Flats and Other Short Puzzles
These are the flats (verse puzzles) and other short-form puzzles that I have had published in The Enigma, the monthly newsletter of the National Puzzlers League. The NPL website also has this Guide to explain what is sought in the various types of flats appearing below.
In the puzzle world I go by the pseudonym Tinhorn, for reasons explained here.
1. DELETION (8)
Our new ophthalmologist
Once was a farmer
And hasn't quite dropped that career.
MOST surgery's capped by a
Gritty MOIST poultice;
You'll leave with an eyeful of ear.
Solution (highlight to view): cornmeal, corneal
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2. PROGRESSIVE REVERSED TERMINAL DELETION (7)
Trademarks surround us
And sometimes they're mythical
Characters drawn from ages past
Like Nike for sneakers, and
Most drivers know of a
Company's NEXT of *FIRST for LAST.
Solution (highlight to view): Pegasus, usage, gas
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3. REVERSED TERMINAL DELETION (7)
Our writer friend is seldom stressed.
He always seems refreshed because
He has a SPINE to give him rest
And has a NIP to give him pause.
Solution (highlight to view): hammock, comma
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4. BEHEADMENT (9)
This high school teacher will cut slack
For poorly written doggerel,
But Student X might be held back
And that just does not augur well,
For Student X is bad indeed,
With verse he's proud he overdid.
I've served my three, I will not read
This VERBID one more OVERBID.
Solution (highlight to view): trimester, rimester
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5. OVERLOADED BIGRAM CURTAILMENT (4 6, 8)
For a cool summer citrus libation
To refresh during meals or vacation,
Take club soda, juice, gin,
And mix sugar right in.
I hope you enjoy this CREATION!
Solution (highlight to view): lime rickey, limerick
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6. REVERSED TERMINAL BIGRAM DELETION (10)
CONSONANTCY (9, 9)
The creamy WORD was tasty
But a little late we learned
That it had been left out too long.
Our stomachs now have turned.
The news was quite unsettling
And it had us in the dumps.
We feared we'd spend all weekend long
With bellies full of pumps.
Our sadness was abated
By some internet advice.
Imagine our APERITIF --
A TIRE will suffice!
The cure arrived by plane in hours
And worked (don't be a cynic).
Ironic, though, that it was WIRED
From the Mayo Clinic.
Solution (highlight to view): excitement, emetic; remoulade, airmailed
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7. TRANSPOSAL (11)
I have a ghostly girlfriend.
We've ethereal relations.
The fact, though, that she's ASTER
Clearly RATES these situations.
Solution (highlight to view): ectoplasmic, complicates
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8. LETTER BANK (*6, 11)
The other day in algebra
We studied SUBTLE theory.
Or rather others did, I think;
The groups just made me weary.
And so I crossed the highway
To the church, for something sensible
But all I heard was TUBELESS,
Equally incomprehensible.
Solution (highlight to view): Galois, glossolalia
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9. REBUS (5-8 5 8 5 2 1 5 2 *6)
(5-8, 8 = not MW)
EGAAGGCGGESPTLSBOGFLUA
When it comes to playing Scrabble
I am just a fair beginner.
Years ago, though, at a foreign
Match I nearly was the winner.
There we were, the last two left;
'Twas Africa, the western part.
Nervous as I drew my letters;
Used all seven. What a start!
Somehow on my second turn, I
Chanced again to clear my rack.
Thoughts of maybe being champion
Sent chills up and down my back.
Luck, though, cannot last forever,
And regression to the mean is
Foreordained, so my opponent
Triumphed with her greater keenness.
Nowadays, with work and family
(And the NPL!) entreating,
Scrabble time is hard to come by,
Lest I give up sleep or eating.
Yet, last week, a lucky draw of
Tiles and a friendly layout
Coincided and allowed me
Providentially to play out
"Quincunx" for a triple-triple,
Bringing those familiar shivers.
When I scan my Scrabble record
I've had nothing quite so QUIVERS.
Solution (highlight to view):
spine-tingling since bingoing twice in a final in Guinea
[SP in ET, in GL, in GS, in ce B, in GO, in G twice, in AF, in AL, in GU, in EA]
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10. REVERSED BIGRAM DELETION (3-6, 7)
Hi there, Sue. I see you're wearing
Quite the PINUPS. Ooh, how daring!
That'll surely swivel each
Guy's head all up and down the beach.
But wait, it's got a glaring rip,
So hopefully you have the SNIP.
Solution (highlight to view): two-piecer, receipt
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11. REVERSED REPEATED DELETION (9, 7)
Hinkally-Brinkally
George Stephanopoulos
Once only guested but
These days he NINE,
Bringing us bulletins
Geopolitical;
Was an unknown but now
SEVEN's in line.
Solution (highlight to view): moderates, stardom
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12. THIRD SOUND CHANGE (7, 8)
Turkey jerky.
Tasty treat.
Cross of bird and
Salty meat.
Have you tried the
Latest twist?
CUBAN CUMIN
Can't be missed.
Solution (highlight to view): pelican, pemmican
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13. TRANSPOSAL (9 4, 5 8)
To our friend's wedding we did go,
Then to the after-party, though
The lengthy OHM was much too slow
Because of unsound traffic flow.
A redesign by Uncle Joe
By moving people to and fro
Relieved the bottleneck. Bravo!
Good thing that he's an HMO.
Solution (highlight to view): receiving line, civil engineer
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14. LETTER BANK (9, 8 7) (8 7 = not MW)
PHONETIC METATHESIS (4, 7)
Wanting something more impressive
Lisa went to Dr. Gray.
Known for being quite aggressive
He made her a bit outre.
Men (and women), Lisa learned,
Would stare a lot her physique,
So Lisa had her gifts returned
And lived that way about a week.
Then, though, Lisa missed the stares,
So she asked Dr. Gray to PRIZE.
Now she proudly flaunts her wares
And basks in gifts of clothes from guys.
But not just street clothes. No, they get her
Lavish and immodest ZIPPER.
As she says, "The less, the better,"
Wearing just a PITCHER CHIPPER.
Solution (highlight to view): reimplant, intimate apparel; tiny, nightie
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15. PASTEOVER (7)
My wife maintains an iPod that's
Replete with tunes from TV shows
To match her moods. For buying hats,
The theme from Lidsville, I suppose;
Or Josie and the Pussycats
For times when she is BOXES BOSE.
(this was the introduction of a new flat type, the Pasteover, to the Enigma in Nov 2005)
Solution (highlight to view): feeling, feline
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16. PALINDROME DELETION (7)
The shuttle, they say, uses tiles of ceramic
To guard against heat when returning.
They look rather massive; the BURG used to make them,
I'd wager, weighed more than a BURNING.
Solution (highlight to view): kiloton, kiln
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17. LETTER BANK (8, 13)
We're landing a rover on Venus.
To do this we need quiet weather
And thus we check both anemometers
And couple the data together.
But once in a while this fails us,
And yes, this is one of those days,
For one reads "dead calm" and one "E-MAILS,"
Presenting us quite a MALAISE.
Solution (highlight to view): tornadic, contradiction
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18. TERMINAL BIGRAM DELETION (10)
Rickety Rockety
Captain Chuck Yeager's known
As the first RAY to fly
In a SPRAYED bird;
Zipping along at such
Hypervelocity,
When he said: "There it is!"
Nobody heard.
Solution (highlight to view): supersonic, person
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19. PHONETIC TRANSPOGRAM (5, 4 3) (GERMANE = 5)
Do you have Vulcan flu? A stiff neck?
McCoy can fix that in a sec.
There's no magic wand or mystique,
It's all GERMANE MANGER technique.
Solution (highlight to view): basic, sick bay
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20. CONSONANTCY (8, 9) (HOOD = 8)
PALINDROME DELETION (9, 5)
When cataloguing space debris,
Jerome's a bit obsessive. He
Spied forty thousand HOODs AHEAD;
The next will be his FLEECED this FLED.
Solution (highlight to view): asteroid, yesterday; millionth, month
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21. ENIGMATIC REBUS (^5 ^7)
Ana kin
I do not know what's wrong with me.
Perhaps it's my dexterity.
I zip my base both left and right
And laser blast with all my might.
I heed the well-known precept that
States "Aim ahead, not where they're at."
At times, to limit what's revealed
I shoot a hole through my own shield.
The foes, though, sidestep, drop, reverse;
And clearing rows just makes it worse.
However many times I try
I just can't get that final GUY.
Solution (highlight to view): Space Invader [space in Vader]
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22. PHONETIC TRANSDELETION (5 4, 6, 6, 5)
I had a rare A sandwich at
This quaint new B called Europe Bites.
They D of decor that is flashy,
Literally -- they use C lights.
Solution (highlight to view): roast beef, bistro, strobe, boast
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23. REVERSED THIRD-SOUND CHANGE (6, 5)
Have at this flat, a good time, and a seat.
Ah yes, ADVANCE never fails to RETREAT.
Solution (highlight to view): zeugma, amuse
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24. DELETION (7)
A family doctor is my dad;
An IP lawyer I, his lad.
He spends his days inspecting FREEs
And I spend mine inspecting FEEs.
Solution (highlight to view): patient, patent
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25. PHONETIC TERMINAL DELETION (7, 4)
One's family tree will display
Significant B about A.
