Download Feels Like I 39;m Always Waiting

Although many of the things that we are waiting for are good, sin develops in our hearts when we set them in the place that only belongs to God. Right now, we all long to see our loved ones like normal again. We pray for peace. We want the public health emergency to go away. Maybe we crave community and fellowship with one another. We long for racial reconciliation. On a personal level, you might be waiting to get married, to have children, for the right time to go back to college, for your financial situation to improve, or for open doors to better employment. These are all good desires, but they become sinful when we long for them more than we long for the Lord.

I seem to have a lot more time on my hands lately and feel like I am waiting for something to happen. Today, I watched some motivational talks that always help me to snap back. Nothing like a good #tonyrobbins lecture to get you off the couch.

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What I am trying to share here is that stepping out into this new world was not as scary as I thought. I just needed to do it with a plan and firm commitment that made sense to me. It was important for me to not get discouraged. But, I really needed to move. Action has been part of my DNA my whole life. I have always worked two jobs along with several other plates in the air, constantly. It was unnatural to sit and wait. I needed to get my focus back. Granted, the clock of life ticking away was a big catalyst. Older people understand this better. My clock is ticking loudly and when the final wash hits, I want to be able to say that I did not spend my post pandemic years being afraid and waiting for something to make me feel more normal. The fact is that the normal we knew and relied on is over.

So much has changed. Not all for the better, but always towards it. I wonder if the February blossoms regret their early emergence. Even so, if their petals freeze and fall with the chill of the wind, I imagine the trees feel reassured knowing they will blossom again. They live long lives, and perhaps they are comforted by the seemingly infinite springs they have yet to experience. I like the idea that spring is always waiting for me. I just need to get better at tending the soil, preparing for the burst of blossoms, ever so beautiful after a long winter.

I am starting to feel the weight of post-university stagnancy. Every day is more or less the same. Sometimes I feel like I am running out of things to say. Other times I feel like I am running out of time. More often, both. Whatever it is, I am in a constant state of tension, like the moment before a flower opens, in anticipation of release. It feels like I\u2019m a teenager at my parents\u2019 house again, taking deep breaths of quiet in my room and listening to the distant buzz of company downstairs. My hand is on the doorknob, but I still hesitate. The knowledge that goodbyes are growing closer is creating anxious energy, like my heart is full of bumblebees, waiting to be released. This is one of many winters of my life, and it feels especially cold and long. I want to set my life on fire. Franny Choi wrote: \u201CLord, I confess I want the clarity of catastrophe but not the catastrophe. / Like everyone else, I want a storm I can dance in. / I want an excuse to change my life.\u201D

I put so much pressure on achievement because I feel it\u2019s confirmation that my life is heading in the right direction. But I think back to the moments of blossoming, the ones most prominent in the memory of my heart, and realise how wrong that is. It wasn\u2019t graduation, my job offer, or my only acceptance to a literary journal. It\u2019s in the smaller moments: long walks through the park, having a good pastry, calling a friend, driving with the windows down. These things happen quietly, you know. Like winter honeysuckle \u2014 they appear when no one is looking for them. I\u2019ve passed by some recently. I\u2019m usually in a rush, bearing the cold, trying to get to my destination as quickly as I can. But their deep fragrance captures my attention, and I turn around in recognition and appreciation of their resilience. I\u2019ve always wanted to bloom like a lily or a sunflower, but maybe I bloom more like a bunch of honeysuckles \u2014 clustered, small, fragrant, beautiful.

The time when I most needed you, you ran away. You left for weeks. Where were you when I needed you there for me? How is it fair that I treat you like a king and I am treated as though I am nothing more than a broken light on the back of a Christmas tree? You could go to Madagascar, Peru, and back, and I would still be waiting here for you. In the same position and state of mind, you left me in.

This one always takes me back to my childhood. I feel like I'm 7 years old again putting out cookies for Santa and being so excited for him to come that I can't sleep! The whole season brings us back to our childhoods and makes us all feel like little excited children who believe in magic again.

Hi Melissa! I have always needed permission from my parents to follow any idea or dream i wanted for me. And i realised it this year. I am 25 now.

When i was a child i thought there were limitations because of the money, so I never said what was in my mind, i have always accepted what my parents chose for me and never asked for anything else.

I began having troubles when choosing my major after high school, but still chose what my parents said because i did not have a clear of what i wanted to do, so it made me sad but i did not refuse to them.

Now that i am grown up and graduated as an Architect, i am struggling figuring out what is next. I am trying to hear my inner voice and taking very VERY little baby steps. But it feels like i need to do something else. Something big. But i do not figure out what.

My friends, God always shows up. And not just at some remote time far in the future. He is at work now-right in this very moment that feels hopeless- in this current set of circumstances that seems without end. During the endless waiting, our job is to remember. When has He come through for you in the past? Dwell on this. Remember that our God is unchanging and He will rescue again.

Each pathway has unique adaptive responses to help us survive. We interpret these responses through neuroception. Neuroception is our ability to detect what is going on in our environment, this happens without conscious awareness, just like we are not consciously aware of how often we blink, it just happens. When we are detecting what is happening in our environment we are always assessing for cues of safety and cues of danger. Based on our interpretation of the cue, either safety or danger, we respond from one of the three pathways of the autonomic nervous system. When we are in Ventral Vagal, we are experiencing safety and connection. When we are in Sympathetic, we are in a mobilized fight-flight state. When we are in Dorsal Vagal, we are in a state of immobilization, conserving our energy and resources.

We interpret a physical sensation we feel in the body and label it anxiety or maybe fear. We are activated in some way. If the sensation feels like a tightness in the chest we immediately interpret that as a cue of danger. This happens because we learned a long time ago, maybe as a child, that every time my parents fight, I get scared, my chest gets tight and I am anticipating something really bad may happen next. Now, it does not matter if something really bad happened or not, the body now has a cellular memory of a tight chest and this is connected to strong emotions. The Sympathetic system is activated, and you are in fight or flight. You learned to experience anticipatory anxiety every time you get this feeling of a tightness in the chest. Since the subconscious mind has no sense of time you respond to the event in front of you with the same or very similar coping skills you developed when you were young.

Hi... I have an RBR50 Router and two RBS50 Satellites.... My router and satelittes were on V2.5.1.8 but I was not getting any connectivity to the Satellites on the Firmware Update page... they both just said 'waiting for connection'. If I logged into each Satellite individually, they were showing as connected to the router, and on the router under Attached Devices, both Satellites were listed with a wired backhaul (correct). But with all of this, I still am never able to get the firmware update to show any sort of connectivity to the satellites... always 'waiting for connection'. This bothers me because I am always seeming to have dropped WiFi connections and I feel that my RBR was spontaneously rebooting. I had Access Control turned ON, but I just turned it off to lighten the load on the RBR. Since firmware version V2.5.1.16 is now listed, I manually updated each satellite to V2.5.1.16 via .img file, then after they were complete, updated the RBR to V2.5.1.16 to match. Satellites are showing connected and wired backhaul again, but under firmware, still 'waiting for connection'. Why is this? I feel this centralized Firmware Update has never worked reliably on my Orbi's (Owned for over 3 years now)... any suggestions besides unpairing and resyncing my Satellites to the RBR (I have done this, and it is really quite annoying to pull them from their current location and bring them back within 10 feet of the RBR to have them re-sync, plus they are incredibly slow at that process. 17dc91bb1f