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Have you recently been through a divorce or are you right in the middle of it? Breaking the bonds of marriage can be a heavy blow to your emotional well-being. No matter how tough the marriage has become, divorce always brings about an intense session of self questioning and self doubt.

You start to question several things about life in general and about yourself. You start having doubts about your ability to make things last, to carry things out to completion, to nurture relationships with others, and to honor commitments.

This is followed by fears of not being able to enter a committed and lasting relationship again, let alone a marriage.

Divorce really affects people deeply, but effects come in different ways. And people also have different ways of coping with it. In fact, a lot of people even seek professional therapy for it. If you don't think you need that, then at least get some divorce self help. Anyone going through a divorce needs help, even if the help comes from oneself.

1. Healing takes time. Don't force yourself to accept and heal quickly. Healing takes time; for some it takes months, for others years. The important thing is to go at your own pace. Don't compare yourself with other divorcees.Preoccupy yourself. Make sure your time is pretty much occupied. One of the hardest things about dealing with divorce is the change that it brings about. Even if you know for a fact that the problems in the marriage couldn't be solved any other way, losing a constant companion will still make a huge difference in your life. You need to find other things to spend time on so you won't miss the companionship.

Do not harbor negative thoughts from the experience. Most divorcees harbor deep negative thoughts and feelings from the divorce itself. The experience makes them feel unloved or makes them think that there is something wrong with them that makes them difficult to be with. Even as they heal from the divorce, most of them find that these thoughts and negative perception of themselves somehow still linger and may even cause problems in future relationships.

It's one of the hardest things a person can go through. Divorce can be challenging in so very many ways. You may feel like you are suffering emotionally, psychologically, perhaps even spiritually. If it was a particularly ugly break up, the effects can be devastating and take time to overcome. You may be asking yourself the same question that so many others have, "Where do I find help in overcoming a divorce?" It's not easy. It takes time. A person's self-esteem can be negatively impacted and issues pertaining to trust can and often do develop.

Most people marry assuming that they will spend the rest of their lives with their spouse. Learning from your husband or wife that they no longer wish to be married and would prefer a divorce can be devastating. If you are reading this, the odds are you have just recently gone through a divorce and are looking to get over it and move on. You may be dealing with some of the effects we just described. So where do you go from here? How to you overcome a divorce? Well, here are a few brief steps to set you on the path to getting on with your life.

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Allow Time to Heal - As I mentioned, when you marry you assume it is a lifelong commitment. The abrupt ending to that commitment is a painful realization that you have reached the end of those hopes and dreams. The plans that you made together. The family you had hoped to raise. You need to allow time to accept the situation and allow yourself to accept that those dreams will not be coming to fruition.

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Do Not Wall Yourself Off - As you go through this period of allowing time to heal, you may feel as though you want to "shut out" the rest of the world and not be bothered. To throw yourself a type of pity party. That is perfectly natural and actually fairly healthy for a day or two. But it is not a good idea for an extended period of time. Be sure you are communicating with your family and friends and be open to their calls, texts and e-mails. They are only trying to help and, quite frankly, this is the time you need them the most.

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Get Back on the Horse - There will be a point in time where you will feel better about things, I promise. And it is at that point that you will need to get on with your life. Allow for friends to invite you out. Start to become more social again. Just take your time. The last thing you want to do is rush into dating only to find yourself simply crying on someone's shoulder about your recent divorce.

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Men dealing with divorce may feel emotions ranging from helplessness to bitterness. Divorce recovery for men involves identifying their emotions regarding the divorce and overcoming them. It may take some time before you are moving on after divorce. However, it is not hopeless. There is help for men overcoming divorce.

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Men may want to put on a brave face and try to handle things alone after a divorce. That might work, but the going will be much harder than if they seek support. The most important and available support system will be family and friends. With people close to you, you can open up and express how you are feeling.

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Activities help occupy the mind while it is racing with thoughts of divorce. It will not make the suffering go away. However, it will take some of the edge off. Whenever the feelings get overwhelming, participate in activities that you enjoy, do something that will make you feel satisfied, such as a project you have been meaning to do, or go on vacation. Divorce is hard; you deserve a break.

Men, after divorce, might be tempted to call their ex-wife to talk about how they are feeling. Only in the best situations does this work, but most situations are not optimal. What is more likely to happen is disappointment when she is not receptive because of the divorce. Do not beat yourself up like this because things between the two of you might get better later. For now, let things settle.

Another self-destructive habit is to hang out with people who are opinionated about your divorce. Once the divorce is over, there is no need for forceful opinions. Anyone who has anything negative to say that makes you uncomfortable should be told to keep it to him or herself. It is okay to talk and be helpful, but no one should be telling you negative things at this point, even if they mean to help.

Moving on after divorce is going to take some time. You will go through stages that will gradually become easier until you find yourself living without the divorce monkey on your back (and that is one nasty monkey!). You will become happy with who you are as an individual and then maybe you will let romance back into your life. Remember to take your time and be honest with yourself if you are not ready.