Solution (highlight to view): kinfolk, info
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26. REPEATED-SOUND CHANGE (6, 7) (SISTINE = 6)
Jest just enough and they'll call you SISTINE,
But jest way too much and they'll call you "FIFTEEN."
Solution (highlight to view): jocose, jackass
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27. CHANGE OF HEART (4, *9, 5, *3 *5) (*9, *3 *5 = not MW)
Dubya ponders what to snack on;
Chocolate, macadamia charm?
Then the choice is simple, it's
TWO Cookies from that Pepperidge Farm.
Spends less time deciding that
His lawyer would be good for SCOTUS.
But they couldn't THREE the flame wars;
Miers files her withdrawal notice.
After Dubya's mulligan
He nominates a favorite son.
FOUR will soon be getting grilled
Inside a building with a ONE.
(published in December 2005)
Solution (highlight to view): dome, Sausalito, douse, Sam Alito
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28. CONSONANTCY (10, 8) (CERISE = 10)
The so-called "sweet science" might not use a lab,
But some things its fans can CERISE:
The heft of a hook, the jolt of a jab,
The curve of a CRUISE -- all can please.
(cowritten with Panache, as TIN PAN ALLIED)
Solution (highlight to view): appreciate, uppercut
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29. REPEATED BIGRAM DELETION (8) (can be sung)
He walks in each morning cool and slow
And calls the LONGER teacher "Daddy-O."
Charlie Brown, that Charlie Brown.
A schoolhouse clown, that Charlie Brown.
Though some think he's coarse, an idol's what I see.
Chuck'll always be a real SHORTER to me.
(cowritten with Panache, as TIN PAN ALLIED)
Solution (highlight to view): homeroom, hero
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30. REVERSED CHOP 'N' SWAP (7)
At Tin-Pan Arbitration
We settle ONEs and flaps.
We're hailed throughout the nation,
Though sometimes talks collapse.
Last week a client turned bright red
And at a rival flailed.
He smacked his foe right TWO the head.
(With him we fear we failed.)
(cowritten with Panache, as TIN PAN ALLIED)
Solution (highlight to view): dispute, upside
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31. LETTER BANK (8, 16)
LETTER BANK (7, 11)
(BRAKE = 8; 11 = inferable)
Have you heard the story
Of famed Quasimodo?
Well, here is its glory
(Though not quite in toto).
Each morning he'd shower,
Perform other BRAKEs,
Then head to the tower.
He had what it takes
To sound the big bell,
Which he'd done for a while,
And had, so they tell,
A particular style.
The bell had no core,
Nothing swinging within.
So Q'd run full bore
And would strike with his chin.
The Q-Man's rare feats
Drew throngs seeking mirth.
While VENDORs sold seats
For three times their worth.
One day as Q sped
Toward the OVERDONE bell
He chanced to mis-tread.
Off the tower he fell.
The crowd that had burgeoned
To hear Quasi's BREAKER
Then summoned a surgeon,
But Q met his Maker.
Once sadness abated
And took with it shock,
The townsfolk related
The legend for Doc.
"Quasimodo, you claim?"
Doc said after a spell.
"I don't know the name,
But his face rings a bell."
(cowritten with Panache, as PAN'S HORNS)
Solution (highlight to view): ablution, tintinnabulation; scalper, clapperless
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32. WORD DELETION (9)
The party when I turned COMPLETE
Was (to my present knowledge)
The biggest IN that I had ever
OUT (at least till college).
(cowritten with Sanit, as TINSANITY)
Solution (highlight to view): seventeen, event, seen
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33. ENIGMATIC REBUS (5, 6)
A split
"Cheerleaders never need math," Cindy mused,
As all of this algebra left her confused.
Often she'd question, but never improve;
"What's a quadratic?" she CHEERLEADER MOVE.
Solution (highlight to view): asked, addled [A skedaddled]
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34. PHONETIC METATHESIS (9, 7)
If I had much greater abilities
I'd probably write a large tome
That questioned all nations' hostilities.
I'd title it simply "MOWED DOME?"
Solution (highlight to view): wherefore, warfare
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35. ENIGMATIC REBUS (9)
Fox show hot
You ask me, "Is that Fox show hot?" Yeah, you bet!
But religion and sex do not mix (well, not yet),
So it's good we don't live in a SIMPSONS PIQUANT
Or the show might be pulled by the powers puissant.
Solution (highlight to view): theocracy [The O.C. racy]
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36. PALINDROME BEHEADMENT (*3 *7) (AMAZING = not MW)
PALINDROME DELETION (5 6) (BREEZED = not MW)
There's nothing quite like, you will hear us both saying
A nonstandard burger while music is playing.
The burger's not cow on a bun, but instead
It's much more eclectically ZING in a BRED.
The music to complement, only two choices.
One is AMAZING, whose purest of voices
On "Crying" seems just the right balance to us.
Or else try a BREEZED (Ludwig wrote thirty-plus).
(cowritten with Jangler, as TINGLER)
Solution (highlight to view): Roy Orbison, bison; piano sonata, pita
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37. REVERSED PHONETIC TERMINAL DELETION (5-4, 6)
Bill and Bob were best of friends,
A NOMAD pair by all reviews.
They even knew the colors of the
AMMOs of each other's shoes.
Solution (highlight to view): close-knit, insole
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38. REBUS (11)
E&E
I gave my Valentine some chocolate,
Having heard that it contains
Compounds that can cause euphoria
As they course around our brains.
She looked at me with loving eyes;
Her heart, quite clear, all pitter-patter.
"Me, or just the SOL?" I asked.
She answered, "Does it really matter?"
Solution (highlight to view): anandamides [an "and" amid E's]
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39. HEAD-TO-TAIL SHIFT (5) (SANDY = not MW)
The ANDYS of Mandy
And Patti list *SANDY.
Solution (highlight to view): Evita, vitae
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40. REPEATED-LETTER CHANGE (7)
Buster the Clown notes he's cheap, but not free.
He'll do something OREO for a PREP fee.
Solution (highlight to view): comical, nominal
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41. REPEATED-LETTER DELETION (7)
The outlook wasn't brilliant,
To the Mudville crowd's chagrin.
With Casey down by two whole strokes
Things couldn't have been IN.
And then when Barrows parred 18,
The treacherous par 4,
The home fans knew that Casey had
Just two shots, nothing more.
But Casey stepped up to the tee
And swung with all his soul.
The ball took flight, and rolled, and stopped
Just inches from the hole!
He strolled the fairway to the green
Amid the roared response,
And smiled as he tapped the ball
With boundless nonchalance.
Oh, somewhere in this favored land
The sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere,
And somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing,
And somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Mudville --
Mighty Casey missed an OUT.
Solution (highlight to view): grimmer, gimme
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42. WELDED TRANSPOSAL (5 11)
"Rover's fine, so please don't fret,"
Remarked the reassuring vet.
"But still, we need to check his heart,
So hold him while I get my CHART."
Solution (highlight to view): pooch stethoscope
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43. THIRD-LETTER CHANGE (6)
Hot asked Tin if he could pen
A CHIT-composer flat.
Tin checked out the base and then
Said "Sure, that should be CHAT."
(cowritten with Hot, as HOT TIN ROOF)
Solution (highlight to view): double, doable
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44. FIRST-LETTER CHANGE (6)
When Wonka was set to retire
He sought an admirer to hire.
He chose five at TWEETS
From all of his SWEETS
And Charlie prevailed at the wire.
Solution (highlight to view): random, fandom
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45. OVERLOADED HOMONYM (9, 9) (one is inferable)
Where's the flight attendant now?
I'm sure it's been at least an hour
Since I asked her for some water;
Still no clearance from the tower.
Man, the air is really dry.
This airline travel's just the worst.
And can't I get a Sprite or juice,
Or something cool to slake my thirst?
But no, we linger, tarmac-stuck.
Why won't they let our plane take off?
I guess I'm doomed to sit here and
Just wait in vain for my SMIRNOFF.
Solution (highlight to view): departure, deparcher
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46. SPOONERGRAM (6 5, 7 5) (6 5 = HOLY SEE)
Just look at all these clergymen,
An undisputed HOLY SEE.
But space is tight, and bumping leads
To wrinkles. Look, a SOLELY HE.
Solution (highlight to view): priest cadre, creased padre
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47. PHONETIC METATHESIS (9, 9)
The star RELIEVED performer
Had a tragic, fatal fall.
It looks a lot like suicide;
A note was found, and all.
The author, though, REVEALED the note,
So things are looking down.
We cannot tell if it's from him
Or some demented clown.
Solution (highlight to view): tightrope, typewrote
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48. PHONIGMATIC REBUS [27 64]
I made a break and hit some banks
And pretty soon had pockets padded.
Then the SO LONG stopped behind
The darn five hundred twelve; I'd had it.
Solution (highlight to view):
cue ball ["cube all" -- all numbers have been cubed]
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49. PHONETIC DELETION (9, 7)
Rosin? Yes. Rock stop? Yes.
Music? Of course.
So goes the SAUCE as she
Runs through her SOURCE.
Solution (highlight to view): checklist, cellist
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50. OVERLOADED TRANSPOSAL (12, 6 6)
The quack was peddling glycogen.
