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MY CANCER JOURNEY
Hello everyone! I am RAIDIS, 70, a retired government employee, diagnosed with breast cancer, underwent total mastectomy in 1999, a cancer survivor for 21 years and a Cancer Crusaders Club member since 1999.
I am thankful to God for this long remission. I am grateful that the Holy Spirit has guided my decisions throughout my cancer journey. I praise God for Dr. Reynaldo O. Joson whom I consider as His instrument for my healing. My burden became light and bearable because of the love and support of family and friends, and support groups like the Cancer Crusaders Club.
It was Ash Wednesday in February 1999 when it dawned on me that I had been paying for my HMO card for three years, without once availing myself of the annual physical/ medical exam. So I went to the Aetna Clinic and Laboratory in Makati, where a lady doctor examined my breast, underarm and collarbone area for any lumps by using the pads of her fingers. She felt a lump on my right breast, and advised me to see an oncologist as soon as possible.
I did not heed her advice. Fear and anxiety got the better of me. I thought to myself, “Paano kung totoong cancerous ang bukol at may breast cancer na pala ako? Makakalbo ba ako? I loved then my jet-black hair and I could not imagine losing it to chemotherapy. I did not want to die at a productive age of 48, going 49 in June. I had to see my son finish college. I tried to think positive. What if the doctor was wrong and there was no lump after all.
I could only turn to God for courage. I realized that my worries were unfounded, as I had yet to see an oncologist. I conquered my fears and did self- examination in bed and shower. I felt the lump on my right breast and faced reality. Three months after that fateful Ash Wednesday, I finally decided to see an oncologist. I prayed hard that God will lead me to the right one.
On 7 May 1999, I expressed my apprehensions while consulting Dra. Elizabeth Montemayor, the AETNA Coordinator for Manila Doctors Hospital (MDH). I said, “ Doktora, sana may milagro, sana wala lang ito.” I will never forget her reply. “You are looking for a miracle, here it is. Do you know that early detection is already a miracle ? What great words of encouragement! And then she referred me to Dr. Joson.
The day after, I went to Dr. Joson’s clinic at the 3rd floor of MDH. The queue was long, but I patiently waited for my turn. Dr Joson was very attentive while I opened up to him . I felt very comfortable right away because of his caring and reassuring ways. I also felt so blessed because I knew I got a competent doctor from the way he explained things. After a quick Fine Needle Aspiration (FNA) biopsy, I was advised to come back for the result in a few days.
I was restless during the next two days. The thought of getting a positive FNA result scared me. I could not sleep well. Fear and anxiety crept in again. I fervently prayed to God for strength and grace to accept whatever the FNA finding might be. Family, friends and my church community also prayed for me.
I returned to Dr. Joson on 10 May 1999. With faith and trust in our Almighty God, I was prepared to hear and accept the inevitable. The diagnosis and interpretation in the cytology report showed “atypical ductal cells present highly suspicious for carcinoma.” Dr. Joson asked if I knew what carcinoma meant, and I calmly said “cancer”! Without being too technical, he clearly explained my condition based on the physical and laboratory findings. There were four 4 condition levels, namely: doubtful, suspicious, highly suspicious and consistent. My condition was highly suspicious, just a step away from the dreaded consistent level. In a systematic and analytical way, Dr Joson discussed his treatment plan for me - surgery which could either be total or sub-total mastectomy, and the corresponding pros and cons.
When asked for his personal opinion, Dr Joson said that total surgery termed Modified Radical Mastectomy (MRM) was the best option. This involved the removal of the entire breast and most of the underarm lymph nodes. To confirm malignancy before removing the breast, Dr. Joson explained that rapid frozen section biopsy will be done, wherein a portion of the mass tissue will be rushed to Pathology for diagnosis while I lay on the operating table. I told Dr. Joson “Kayo na po ang bahala sa akin. Bukod sa Diyos, kayo ang nakakaalam kung ano ang mabuting gagawin sa akin”. I still have Dr. Joson’s notepads showing his drawings and notes while explaining the whole treatment.
I understood then that was my only recourse. I just had to inform Dr Joson of my decision so he could schedule the operation. I also recognized the urgency because when asked for a deadline, Dr. Joson joked “kahapon ang deadline!” He advised me though to first discuss the treatment plan with my husband before making decision.
Notwithstanding my acceptance of the cancer diagnosis and treatment, I went home feeling low and worried. My anxiety led to sleepless nights and restless days. I had never undergone surgery. The thought of going under the knife horrified me. How would I dress-up properly or fashionably without one breast? Would losing one breast make me less of a woman? My daily routine, job, travels and other activities would surely be affected as well as my relationships with family, friends and peers.
