Traditional Chinese marriage (Chinese: ; pinyin: hnyn) is a ceremonial ritual within Chinese societies that involves not only a union between spouses but also a union between the two families of a man and a woman, sometimes established by pre-arrangement between families. Marriage and family are inextricably linked, which involves the interests of both families. Within Chinese culture, romantic love and monogamy were the norm for most citizens. Around the end of primitive society, traditional Chinese marriage rituals were formed, with deer skin betrothal in the Fuxi era, the appearance of the "meeting hall" during the Xia and Shang dynasties, and then in the Zhou dynasty, a complete set of marriage etiquette ("six rituals") gradually formed. The richness of this series of rituals proves the importance the ancients attached to marriage. In addition to the unique nature of the "three letters and six rituals", monogamy, remarriage and divorce in traditional Chinese marriage culture are also distinctive.
Marriages during this time included a number of mandatory steps, of which the most important of them was the presentation of betrothal gifts from the groom and his family to the bride and her family. The bride's family then countered with a dowry. Sometimes the bride's family would buy goods with the betrothal money. Using a betrothal gift for family financial needs rather than saving it for the bride was viewed as dishonorable because it appeared as though the bride has been sold. A marriage without a dowry or a betrothal gifts was also seen as dishonorable. The bride was seen as a concubine instead of a wife. Once all the goods were exchanged the bride was taken to the ancestral home of the groom. There she was expected to obey her husband and his living relatives. Women continued to belong to their husband's families even if they had passed. If the widow's birth family wanted her to marry again, they would often have to ransom her back from her deceased husband's family. If they had any children they stayed with his family.[10]
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Being a successful marriage match-maker required various special skills. Firstly, the match-maker must be very persuasive. The match-maker must persuade both sides of the marriage that the arrangement was impeccable, even though many times the arrangement was actually not perfect. In Feng Menglong's "Old Man Zhang Grows Melons and Marries Wenn" in the collection Stories Old and New (Gu Jin Xiao Shuo), he wrote about an eighty-year-old man who married an eighteen-year young girl.[16] The marriage was arranged by two matchmakers, Zhang and Li. Given the age difference, the marriage seemed impossible, but the two match-makers still managed to persuade the father of the girl to marry her to the old man. Feng Menglong described them as "Once they start to speak the match is successfully arranged, and when they open their mouths they only spoke about harmony."[16] The match-makers gave powerful persuasions by avoiding about mentioning the differences between the couples they arranged. Which, only speak about the positive side. In addition to persuasion techniques, the match-makers must possess great social skills. They needed to know a network of people so that when the time comes for marriage, they were able to seek the services of the match-makers. Finally, when someone came to the match-maker, she must be able to pick out a matching suitors according to her knowledge of the local residents. Normally a perfect couple must have similar social status, economic status, and age. Wealthy families would look for a bride of similar social status who could manage the family finances and, most importantly, produce sons to inherit the family's wealth. Poor families, on the other hand, will not be as demanding and will only look for a bride who is willing to work hard in the fields. Sometimes they even need to travel to neighboring towns for a match, hence the verse "Traveling to the east household, traveling to the west household, their feet are always busy and their voices are always loud."[16] Furthermore, mediators are required to know some mathematics and simple characters in order to write the matrimonial contract. The contract included "the sum of the bride price, the identity and age of both partners, and the identity of the person who presided over the wedding ceremony, usually the parents or grandparents."[17] Without the knowledge of math and simple written characters, composing such a detailed contract would be impossible.
Even though Muslim women are forbidden to marry non-Muslims in Islamic law, from 1880 to 1949 it was frequently violated in Xinjiang since Chinese men married Muslim Turki (Uyghur) women, a reason suggested by foreigners that it was due to the women being poor, while the Turki women who married Chinese were labelled as whores by the Turki community, these marriages were illegitimate according to Islamic law but the women obtained benefits from marrying Chinese men since the Chinese defended them from Islamic authorities so the women were not subjected to the tax on prostitution and were able to save their income for themselves.[citation needed]
Beside the traditional desire for male children to carry on the family name, this allowance partially resolves a dilemma created by the emperor himself. He had recently banned all non-patrilineal forms of inheritance, while wanting to preserve the proper order in the Chinese kinship. Therefore, a couple without son cannot adopt one from within the extended family. They either have to adopt from outside (which was regarded by many as passing the family wealth to unrelated "outsiders"), or become heirless. The multiple inheritance marriages provided a way out when the husband's brother has a son.