He said it cures all ills.
But anyone with half a brain
Would know to shun his SKILLS.
Solution (highlight to view): charlatanism, animal starch
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51. ALTERNADE (*6 ^6)
While flying from L.A. to Vegas,
I looked out and vaguely quipped
To my dear wife, "Why don't we buy
A house down there?" She almost flipped.
"Are you insane? We're TWO the WHOLE
There's nothing here for miles!" she squealed.
I sighed, "My point was ONE in THREE,"
And turned back to my flats, lips sealed.
Solution (highlight to view): Mojave Desert, made, over, jest
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52. ENIGMATIC REBUS (*5 *3) (not MW)
(reading includes NI3 spelling)
bird I fish
WINGS AND FINS
swings and wins.
Solution (highlight to view): Ernie Els [ern, I, eels]
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53. WELDED TRANSPOSAL (5, 7)
Though once pre-med I turned pre-law
(Another of my real-life tales),
So sometime in my junior year
'Twas "SORRY, DAD!" and "Hello, scales!"
Solution (highlight to view): adieu, caducei
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54. PASTEOVER (8, 3 4)
I passed my opponent just points from a win,
When suddenly things took a turn for the worse.
My foe grabbed the score board and threw it at me,
Thus pegging me right in the PIKE -- call a nurse!
It knocked the breath out of me, not a surprise,
But what doesn't kill me just makes me more bright.
And now I know more than before we began:
Don't ever play POKER for money with Dwight.
Solution (highlight to view): cribbage, ribcage
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55. TRANSPOSAL (*7 7, 6 8)
(FLORA = *7 7 = NI2 findable)
(FAUNA = NI3)
When hunting for game birds,
A good rule of thumb
Is hide in some stinkweed
(That's FLORA to some).
The fowl will not sense you;
You'll seem an ephemera
To birds like the FAUNA
(Lophura nycthemera).
I hope you'll agree that
The base words, while rare,
Were too good to skip,
So I gave them some air.
Now go have a cold one
Or play some canasta;
I've flattened this base here,
So no one else hasta.
Solution (highlight to view): Thlaspi arvense, silver pheasant
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56. HEART TRANSPLANT (9, 4, 6, 7)
(TWINS = 9)
I need to buy TWINS;
My couch has a TEEN
Because of a slip
From something quite keen.
But that's for the TINS,
I can't buy stuff yet.
My income's been TWEENed;
I'm deeply in debt.
Solution (highlight to view): furniture, gash, future, garnish
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57. DELETION (9)
I'll mount your precious photos with
Exquisite silk filets.
On acid-free TRADE paper they
Will last for countless days.
But even if you don't use me
I simply must entreat --
Don't patronize my TIRADE who
Competes across the street.
Solution (highlight to view): archrival, archival
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58. REPEATED-LETTER DELETION (7, 5)
Those who do not work toward LASE,
Pay with war as their LIAISE.
Solution (highlight to view): penance, peace
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59. LETTER BANK (4 7, *4 *6 *5)
(CUT CORNERS = not MW)
If you need some money
One thing you can do,
Is head to Las Vegas
And try a CONSTRUE.
If gambling is not
An appealing pursuit,
Then marry a rich guy --
The CUT CORNERS route.
Solution (highlight to view): slot machine, Anna Nicole Smith
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60. REPEATED-LETTER DELETION (11, 8) (8 = NI3)
I just tried a sandpiper sandwich,
The flavor was truly a treat.
The texture, however, was awful;
I don't like the BELLE of BEE meat.
Solution (highlight to view): stringiness, tringine
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61. PADLOCK (5, 9; 6)
A nice filet,
Some hot Earl Grey.
The grill is busted?
ANDY rusted?
With a sigh,
I guess I'll HY
For minute HAND
And Lipton, canned.
Solution (highlight to view): steak, teakettle; settle
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62. ENIGMATIC REBUS [7 6]
(reading includes non-MW material)
CZYSVON
Veruca Salt
Was CHOCOLATE MALT --
Her parents' fault.
Solution (highlight to view): spoiled rotten
[SPOILED ROT-10] [ROT-10 = code that shifts letters forward 10 spaces]
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63. FREEWHEELING LETTER BANK (9-6, ^3 ^10 2 ^5 ^7, ^11 2 ^6 ^4)
(9-6 = 11C inferable, more or less; others not MW)
Most modern writers fill their works
With sentences quite incomplete.
I'm fine with one, but two or more
Will scare me whiter than a sheet.
For anyone who's BANK like me,
I recommend a classic taste.
You can't go wrong with Wilde or Proust,
So pick up ONE or TWO posthaste.
Solution (highlight to view):
fragments-phobic
The Importance of Being Earnest
Remembrance of Things Past
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64. WELDED TRANSPOSAL (9 5)
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Will we confront some high tribunal's looks,
Defending earthly deeds at some EMBROIL?
(Apologies, perhaps, to Albert Brooks.)
Solution (highlight to view): afterlife trial
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65. PHONETIC PHRASE SHIFT (4 4)
Playing golf with Bueller's teacher,
I was out in 33.
That was surely the MAIN FEATURE
That I ever had. Yippee!
Solution (highlight to view): best nine [a la Ben Stein]
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66. REVERSED REPEATED-LETTER DELETION (8, 5)
To leap Marty forward by tons,
Doc Brown knew he needed big guns.
Good thing he was TWO
That lightning'd come through
With point-oh-oh-one-two-one ONEs.
Solution (highlight to view): terawatt, aware
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67. CHOP 'N' SWAP (7)
My neighbor's skilled at simple jobs,
Though quite impatient, too.
He's not above exchanging tools
To help him zip right through.
To cut a pipe he starts out fine,
Without much fuss or clamor,
But if his SYSTEM proves too slow
He STEMS it with a hammer.
Solution (highlight to view): hacksaw, whacks
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68. FIRST-LETTER CHANGE (5)
The flop came down ace, seven, three,
And the neophyte bristled with glee.
He pushed in his stack,
But his JACK was too HACK,
So the expert said "fold" and not "see."
(cowritten with En, as Tinhen, at the 2006 NPL Convention)
Solution (highlight to view): wager, eager
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69. BACKSWITCH (5)
A very bohemian farmer
Was building a scarecrow for fun.
He thought it would hang in the MoMA,
And never outside in the sun.
He used avant-garde things to make it
To further his FORWARD design.
He dressed it with costumes from Wicked
And stuffed it with scripts, not REWIND.
(cowritten with Jennifer, as Tinnifer, at the 2006 NPL Convention)
Solution (highlight to view): artsy, straw
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70. PHONETIC CHOP 'N' SWAP (8, 6)
While hiking through the German Alps,
I stopped and set my SEASICK down.
Some rotten SIX appeared and stole it.
Gearless, I returned to town.
Solution (highlight to view): rucksack, crooks
______________________________________________________
71. PADLOCK (9, 7; 4)
I have had it with my dentist.
My respect for him is null.
He pokes round my buccal RIGHT SIDE
While his instruments are dull.
You would think he'd know to LOCK them.
His diploma is a crock.
He does not deserve a LEFT SIDE;
It's a farce to call him "Doc."
Solution (highlight to view): honorific, orifice; hone
______________________________________________________
72. FIRST-SOUND CHANGE (7, 7)
I've MINCEd a few hints
So this flat is not CHINTZ.
Solution (highlight to view): include, unclued
______________________________________________________
73. ENIGMA (*10)
To muchos I have brought great glee.
I've been around the world, you see.
Place just one letter after me
To manifest containers three.
Solution (highlight to view): Cantinflas [can/tin/flas(k)]
______________________________________________________
74. REBUS (^11) (not MW usage)
EME p
He got the desk job; then, with flair,
He bought his girl a solitaire
So they could finally start their life of bliss.
But soon their plans would all explode;
The ring on eBay they'd unload.
For he'd get himself fired — too much THIS.
Solution (highlight to view): Minesweeper [M in Es, wee Pe r(ight)]
______________________________________________________
75. PHONETIC CURTAILMENT (4 4, 7)
I like my eggs TROUSSEAU.
They come from TRUCE, you know.
Solution (highlight to view): over easy, ovaries
______________________________________________________
76. SECOND-SOUND CHANGE
(6, 3 4) (stress shifts)
Say, would you like to receive Chinese food?
Then HOP in the HYPE-of-the-month club, dude!
Solution (highlight to view): enroll, egg roll
______________________________________________________
77. REVERSED WORD DELETION (8)
The cycle of life.
Soon, in a pond where frogs spawned,
SHELL YOLK become EGGs.
Solution (highlight to view): polliwog, goop, will
______________________________________________________
78. REPEATED-LETTER DELETION (8, 6)
Sin tax can be used to OPEC
People through the means of KOPECK.
Solution (highlight to view): commerce, coerce
______________________________________________________
79. METATHESIS (5)
We face off, head-to-head.
The flop is jack, four, three.
One club, one spade, one red.
Two bullets held by me.
Club ace, heart five come next.
I think I have him beat.
But when he grins and bets,
I FETE he has a FEET.
Solution (highlight to view): educe, deuce
______________________________________________________
80. REPEATED-TRIGRAM DELETION (10, 4)
(10 = inferable, 4 = NI3)
Last night, a jungle shower
Loosed tree sap with its power,
Which coated fauna of three toes or more.
