The UWF's Biggest Wrestler, By James
"I still can’t believe it!” I said in disgust, “How did they let this happen? Didn’t McDuff see this coming?”
I took another big swig of beer. Stone and Shane, two of my good friends, were sitting at the round wooden table with me in the corner of our favorite bar. All three of us were professional wrestlers, and we were discussing the big news just handed down this morning. The professional organization that employed us, the National Wrestling Order, had ceased business, finally losing the competitive war with our biggest rival. The Universal Wrestling Federation had more money and bigger stars, and our group, the N.W.O., could not compete for the TV ratings and top arena bookings.
“McDuff! That fucker wouldn’t know a good business deal from his own asshole!” Shane stated emphatically. “It’s amazing that the N.W.O. lasted as long as it did!” He turned in my direction. “So what are you going to do Edge?”
“I’ve already decided; I’m going back to personal training at Gold’s,” I replied. “You know, I made a lotta money that last year I was there. The hours do suck sometimes, but I figure I can do even better now that people know me.”
“Hey, that don’t sound too bad. And it’ll be easy to stay in shape for when the UWF calls.”
“So what are you gonna do Stone?”
“I’m planning on joining the UWF and when I do I’ll be the biggest mother-fuck they ever saw!” Stone claimed with a smirk.
Shane and I looked at each other and smiled. Stone was already “the biggest mother-fuck we ever saw”. Of course, we were all big; that was a part of our job. To be successful in professional wrestling, one needed to be hugely muscular. Our training was more complex and intense than top professional bodybuilders, as we needed flexibility and conditioning in addition to the extreme muscular development. We didn’t just stand there flexing and looking good; we were endurance athletes too.
So all of us spent many hours in the weight room. Shane and I had similar builds; each of us was about 6’1’’ and 235 pounds of lean muscle. But Stone was bigger. He carried about 260 pounds on his 6’3” frame. He wasn’t quite as lean and always had kind of a thick, blocky midsection that made his build somewhat less tapered. But he was strong as an ox and hard and received lots of fan mail from both women and men that considered him their fantasy. And I was one man that did consider Stone my fantasy. But as far as he knew, I was one of his macho, drinking buddies.
“Stone, what are you talking about?” “I’ve got a truckload of gear I’ve been waitin’ to use and now I’ve finally got the time for a serious cycle. I’ve heard about this new way to stack ‘em and I also got hold of this new kind of GH. It’s supposed to blow away the growth shit in the past for bulk.”
“You sure you need to get any bigger? You can barely walk into the ring as it is!” I joked.
This was quite and exaggeration but Shane and I liked to tease Stone about this. We were quicker than he, but not by much. Stone was very agile for his size.
“Hell, I can move like you guys but by the time I get to the UWF I’ll be a ripped 290... maybe 300 pounds! It’ll take maybe four months to get up to like 330, then I’ll trim back down to about 300 or so and I’ll be shredded!”
“Will you have enough time to do that?”
“Yeah, I don’t think we’ll hear from the UWF for at least 6 months or so. With the help I’ve got, it won’t take long at all to swell up and then get lean.”
“Sounds like a plan!”
______
It had been over a month since I’d last seen Stone. Supposedly, he was lifting weights like a madman and taking some serious amounts of drugs. We were meeting at a club that we frequented.
“Dude, what’s up?” I said to the big bouncer at the front door. He and I worked out together at the gym on occasion.
“Just keeping everyone in line here,” he replied, “How you been?”
“Good. Busy over at Gold’s now. Getting lots of clients these days.”
“I’m sure you are. Those pecs,” he noted and pointed at my very developed chest, “And that face; man, I’ll bet the ladies go nuts over you.”
“Yeah,” I answered, though not mentioning that “the ladies” wasn’t exactly what I was interested in. It did help business though.
“Say, have you seen Stone?”
“Oh yeah, he got here a while ago. He’s in there somewhere.”
“All right, take it easy man. I’ll catch you later,” I said and walked into the club.
The 668 Club was your typical bar that featured loud dance music and a lot of gorgeous men and women. I looked around the crowded, dark room to see if I could spot Stone. I didn’t see him right away so I headed for one of the bars. After ordering a bottle of beer I heard a familiar voice say, “Hey little Edge, what’s happenin’?”
