My knowledge of YouTube "London Bridge Is Falling Down" music videos is both unrivaled and unfortunate. I have watched at least 25 versions a combined total of at least 1,000 times. I could blame my kids for choosing the same bedtime songs every night. Actually, I do blame them. They're the reason I can tell you which versions of London Bridge have goofy sound effects, which have nasal vocals, which have flying pigs, which have animation lacking any sense of proportion, which have pleasing instrumentation, and which have cars falling off the bridge (exciting! according to a four-year-old). In other words, I am uniquely qualified to tell you why most London Bridge videos are so terrible.

Here's the plot of most of these videos: "Uh, My Fair Lady?" "Yes?" [English accent, always.] "London Bridge is falling down." "Oh, is she now? Well run along and build her up again." [Building commences and ends.] "My Fair Lady?" "What now?" "I'm afraid it's falling down again." "Oh, bother."

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But that's just it. It's not a bother to My Fair Lady at all. The bridge keeps falling down and getting built up, but My Fair Lady just doesn't care. She carries on. She's completely not bothered, or, in modern parlance, she is unbothered. She doesn't care about the bridge. That means I don't care about the bridge, either. I wonder, "Why are we so caught up in this bridge, anyway, if its falling down brings no consequences?" We shouldn't be caught up. We shouldn't be wasting our time.

I have found exactly one "exciting" London Bridge video, and this is it. Oh, relax. I'm not rambling about this London Bridge video just because. If you understand what makes this London Bridge video work, then you'll know what makes a college application essay work, too.

This video features a robot girl named Springy as My Fair Lady. Springy is building a miniature version of the bridge. When the waves wash away her sand bridge, or the rain washes away her sticks and stones bridge, or the crab wrecks her bricks and mortar bridge, Springy isn't just like, "Whatever." She cries. She suffers. I don't know why she wants so badly to build this bridge, but I can see that not finishing it puts some part of her being at risk. Therefore, I am interested. Springy's London Bridge is a good story because we know she stands to lose something.

I know what some of you are thinking. Some of you are thinking that you're blessed to have lived fairly smooth lives. You haven't overcome illness, poverty, disability, or prejudice. I count myself in this category. Smooth ride so far, counting my blessings, thanking my lucky stars, and invoking other cliches 24-7. But having a smooth life doesn't excuse dull writing. You think the admission officer reading your essay is going to be like, "Oh, that was really boring, but I guess it's totally fine because he's had a nice life, poor guy." I don't think so.

If you can't find the risk in your life, then maybe you're not zoomed in enough on your timeline. We can't just assess the years, the months, the weeks, the days. We have to zoom in on the hours, the minutes, the seconds. To show you what I mean, I will narrate thirty seconds of my life to you.

One evening last December, I was home with my kids. I see my son, age 4, shove my daughter, age 2, to the ground. She is crying but holding her head. I pick up my daughter and ask my son to apologize. He yells, "No!" Then he runs off. I set my daughter down and chase my son to the pantry. Tough breaks for the younger sibling, always. My son stares at me with a look that says he would rather gouge out his own eyes than say he is sorry. I wonder where that comes from. I have a 5-second fuse, and we are past 5 seconds. I kneel down so we are eye to eye. "Say sorry!" I am raising my voice. "I am not going to say sorry!" He raises his voice. "You need to say you're sorry!" Our faces are are six inches apart. I am yelling. Later he will tell me that this scared him, which, well, really isn't that surprising to a calmer me. "No! No! No!" He is yelling. This isn't working. My patience gone, I reach out with my right hand and flick his left ear. Then it's a flash flood of tears. He looks at me as if I'm a stranger. I wish I could take it back. I say, "I'm sorry," and I gather him up in my arms until he stops sniffling. At this point, I don't really know what my daughter is doing. Again, tough breaks for the younger kid. I was sorry less for the physical pain I had caused than for the promise I had broken. Until a couple months earlier, I had flicked my son's ear whenever he shoved his little sister. But one day, after hearing him tell her, "If you don't listen, I'm going to flick your ear," I realized that perhaps this experiment wasn't yielding the results I intended. So I took him aside and told him, "I'm not going to flick your ear anymore. If you do something wrong, you'll have a timeout, or you'll lose privileges." Then, in a storm in the pantry, I cheapened those words with a flick of my finger. If the people I love can't trust what I say, then I've lost everything. I had put that trust at risk. And all this happened in thirty seconds.