What’s strange about the rain, it
(Though no one can explain it)
Left each and every FOUR-HERE NOT-THE-FOUR.
Solution (highlight to view): unbedaubed, unau
______________________________________________________
81. SECOND-TO-FOURTH CHANGEOVER (7, *7)
(SNOODS = *7 = not MW usage)
Just watch as she dances
Her Twists, Jerks, and SNOODS,
And shakes her, um, SYNODS
(The right term eludes).
Solution (highlight to view): Watusis, whatsis
______________________________________________________
82. REVERSED DELETION (*9, 8)
(GLIB = NI3)
Spices today can be
Purchased in stores.
But once they were money
And might have caused wars.
When England was conquered
In 1066,
Perhaps the GLIB people
Desired BIG sticks?
Solution (highlight to view): Normannic, cinnamon
______________________________________________________
83. REVERSED TERMINAL-LETTER CHANGE (8)
If he were a DOLLAR instead of a mix,
Then *HALLOW might have just one head by the Styx.
Solution (highlight to view): purebred, Cerberus
______________________________________________________
84. WELDED TRANSPOSAL (10 8)
(follow-up to a similarly themed flat)
I coached, well, once upon a time,
The team cut down while in its prime.
But now I find myself, midst gloom,
In charge of ordering their tomb.
I stem my tears and write a check,
As somberly I make this WRECK.
Solution (highlight to view): sepulchral purchase
______________________________________________________
85. TRANSPOSAL WNFR (11, *6 5) (*6 5 = NI3)
Had Kant been a Beaverton botanist . . .
Solution (highlight to view): prolegomena, Oregon Maple
______________________________________________________
86. REVERSED TERMINAL DELETION (*7, *5) (*5 = not MW)
Casper worships Star Trek, so
A bronze of ON was raised in SNOW.
Solution (highlight to view): Wyoming, Nimoy
______________________________________________________
87. WELDED TRANSPOSAL (*5 *5 14) (*5 *5 = not MW)
She got no percentage on Ghostbusters II?
I wonder who handled the ROOM WITH A VIEW.
Solution (highlight to view): Annie Potts representation
______________________________________________________
88. OVERLOADED TERMINAL-SOUND CHANGE (5 5, 8)
(5 5 = not MW)
I drove my little souped-up Ford
(Produced in 1932)
To a Moroccan restaurant.
Oh, how I love that DÉJÀ VU.
Solution (highlight to view): deuce coupe, couscous
______________________________________________________
89. TERMINAL-SOUND CHANGE (7, 8) (7 = SPRUCE)
My mother never seems to learn.
She always tells me where to turn.
Go faster, slower, right-on-red!
My trips with her are full of dread.
Can’t someone cure her? Are docs striving
For a SPRUCE for UPROOT driving?
Solution (highlight to view): vaccine, backseat
______________________________________________________
90. FALSE STEP (6, 6)
Just one false step and, sure enough,
That HIGHER sends me off a bluff.
I text some notes in hopes there’ll be
Someone here soon to LOWER me.
Solution (highlight to view): rescue, miscue ("re" to "mi")
______________________________________________________
91. FIRST-TO-SECOND-SOUND CHANGEOVER (*6, 9)
Had girl and boy not taken drastic steps,
Her father would have locked her out of reach,
To keep apart the duo so in love
And to the boy a feud-born lesson teach.
She might have ended sealed up in a tower,
Or down in some aphotic, secret CRY.
And we might not have had the chance to read
About the tragedy of star-crossed SKY.
Solution (highlight to view): Juliet, oubliette
______________________________________________________
92. OVERLOADED PALINDROME DELETION (9)
At Transylvania College,
In night school, I suppose,
The grades they give each KNOWLEDGE
Are A’s and B’s and O’s.
Solution (highlight to view): undergrad, undead
______________________________________________________
93. REVERSED TERMINAL-LETTER CHANGE (7)
Those SMALL who fail tests in extinguishing arts,
Deserve to get FLAMEs in their permanent charts.
Solution (highlight to view): firemen, demerit
______________________________________________________
94. WELDED TRANSPOSAL (6 10)
He scolded the skating girl bringing him fries.
She went to her boss, streaming tears from her eyes.
The boss gave the patron a painful surprise.
And that was the last time they saw the GOODBYES.
Solution (highlight to view): carhop reproacher
______________________________________________________
95. PALINDROME DELETION (9)
Be sure to use a macro lens
When shooting small, round fruits,
Or else you may well end up with
Some pics of ASE ASTUTEs.
Solution (highlight to view): blueberry, blurry
______________________________________________________
96. SPOONERGRAM WE NEVER FINISHED READING
(*3 *6, *3 5) (*3 *6 = not MW; second *3 = not MW)
A second-rate production of To Kill a Mockingbird
Was staged down in the Hundred Acre Wood . . .
Solution (highlight to view): Boo Radley, Roo badly
______________________________________________________
97. PADLOCK (3, 7; 8)
My footwear has a Day-Glo COWED,
And now Juan’s quip is spreading;
He said, “Your CODINGs are so loud,
They’re giving me a WEDDING.”
Solution (highlight to view): hue, earache; huarache
______________________________________________________
98. REVERSED BEHEADMENT (9) (WISP = NI3)
The X-ray that you took should show
One depth in focus crisp.
Yours barely meets that standard, so
At best it’s a PSI WISP.
Solution (highlight to view): planigram, marginal
______________________________________________________
99. CURTAILMENT (11)
With tables filled, we strode a
Path to stools up near the soda
Jerk. “A Triple Root Beer Float!” I boldly said.
But my wife MORALEd that order:
“He’ll have just a glass of water.”
So the MORAL set down H2O instead.
(cowritten with Zebraboy, as Horned Zebra)
Solution (highlight to view): countermand, counterman
______________________________________________________
100. REVERSED THIRD-TO-FIFTH CHANGEOVER (9, 4-5)
And down the stretch race croc and snake.
They’re neck and neck now. Holy smokes!
My blood runs cold. Looks like we’ve got
A bona fide ONE TWO here, folks!
Solution (highlight to view): reptilian, nail-biter
______________________________________________________
101. DELETION (6)
The judge was caught accepting bribes,
And for that crime was tried.
He got a chance to see the system
From the other side.
His sentence was hard labor,
Turning boulders into FLEET.
He’ll be there till the end of time —
They make him use his FEET.
Solution (highlight to view): gravel, gavel
______________________________________________________
102. PHONETIC DOUBLE-CROSS (7, 5, 9, 5)
Sue is a SECOND of everything campy,
Thus clearly a big fan of FIRST night at bars.
She entered a contest and crooned something vampy,
Outscoring her rivals in most rounds by far.
But then in the finals, her score was just smaller
Than that of some guy who sang “Here Comes the Sun.”
FOURTHly for Sue, though, the contest rules called for
A THIRD of her points from the semis. She won!
Solution (highlight to view): karaoke, lover, carryover, lucky
______________________________________________________
103. REVERSED REPEATED-LETTER DELETION (7)
(DRAG = inferable usage)
The GEARED tried to quit,
So got on the wag-
On. Soon he fell off
And promptly got DRAG.
Solution (highlight to view): tippler, relit
______________________________________________________
104. REVERSED CURTAILMENT (6)
(with a get-well card to Jan. 2007 #34)
Jan. 34 did disclose
Our poor Tahnan’s trephine-based woes.
But my turn came later;
They ALPHAed my BETA
Right out from under my nose.
Solution (highlight to view): remove, vomer
______________________________________________________
105. PHONETIC METATHESIS (7, 9)
If you breathe in CHARMING gas
You won’t be MARCHING long, alas.
Solution (highlight to view): noxious, conscious
______________________________________________________
106. REVERSED CONSONANTCY WNFR (9, 10)
A breakthrough in snakebite elixirs . . .
Solution (highlight to view): antivenin, innovation
______________________________________________________
107. LETTER BANK (8, [*6 *6] 4) (OMISSIONS = not MW)
Last year you had to be 10 on the nose
To pitch or play other positions,
But now that the range goes from 8 up to 12,
We’re fielding a SIMON OMISSIONS.
Solution (highlight to view): multiage, Little League team
______________________________________________________
108. CONSONANTCY (7, *8) ( *8 = STRAY = not MW)
Dibbledy-Dubbledy,
Pamela Anderson
Is a blonde tresses
An’ melons parade;
She would STAR as a STRAY
Resuscitationist;
Men wanted seconds of
C.J.’s first aid.
(written for the 2007 flat competition, requiring the verse to
contain a name and a transposal of the name)
Solution (highlight to view): bewitch, Baywatch
______________________________________________________
109. REVERSED CURTAILMENT (6)
(BEGUN = NI3 form of 11C word)
“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” is DONE
My favorites of common BEGUN.
Solution (highlight to view): gnomae, among
______________________________________________________
110. TRANSPOSAL (12, 8 4) (HOT = 8 4 = NI3)
This thing in front of me exists,
If I am here or not.
I push and pull it — it resists;
It certainly has HOT.
But some believe this view has flaws,
Preferring various THO
That teach the thing is here because
My thinking makes it so.
