Why does it matter whether you believe a thought or let it go? We have habitual patterns of thinking that lead to habitual behaviours and emotions. Have you ever started the day on a high filled with gratitude and contentment, and somehow, you're feeling frustrated and resentful by lunchtime? Why?
You feel what you think about but, more importantly, whether or not you believe the thoughts. Below is Dr David Hawkin's Scale of Consciousness. I like the term from Coach Jason Goldberg, The Ladder of Leadership.
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Let's say your boss calls you into a meeting, and you think you'll get reprimanded; you will fall to the bottom of the ladder into fear. If you believe you must have been recognised for your great work, you're sitting in courage and enthusiasm.
Byron Katie teaches that all lower-level states are caused by uninvestigated thinking. Stop and question the thought using her Enquiry process when you find yourself triggered. It is comprised of four questions:
If you believe the thought that you're never allowed to take a sick day even if you are beyond ill, it creates feelings of being trapped, claustrophobic and fearful. When you drop that thought and no longer feel the need to keep it, you are instantly free, more relaxed and kinder to yourself.
As an example, you may have been reading the news online. Another headline warns of a possible recession. For the first time, you have the thought that you might lose your job if a recession hits. It worries you enough, that you start to think about it whenever you hear more news about a possible recession.
Why do I believe this? Why are my feelings so strong?
What if I believed something different? What would change?
What story am I telling myself about this person or situation? How do I know that story is true? What other stories could also be true?
What assumptions am I making?
What would happen if I just let this thought/feeling go and it never crossed my mind again?
Is this how I really feel or is my ego getting in the way?
Why am I being judgmental?
Depression has a major impact on almost every aspect of your health and well-being, including your thinking. If you can recognize that your thoughts are negative, you can change them. With time and practice, your thoughts can become positive and you will feel better. When you feel better, life is better.
The average person thinks between 50,000-70,000 thoughts per day. These thoughts range from the mundane -- I need to buy milk, to the significant -- I love you, to the self-destructive -- I'm not good enough. In the moment, our thinking seems logical. But when we examine long patterns of brain activity, it's clear that thoughts can be unstable and often arbitrary, shifting depending on context and contradicting our better instincts. Yet humans usually form our personal identities around the things we think. The result is a scattered sense of self that drifts as the wind blows.
But you are not your thoughts. You are the consciousness (the ocean) from which your thoughts (the waves) arise. The human capacity to think (while great in comparison to other living creatures) is incredibly susceptible to error. Cognitive bias, false assumptions, misinformation, Ego and limited beliefs are just a few patterns of unhealthy thought that interfere with our judgement.
Instead of reacting to everything that you think, become an unbiased observer of your thoughts. When bad thoughts arise, say, "It's interesting that I think that." When good thoughts arise, say, "It's interesting that I think that." As an unbiased observer of your thoughts, you remain in control and non-reactionary. Don't identify with the waves. Be the ocean: still, unmoving.
Meditation isn't just for monks or gurus. Businesses executives, entrepreneurs and artists are using mindful nonthinking to achieve higher levels of creativity and success. Twenty minutes of meditation each day helps other aspects of your life and business fall into place. Leaving the house without meditating is like leaving the house without shoes or your iPhone, only worse.
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Imagine you lost everything in your life : your relatives, your friends, your job, your house, even your body : everything! You are nothing now. To get the things back, you have to ask a deity ( whatever it means to you ) and justify why you need those things. List five things . Here are mine :
And the list goes on... Even with 100 items you will conclude you have all you need right in front of you but just don't see it when you are angry or sad. Your feelings and thoughts often deceive you. I cried so hard when I first did this exercise because I did over 60 items and none of them included money or everything we think we need, but are not priorities.
Instead we have the power to believe that things can and will work out. We have the ability to believe in our beauty, intelligence, strength, drive, and potential. We can rally ourselves to a brighter outlook knowing that what we believed in the past is wrong.
Another more contemporary belief relates to the burden and severity of hypertension in African Americans. It is well-known that African Americans have a high prevalence of hypertension (41% compared with 28% in non-Hispanic Whites); hypertension starts at much earlier ages; it is considered more difficult to control; and it is more frequently complicated by target organ damage and premature death.5 Consistent with this narrative, long-standing suboptimal blood pressure control in African Americans is common, even in the presence of a history of cardiovascular disease or multiple cardiovascular risk factors. Not surprisingly, hypertension-related mortality in non-Hispanic Black men is nearly three-fold the rate seen in non-Hispanic White and Hispanic men; and in Black women, the disparity in mortality rate exceeds two-fold that of non-Hispanic White women. Given these observations, it is not surprising that some physicians believed or questioned whether hypertension in African Americans may be a different disease.6,7
Overthinking is a toxic behavioral pattern for relationships, and chances are you already have a first-hand experience of that. Most of the time, a simple unanswered call or text can trigger a spiral or ruminations and dreadful scenarios that leave you emotionally and physically drained. Experts agree that one of the most common triggers for overthinking patterns is insecurity, which can lead to anxiety and depression.
Are you an overthinker? You're not alone! In a world full of deadlines, and technology, and constant stress, anxiety sometimes feels inevitable. But what if you learned to ride the wave of anxiety, instead of getting lost in it? Get Out of My Head is here to help, providing guidance and inspiration for anxious overthinkers of all sorts. This compact, illustrated book offers soothing techniques for understanding anxiety and moving through the traps of overthinking.
Over the past few years, Brianna Wiest has gained renown for her deeply moving, philosophical writing. This new compilation of her published work features pieces on why you should pursue purpose over passion, embrace negative thinking, see the wisdom in daily routine, and become aware of the cognitive biases that are creating the way you see your life. Some of these pieces have never been seen; others have been read by millions of people around the world. Regardless, each will leave you thinking: This idea changed my life.
We are what we think. Our minds are incredibly powerful, as are the belief systems that drive our thinking. This can be both a blessing and a curse, depending on how we harness this power and where we choose to put our energy and focus.
False equivalence by word of mouth. I had a trip in Austin Texas a few years ago and multiple people repeated one of two things to me. Austin has more live music than anywhere in the world and Austin is like Berkeley. I lived in Nashville Tennessee and found it hard to believe with all the music venues and recording studios that Austin had more live music than any place in the world. Upon my arrival for a one week stay, I found neither are statement true. Which is fine except when I disagreed and ask for a point of reference, people were incensed. I lived Berkeley adjacent in Oakland California for 7 years and in the Bay Area, within 20 miles of Berkeley for 29 years. They are not alike and as for the live music:
What is a mediator to do? Mediators employ a standard set of skills and techniques to assist conflicting parties: listening deeply, surfacing interests, reframing, empathizing, summarizing in ways that integrate different perspectives and encourage forward-looking thinking, to name some. While these fundamental tools can at times help mitigate the effects of cognitive bias, they often seem inadequate in complex, contentious situations. These situations call for first identifying what cognitive biases may be affecting a conflict and then looking for creative application of our existing techniques and approaches or, perhaps, the invention of new strategies to address them.
Younger adults are more likely to say social media have a positive impact on the way things are going in the country and are less likely to believe social media sites have a negative impact compared with older Americans. For instance, 15% of those ages 18 to 29 say social media have a mostly positive effect on the way things are going in the country today, while just 8% of those over age 30 say the same. Americans 18 to 29 are also less likely than those 30 and older to say social media have a mostly negative impact (54% vs. 67%). 2351a5e196
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