Self Esteem
Self Esteem
Self-esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves. When we have healthy self-esteem, we tend to feel positive (good) about ourselves and about life in general. It makes us better able to deal with life's ups and downs. When our self-esteem is low, we tend to see ourselves and our life in a more negative and critical light. We also feel less able to take on the challenges that life throws at us.
Low self-esteem often begins in childhood. Our teachers, friends, siblings, parents, and even the media send us positive and negative messages about ourselves.
For some reason, the message that you are not good enough is the one that stays with you. Perhaps you found it difficult to live up to other people's expectations of you, or to your own expectations. These are what start the development of low self-esteem.
If you have low self-esteem or confidence, you may hide yourself away from social situations, stop trying new things, and avoid things you find challenging. In the short term, avoiding challenging and difficult situations might make you feel safe. But in the future, this can backfire because it reinforces your underlying doubts and fears. It teaches you the unhelpful rule that the only way to cope is by avoiding things.
Living with low self-esteem can harm your mental health and lead to problems such as depression and anxiety. You may also develop unhelpful habits, such as smoking and drinking too much, as a way of coping.
To boost your self-esteem, you need to identify the negative beliefs you have about yourself, then challenge them. You may tell yourself you're "too stupid" to do well in your test or complete a task, for example, or that "nobody cares" about you. Start to note these negative thoughts and write them on a piece of paper or in a diary. Ask yourself when you first started to think these thoughts.
Next, start to write some evidence that challenges these negative beliefs, such as, "I'm really good at Kahoot or when I study I do well" or "My sister calls for a chat every week".
Write down positive things about yourself, such as "I'm thoughtful" or "I'm a great cook" or "I have great friends who always help me". Also write some good things that other people say and think about you. Aim to have at least 5 positive things on your list and add to it regularly. Then put your list somewhere you can see it. That way, you can keep reminding yourself that you're OK.
Paul doesn't like to study and usually gets low grades in class. Some of his classmates laugh at him which causes him to feel bad about himself. One boy from his neighbourhood suggested to him that if he wants to feel better he should start smoking and drinking alcohol. He told his friend Josh about it. Josh told him that the boy's suggestion is foolish and he would be stupid to follow it. He told Paul that he's very smart and all he needs to do is to study harder and his grades will improve.
What is Paul's weakness?
What is the effect of his weakness?
What causes Paul to have poor self-esteem?
Is Josh a good or a bad friend? Say why you made that conclusion.
What did Josh say that will help Paul feel better about himself?
If Paul follows Josh's advice what will cause Paul to have a positive self-esteem?