Solution (highlight to view): antirealisms, inertial mass
______________________________________________________
111. OVERLOADED DELETION (7)
Another heist done.
Was the getaway clean?
The recidivist’s life
Is a dreary routine.
He’ll be collared again,
But for now he just sits
In his overstuffed chair
Between RECOMMITs.
Solution (highlight to view): armrest, arrest
______________________________________________________
112. LETTER BANK (10, 6 2 8) (PREPARE = NI3)
I bought what he said was PEAR property,
Since I treasure the sand and salt air.
When I found out the land was in Kansas,
I filed a suit for PREPARE.
Solution (highlight to view): beachfront, breach of contract
______________________________________________________
113. TRANSPOSAL (12) (MIDAS = inferable)
In carnal ways I like it rough,
And also threesomes; that’s the stuff!
So you can bet I go insane
Whenever two MAIDS MIDAS pain.
Solution (highlight to view): dominatrices, coadminister
______________________________________________________
114. DELETION (9) (SIG = inferable)
Kreskin’s name’s the first on mine,
And then comes Uri Geller’s.
All in all I’ve noted nine
Of these uncanny fellas.
You’ve also penned a set of SIGHs,
And Joe has one, so dig:
To help keep track, let’s itemize
All three within one SIG.
Solution (highlight to view): mentalist, metalist
______________________________________________________
115. PHONETIC PADLOCK (*7, 6; 3)
If you get arrested due to
Some SEEM act of crime,
Remember that your PRICY rights
Allow you to keep PRIME.
Solution (highlight to view): Miranda, random; mum
______________________________________________________
116. PARTIALLY OVERLOADED PHONETIC TWO-WORD DELETION (8; 3, 4, 5)
(CHOCK-FULL = 8, 4, and 5; 8 = NI3)
My limb-joint feels much better, Doc.
There’s no more CHOCK-FULL pain, let’s knock
On wood. So, how much do I HOCK?
Solution (highlight to view): anconeal; owe, knee, ankle
______________________________________________________
117. PHONETIC PHRASE SHIFT (5 4)
(spun off from June 21)
In the Mexican soap Horneando el Pan,
We see lovely Inez with revealing garb on.
She quaffs down a beer as she gets her things ready —
The water, yeast, flour and other stuff bready.
Then, after the mixing and time to let rise,
She kneads and she rolls with desire in her eyes.
Inez can make MUFFINS like no one before.
The show should be rated an X (if not more).
Solution (highlight to view): dough sexy (from Dos Equis)
______________________________________________________
118. REVERSED FOURTH-LETTER CHANGE (7)
Stephen Colbert, every night,
Belches portent from the right.
Fearless. Stalwart. Patriotic.
(Could it be the show’s parodic?)
Other hosts are maudlin oxes,
Oozing sentiment that’s noxious.
Stolid Stephen speaks dispassion —
Just fake news, no NONTAR RATION.
Solution (highlight to view): noisome, emotion
______________________________________________________
119. SECOND-SOUND CHANGE (6, 5) (CRUISE, CLUES)
If you were somehow on a CRUISE,
You’d never be at rest.
If you, instead, were on a CLUES,
You would be, I suggest.
Solution (highlight to view): photon, futon
______________________________________________________
120. PHONETIC REVERSAL (5, 6) (SIGN = 6 = NI3)
I find rather strong tea divine.
Long brew times for me are just fine.
I could toss, bake, and slice,
And eat half of a NICE,
While my favorite Darjeeling’s still SIGN.
Solution (highlight to view): pizza, asteep
______________________________________________________
121. REVERSED DELETION (8) (MORE = NI2+)
In a haystack LESS are MORE;
Thus we have that metaphor.
Solution (highlight to view): seldseen, needles
______________________________________________________
122. WELDED TRANSPOSAL (11 9)
It’s what you say, not word-count,
That decides what you convey.
Thus, brevity does not obscure;
Conversely, nor does GRAY.
Solution (highlight to view): lengthiness enlighten
______________________________________________________
123. TRANSPOSAL WNFR (*12, 4 8) (*12 = NI3)
Wood warblers flying at 0.9c . . .
Solution (highlight to view): Mniotiltidae, time dilation
______________________________________________________
124. LETTER BANK (9, *6 *8, *11 7, 8 11)
(SINE, NINES, SEINE, SENSEI)
(SINE = NI3; NINES = NI2; SEINE = inferable)
Kids, be the first on your block
To own an Ant Farm that will shock!
These ants are intelligent breeds,
Who gather up fossilized seeds!
To locate such SINEs the ants know
To move earth with a SEINE -- apropos!
And one who has grander designs
Like Napoleon (we've dubbed him the NINES)
Runs constant high-energy tests
With a SENSEI he built in their nests!
(one of the five comic-book-ad flats for the cover of the Nov 2007 Comics edition)
Solution (highlight to view):
carpolite, Little Corporal, Caterpillar tractor, particle accelerator
______________________________________________________
125. REPEATED-LETTER DELETION (8)
We played croquet with Atom Ant.
He used, of course, the CHIANTI CHANT.
Solution (highlight to view): smallest, mallet
______________________________________________________
126. TRANSPOSAL (*5-*5, 10) (ONE = not MW)
With Troll and Buzzard by her side,
ONE shines in equal-sided panels.
Thus, in TWO shapes, true and tried,
She’ll enter cartoons’ hallowed annals.
Solution (highlight to view): Broom-Hilda, rhomboidal
______________________________________________________
127. TERMINAL-LETTER CHANGE (*7, 7) (*GROUPER = not MW)
Fishlike TROUPES on GROUPER’s tunic
Help him glide through seas cartoonic.
Solution (highlight to view): Aquaman, squamae
______________________________________________________
128. TERMINAL-LETTER CHANGE (*7, 7) (*DEER = not MW)
The cartoon *DEER that grace the pages
Of a certain magazine
Might favor skirts with micro HEELs
If ever undisrobed they’re seen.
Solution (highlight to view): Femlins, hemline
______________________________________________________
129. PHONETIC REVERSAL (6, *5) (*5 = LIGHT = not MW)
If, in a millennium, you
Were to meet a deliveritrix who
Was genetically deviant by
Dint of having the TILE for one eye,
I suggest you address her as “LIGHT.”
I’d bet quite a bit you’d be right.
Solution (highlight to view): allele, Leela
______________________________________________________
130. TRANSPOSAL (^7 *8, 7 8) (TIN = ^7 *8 = not MW; NIT = NI3)
Some Power has possessed
My neighbor Raymond Coffin
And turned him into TIN.
Such things don’t happen often.
His new-found superpowers
Annoy me quite a bit,
But no one else, it seems,
So legally they’re a NIT.
Solution (highlight to view): Captain Universe, private nuisance
______________________________________________________
131. PHONETIC TERMINAL DELETION (9, 7)
Tonight we laud the man who found a cure for STDs,
So let’s all give our TOFU OAF a big clap, if you please.
Solution (highlight to view): gonorrhea, honoree
______________________________________________________
132. PHONETIC FALSE PLURAL (*4, 6)
SECOND-LETTER CHANGE (4)
HOMONYM (4, 6) (MOTE, MOAT)
While here in FLOCK I wrote
The flat that you now PHLOX.
Because of LUCK and MOTE,
We MOAT some of the LOCKs.
Wet skies aside, I note
That Machu Picchu rocks!
Solution (highlight to view): Peru, peruse; rain, ruin; mist, missed
______________________________________________________
133. PALINDROME DELETION (^5 *4) (TOUGH GUY = var.)
FOURTH-SOUND CHANGE (10, 8) (ENVOI, ENJOY)
The man in red knows what I’ll want;
The right thing’s always in his TOY.
It’s therefore safe to say that TOUGH GUY
Has an ENVOI for ENJOY.
Solution (highlight to view): Saint Nick, sack; prescience, presents
______________________________________________________
134. LETTER BANK (9, 13, 16) (ROTARY DRILL = 13)
The finest private schooling
In both ROTARY DRILL and law,
Prepared me as a diplomat,
But I’ve a hidden flaw.
For years I’ve been addicted,
Although no one knows the truth.
Each icy night, alone, I pop
TOROIDALLY, forsooth.
I pray to all the gods that be
(IDOLATRY’s my shield),
That I can break this curse and my
Cruel vice won’t be revealed.
(cowritten with Lirath, as TINRATH)
Solution (highlight to view): pantheism, statesmanship, methamphetamines
______________________________________________________
135. REPEATED-SOUND DELETION (7, 5)
In one class in law school, my final exam
Required my writing a SMALL
Contrasting the prospect of going out BIG
With times where’s there’s no will at all.
Solution (highlight to view): testate, essay
______________________________________________________
136. ALTERNADE (8 4) (ONE = *4 = not MW; TWO = NI3)
The Anglo-Saxon bouncer,
Asked the key to his success,
Would often THREE this ALL OF THEM
That’s based on how folks dress:
If clad in ONE or in Chanel
They’re in, for they impress;
But TWOs attired in laborer’s garb,
Their entry he’d suppress.
Solution (highlight to view): decision tree, Dior, esne, cite
______________________________________________________
137. REVERSED PALINDROME DELETION (5 4)
I painted some fruits
Along with some newts.
The title, you seek?
It’s ^PEACOCK with ^PEAK.
