas Tracks that refuse to stay together can create quite the meltdown.

Sometimes, the roles reverse, where Seth won’t give up on something, and Lael gets completely frustrated on something else.

Both my wife and I work hard to find balance between destructive behavior and healthy persistence. It is quite a battle.

In the end, we want them to pursue their dreams doggedly and yet be able to function within our society. Getting the formula right is not easy, but it is crucial.