I smiled and turned to face Stone. The big guy was wearing a tight, blue t-shirt underneath a fully unbuttoned shiny shirt with very short sleeves designed to display his enormous arms. He had on black slacks and black boots with silver coloring around the toes. His face seemed a little thicker and rounder and his dirty blond hair was longer than he normally had. But what was most noticeable was his size. He had gained a lot of weight in only a matter of weeks and his whole upper body was thicker than ever. What caught my eye though was a protruding gut where his relatively flat stomach had been. It curved way out in front of him, stretching out the tight tee and exposing just a sliver of belly above his belt. Stone looked as though he had one-half of a basketball under his shirt.
“Good to see you big guy,” I exclaimed a stuck out my hand.
“You too man,” he replied and completed a firm handshake.
I can’t believe how huge you’ve gotten… and so quick,” I noted and eyed him up and down, “What kind of shit are you on?”
“Everything, dude; everything including the kitchen sink,” He answered, “I think it’s the growth; I’m blowing up unreal man and my strength is through the roof!”
I pointed at his rounded out belly. “Yeah, you’re blowing up all right. Looks like you’re getting quite a gut there, buddy.”
“Yeah, it’s mainly just my abs getting thicker; it’ll go away when I start leaning up.”
“I don’t know man; you look like you swallowed a watermelon already and you’ve only been juicing for what… like 4 or 5 weeks?”
“But all the pro bodybuilders get a little heavier when they’re on a bulking up cycle!”
“That may be, but you’d better watch it.”
We hung out for a while longer and drank a few more beers. A young man walked up to us with a big grin on his face.
“Hey aren’t you Edge?” He looked at me and I nodded. “And you’re Stone, right?” He turned towards my big buddy.
“Dude you’ve gotten fuckin’ huge! What are you guys up to now? You gonna join the UWF?”
“Yeah probably; I’m workin’ at Gold’s now and Stone is…”
The young man interrupted before I could finish. “Oh, I can tell what you’ve been up to,” he states, then turns back towards Stone and points at the bulging gut, “You’ve been lifting and drinking. You must’ve put away some serious beer seeing the size of that belly now.”
“Nah, I’m just retaining a little water from all the supplements I’m taking,” Stone answers, winking at me when he said the word “supplements”.
“Sure looks like your retaining a few cases of Budweiser dude; you’d better slow down or the UWF won’t want your fat ass in there.”
“Oh, they’ll want me all right; I’ll be ready in a few months and I’m gonna kick some ass over there!”
The young man wished us luck as he left and Stone and I continued to talk, drink and watch the crowd.
On the way home, I couldn’t get the image of the bigger Stone out of my mind. I had always liked his body, though I never told him. The sheer thickness of his muscles was so attractive, and now his muscles were bigger than ever. But when I first saw the rounded gut, it didn’t seem right. But the more I stared, unbeknownst to him, the more I liked it. He SHOULD have a big gut I reasoned; not flabby, but oversized, hard and round just like the rest of his body. I knew he would get a least a little heavier before he trimmed down, but how big would he get?
“Have you seen Stone lately?” I asked Shane. We were both at the gym. I had just finished with my last client for the day and he was working his big chest.
“No, I haven’t seen or heard from him.” Shane replied. “You haven’t seen him here right?” I nodded and responded, “Right.”
“Word is he’s working out at some new place way outside the city; a lot of meatheads out there but I don’t know much about the place.”
“Well, I’m going to find out what’s going on,” I started, “I’m going over to his house tomorrow.”
“Don’t you have a lot of clients on Saturdays?”
“Yeah, but I already told them I’m not available and they’ve all rescheduled. I’m gonna see what Stone’s up to.”
I knocked on the door of the old brick house that Stone had bought a few years back, before he became a big star. It was a little dilapidated when he moved in, but a lot of work had made it very attractive.
“Hey, Stone are you in there?” I asked, “What’s up man?”
I thought I heard a noise but then nothing. I grabbed the large brass handle and tried to push down the lever. To my surprise the door was unlocked and I walked in to the foyer. “Hey, Stone, you home?” I shouted, “It’s Edge… hey...”
Another sound.
“Anybody here?”
A large figure began to appear from the shadows at the end of the hall. As it came closer I could see the details.
“Hey, what’s up?” Stone asked.
The largest man I had ever seen was standing in front of me. Stone was wearing and old pair of jeans and dusty boots. His muscles were as big as the reigning Mr. Olympia’s. Incredibly broad shoulders and thickness everywhere from his pecs to biceps to his forearms was evident. His face looked different too. Not only had it continued to get thicker, but his scraggly goatee was a little thicker.
