5 WAYS TO TEACH YOUR CHILD ANGER
MANAGEMENT SKILLS
5 Ways to Teach Your Child Anger Management Skills
How to Teach Your Child to Control Anger
Distinguish between emotions and actions
Model anger management skills
Set rules for handling anger
Teach healthy coping skills
Use consequences
Differentiate Between Feelings and Behavior
Sometimes, aggressive behavior stems from a variety of uncomfortable feelings, like sadness or embarrassment. So, help your kids explore why they are feeling angry. Maybe they feel sad about a playdate being canceled, but they respond in anger because it's easier or it masks the hurt they're feeling.
Model Appropriate Anger Management Skills
The best way to teach children how to deal with anger is by showing them how you deal with your emotions when you feel angry.3 When kids watch you lose your temper, they'll likely do the same. But, if they see you cope with your feelings in a kinder, gentler way, they'll pick up on that, too.
Although it’s important to shield your children from most adult problems, it's healthy to show them how you handle angry feelings. Point out times when you feel frustrated so your child understands that adults get mad sometimes too.
It's OK to say, “I'm angry that the car in front of us didn’t stop to let those kids cross the street. But I’m going to stop so they can cross safely.” Verbalizing your feelings will teach children to talk about their emotions.
Establish Anger Rules
Most families have unofficial family rules about what behavior is acceptable and what isn’t when it comes to anger. Some families don’t mind doors being slammed and voices being raised while other families have less tolerance for such behaviors.
Teach Healthy Coping Skills
Kids need to know appropriate ways to deal with their anger. Instead of being told, “Don’t hit your brother,” explain what they can do when they feel frustrated. Say, "Next time, use your words" or "Walk away from him when you feel angry."
Offer Consequences When Necessary
Give your children positive consequences when they follow the anger rules and negative consequences when they break the rules. Positive consequences, such as a reward system or token economy system, can motivate a child to use anger management skills when they're upset.
Follow through with immediate consequences if your child becomes aggressive. Effective consequences may include time-outs, loss of privileges, or paying restitution by doing extra chores or loaning a toy to the target of their aggression.