Solution (highlight to view): Still Life, efts
______________________________________________________
138. LETTER BANK (10, 2-4-2-4, 16)
(REF, FREE = NI3; REEFER = 16 = NI2)
“Do not approach a person who
Is walking in a state of sleep
Unless you have with you some REEFER”
Is a rule I like to keep.
Salts of acids, mixed, from elements
Forty-one and seventy-three
Will blunt the shock of sudden rousing;
Absent them, a REF is FREE.
Solution (highlight to view): noctambule, un-come-at-able, columbotantalate
______________________________________________________
139. PALINDROME DELETION (10)
I bandaged the LED
(From a slip with a scimitar)
With a LEERED dressing LED
’Bout my forearm’s perimeter.
Solution (highlight to view): wraparound, wound
______________________________________________________
140. OVERLOADED TERMINAL LETTER CHANGE (*8, 8)
Read The Little Mermaid and I venture
That you’ll enjoy this DOUBLED-UP adventure.
Solution (highlight to view): Andersen, undersea
______________________________________________________
141. TERMINAL-SOUND CHANGE (9)
(TWO = non-MW phrase, enumeration withheld)
Once I wrote, for films’ releases,
Pensive, slow piano pieces
Hoping that they might be used in spy flicks.
But I was told, by folks who knew,
That ONE don’t work in films like TWO,
Thus my first bond with cinema was (sigh) nixed.
Solution (highlight to view): nocturnes, Dr. No
______________________________________________________
142. PALINDROME DELETION (9)
(BYTES = 9 = NI3 var. of 11C word)
Someone help me kill these mites.
I need a BITS to tote the BYTES.
Solution (highlight to view): acaricide, aide
______________________________________________________
143. REVERSED FIRST-TO-SIXTH CHANGEOVER (8)
(clued in order)
My neighbor’s rather whiny.
His wails could fill a tome.
One day he borrowed my mower
And sobbed the whole way home.
He’s kept it for ten years now;
I ask for it, he moans.
So now I’m left with no choice but
To sue that SNORT for TONES.
Solution (highlight to view): sniveler, replevin
______________________________________________________
144. PHONETIC TERMINAL DELETION (9, 4)
We brought home a pup to our spread, Mayer’s Ranch.
He’s short and he’s long and he’s ours.
But how were we ever supposed to have known
That Oscar had magical powers?
While driving to town on a muddy dirt road,
Our cart got bogged down in the mire.
But Oscar jumped out and he wiggled his nose,
And cleaved as he grew six feet higher!
The FARMERS had turned to a proud brace of ARMOR
And, yoked, pulled our cart from the muck.
We’ve never told anyone what he can do,
Or how we that day got unstuck.
(cowritten with Lirath, as TINRATH)
Solution (highlight to view): dachshund, oxen
______________________________________________________
145. TRANSPOSAL (12, 5 1’5’1)
(SECOND = inferable from findable material)
At the local mental ward
The treatment plan is on the board:
Dawn is counseling, noon is meds;
SECOND FIRST; then dinner, beds.
Solution (highlight to view): electroshock, three o'clock's
______________________________________________________
146. REVERSED FIFTH-TO-FIRST CHANGEOVER (9)
Even if a FORWARD’s closeness
Causes you some aches,
Please don’t try to RETROGRADE
By slamming on your brakes.
Solution (highlight to view): tailgater, retaliate
______________________________________________________
147. LETTER BANK WNFR (4 5, *7 ^8)
(4 5 = findable; *7 ^8 = not MW)
Loretta Lynn’s dad toured the Washington Mall . . .
Solution (highlight to view): coal miner, Lincoln Memorial
______________________________________________________
148. TRANSPOSAL (4 7, 2 2 3 4)
(FOUR WORDS = NI3-findable)
The selfless tycoon traded shares round the world;
He was FOUR WORDS in stock, one might say.
He left it behind and worked down at the TWO WORDS,
Assisting poor souls every day.
Last week, in the back room, he slipped and he landed
Feet first in a five-foot-tall vat.
And so he was FOUR WORDS in stock once again,
But this time quite literally that.
Solution (highlight to view): soup kitchen, up to his neck
______________________________________________________
149. TRANSPOSAL (6 7, 7 6) (LEAP = NI3)
Each year companies file their PLEA,
But not so LEAPs, like you and me.
Solution (highlight to view): annual reports, natural person
______________________________________________________
150. PHONETIC DOUBLE-CROSS (*3 *6, 4, *3-*4, 7)
(PROFESSOR CRANE, IN LITTLE MORE THAN SUMMER, A BRAIN, AMMO)
(*3 *6, *3-*4 = not MW; would probably not be sung by PROFESSOR CRANE)
I could while away the hours
Conferrin’ with the flowers,
Consultin’ with the rain.
Or I could look at people’s asses
Through my stylish tinted glasses
If I only had A BRAIN.
Exams could all be beaten
And no one’d catch me cheatin’
If shades I could retain.
With my eyes all a-hidden
I could peek at things unbidden
If I only had A BRAIN.
Oh, I could tell you why
The ocean’s near the shore:
That’s where volleyball is played IN LITTLE MORE
THAN SUMMER clothes.
“Sure, I’ll keep score!”
I could add beret and camo,
Impersonate an AMMO,
And hop a subway train.
I could dance and be merry
As I make commuting scary
If I only had A BRAIN.
(cowritten with Cramerica, as TIN HARMONICA)
Solution (highlight to view): Ray Bolger, sans, Ray-Bans, soldier
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151. REVERSED MUTUAL REPLACEMENT (6)
If rice and seafood are for you,
A foreign dish like ONE will TWO.
Solution (highlight to view): paella, appeal
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152. REPEATED-BIGRAM DELETION (3 6, 5)
(MAINLINE = not MW; MALE = NI3 form of 11C word)
To keep your engine running clearly,
Change your MAINLINE MALE than yearly.
Solution (highlight to view): oil filter, ofter
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153. PHONETIC METATHESIS (8, 6) (CARB = 8)
If you go from CARB to dark
The pupils of your eyes will BARK.
Solution (highlight to view): daylight, dilate
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154. CONSONANTCY (8, 8)
A lion must take down a zebra
With a run and a jump and a swipe.
Any lion that can’t do that TEEPEE
Might be forced to turn into a TYPE.
Solution (highlight to view): maneuver, omnivore
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155. PALINDROME DELETION WNFR (*5 *5)
(ONE = not MW; TWO = *)
“The movie was terrible, awful, atrocious,
Alarming, deplorable, bad . . .”
Solution (highlight to view): Roger Ebert, Roget
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156. OVERLOADED TRANSPOSAL
(6-4, *3 *7) (*3 *7 = not MW)
Higgledy-Piggledy,
New show on NBC,
My Dad Is Better Than
Your Dad, is lame;
Reaches new depths in its
Unwatchability,
Maybe because the host’s
ONE AND THE SAME.
Solution (highlight to view): second-rate, Dan Cortese
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157. OVERLOADED REVERSED BEHEADMENT (5)
My trusted friend Morton’s the greatest of chaps,
He’s always come through for me, ever since birth.
This one time he gave me a book of world maps.
I often rely on that SPIN of the earth.
Solution (highlight to view): atlas, salt
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158. OVERLOADED SPOONERGRAM
(6 4 4, 6 4 4) (middle word does not change)
A fragile and pileous wicked thing I store
Inside this container marked “SIX FOUR AND FOUR.”
Solution (highlight to view): handle with care, candle with hair
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159. DELETION (2-3, 4)
Up front at the doc’s they always make
A TIE of the card from my insurer.
Then later, before I leave, they take
My TIME, so I always end up poorer.
Solution (highlight to view): co-pay, copy
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160. PHONETIC TRANSPOGRAM
(7, ^3 *1*1) (ELF = ^3 *1*1 = not MW)
The horror flick was scary
But the plot should be retooled.
I FELL the end to ELF just
Halfway through, so wasn’t fooled.
Solution (highlight to view): foresaw, Saw IV
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161. TERMINAL-LETTER CHANGE
(9, ^5 ^4) (ZEN = ^5 ^4 = not quite MW)
I dislike being on the board with Brett,
Who gloats whenever he completes a set.
Just yesterday he had three railroads, then
I heard him MEW when he acquired ZEN.
Solution (highlight to view): chortling, Short Line
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162. TRANSPOSAL (12, *5 *7) (ONE = NI2)
The Plaza de Acho in Lima, Peru,
Was home to the earliest ONE held in TWO.
Solution (highlight to view): tauromachies, South America
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163. OVERLOADED REVERSED FIRST-TO-SECOND CHANGEOVER (6)
After the séance we plastered the walls.
Yes, we’re big fans of the NIAGARA FALLS.
Solution (highlight to view): occult, stucco
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164. REVERSED DELETION (8) (MOOLA = NI3+)
HETERONYM (7, *7) (MOO LA = not MW)
The wife of the boss of the aunt of my friend
Will be throwing a birthday soiree.
(I certainly tried MOOLA all those ABLOOMs,
But without them I couldn’t convey
What I meant.) And the wife’s been MOO LA the whole gang,
As I learned on my laptop today.
Solution (highlight to view): genitive, eviting; eviting, Eviting
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165. PHONETIC TERMINAL DELETION (7, 5)
I went to fill my fancy glass
With what they deemed PERNOD.
