THoughts On FATHERHOOD
What does it mean to be a father, and how can I be a better one?
I’m sure the answer varies between the individual, culture, and time period in which this question is asked.
This is the question that floated in my head while my daughter was laying on the couch watching ghostbusters, and my son moved in and out of sleep on my wife’s chest. My wife and two kids have been sick most of the week, but things seem to be shifting back into the realm of normalcy. With some quiet time to reflect as everyone drifts off to sleep, I can recall writing in my journal some thoughts about being a better father, so I grabbed 2018’s journal and cracked it open. Fortunately, I marked in the index where these notes on fatherhood would be found.
The following was written around mid april, 2018.
To be a better father, I will -
- Put away my phone and other distractions and focus on my children
- Lead by example in how I treat myself and others
- Provide them with experiences instead of objects
- Show them how to live a healthy life
- Cultivate their curiosity
- Help build their dreams
I want both my children to grow up to be fantastic people - And I hope they can find a role model in me. I am striving to be a better person for them. I must also work hard to build a strong financial foundation for them. Everyday I need to practice what I wrote above. Everyday is an opportunity to be a better father. Being a better person will help you become a better father. Follow all the above steps - trust the process. Always keep in mind, the kids come first.
Now, almost a year later, I can reflect on my successes and failures on what I wrote down. I know that I still have a lot of work to do on pretty much every point, but writing this out now serves as a reminder and recommitment to the above.
I know im not the perfect father, and I doubt there is one out there (Though I would argue mine comes pretty close), but perfect isn’t my end goal. My end goal is to raise these kids to become smart, loving, capable adults - and to enjoy most of the journey along the way.
There is a lot for me to improve on, and that’s okay, because im actively working to do so. I will probably never reach perfect, but I’ll be doing my best.