Then there was his belly. It appeared that a large beach ball had been inflated inside his stomach. The monstrous gut was so perfectly round that it didn’t look real and his belly button looked like a grape was somehow glued to his stomach.
“Whaaa.. happened man?”
Stone placed his hand on his extensive belly shelf. “I don’t know. I’ve been getting’ stronger and bigger and it seemed like all of a sudden my gut just blew up like a fucking balloon or something.”
“You look like your going to be the wrestler float in the Thanksgiving Day parade. Did someone stick an air hose in your navel and turn it on full blast?”
“Shit, I feel like it!” He continued to pat the top of his huge gut. “I need to find out what’s happening here and get this fucker under control.”
I couldn’t believe my eyes. He looked like a cartoon, so out of normal proportion was his muscles and his gut.
“Did you talk to Brian about the gear you’re on? He knows a lot about that shit.”
“Uh, no I haven’t yet.”
“Hey, we can go over to the supplement store right now. He’s usually there on a Saturday.”
“Ok, let me get a shirt,” Stone replied and slowly went upstairs. In a way I did not want to have Stone discover the reason for his ballooning belly, because then he might reduce it. On the other hand, I was curious as to how he got so big so fast and at least I had an excuse to spend some more time with him and his incredible body.
I heard the heavy thump of Stone’s footsteps as he returned down the stairs. He looked awesome with an oversized red and black-checkered shirt covering his huge gut. The sleeves were cut-off so the muscles of his shoulders and arms were impressively visible and the shirt was un-tucked to try and hide the bulging belly.
“This is about all I have left that’ll fit”
“It does the job,” I replied with a smile, “Let’s roll.”
We pulled into the parking lot of the shopping center where the nutrition store was located. The shop specialized in supplements for bodybuilders and other athletes. Our friend Brian owned the place and was also very knowledgeable about the not-so-legal supplements that some bodybuilders were interested in.
“Hey, lets grab something to eat first,” Stone suggested and gestured towards a well-known restaurant that featured an all-you-can-eat pizza buffet.
“Dude, don’t tell me you’re hungry,” I replied, “You look like you’re stuffed already!”
“Nah, this thing is completely empty,” he noted and put his hand on top of the big gut, “I haven’t eaten at all today.”
I wasn’t about to miss an eating session by this huge stud so of course I did not dissuade him.
“Ok, lets go. We’ve got plenty of time.”
We walked into the large open restaurant, placed our orders and paid at the front then walked over to the seating area.
“How ‘bout over there, I pointed to a table in the middle of the approximately half-filled room.”
“Fine. I’m gonna get my first fill-up.” Stone agreed and headed towards one of the counters covered with a variety of whole pizzas.
Stone had ordered the standard all-you-can-eat special as expected, but I wasn’t hungry so I only chose a drink. I filled up my cup and went to sit down. Stone returned with a pile of pizza slices at least six inches high. He began to devour the food as if he had not eaten in days. I watched in awe as Stone would walk over to the counter, pile another five, six, seven slices of pizza on a fresh plate, return to the table, and practically inhale the entire stack in a matter of moments. This process was repeated over and over until the size of Stone’s stomach made it more difficult for him to move around.
The big muscular man leaned back in his chair and patted his now larger belly. “Oofff, I’m getting kinda full but I’m still hungry,” he said. “Can you go get me a few more slices?”
I noted the buttons were now straining to hold in his expanding belly. Bare skin was showing especially around the widest part of his gut’s curve. I walked over to a counter and begin to pile on the slices.
“Man, you’re buddy sure can put it away.” I turned to see an older man standing next to me at the buffet bar. “His gut’s blown up like a balloon; he looks like he could pop at any minute!”
“Yeah, he’s a big eater all right. And he claims he’s still hungry!”
I turned away and left the gentlemen with a surprised look on his face. Stone started to tear into the pizza the moment I placed the plate on the table. The stack of sausage pizza slices disappeared into the growing belly. The two buttons that had covered Stone’s gut at its widest point had burst loose. Now a large gap of bare tanned belly ball was visible. Stone leaned back in his chair and placed his hand on top of his huge gut. Could it be that the blimped-up wrestler was finally full?
“Go get me a dessert pizza... the chocolate brownie one,” he stated. I jumped up before he could change his mind and went to the counter at the end. I carefully selected the particular sweet pizza that Stone requested and pilled every slice of it high on a large plate.
The big wrestler polished off the stack and asked for more. I brought back another large serving of the delicious chocolate treat. Stone finished another six slices and then appeared to be done.