While it had wine and juice, alas,
No hint of fizz did show.
I’m URN at this sheer lack of class;
My top’s about to blow!
(cowritten with Lirath, as TINRATH)
Solution (highlight to view): sangria, angry
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166. REVERSED DELETION (8)
Malaysian fashion’s made it to Milan,
And all the NOSY now are wearing YON.
Solution (highlight to view): signoras, sarongs
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167. OVERLOADED SIXTH-TO-LAST CHANGEOVER (5 4, ^5 ^4)
Baseball’s finally made it to Tibet,
But there have been no HOT DOG sightings yet.
Solution (highlight to view): grand slam, Grand Lama
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168. ISOMORPH (15, 7 8) (ONE WORD = NI3)
Some people are religious, and some folks will classify
Being neutral toward religion as a code that they live by.
And when our schools (correctly) use a non-religious eye,
Some true believers want their views taught equally, they cry,
To counter so-called TWO-WORD PHRASE they say the schools supply.
And me? Well, puzzles come from somewhere, ergo that is why
I here profess belief in some great ONE WORD in the sky.
Solution (highlight to view): enigmatographer, secular humanism
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169. TRANSPOSAL (13, 8 5) (CLARET = 8 5 = NI3)
I place the diamond in the right-hand pan,
And then the orange taproot in the left.
But no, the scale tips sharply to one side
Because the vegetable has too much heft.
Unfazed, I slice the rabbit food in two,
And thereby learn it just CARTEL the CLARET.
And from this trial and error I conclude
My carboniferous gem weighs half a carrot.
Solution (highlight to view): counterpoises, precious stone
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170. FIRST-TO-LAST-SOUND CHANGEOVER (9, 8) (ONE = NI3+)
The price of coconut should climb,
So TWOs will cost more ONEs, in time.
Solution (highlight to view): smackeroo, macaroon
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171. PHONETIC TRANSPOGRAM (7, 3 5) (TRUCKS = 3 5 = NI3)
I lead the group with Nash,
But he spares no expense
And spends committee cash
Like dollars were just cents.
To meet with folks offshore
His travel was deluxe,
While I, his STRUCK, much more
Cost-consciously chose TRUCKS.
Solution (highlight to view): cochair, air coach
______________________________________________________
172. PHRASE SOUND SHIFT (6 3)
At the zoo in Iceland
(Near Blafjoll, where there’s snow)
A sickly hawk was crying,
Whose cage was locked, and so
His ills could not be tended
Until, at the chalet,
The zoo-keep, off the slopes now,
Produced the only WAY.
Solution (highlight to view): osprey key [from apres ski]
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173. REVERSED PHONETIC CHARADE (4-3)
We voted for our favorite side;
The count was 5 to 4.
Potato salad RAWly won
And LUG was the GALORE.
Solution (highlight to view): also-ran, slaw, narrow
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174. WELDED TRANSPOSAL (10 4)
The charged part of helium’s
Seen-through-the-looking-glass
Counterpart’s nucleus
Is a rare COOKING CLASS.
Solution (highlight to view): antiproton pair
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175. TERMINAL DELETION (5, *3) (BOTH, THREE)
HETERONYM (5, *5) (BOTH, FIVE)
(BOTH = overloaded; THREE FIVE = not MW)
It was in the ’70s when, on the air,
This actress (just one of the bunch) showed her flair.
But now she’s a contractor, and with great care,
THREE FIVE uses BOTHs to keep things (mid-left?) square.
Solution (highlight to view): level, Eve; plumb, Plumb
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176. TRANSPOSAL WNFR (12, 7 5) (7 5 = inferable)
Each full moon, the witloof ...
Solution (highlight to view): lycanthropic, chicory plant
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177. REVERSED DELETION (8) (7 = NI3)
[***Image of a Post-It -- saying "Watch Jerry on the 1st" -- stuck to a wall***]
(From the September 2008 Enigma)
Solution (highlight to view): telethon, notelet
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178. INTERLOCK (*1*1*5) (everything non-MW or non-MW usage)
Motoring with Tinhorn from the Inverness Hotel.
Where’s that dratted airport? Neither he nor I can tell.
We overshoot, and now we’re on the highway to hell.
Time to face the music, and I know just what to do.
Tin maintains a half-stiff upper lip. Out of the blue,
He says to put on *O*N/*E when my more classic *T*W*O is through.
More time. Zoom. I wish I were a mere fly on the wall.
Then on the third day, back in black-bile moods, we start to stall.
Discovery: our options few, we take the car to ALL.
(cowritten with Wrybosh, as TINOSH)
Solution (highlight to view): ACDelco, AC/DC, ELO
(album titles appear in the verse)
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179. FIRST-TO-LAST-SOUND CHANGEOVER (7, 8)
“Why not put down your subtraction
And let’s multiply,” I said.
But, nonplussed, she missed my ANGST
And just reduced her BANGS instead.
Solution (highlight to view): innuendo, minuend
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180. CONSONANTCY (3-4, 7) (OPEN, PONY)
I bill myself out as
An animal psychic.
When you see my act, then
You’ll know there’s none like it.
A card trick’s performed
With my cohorts in tandem.
The spotted cat studies
A card drawn at random.
He whispers it into
The elephant’s ear
While I watch cross the room
But for certain can’t hear.
Then we all concentrate
And — insert mystic pause —
I guess the card smugly,
To thunderous applause.
(The secret, of course,
Is that I’m a big phony.
I’ve no psychic gift,
I just OPEN the PONY.)
Solution (highlight to view): lip-read, leopard
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181. REVERSED PHONETIC PASTEOVER (9, 6)
In Titanic (spoiler alert!)
Hundreds FURL in one big FLIRT.
Solution (highlight to view): shipwreck, perish
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182. PHONETIC DELETION (8, 7’1)
We’ve concert seats this evening,
But my wife’s ear ring has flared,
And thus, because of her PATROL,
PAROLE plans are impaired.
Solution (highlight to view): tinnitus, tonight's
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183. TRANSPOSAL (10)
He practiced and he practiced
Raising tempo, playing faster,
As the score before him prompted,
So there would be no disaster.
And, by keeping nose to SARI,
Playing AIRS he’d finally master.
Solution (highlight to view): grindstone, stringendo
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184. TRANSPOSAL (9, 5 4)
I should have used deodorant
Before that lengthy set —
Five hours beating a SECOND
And my FIRST are soaking wet.
Solution (highlight to view): underarms, snare drum
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185. TRANSPOSAL (12, 7 5)
(7 5 = NI3; can be sung)
You load sixteen tons, and what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt.
The pittance that they pay me’s not THE TWELVE for my time.
I owe my soul to the TWO-WORD PHRASE RHYME.
Solution (highlight to view): compensatory, company store
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186. CHANGE ’N’ SWAP (8) (STEREO, thanks to Irving Berlin)
“When I’m worried and I can’t sleep
I count my OYSTERs instead of sheep . . .”
(first appearance of a Change 'N' Swap flat)
Solution (highlight to view): blessing, singable
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187. TRANSPOSAL WNFR (*7, 7)
(*7 = usage in NI2 phrase; 7 = NI3)
I listen to Handel when hitting my five-irons . . .
Solution (highlight to view): Messiah, mashies
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188. ISOMORPH (9)
(both NI3; can be sung to the tune of “La ^BEAUTIFUL”)
The Spanish real,
Old Spanish real,
Started life out as a slug.
Once in New England
They called it “SWINGLAND,”
And this song’s about a bug.
Solution (highlight to view): cucaracha, ninepence
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189. PHONIGMATIC REBUS (9)
[***Image of an Italian cobblestone walkway***]
We went to Rome, my wife and I,
The first week of September.
Those lovely days were followed by
A cruise we’ll both remember.
In Rome, we went on walking tours,
On cobblestones galore.
Throughout the city’s grand allures
My feet and back were sore.
We then left Rome to meet the boat
But toured, along the way,
An ancient city of some note —
Rome’s port, back in the day.
We walked some miles in ruins and sun,
On cobblestones again — grr!
When what occurred to me? A pun,
As joints once more were tender.
I told my wife, “I sure could use
A BREAK,” and snapped the shot
You see above. And on our cruise
This flat, dear Krewe, was wrought.
Solution (highlight to view): osteopath (Ostia path)
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190. REVERSED REPEATED-BIGRAM DELETION (9)
The Python boys would sing all day
Of jacks who prance, wear lingerie.
But you won’t find a real ONE who
Does that — such guys are therefore TWO.
Solution (highlight to view): shantyman, myths
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191. WORD DELETION (9)
RE at the start, it might be THE;
RE near the end, it might be THREE.
Solution (highlight to view): semifinal; if, seminal
______________________________________________________
192. WELDED TRANSPOSAL (5-3-3 9) (5-3-3 = NI3)
Through frost and drought and rust and pests
My grapes are still alive.
While others’ whites and reds are scarce,
Thanks to my FRIENDS I thrive.
Solution (highlight to view): never-say-die vineyards
______________________________________________________
193. REPEATED-LETTER DELETION (*8)
I’m gluing this chair on the fourth of this month;
It needs forty-eight hours to dry.
