Walk into any retail store, call any customer service line, or interact with most hospitality staff, and you'll hear the same robotic phrases delivered with forced enthusiasm. "How can I provide you with excellent service today?" Nobody talks like that in real life.
I've been working with customer-facing teams for sixteen years, and the worst service experiences always come from over-trained staff following scripts instead of using common sense.
Real customers want solutions, not performances.
Let's address the elephant in the room: the customer isn't always right. Sometimes they're confused, misinformed, or unreasonable. Pretending otherwise creates entitled behaviour and burns out your staff.
I consulted for a Canberra electronics retailer where staff were trained to agree with everything customers said, even when customers were factually wrong about product specifications. The result? Returns increased 40% because people bought inappropriate products, then blamed the store when things didn't work as expected.
Smart businesses train their staff to educate customers, not just placate them. When someone's making a mistake, gentle correction prevents bigger problems later.
Most customer service training talks about "empowering" frontline staff, then gives them no actual authority to solve problems. They can apologise extensively but can't waive fees, make exceptions, or deviate from policy without manager approval.
This creates the worst possible scenario: customers deal with people who understand their frustration but can't address it. It's like hiring sympathetic middlemen whose job is to absorb complaints without providing solutions.
The companies with genuinely excellent service give their frontline people real decision-making authority. Not unlimited power – structured flexibility to resolve common issues without escalation.
Australian service culture has this weird obsession with forced cheerfulness. Staff are trained to maintain positive energy regardless of circumstances, creating interactions that feel fake and exhausting for everyone involved.
I worked with a Brisbane hotel chain that required staff to smile continuously and use upbeat language even when delivering bad news. Guests consistently rated these interactions as insincere compared to properties where staff were allowed to match their tone to the situation.
Sometimes appropriate service means being serious, direct, or even slightly sombre. A funeral director who's relentlessly cheerful isn't providing good service – they're being inappropriate.
Most businesses train staff to handle complaints by following escalation procedures: listen, empathise, apologise, escalate. This might work for genuinely complex issues, but it turns simple problems into bureaucratic nightmares.
When someone's coffee order is wrong, they don't need a therapeutic conversation about their feelings. They need a new coffee. Quickly and without drama.
The stress management training I run for customer service teams focuses on distinguishing between emotional support situations and practical problem-solving situations. Different approaches for different needs.
Nothing destroys customer trust faster than transparent upselling attempts disguised as helpful suggestions. We've all encountered the retail worker who suddenly becomes very interested in extended warranties or premium versions right before checkout.
Customers aren't stupid. They recognise sales pitches masquerading as service. The backlash often costs more goodwill than the additional revenue generates.
Genuine service sometimes means recommending the cheaper option that better suits the customer's needs. Short-term revenue loss, long-term loyalty gain.
Most businesses measure the wrong things: call duration, resolution rates, customer satisfaction scores based on survey responses. These metrics encourage behaviours that optimize numbers rather than actual service quality.
I've seen call centre staff rush through complex problems to hit time targets, leaving customers with incomplete solutions. I've watched retail workers focus on survey scores instead of actual customer outcomes.
The businesses with the best reputations measure different things: repeat customers, word-of-mouth referrals, problem prevention rather than just problem resolution.
Forget the scripts and focus on problem-solving skills. Train people to understand your products, policies, and processes well enough to help customers navigate them effectively.
The best service people I've encountered have three qualities: they understand what they're selling, they're authorised to make reasonable decisions, and they treat customers like intelligent adults rather than emotional children.
This requires better training approaches that focus on knowledge and judgement rather than compliance and performance.
Self-service technology should handle routine transactions so human staff can focus on complex problems that actually require human judgement. But too many businesses use technology to avoid hiring adequate staff, then wonder why service quality suffers.
When customers choose to interact with humans instead of using self-service options, they usually need something beyond basic transactions. Staff should be trained and equipped to handle these higher-level interactions, not forced to compete with machines on simple tasks.
Not everyone needs to be extroverted and bubbly to provide excellent service. Some customers prefer efficient, professional interactions over chatty engagement. Some situations call for competence over charisma.
I know a motor mechanic in Adelaide who barely makes small talk but consistently delivers quality work on time and explains problems clearly. His customer loyalty is extraordinary because people trust his expertise and straightforward communication.
Different personalities can excel at service if they're matched to appropriate roles and customers.
Most customer service training is cheap, generic, and focused on behaviour modification rather than skill development. One-day workshops on positive attitudes don't create service excellence.
Real service capability requires ongoing investment in product knowledge, industry understanding, and problem-solving skills. This costs more upfront but creates staff who can actually help customers rather than just process them.
Some of the best customer service I've experienced comes from regional businesses where staff have genuine authority, deep product knowledge, and long-term customer relationships. They're not following scripts – they're solving problems.
Urban businesses could learn from this approach instead of trying to systematise every interaction into corporate-approved responses.
Stop treating customer service like performance art. Customers don't need elaborate productions – they need knowledgeable, empowered people who can solve their problems efficiently.
Train for competence, not compliance. Measure outcomes, not activities. Give people authority to match their responsibilities.
Most importantly, remember that good service often looks unremarkable because it works smoothly without drawing attention to itself.