Video On This Subject

(By: Norm Rasmussen)

Let's get right to it ... mighty man or woman of God.

Husband, God has designated you the spiritual head in the marriage so you're the one who needs to hear this more than your wife.

[The spiritual weapon God has given Christians to keep the devil from destroying their marriages:

The 100 Percent Weapon]

You've got strife in your relationship. You're both angry most likely and probably hurt. Husband, here's what you do. Take the Mrs. to the side and tell her you have a confession you want to make. Tell her that you are assuming 100% of the responsibility for all the conflict that has been going on between you two, because you and you alone are all the fault. Wait for her reaction.

Wife, refuse to agree with him. Tell him that YOU assume 100% of the responsibility for all the conflict in the marriage, and you are the fault for all the pain that has been caused.

Get the point? You have chosen to quit casting stones at your spouse, and you are each pointing 100% responsibility at yourselves, even if you are not truly at fault!

Next, both of you go to your knees, and husband, because you're the head and priest of the marriage, it is your responsibility to confess to God, out loud so your wife can hear, that you are 100% responsible for all the pain going on in the marriage, and then ask God to forgive you for it.

Then, ask God to reveal all of the wrong you've been guilty of, knowingly or unknowingly, and ask Him to help you to stop doing that wrong from that moment on. Then thank Him for hearing your confession, and thank Him for all the help He is going to provide in bringing whatever necessary change is needed to make you more Christ-like around your wife.

Now it's your turn, wife. You need to do exactly what your husband just did. You need to confess to God, out loud, that YOU are 100% responsible for causing all the pain going on in the marriage, and then ask God to forgive you for it.

Next, ask God to reveal all of the wrong you've been guilty of, knowingly or unknowingly, and ask Him to help you stop doing that wrong from that moment on. Then thank Him for hearing your confession, and thank Him for all the help He is going to provide in bringing whatever necessary change is needed to make you more Christ-like.

Don't let this just be cheap lip service. Mean it from the depths of your heart. You'll be amazed what God begins to do in your marriage after that.

If conflict arises again and you can't seem to get victory, get back on your knees together and do the same thing again. Do it as often as is necessary.

If you are at all able to understand what God is trying to communicate to us in this scripture: 'God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble' (1 Peter 5:5). You'll begin to comprehend the wisdom of striving to walk in humility, especially when you're at conflict with another.

If I was to ever get married again, I would take my potential mate out to dinner to her favorite restaurant, and demand that she make a covenant with me before we ever get serious about getting married. I would spring on her this weapon of each of us assuming 100% responsibility when conflict arises, once we are married, on our knees, in humility to God and each other. If she wouldn't agree to be willing to do this BEFORE any marriage plans are even talked about, and convince me she's serious about it, she would not be suitable wife material for me.

In a little different direction, is their on-going strife between you and an ex-spouse? Did the two of you have children together? Consider using 'the 100% humility weapon. Mighty man of God, go to your ex-wife if at all possible and tell her you have a confession you want to make to her. Tell her that you now assume 100% responsibility for the marriage falling apart, and you ask her forgiveness for it. If you can have your children present when you do this, by all means do so!

It may not happen right away, but if you can help guide your ex-wife to do the same in front of both you and your children, I can assure you that things in all your lives will go so much better.

Then you will do well to admit to your children that you assume 100% responsibility for all the pain you have caused them, and ask them if they will forgive you for it. Then pray in front of them, telling God the very same thing, and that you ask His forgiveness for it. Receive His forgiveness, thank Him for it, and watch how things improve in your relationship with your children.

If I was to be faced with marrying another women who is divorced, I would ask her if she would be willing to do this with her ex-husband. If not, I would be very hesitant to lock into marriage with her. Why? Because if she's not willing to use 'the 100% humility weapon' with her ex-husband, odds are extremely good she wouldn't be willing to engage in using it with me EITHER, after we get married. Once we've been injured and we're angry over it, pride has a way of slipping in and using 'the 100% humility weapon' becomes very, very difficult in one's pain to execute. It's takes Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" at that juncture, usually, to utilize the weapon.

When using this weapon, it really isn't about who is right and who is wrong. It's about beating the devil at his game. It's about getting maximized reward from God. It's about showing God that you understand the wisdom of being humble. It's about getting God to shower you with as much grace that you can get showered with in this life.

Men, you are head of the home and with that responsibility comes setting the example of being a wise warrior. Every time you get angry with your wife, you basically have two options. You have within your power, more than what you may realize, to toss your wife out into the cold and let Satan have her to devour. Or, you can be a warrior like Jesus would be a warrior and do everything in your power to fight for her, do everything to make certain the devil is not able to take advantage of any of her vulnerabilities.

Fighting the devil by yielding your '100% humility weapon' on her behalf will grant you blessings from God in eternity you can't fathom at the present time. Fighting for your children; the same applies to your children. Executing "the 100% humility" weapon can work a miracle in your relationship with them.

Lasting victory is obtained by using 'the 100% humility weapon.' Temporary victory is all you'll obtain by trying any other methods.

When we purpose to utilize 'the 100% humility weapon' to dethrone evil ', God will release His power into your situation faster than any other way you can motivate Him to release it. It's the weapon that will find the greatest favor with your children, your wife or husband, your employer, the police, the judge, the IRS, God.

Now then, if I've upset you in any way by this very bold method of working peace into your troubled marriage, I assume 100% responsibility for it, and I ask your forgiveness.

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Remember: All that we do in this life comes back to our God-given purpose which is to serve and glorify God. The money and assets we accumulate, the fame and power we've attained or seek to attain - all of the things of this nature will one day pass away, but those lives of others we impact for Jesus Christ will last for eternity, and we will be rewarded for the part we helped play by impacting those lives ... for eternity. (Matthew 6:19-20 is our assurance)