It is with profound sadness and a great sense of loss that we announce the death of Cancio Fernandes who after a brief illness, was called to rest on 30th January 2019. Dearly beloved husband of 50 years, of Erris Fernandes. Son of the late Braz and Teodomira Fernandes, Loving brother/in law of the late Joanita/Coney D'souza, late Lira/ Sidney Rodrigues, Elsie/Hilary Fernandes (Canada), Terence/Yukiko Pinto (Canada) Christine/Michael Rattos (Australia). Much loved uncle and cousin to many nieces, nephews and cousins all over the world.

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Eulogy

by Ives Mascarenhas

Allow me to first thank Bunny for the privilege of delivering this eulogy. You all knew Cancio well. And if the question of a eulogy were to have been brought up with him – which it obviously wasn’t – he would have rolled his eyes upwards, and said “Whatever Bunny wants. But if there has to be one, keep it short.”

That was Cancio: matter-of-fact, loving, kind gentle. But it is not an easy task to sum up a life in a short eulogy…

I first met Cancio some 65 years ago, in 1954/55 in Nairobi. He would have been around 10 years old, just slightly older than me. His eldest sister, Joanita had begun working in the office my father worked in; then his sister Lira. And this was the way my parents got to know his parents. Elsie, his third sister, was still at school. The two families grew close. So close, that Cancio was considered the fourth son, the eldest son in our family, by my parents. Here in London, I’ve often been asked whether we are related, because over a whole lifetime our two families have been close to one another.

Cancio was born in Nairobi, his parents having gone there from Goa. He was educated there, and we were at the same school… the Dr Ribeiro Goan School, he being a year ahead of me, as our 1957 school annual shows. Ours was a co-educational school, primarily for Goan girls and boys.

In those years we were in one another’s homes several times a week. Cancio was a leader. He would lead me up the guava trees in their front garden… and when this wasn’t exciting enough, up the jamnum tree, from which we were banned, because its branches were weak. And obviously, we enjoyed this fruit all the more.

Cancio was deeply fond of music. I remember Cancio on our birthdays, when dinner would inevitably be followed by a sing-song. Cancio would be there with his guitar and later as a teenager, also with an accordion. Elsie on the piano, Cancio’s Mum and my Dad would be on violins and everyone on vocals at full blast and, surprisingly, in key, despite the volume of alcohol consumed.

At school, Cancio was asked by the headmaster to form a school dance band – which he did. He played the guitar and did various solos on the accordion – the band had a saxophonist, a doublebass, drummer, and so on. Cancio invited a young pianist named Terence Pinto a talented jazz musician, to play in the band. The band was a great success, and not just at school dances – they were even invited to play at a GI dance (that’s the Goan Institute, not the US army). His three sisters known as the Cancio’s Sisters would sing in many concerts.

When he started to drive – underage, of course – with one of his sisters close beside him… he would relate to me the excitement of “touching 45 or 50 mph” which in those days was a almost like a Formula 1 speed.

While we were in our early-teens he led a small band: at carnival time, he would persuade my mother to let me go with them, from house to house, singing and serenading. As I was good-for-nothing, he convinced me that the most important job was to collect money from the families we were singing to… and I was to rattle the tin… I can’t now recall how that money was spent!!

I wasn’t going to say this, but Bunny reminded me. He was very popular with the girls in our class. We were around 13 or 14 years of age at the time. We’d walk home together, a journey of about half-an-hour. Coming out of the school gate, he would signal to me… I was to walk about 50 yards ahead of him… while he walked his current girl-friend. When she was dropped off home, we would re-join. Over a period of a year or two he had several of these girl-friends.

Finishing in 1962 he began working in offices in Nairobi.

Sometime in 1963, he was with Terry Pinto, the one of the school band, who as you know is here today, He had persuaded Cancio to attend a Ballet Production at the Goan Gymkhana in Nairobi. After the show, Terry introduced him to the star ballerina, his elder sister. Cancio was smitten by Bunny. Throughout her 3 years at Teacher Training College, he would see her regularly. When she went to teach at Kahuya which was in the middle of the bush, near Thika, some 30 miles from Nairobi, he would visit her every weekend, going there using those poor buses, sometime by car… It was a testing time for her, for the place did not even have electricity. He’d take food for a grateful Bunny.. which, she tells me was so welcome, as the fare the school provided her with was barely edible. When Bunny moved to Nairobi, to teach at Highway Secondary School, it was so much easier to meet up. They were were married on the 21 April 1968 and last year, they celebrated their Golden Wedding Anniversary. And it was a delight to be with them for the celebrations. With people moving out of Kenya, in 1969 they went to Goa. After 6 months there they moved to London. When Cancio and Bunny make friends, their friendships last for years and years. They first stayed in a flat in Fishponds Road in South London. Their landlady’s son, is one of the concelebrants today, Fr Andrew Ebrahim.

He and Bunny then bought their first home, in Datchet Road. They never moved because they were so blessed and fortunate to live next door to their wonderful and loving neighbours of 50 years. Dennis and Kathleen Edkins, who have become their extended family. He watched their children grow up. Cancio was always so grateful to them for all their love and support, so that in later years he became their tour guide on many holidays spent together and their favourite DIY man.