“Ooooo, I’m full now.” Stone commented, and then looked down at his stomach. “Shit, I’m a big as a house,” he exclaimed, realizing the size his belly had become.
It was true. Stone’s belly was a hugely rounded ball that had completely burst out of his shirt. The tattered red and black material was hanging down at his sides, framing the round spherical belly that jutted straight out into his lap. He struggled to stand up but managed to get his weight of the ground. After a few moments of uncertainty, he began to walk, leaning back to balance the heavy load in front. It was a slow heavy gait that took the big wrestler out the front door.
“Hey aren’t you Edge?” Stone and I were standing next to a pillar that supported the long covered walk that ran the length of the shopping center. I turned to see a very young but extremely muscular boy approaching us. He had a big grin on his face and a tight white tank top stretched over his very well developed torso.
He stuck his hand out as he got close to me. “Yeah, I’m Edge,” I answered and returned his handshake.
“You’re awesome man!” the teenage stud stated. “I still remember how you kicked the Nasty Boy’s ass! What are you doing these days?”
“Well, I’m working…”
“Shit, aren’t you Stone?” The young man interrupted as he stared at my fellow wrestler, watching Stone nod in the affirmative.
“No way! What happened to you? You're huge!" he continued.
“I’ve… uh… been bulking up while I’m taking some time off.”
“Dude, you look like you’re about to give birth to a 5 year old!” The young man continued to question the muscular man’s distended gut, “What’s in that fucker?”
Stone placed his hand on top of the big ball and replied, “A little too much GH in my last cycle; It’ll go away when I get lean again.”
“Man, I sure hope so. I ain’t never seen a belly like that… except on a pregnant horse!” The young man laughed and then turned back to me.
“Great meeting you guys. Hope to see you back in the ring soon!”
With that, he walked away.
“Maybe I should just head on back home,” Stone said as he stroked his extending belly shelf, I didn’t want anyone to see me like this. Now that I’ve popped outta this shirt, it makes my gut look really big!”
I smiled and thought to myself. Yeah, it’s the shirt that makes you gut look so big.
“But don’t you want to find out why your belly’s blown up so huge? I have a shirt in the back of my truck that I think you can wear; it’ll cover up most of your gut anyway.”
Stone seemed a little unsure of what he wanted to do, but he still followed me over to where I had parked.
“Take off what’s left of that poor material,” I said and leaned into the truck to get a replacement. Stone handed me the now ripped garment and I tossed into the back seat of the extended cab. I handed him an old straw cowboy hat.
“Put this on and no one will recognize you. The only way that guy knew it was you was that he was a diehard fan and he was standing right next to you.”
Stone took the suggestion. As I reached back into the truck to get a new shirt for the ballooning guy, I heard a voice say, “Oh my God, what a magnificent belly!”
I stood up to see a well-dressed man approach. Stone was leaning back against the side of the truck with his huge bare gut sticking straight out. The man had a big grin on his face and seemed very happy to see Stone.
“That,” he stated, pointed to the tan ball, “Is the biggest belly I’ve ever seen! It’s awesome!” He continued to talk excitedly as he moved closer.
He stood next to Stone and leaned in. “Don’t worry man, I won’t tell your secret. I’m a pumper too!”
Stone and I looked at each other quizzically, but the man didn’t notice. He was still staring at the giant belly before him.
“Do you mind?” he asked reaching his hand out.
Stone shook his head and said “Uh… no,” though he was not sure what the question was. The man began to pat and thump the bloated gut.
“Just as I thought… so tight. You’ve blown up so good,” the man continued. “You know some guy on the Internet told me that he could blow up his belly to the size of a beach ball, but I never believed it. But you… you really look like there’s actually a beach ball in your stomach!”
Then he turned to me. “So, did you pump him up?”
“Uh, yeah, I did,” I answered, not knowing exactly what he meant but thinking it would be fun to play along.
“Cool. Must have used an aquarium pump, right? That’s the only way to get really huge. How long did it take to get his belly this big?”
I wasn’t sure what a reasonable answer would be so I had to guess. “Oh, not too long.. about fifteen minutes.”
“Damn, that’s fast.” He turned back to the hugely swollen Stone and resumed poking the oversized gut. “Gettin’ that big that quickly, man; you must’ve been afraid your belly was gonna pop!”
“Uh… yeah, I…”
“Can I take a picture of you?” the man asked before Stone could finish. “I gotta capture that awesome belly of yours man!”