The custom of ruzhui () applied when a relatively wealthy family had no male heirs, while a poorer family had multiple male children. Under these circumstances, a male from the poorer family, generally a younger sibling, will marry into the wealthier family in order to continue their family line. In a ruzhui (lit., 'the [man] becoming superfluous') marriage, the children will take on the surname of the wife.[36]
Despite Mones's clear reverence for Chinese culture, no one in A Cup of Light seems concerned with what seems to me a central issue -- the morality of taking national treasures out of their country of origin. The author's strength lies in her sense of place and history. And there are lovely passages when Lia examines her pots: "It was a feeling more than anything else, but it was sure and deep and ran like a stream of light all through her: The cup was right. The porcelain had that vanilla-toned, off-white warmth that came from the clay used during the Chenghua reign, never dead white, always soft, alive."
But if no one stays pure at heart, almost no one is completely corrupted either. Odd flashes of kindness illumine this sad landscape, often coming from its unlikeliest denizens. These gestures are, just as often, suddenly withdrawn. In the end, Hyun Jin not only escapes the quicksand that engulfs her friends, she maintains a redemptive capacity for love.
In the early '90s, June and her husband, Ethan, move to Bulgaria so that he can conduct research on the transition to capitalism. June suffers immediate culture shock, trying to adjust to the gray misery of daily life in Sofia, missing her California lifestyle: yoga classes, functional appliances, cappuccino and light, bright clothing. The couple's marriage founders. Ethan falls in love with Nevena, a Bulgarian woman who works as a maid; June begins an affair with a handsome mafia profiteer, Chavdar.
When five years have elapsed, he called me. He flew to Moscow and asked me out. I didn't know why, but I decided to receive an invitation. It was love at second sight. In 3 months he made an offer of marriage. My parents were against it, but I said: "yes". Life isn't an easy thing, everybody can make a mistake. I really hope that the biggest mistakes remained in our student days.
I fell in love at first sight in a bus going to Madrid from my parents' home. I was travelling to the city where I was studying and she was living. She travelled with an aunt and I was travelling alone.
Her aunt proposed her to go out because she didnt know anybody.
I have fallen in love so many times. It started when I was ten. We were studied in the same school. And that was very romantic relationship, but it was not long. We divided during summer vacations, when I changed school. So we never met again. From that time I felt in love a lot of times. But the first "right woman" as I thought I met in 2011 and we married. But something went wrong, and we drifted apart. After two years of marriage we divorced. She found a new admirer and went to him. It was hard forme at the beginning, but life is going on. Two years later I met another "right woman" as I think. We are living together and I want to marry her soon.
I haven't had large experience of fallen in love. But I have one with happy ending. It wasn't love with a first sight. We have known each other for more than half of our lives, because we have growing together in the country. It is very difficult to understand and realize from the side how difficult and how many barriers were beside us to become together, so the price of our unity is more higher than it even could be. At the moment as I am writing this letter to you, my wife is feeding our new born child. So it is the best result that ever could be. I wish everyone to finish up your real love for victory, despite troubles, that are the best things to strength your couple.
Sadly I Just broke up with my girlfriend.This's a long story.We love each other very much and she is my soulmate. We had the most happiness time in our life. But I had a marriage 4 years ago I have a daughter. My ex-girlfriend said she could not stop the bad feeling when I went to see my daughter on weekends.She said she can't face this situation,we have argued for many times for this reason. I could understand what she feltbut i can't stop seeing my daughter . I thought I could't have a cake and eat it. I'm exhausted .So I gave up ,just let her go.Whatever I wish her all the best. ff782bc1db
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