Dr. Tobias is the principal at Durham School of the Arts. Dr. Tobias has been the head of DSA for 3 years. Although Dr. Tobias is a devoted educator who cares deeply for her students and staff, it took hard work and painful challenges to get to where Dr. Tobias sits today. From immigrating to America at a young age to working full day with 4 children all while attending school. Dr. Tobias shares her impactful story on her journey to becoming the delightful woman she is today.
“When I was 17, my family decided that we were going to uplift our whole family and we were going to move from Jamaica to the United States.
Till this day I’m not quite sure of why we moved, all I know is that we just up and moved. We have 7 kids in total in my family so that was a huge move for us; we literally left a lot of memorable things behind. Like my personal family belongings etc. We just got up and left. When I came to America, they decided [Tobias’ parents] that because I was only 17, even though I already graduated from high school in Jamaica, That I should go back to high school in America. Mainly for college, I probably wouldn't have gotten into college with my Jamaican high school degree. So, I went to high school in December my senior year. Horrible, horrible, horrible.
Culturally it was terrible, people take cultural things for granted.
Till this day, that was not the fondest experience I have in my life. Just imagine, for six months you are sitting at a cafeteria table by yourself. I didn't have a whole lot of friends; I had one friend basically and she was another Jamaican girl. We didn't hang out outside of school or anything. I would say that I spoke with a really strong Jamaican accent and many of the kids didn’t understand what I was saying.
I seriously didn’t understand what a prom was and what a homecoming was. Back in Jamaica, we didn’t know what that was and we didn’t celebrate many of holiday’s that the states celebrate. It was like even though I spoke English it was speaking another language. You don’t understand anything going around you. I did have an advantage, I was smart. Courses helped me a lot, the school put me in AP courses because I was basically a year ahead of American school. I didn’t struggle academically though.
I definitely questioned who I was. It was painful, I felt insecure.
When I graduated from high school, I still didn’t fit in. I looked black but I wasn’t the black people were familiar with. I didn't fit in with the black people and didn’t fit in with the white people. People told me I didn’t act black, and I was genuinely confused because I didn’t know what acting anything was, black or white. It was a really terrible year for me. What really helped was my high school counselor, he realized I was smart and that I could go to college. He helped me apply for the University of Florida which at that time was a difficult school to get into, particularly for African Americans. I got it and that started my education career, it was hard just like high school. When I got to college, I was ostracized! I got to a point where I finally told myself,
'You're just going to have to be you.'
I’m who I am and stop trying to be someone I’m not. Till this day I still have that mindset.
I started out being a physical therapist for a little while actually and not in the education field. My degree was in conclusion so I became a school counselor and I loved it. My peers around me told me I was a good leader and I should apply for a position that is leader based. So I took some time having kids, I have 4 kids. Before I became principal, I lived in Alabama for 4 years and I was a school counselor at a school similar to DSA. I had a terrible principal, he was not active in the school or students like he should’ve. The assistant principal and I were basically running the school. One day the AP told me I should apply for principal and that would make a great title for me. I was hesitant at first because my children were very young so I waited for a while. My family and I ended up moving to North Carolina and at my new school, I was still a counselor. My principal came up to me, everyone always came up to me asking me all sorts of questions. It finally hit me like,
'Ding! Ding! Ding!'
Why don’t I just become principal? Because I was doing all of the work that came with it, I just didn’t have the title or the pay to reflect that. With my 4 children and my full-time job, I went to UNCG and got my MSA. It was hard, I worked full time, came home and then went to school at night. I ended up getting my degree in MSA. That was hard and it was a lot, but I did it. I got my first ‘leader’ job as an assistant principal in Lexington city school. I loved it, it was a hard school though. It was a poor school; it had a lot of academic problems, but I loved every minute of it. It was hard work, but it made me who I am today. 'Believe in yourself, don’t give up on your dreams.' I was never slated to be successful; I was never the one people would day to be principal.
'I have a survivor spirit that I can make it out of anything!'"