Stone frowned but was interrupted again before he could speak
“Look, I’ll pay ya big. Just let me get a couple of pics, man. I’ve got my camera in the car.”
“OK, tell ya what. You can take my pic for five hundred bucks.”
The man grinned. “It’s a deal” Stone looked surprised but the man ran off before he could respond. “I’ll get the money and my camera… I’ll be right back.”
With that the man jumped through a row of bushes that separated the parking lot from a gas station that advertised an ATM.
Stone turned to me, “Hell, I don’t want my picture taken when I’m all blown up like a blimp here. I never thought he’d go for five hundred!”
“Shit, dude,” I responded, “How else are you gonna make that kinda money for one minute worth of work? No one’s gonna recognize you now, and the extra cash won’t hurt!”
“Yeah, I guess your right. That is easy money.”
The belly fan was back quickly and Stone started to pose for his photo.
“No, not here,” the man stated, “I got an idea for a picture. Come this way.”
Stone and I followed the man back through the row of bushes and into the gas station parking lot. He led us to the area on the side of the brick building and up to a small metal object. The word “Air” was written in large yellow letters on the side of the red box. It was easily recognizable as the standard powerful air pump used to inflate tires.
“Now you stand over here,” the man instructed to Stone, positioning him near the pump.
“And you hold this,” He handed me the hose to the air pump. The man then backed away and began to look at Stone and myself through the camera lens.
“Now stick the end of the hose onto his belly button.”
A wide grin spread across my face as I held the end of the air hose against the big belly button. Now it really looked like Stone’s belly had been blown up like a gigantic balloon. What a great idea from the photographer! I continued to smile and pressed the end of the long tube against the oversized gut.
“Ok, big boy, look down at your huge belly and act surprised,” the belly lover instructed.
Stone contorted his face into an exaggerated look of shock and turned his head towards the ball belly. The practice he had at over expressing emotions during televised matches was evident. He placed his hands on the sides of the inflated balloon. I kept the end of the hose pressed against the protruding belly button and could hear the sound of the camera clicking away.
I was still holding the long black tube onto the giant gut when the man quickly walked over to the metal box. He flipped a couple of switches and the machine started to roar. ”Let go,” he shouted to me over the din of the pump. I complied and realized what had happened. He had turned on the pump, but had reversed the airflow; therefore the suction was holding the hose against the hugely rounded belly. With the pump humming, it certainly appeared as though the poor muscleman’s gut had been blown up like an actual giant balloon.
I stepped back and watched Stone’s reaction.
“Hey, what are doing to me? This is hurtin’ my gut!” He tried to reach out to grab the hose, but was having difficulty maneuvering around the massive ball.
The man was quickly snapping pictures and he and I were both laughing hard. Poor Stone was flailing about, trying to reach the hose attached to the protruding sphere sticking off his body.
Then a young man walked up to us. He wore a white shirt with the name “Henry” stenciled over the pocket, and was obviously an employee of the gas station.
“What the hell is going on here?” he demanded, still behind Stone.
“Fuck, man, what happened to your stomach?” Henry now was next to the bloated wrestler. “Your gut’s about to explode!”
The employee turned off the pump and the hose dropped to the floor. “What’s in that thing?” Henry asked.
“Uh, nothing,” Stone muttered, “I’m just a big guy these days.” He turned to me. “Let’s go.”
“Ok we’re leaving,” the inflation fan said, then faced Stone and myself. “I’ve got all the pictures I needed!” He handed Stone a roll of hundred dollar bills and gave the big guys’ belly one more pat. “Just awesome, man. Thanks for sharing!”
Stone and I headed back towards my truck.
“I’m outta here,” Stone stated. “I don’t want no one else to see me all ballooned up and shit”
“But how…,” I started to say but was interrupted by my cell phone ringing. I grabbed the small device out of my truck.
“Edge here,” I answered, speaking into the phone “Hey, what’s up? Yeah? Really? Cool man, that’s awesome! Yeah, actually, I’m with Stone right now. I’ll tell him. Later.”
I turned to the huge wrestler. “Great news, dude! The U.W.F. called and wants us both to come see them. We’re in man! We’re in!” I gave Stone a big “high five”.
“So when do they want to see us?” Stone asked, “Is it in a few months?”
“Noooo,” I replied with a grin. “In less than three weeks!”
“Holy shit! Three weeks!” Stone was somewhat panicked. “What can I do with this fucking gut in three weeks?” The big guy looked down at the round ball.