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Men after divorce are often bitter, angry, depressed, and confused as to why their once loving marriage fell apart the way it did. Moving on after divorce is not, however, as difficult as it may seem, and requires only a few steps and mindset changes to help you on your way. These simple steps will help you to cope with anger after divorce and help you to move on to the next chapter of your life.

Bitterness and anger after divorce usually is directed towards the other party, who may have been responsible for the failing of the marriage, or may be directed towards yourself if you feel you are the culprit of the failed marriage's faults. If your anger and bitterness is directed towards your ex partner, forgiveness is the key to overcoming this anger. Although your ex partner may have been the source of all that was wrong with your marriage, it is important to understand that because of the failing of the marriage, it was not ideal to begin with, and you are now better off to find someone you are more compatible with. If the anger and bitterness you are experiencing is directed towards yourself, you can find solace in the same explanations that can be given to the former culprit. That is, that the marriage itself was not ideal to begin with, and you are thus better off finding a new person to share a life commitment with.

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Sometimes it can be hard to forgive your ex partner if they often lied, cheated, or stole from you. The sometimes unfortunate reality is that you must forgive them in order to move on with your life. Forgiveness may take years, but it is absolutely necessary for moving on after divorce. Forgiveness is easier if you can imagine both yourself and your ex partner being able to live happily independent of each other with new lives and new people and lovers. The transition out of divorce may be much easier if you have some close friends to talk to for support. It also may help to get of your house and go meet new people, perhaps even have a fling or two. These connections with new people will help you to feel energized and alive once more, and will expose you to the reality of finding a new partner if you so desire one. If you were happily married once before, you can likely find a new partnership that will be even more rewarding (and not result in a divorce) as your previous one.

Picture the perfect dress, the perfect ring, the perfect little chapel. A perfect combination for marital bliss, right? Well, this is the dream of most couples and most people. Unfortunately the reality behind all the perfection is that once the dress is in the closet, the ring becomes an everyday fixture on your left hand, and the chapel doors are closed, you have to learn to relate to your not so perfect spouse, and recognize that you yourself are not so perfect as well.

Studies show that over 50% of marriages in America end up in divorce, and 50% of current marriages are projected to end up in divorce if this trend continues. People that marry for the second and third time after divorces have even higher rates of going down the same path. So how do you recover from divorce, after your picture perfect dream turns into a nightmare? Here are three ways to help you cope with disappointment of a failed marriage.

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Surround yourself with supportive friends and family. This may include joining a support/divorce recovery group at your church or simply spending time with friends that are truly supportive of you. One of the most difficult emotions to deal with after a broken relationship is loneliness. People tend to want to be around those that will join in on bashing their ex but I would advise you to be careful with constantly focusing on your ex husband or wife. Spend time with people that bring out the best in you and encourage you to become better and not bitter. You should identify people who recognize your gifts and highlight them with encouraging words.

Focus on self care/self improvement. For many people this is a no brainer because most people start losing weight and improving their physical appearance to spite their ex, but I am talking about self improvement to help you become better all around. During difficult times people often rely on their spiritual beliefs or faith. I encourage divorcees to tap into prayer and establish daily devotional time. I also encourage divorcees to start and exercise program. Exercise helps combat depression and increases self esteem once you start to see results. Now as you are making these self improvements, keep in mind that you are doing this for YOU.

The third coping skill is to allow yourself time to grieve. This is not the time to rush into another relationship, only to drag your heavy baggage into the next person's life. Even if you absolutely wanted your marriage to end, understand that there will still be a grieving process. You may feel that getting this person out of your life was the best decision you ever made, but you may find that you struggle with emotional hardship due to feelings of failure or diminished dreams. It's okay to allow yourself to experience these feelings. I suggest processing these emotions with a counselor. If you have children you should talk with them about their feelings as well and consider counseling for the children individually and as a family.

This is probably the last thing you want to hear right now, but here goes - work on your relationships! When it comes to divorce advice for men it's essential to make and solidify real, honest connections. Consider all your interpersonal relationships, not just the one that has crashed and burned.

Your own friends and family can be a lifeline. Use them as a way to get out and be social because they are your Relationship Ringers, your go-to group. While you obviously can't act as if the divorce never happened, don't dwell on it or your ex in your conversations because you need to draft on the positive energy of people outside of the situation. In dealings with friends you shared with your ex it's okay to say that you want to avoid marriage post-mortems because they are too painful. You're not in denial, you're moving on after divorce.

Work to make your new relationship with your ex-wife positive, or at least neutral. This is vital if you have children, but actually important for all men after divorce. The goal is a lasting peace. Rather than looking backward and defending past actions, think in terms of the here and now and of how today's actions come across. Listen more and smile more, not because it will mess with her head but because it will help realign yours. Measure your responses.

Your relationship with work may expand if it brings you a sense of affirmation. You may also benefit from getting more involved in your children's schools, your church or charitable organizations. These can all give you new purpose and perspective. But be careful of going overboard. There is a tendency to be all or nothing, manically keeping busy to avoid time to think or shutting down and doing nothing but ruminate.

