Me:

Some have called my life a train wreck in progress. I see it as building hope. With apologies to Sir Elton, "I'm Still Standing" and only things that are built soundly STAND the test of time.

I would have titled my life, "A Series of Unfortunate Events" but that was taken by Lemony Snicket's.

Bad stuff happens to us all. I think how we deal with it defines us as a person. I prefer to look at my life as a definition of hope in action.

My Home:

I lived in Amman, Jordan from December of 2016 to April of 2021. I guess you could say I was adopted into a Bedouin family. My husband (Zahir) would set order to the heavens to make me happy. All of his siblings have hinted he was the "wild child." I cannot imagine that. His family likes the way caring for me has "grounded" him. At seventeen it was his parents who fostered/adopted me, although it is he who cared for me. For a few short good years, We lived on a compound with his parents.

After my husband stopped hiding me and our relationship, we became targets of the haters. It can be deadly to be "OUT" in the middle east. For "MY" safety (he is crazy for my safety) he gave up his home in Amman and we moved to Nine Elms, London, UK. Now he says, "We build together."

So where do I call home? Home is when I am wrapped in his arms. The geographical location doesn't matter.

My Love:

There are times Zahir confuses me. Sometimes he is my husband/lover. Other times he is a daddy/brother/mentor/pet owner... It scares me to think he may be all of the above.

Price Of Admission To My New World Is High:

I have fans who chastised me for being stupid living in Zahir's "gold lined" closet so long. I am not ashamed of being gay, never have been, it is WHO and WHAT I am. Jordan as a nation is a very "tolerant" nation when it comes to those of us who "love differently." It is at the personal and cultural level there is an issue. If we stayed in Jordan when Zahir went public, his career would be toast. His family would become pariahs. The harassment was extreme including death threats.

As to me being stupid... I graduated high school at 16 almost 17. It would have been at fifteen but life got in the way. I earned my Associates at eighteen, and earned a Bachelors with a double engineering major (structural & chemical) in 2019. I guess I am a little dumb, I had to drop the third discipline to make my timeline.

My "Art:"

From my perspective, I write poorly and probably not enough. That doesn't stop me though. I have my blog which is my on-line diary, with names changed to protect the innocent. I also do some fiction of the erotic nature over at Nifty.org.

Life's not worth a damn till you can say

Hey world I am what I am!