To cope with my apprehensions, I turned to prayers and to God. I immersed myself with His Word. I prayed for the healing of my body, heart and soul. Since I wanted others to pray for me too, I did not keep the cancer diagnosis and treatment plan from my family and friends. Their expressions of love, encouragement and support could not be underestimated. To broaden my knowledge about this dreadful disease, I tried to read up on breast cancer.
God affirmed his power of healing and reinforced my decision to undergo surgery through a book entitled Miracles Do Happen by Briege McKenna, OSC. Every Friday, there was a tianggi held at the lobby of the Palacio del Gobernador, Intramuros where I used to work. The usual Items for sale were clothing, house ware and novelty items.
Strangely, there was a book sale that day. When I saw this book by McKenna with only one copy left, I bought it without hesitation. I browsed over it during lunch break. I was awestruck when I read pages 52 and 53 because I felt God was speaking to me through these lines. “There are times….the Lord does heal instantly. The Lord has his own reasons for healing one instantly and another over a period of time....there are two kinds of healings. To me a miracle is something that happens instantly and a healing is something that may be progressive, and may happen through medicine, through an operation, through continued prayer”.
I could not contain my happiness with such affirmation and hope of healing through an operation. I immediately informed Dr. Joson that I was confidently prepared for the procedure which he could schedule at once. I prayed for Dr. Joson and his team whom I trusted so much. I lifted everything to God.
The surgery went well on 3 June 1999 at 7:30 in the morning. When I woke up without my right breast, I knew it was malignant. The frozen section and final diagnosis in the histopathology report showed “Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, Right Breast”. After few days, Dr. Joson came to my room congratulating me on being negative for metastasis in all seven axillary lymph nodes. “Wala ako nasabi kundi maraming salamat po Diyos at hindi ito kumalat sa ibang parte ng katawan”! This was one of the happiest moments in my life. I praised God for the gift of a second life. I could not thank my beloved doctor enough for his never-ending support.
After the operation, I did not receive any additional anti-cancer treatments. There were also no hormonal testing like ER, PR and HER-2-NEU. Surveillance approach was symptom-and sign- directed.
I continue to see Dr. Joson for check-up and monitoring. Initially, it was every quarter, then thrice to twice a year and eventually to once a year or as necessary. During my last check-up in mid-2019, Dr. Joson declared that there was no evidence of recurrence. I am happy to be part of the ROJoson Cancer Crusaders Club and be listed in the ROJoson Registry of Cancer Survivors with 21 years of remission.
As a cancer survivor on remission, I always love to tell others that there is life after cancer. Cancer gave me a new perspective in life, to live it to the fullest with intention and meaning. I find joy and fulfillment whenever I reach out to cancer victims as I empathize with them, inspire them and give them hope by sharing my cancer experience.
I value life during remission because not everyone is given the chance of surviving cancer. My life is in God’s hand. So I stay connected to the Giver of life thru prayers and service in the church and community.
My remission years were a celebration of life. I saw my son finished college and topped the architecture board exam in 2006. After the operation, I went back to work, reached the peak of my career and retired in 2015. On official or personal capacity, I travelled to many countries in Asia, Europe, America and Africa including famous pilgrimage sites like Holy Land, Vatican and Santiago de Compostela. Various seminars/conferences brought me all over the Philippines. Our milestone high school and grade school reunions were memorable events. The much- awaited Annual Christmas Get Together of the Cancer Crusaders Club which I had only missed one, was always a fun-filled and inspiring occasion.
It was not always smooth sailing, though. I had to contend with the ups and downs of daily living, times of want and abundance, the pleasures and persecutions in the work place, the bliss and blisters of married life including the broken and restored relationships with family and friends.
Despite the long remission, still fear of recurrence of cancer hangs over my head like a sword of Damocles. Possibly undetected cancer cells remain in my body. I do not know if cancer is really gone or if some are slowly growing. Fears linger whenever I have back pains, headaches or coughs. Is there metastasis in the bone, brain or lungs? I surrender everything to God. I find solace in receiving Him sacramentally or spiritually in the Holy Eucharist, asking Him to cleanse my blood with His precious blood, to remove all the impurities – cancel cells, bacteria, viruses and other toxins in my body.
Health issues like hypertension, diabetes, asthma and other ailments add to worries and anxieties. Another is the fear of contracting the Covid 19 virus which seems to be a death sentence.
I overcome these apprehensions thru constant prayers. Focusing on positive things also helps. My coping mechanisms include going out and bonding with friends, traveling and visiting museums and heritages sites, engaging in hobbies, arts and crafts, walking at home or on the street for exercise. Unfortunately, most of these activities are no longer possible with the lockdown.
One thing is for sure, though. He watches over me. And I owe everything to Him.
Raidis J. Bassig
November 2020
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