What Is a Liquid??

On March 21, TSA’s official twitter account claimed that Peanut Butter is a liquid. TSA restrictions require carry on liquids to be 3.4 oz or less. The reasoning behind this is that a liquid takes a shape dictated by its container. Id like to argue that peanut butter does not do this. If I plopped peanut butter on a table, it would not spread out to the flat shape of the table. This classification is insane.

To add insult to injury TSA claims that Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches are a solid, and therefore there are no restrictions on the amount of peanut butter sandwiches. In high school I can remember specific people bringing in a jar of peanut butter for a snack. A standard Jar of peanut butter contains 18oz of spread. If you are a Peanut Butter snacker I’ve found a hack for you. In order to make up for the 14.6oz deficit, spread the peanut butter inside two slices of bread. This way you can bring all the peanut butter you want on the plane. I strongly advise to not eat the bread, just to show your defiance. Lick the Peanut Butter off the bread and chow down to the delight of all the other passengers.

Now, lets talk about all the things that might be liquids. If Peanut Butter is liquid, play dough must be considered a liquid. That now raises another question, should the slogan now be “Fun to play with not to Drink”? I think I like the eating better. (I’ve never actually ate playdough) Alright I admit this one is going to be dumb, but is a tomato a liquid or a solid? The outside is a solid, yet the inside is a liquid. I’m generally torn so fuck it I’ll conclude that it is a liquid. This last one I got some help. Jenny Holzer proposed the idea that a Cat is a liquid. Cats can conform to anything, and look cute doing it!