Cancio worked for a number of companies: Tops TV in Chelsea where he was fortunate enough to meet up with famous people from film and television, when servicing their televisions: Elizabeth Taylor, Joanna Lumley, Paul McCartney, Jack Jones, Hattie Jaques, Leonard Rossiter…to name a few. He then went on to work for American Gas Marketing, where he made many friends and then for the Home Office, retiring in 2012, some 6 years ago or so.

In retirement, he was even busier than in his working life, as we shall see in some of the many messages which Bunny has received these last few days.

When I dropped in to see Bunny in the middle of last week, I was amazed how many sympathy cards she had received. There was not a square inch left uncovered… on the side tables, the fireplace lintel, all over. It would be impossible to transmit here what loving messages were inscribed in those cards.

I have chosen the easier option of making a selection of the very many e-mails Bunny has received. These will offer you not only how I saw Cancio, but the impact he made on the lives of so many. They reflect Cancio as being a kind, loving, trusting, generous and self-effacing person, for whom nothing was too much trouble when it came to helping his nephews and nieces, his other relatives and friends, far and near. I have edited them, as to read the whole text of the emails would take too long.

Elsie, his only surviving sibling, who is married to Hilary and lives in Canada, will be celebrating her 80th birthday later this year. She is unable to travel to the funeral, and sent this message:

"There are so many wonderful aspects to Cancio's life, and countless ways he touched our lives. He will be remembered as wonderful husband, son, brother, brother-in-law, uncle and cousin and a good friend to all those he knew. Cancio and I were always were close. He was my only surviving family member. Although being the youngest sibling, he took it upon himself to protect and care for his sisters, their families, and especially his mother and of course Bunny. He and Bunny housed and helped his sisters and their families settle in London when they first arrived.Thank you Bunny for your love and support throughout. Cancio will always live in our hearts, memories and stories."

From Bunny’s sister, Christine Rattos in Australia, writing to Bunny:

"Cance was such a special part of our lives. You were married to a wonderful man – and he was also blessed to have so many wonderful years with you. As a couple, you were everybody’s role models!

Cance was our rock – he did so much for our family. We will always be indebted to him for taking care of mum, Aunty Lucy and Justa. He was always there for me. Nothing was ever too much trouble for him – I just cannot imagine this world without him in it. I don’t think I could ever put into words just how much he meant to us all."

He loved all his nieces and nephews equally – never showed favouritism to any one of them. All tell of happy times spent with him. He introduced some of them, Lorraine, Kevin, Ethan, Laura, Lincoln, Liam, Gary, Kiaya and Natalie to Goa where he became their tourist guide and chauffer. He introduced them to the sights and sounds of Goa…..things they will never forget. They loved spending time with him and he with them.

Lorraine, his niece writes:

"My U Cancio was a quiet, kind man with a smile like a ray of sunshine and a warmth that endeared people to him. He was always there to lend a hand , not for the want of thanks or payment, but in the knowledge that he made someone's day a little easier. I will surely miss this very loved, warm, kind wonderful man." love Lorraine .xxx

His niece, Laura, writes:

"Easy! He will always be, our 'No Fear' Driver in Goa! He gave his time freely with a smile. Thanks to him we experienced, true Goa, the sights, smells, tastes and also met some truly beautiful people. Memories of laughter between him and A Bun, as A Bun took charge of meal times & inevitably ordered too much food. Excellent! Thanks U Cancio. God Bless you.x"

Message from Vicky, his niece, whose father died before she was born tells of how Cancio played a big part in her life:

"He was always there for me, never judged me, cared about my career, my kids, my life. I can honestly say that no one has ever loved or cared for me as much as he did. God blessed me by having such a wonderful person to watch and guide me, and I know he is still watching over me now."

Nikita on behalf of our Goa Family:

"Cancio uncle you were the heart of our family. Though you were sick you would travel miles across just to see us and be with us. Granny always says that she saw you growing up when you were a kid but now that you are no more, her mind and heart is not ready to accept. For Mom you were like her brother in her sadness and happiness. You always considered her happiness before you, trying what you could best ever give. And I have lost a best friend, a guide and a hero, like a father to the daughter. You always wished to see my wedding, wanted to dance with me but sadly this will not now happen. Rest in Peace."

I have mentioned how close our two families were… and continue to be… Here is a message from my other brother, Ovid:

"Cancio was a kind and generous person who was always quick to volunteer help and never turned down a request for help. He met me at the airport when I first landed in the UK and made me feel at home at Datchet Road. At Lorraine's wedding in 1977 I asked Cancio whether he would put me up for the night. The drive to Catford and the night spent and the advice given was to influence my life forever as a year later I got married to Judy who I met that day."

........And very many others, which we don’t have time for.

What we have had only a glimpse, as I said earlier, of Cancio as being a kind, loving, trusting, generous and self-effacing person, for whom nothing was too much trouble. So, Cancio, thank you for the wonderful example and high standard of service which you set for yourself. Help us to do the same in the time left to us before we join you.

Finally, Bunny has asked me to express her gratitude with sincere thanks to all nieces, nephews, cousins, neighbours and friends too many to mention. I will, she says, be forever grateful to them for helping me through these difficult times.

Thank you.