And ultimately, overcoming divorce for men involves working on your relationship with yourself. If this sounds too touchy-feely, think of it as manning up with the man in the mirror. Take a cold, hard assessment. Have you used alcohol or drugs or other women to fill the void? Are you experiencing an unlifting depression that should be treated? Maybe you could devote some free time in your day to exercise as a way to reduce stress and literally start rebuilding your body and your mind. The more you slow down physically the more your body is less able to deal with emotional turmoil as well due to lack of seratonin, endorphins, and other brain chemicals that balance your mood.

Any divorce comprises mixed feelings of betrayal, despair, anger and you cannot stop the grief out of these emotions. One poet metaphorically and sarcastically says "however much clouds rain, sky does not get wet. Similarly, when your heart is in grief, no amount of words can console it". He means that grief is a part of human life and we cannot run away from it.

You must accept that life is a combination of happiness and grief and this cycle always continue as long as humans exist. But you can choose to rise from grief and bring happiness into your life again by working hard and with the help of friends and family. Keep your faith in god and accept your situation in life and then forgive your spouse if there had been any mistake on his part. You will find that your soul will come to rest as soon as you forgive the person although he/she is the one responsible for the present condition and the reason maybe anything.

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Since you are about to leave him, forgive and forget him so that you will not be disturbed mentally by him again. If you feel like crying, do not stop your tears and cry as much as you want because it does more good by cleaning your eyes and relieving you of a chunk of emotional stress. Revise your memories that are pleasant in your life before you were married.

Spend more time with your friends and family discussing your situation which could take another chunk of stress off your mind. Keep yourself busy with work and hobbies that you like most. While in grief, it is difficult to think properly and you may feel that it is not possible to find another relationship which is not true. Do not distance yourself from your kids and take care of them with love and affection which is good not only for them but also for you which can act as a healing therapy.

Before, infidelity seems to be the only reason why divorce or marriage separation happens. But with the changing times, it seems that turning your back away from your marriage vows can be caused by so many factors that nobody can even tell exactly why such things happen. Nevertheless, whatever the reasons are, you need to know what to do when it happens.

In many countries like the United States, divorce is considered as one way of terminating the marriage legally. However, laws may vary depending on the rules mandated by each state. That is why it is important to seek help from legal experts whose expertise are founded on a specific state.

Since the law may vary on each state, the actual filing and process of divorce may vary, from simple to complex. Most people may find this type of procedure stressful and complicated, not to mention the emotional burden it brings to an individual. And because there's nothing we can do about the existing laws on each state, a person involved in the case should, instead, find ways on how to cope up with the situation and deal with the problem more pleasantly.

You don't have to feel sorry for yourself and end up being a loser all your life. It may seem the end of the world for you, but once analyzed and understood you would be glad it happened. At least, it provided you some time to grow and redevelop yourself. What you need now is to learn how to cope up. Here's how:

1. Start to feel good about yourself

How can you do this? Start with the things that you were deprived of when you were married. Change your routines. Go back to your old ways, those that you enjoyed doing the most. At least, through these things you will feel happy about yourself.

2. Redevelop yourself

Find time reminiscing the past, understanding what went through, and realizing things that happened. Some things are nice to remember, while others are best kept in the past. Once considered, you will have the chance of redeveloping yourself, changing what you think has not been good. The important thing here is to find yourself and know what you are capable of doing as an individual.

3. Go out and social

Forget about the past. It is time to move on. Make the most out of your life for you will never have the chance to revert back to the old times once it has passed by. It is time for you to go back to your social world. If you have children, it is best that you devote more hours of bonding and quality time with them. Try to maintain a harmonious form of communication with them. Nothing beats a stronger bond brought about by the challenges that passed through the family's lives.

Try to get in touch with friends that you have not talked to for the past few months. The main point here is that you have to set yourself out in the open to relieve you from anxiety and stress brought about by being alone.

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4. Be open for compromise

Some individuals try to hold on to their marriage by not agreeing to amicable settlements on the division of property. Whether intentional or not, most people will not give in to what has been proposed by the court just so they could still argue and have their side on a better edge.

What matters most here is the point of letting go. Don't hold on to grudges. If the court decides on a certain amicable agreement on dividing properties or the monetary equivalent of those properties, then it is best to believe that the court has done a fair decision on this. Keep in mind that certain laws on each state are embedded on the rules regarding division of properties. So it is best that you know those things.

Boiled down, divorce may seem such a negative thought and may even be considered the greatest form of predicament any married couple could ever experience, but that is still reality. The only thing you can do in the end is to learn how to outlive the situation and surpass all the trials.

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The end of a marriage brings about a whole gamut of strong emotions and big changes in your life. Given that there are often huge transitions to be made in your ideals and vision for your life, living arrangements, time with kids, impact on relationships with mutual friends and family members, and financial status, it is not surprising that many people struggle with symptoms of depression during this time.

Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities, feelings of persistent sadness or hopelessness, anxieties about the future, and changes in sleep or appetite can all indicate depression. If the symptoms are severe, this may merit a medical intervention, but natural methods can often be employed successfully for milder cases.

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