Now, you can say what you will about this anecdote, but I want you to notice I didn't try to write about "my relationship with my son." I wrote about thirty seconds. Relationships were, at least in some small sense, at stake. There was risk. There was conflict my son and me. Also, between myself and myself -- which wins out, standing up for my daughter, or keeping my promise to my son? But obviously, in retrospect, there were other options. It was not either-or. In the moment, that insight eluded me.

I have a B.A. in English from Stanford and a J.D. from Harvard, and I've been helping students with their college applications since 2011. Let's take a risk. Write about something uncomfortable. Offer up real you, not perfect you.

"London Bridge Is Falling Down" (also known as "My Fair Lady" or "London Bridge") is a traditional English nursery rhyme and singing game, which is found in different versions all over the world. It deals with the dilapidation of London Bridge and attempts, realistic or fanciful, to repair it. It may date back to bridge-related rhymes and games of the Late Middle Ages, but the earliest records of the rhyme in English are from the 17th century. The lyrics were first printed in close to their modern form in the mid-18th century and became popular, particularly in Britain and the United States, during the 19th century.

The modern melody was first recorded in the late 19th century. It has Roud Folk Song Index number 502. Several explanations have been advanced to explain the meaning of the rhyme and the identity of the "fair lady" of the refrain. The rhyme is well known and has been referenced in a variety of works of literature and popular culture.

The rhyme is constructed of quatrains in trochaic tetrameter catalectic,[3] (each line made up of four metrical feet of two syllables, with the stress falling on the first syllable in a pair; the last foot in the line missing the unstressed syllable), which is common in nursery rhymes.[4] In its most common form it relies on a double repetition, rather than a rhyming scheme, which is a frequently employed device in children's rhymes and stories.[5] The Roud Folk Song Index, which catalogues folk songs and their variations by number, classifies the song as 502.[6]

A melody is recorded for "London Bridge" in an edition of John Playford's The Dancing Master published in 1718, but it differs from the modern tune recorded above and no lyrics were given. An issue of Blackwood's Magazine in 1821 noted the rhyme as being sung to the tune of "Nancy Dawson", now better known as "Nuts in May" and the same tune was given in Richard Thomson's Chronicles of London Bridge (1827).[2]

Another tune was recorded in Samuel Arnold's Juvenile Amusements in 1797. E.F. Rimbault's Nursery Rhymes (1836) has the same first line, but then a different tune.[1] The tune now associated with the rhyme was first recorded in 1879 in the United States in A.H. Rosewig's Illustrated National Songs and Games.[7]

The rhyme is often used in a children's singing game, which exists in a wide variety of forms, with additional verses. Most versions are similar to the actions used in the rhyme "Oranges and Lemons". The most common is that two players hold hands and make an arch with their arms while the others pass through in single file. The "arch" is then lowered at the song's end to "catch" a player. In the United States, it is common for two teams of those that have been caught to engage in a tug of war.[2] In England until the nineteenth century, the song may have been accompanied by a circle dance, but arch games are known to have been common across late medieval Europe.[1]

Five of nine versions published by Alice Gomme in 1894 included references to a prisoner who has stolen a watch and chain. This may be a late 19th century addition from another game called "Hark the Robbers",[8] or "Watch and Chain". This rhyme is sung to the same tune and may be an offshoot of "London Bridge" or the remnant of a distinct game. In one version the first two verses have the lyrics:

Similar rhymes can be found across Europe, pre-dating the records in England. These include "Knippelsbro Gr Op og Ned" from Denmark, "Die Magdeburger Brck" from Germany, "Pont chus" from 16th-century France, and "Le porte" from 14th-century Italy. It is possible that the rhyme was acquired from one of these sources and then adapted to fit the most famous bridge in England.[2]

One of the earliest references to the rhyme in English is in the comedy The London Chaunticleres, printed in 1657, but probably written about 1636,[9] in which the dairy woman Curds states that she had "danced the building of London-Bridge" at the Whitsun Ales in her youth, although no words or actions are mentioned.[1] Widespread familiarity with the rhyme is suggested by its use by Henry Carey in his satire Namby Pamby (1725), as: 152ee80cbc

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