And since we’ll have company over SHEATH night,
I sure hope the chair’s SEAT thereby.
Solution (highlight to view): Saturday, sturdy
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194. PHONETIC BEHEADMENT (5, 7)
At first a building’s GWENed.
It’s then WHEN in the end.
Solution (highlight to view): erect, wrecked
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195. FALSE OPPOSITE (12, 11) (HIT, MISS)
The health police are knocking at my door.
So what if someone’s cleanliness is poor?
The roaches got disgusted, so they’re gone.
I keep my chickens off the neighbor’s lawn.
A virus must’ve gotten all the mice;
Each month, I spend a day removing lice.
I took the garbage out sometime in May.
I never use the plumbing anyway.
So, pah! I MISS upon your stupid HIT.
(Those folks don’t look too happy ’bout my spit . . .)
(cowritten with Tahnan, as TINHNAN)
Solution (highlight to view): inspectorate, expectorate
______________________________________________________
196. OVERLOADED THIRD-LETTER CHANGE (6, 3 3)
I have programmed F1 through F4 so I can
With just one single touch open up, per my plan,
Online websites of Sharks, Ducks, Coyotes, and Pan-
Thers. I guess you can tell I’m a real TURBO fan.
Solution (highlight to view): hockey, hot key
______________________________________________________
197. PHONETIC TRANSPOSAL (10, 9) (clued in order)
When forming at the potter’s wheel
Be cool and not in haste,
For DOCILE only leads to SOLID
Works, and that’s a waste.
Solution (highlight to view): impatience, misshapen
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198. DELETION (8)
This true, but unwritten, tale’s sure to astound:
It was Smaug and Smaug Jr. both flying around
On that one fateful day when the twosome were downed
And sank into Long Lake where they finally drowned.
Eventually, using a POND, townsfolk found
Smaug’s remains, but they never did locate the POUND.
Solution (highlight to view): dragonet, dragnet
______________________________________________________
199. REVERSED MUTUAL REPLACEMENT (9)
The new Danielle Steel book’s a real risqué bet.
It is, by all REGNANT, the TANAGER yet.
Solution (highlight to view): estimates, steamiest
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200. WELDED TRANSPOSAL (*4 *4 10)
(*4 *4 = part of 11C phrase)
Let’s go and watch the Jazz for some
Great CHLORINATED SODIUM.
Solution (highlight to view): Salt Lake basketball
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
The following are Ralf Flats -- played in the April Fools issues,
there are more to these than meet the eye.
R-1. REVERSED TERMINAL DELETION (11, 3)
Gym teachers' salaries once again fell
And so as a SHORT to that throng,
At ten after three (that is, after the bell)
They get one hours' play on the LONG.
Solution (highlight to view): trampolines, sop (T-E-R-M-I-N-A-L are deleted)
______________________________________________________
R-2. DELETION (4) (HERE = findable)
I bought myself some brand new gear
To run a better time this year.
I'm tired of bringing up the rear;
I hope to go from THERE to HERE.
Solution (highlight to view): last, lst
______________________________________________________
R-3. ACROSTICAL ENIGMA (9)
(C = NI2; D = NI2 usage of NI3 word)
A. Lines, a few, about this time
That serves up nutty treats in rhyme.
B. As sympathy is not the mission,
Tricks will test one’s erudition.
C. His only task, for thirty days,
Is cracking wise (to coin a phrase).
D. Ostensibly, our Ralf just might
Leave burning feelings left and right.
But April will be done too soon.
It’s back to square come May and June.
Solution (highlight to view):
PR(A)lines, EM(B)assy, AT(C)hison, URE(D)os = PREMATURE
______________________________________________________
R-4. BACKSWITCH (6)
As contractors frame the top story,
Joe sits there to sketch what they raise.
He captures the floors and walls ably,
But fails when he Bs those darn As.
Solution (highlight to view): rafter, render (AFT to END)
______________________________________________________
R-5. REVERSED REPEATED-REVERSED-LETTER DELETION (7)
My penmanship is poor
But like John H. I’ve learned:
If it’s not very FORWARD,
At least make sure it’s TURNED.
Solution (highlight to view): legible, big ..... twice delete LE = "reversed el"
______________________________________________________
R-6. CHARADE (5, 7) (SECOND = NI3)
The water was cold
When the FIRST ONE went in.
He exited SECOND
Much to his chagrin.
Solution (highlight to view): diver, ashiver; CHAR A "DE" = turn a D to ASH
______________________________________________________
Other Puzzles (here is a Guide)
VERTICAL ANAQUIP
(4 4 2 7 4 4 2 10 7. 11, 2'1 5 9.)
A B E E E E F H I K L L L M N O R R S T T T W Y
A E C H N O I A O L E F O S R Y H R N M T U P T
N F R L O Y C Y R H V E U E E L E U A L D T E S
Solution (highlight to view): Last week my brother fell into an upholstery machine. Fortunately, he's fully recovered.
______________________________________________________
VERTICAL ANAQUIP
(*7 7 3 2 10 10 5 4 2 7 2 4 1 5 3 2 1 3.)
A A C D E E E F F I I I K M N N N O P R R R R S S S
I K V T E H L C I A E H V E B E W R N A H O R A I M
U O P A R T H T I A G T A O E D U B F O A L L T N A
Solution (highlight to view): Skinner carried off an impressive behavioral trick when he managed to pull a habit out of a rat.
______________________________________________________
PIECEMEAL CIRCLE
(6-letter words; each trigram has been alphabetized;
thus TRA would be listed as ART)
ABL ACR AHL ALT BOX CEI
ELT ENT ERV ESV ILS NOT
Solution (highlight to view):
BAL LET HAL VES TAL ENT ICE BOX CAR TON SIL VER (BAL)
______________________________________________________
PIECEMEAL CIRCLE
(alternating 6-letter and 8-letter words)
BA CE DE GA FI LA LE LI LI MA
ME NE NO NU RE SA SE TE TE VI
Solution (highlight to view): CELIBATE TENURE REDEFINE NEGATE TELEVISE SESAME MELANOMA MALICE
______________________________________________________
VOWELLESS DOUBLE WORD SQUARE
ACROSS
1. Meat slicery
2. Puts one over the other
3. Popular sandwich
4. Quilts
5. Gunner
6. Infightings
7. Kills a big one
DOWN
1. Does not agree
2. Swelling from lymphatic blockage
3. How some like their PB&J
4. Ends of the trees
5. Genderless crimefighter?
6. Homework, e.g.
7. Frivolity
Solution (highlight to view):
D L C T S S N
S P R M P S S
C H S B R G R
C N T R P N S
R T L L R M N
D S S N S N S
S S S S N T S
ACROSS: delicatessen, superimposes, cheeseburger, counterpanes,
artilleryman, dissensions, assassinates
DOWN: disaccords, elephantiasis, crustless, timberlines,
superperson, assignment, unseriousness
______________________________________________________
PHONETIC DOUBLE SQUARE
Across:
1. Manner
2. Occupational skirt
3. Pale
4. Spirited, used especially of animals
Down:
1. Unaccompanied
2. It sometimes follows a comeback
3. Unspecified grocery purchase
4. Nuts
Solution (highlight to view):
S T aye L
T oo T oo
a SH uh N
G ay M ee
ACROSS: style, tutu, ashen, gamey
DOWN: stag, touche, item, loony
______________________________________________________
BIDIRECTIONAL DOUBLE LEFT CAMBRIDGE HEXAGON
(words can be entered into the grid backwards or forwards)
Across:
1. Parts of ranges
2. Fit in
3. Speechifying
4. Breaking out
5. Toothed edge
6. Yelps
7. Discarded peels
8. Taxman, for example
9. Bright aquarium fish
Down:
1. Woodwind instruments
2. Poems
3. Sheet material
4. Like a certifier’s register
5. Shelled reptiles
6. Ousting
7. Beauty salon procedure
8. One who extorts
9. Burning with malice
Solution (highlight to view):
OVENS
BELONG
ORATING
ESCAPING
SERRATION
SEIRCTUO
PARINGS
LEVIER
TETRA
______________________________________________________
CRYPTOGRAM
Cheers!
FCXDM CFBXD IXWJP WXICZ VDFIH OUDMZ OUFRZ KDXIH DEBPM
FOMXD METHZ BYXHM BEOMH IPUCX PUYHX MPEDV DUYWV.
Solution (highlight to view): Alert lager wench newly draws forty foamy brews right after tipsy guest gifts whole house third round.
______________________________________________________
CRYPTOGRAM
Keeping them humble.
MA PDOGNK, HG *INKHY GILDKWRHT WHIHZSO OTHESO ISWSHGSZ
GN ELPGNILNDO PNKKHYZSIO: "ISKSKMSI, AND HIS KNIGHT."
Solution (highlight to view): By custom, at Roman triumphal parades slaves repeated to victorious commanders: "Remember, you are mortal."
______________________________________________________
CRYPTOGRAM
A questionable fill.
BHJFP AOFDW JRDSZ HWRNZ MTPSJ EYXHW XWFLZ AOFDR
EDOXJ VDTRX QFOJX SOZTPA HBTSJR YDBTS ENTBX.
Solution (highlight to view): Mason group study aptly finds cheap epoxy grout cures quite worse drying amidst humid clime.