“Well, first we should go see Brian and find out what he thinks.”
“Okay, you’re right. I’d better talk to Brian or Rick about this before I do explode!”
Stone placed his hand on top of the bloated gut.
“You say you’ve got something I can wear that’ll cover this thing up?” he asked.
I winked at Stone. “Sure I do,” I replied, knowing that this was only partially true. “Let’s go!” I couldn’t wait to see the reaction of the bodybuilders at the nutrition store to the newly expanded Stone.
___________________________
Part II
___________________________
I reached into the back of the extended cab pick-up.
“Give this a try,” I noted and handed a shirt to Stone. The big guy pulled the garment over his head and let it hang down over his hugely over-developed torso. The shirt bowed out over his protruding belly and the hem at the bottom was much higher in the front than in the back. A good six inches of bare belly was showing.
“Damn,” Stone noted, looking down at the odd fit, “This is the best you’ve got?”
“Sorry, man, but that’s the biggest one I have. Your lucky it even covers that much of your gut!”
Stone just frowned as I continued.
“Let’s see what Brian has to say about this.”
We walked down the sidewalk and towards the store. It was a typical strip shopping mall; with each individual store a deep but narrow building. The front of each business was floor to ceiling glass with the store names on the brick wall above. We turned into the one with the big “Hero Nutrition” sign up top featuring a superhero logo under the name. Inside, the walls were covered with shelves containing various containers of protein supplements, vitamins, and all kinds of potions, powders and pills to assist a person in gaining muscle or losing fat. A few rows of shelves ran along the center of the building as well. I didn’t see anyone in the store except for a young, very muscular man wearing a tight white t-shirt in the corner. He was intently reading the label on a large plastic jug.
“Hey Brian!” I shouted, “You here?”
I heard a noise from the back storage room and a figure emerged. He was very tall and fairly muscular, but more of a swimmer’s build than a bodybuilders. Still, he was in very good shape and had some thickness for his height.
“Rick! Hey, man how’s it goin’?” I asked, “What ‘chu up to? Where’s Brian?”
“Nothing much man. Brian’s at the Parkway location; he should be here soon.” Rick worked for Brian and was very knowledgeable about supplements, legal and otherwise, so he might be able to help too. Then he noticed Stone.
“Hey, Stone, man, how’re you doin’? You’re looking super swole man!”
I realized that Rick could only see Stone from about the chest up as the shelves were still blocking his view. Wait until he gets a little closer, I thought. Rick passed the end of the row and got a full glimpse of the bizarrely inflated Stone. The tall guy let out a loud laugh.
“That’s killer funny man, your gut looks huge like that!” he continued to comment, “So what’s under there man? You know, it would’ve looked pretty real if you hadn’t made it so big!’
Now I realized what was happening. Rick thought Stone’s belly was a fake! But I could set the record straight.
I stood behind Stone and said, “This ain’t no Hollywood special effect! Check this fucker out!”
With that statement, I grabbed Stone’s shirt at the shoulders with both hands and yanked it cleanly off. The big wrestler was a little stunned but just stood there with his huge, bare belly sticking out. Rick did a double take when he saw Stone’s bloated gut.
“H-o-l-y s-h-i-t!” he stuttered, “What the hell is in that thing?”
By now the young man in the corner had walked over. He smirked and reached out to poke the giant ball. “That’s the biggest beer belly I’ve ever seen. Looks like a full pony keg would fit in there. No wait, a half barrel!”
“It’s not fat,” Stone protested, as he placed his hand on his extensive belly shelf. “My last cycle has just left me more bloated than usual!”
“More bloated?!?” Rick questioned, “Looks like you’ve swallowed a jumbo fitness ball!”
The group of us laughed at this, imagining one of the large white exercise balls somehow stuffed into Stone’s stomach. It was an appropriate comparison.
”Why don’t you measure his body fat,” the young man suggested, “Then we’ll see if he just has an incredibly fat gut!”
“There’s no way I could measure this thing,” Rick answered, and began to poke the balloon. “I need calipers the size of ice tongs or hedge clippers to stretch around this gut!” Rick’s expression changed slightly after he had touched the bloated belly.
“Hmmm…. I will say this though,” Rick continued, “The gut is pretty firm, so maybe there isn’t quite as much fat as it would seem by the size of it. Actually, it looks more like you’re retaining water. But… but… I’ve just never seen a belly stick out so much. What’s your diet been like?”
Stone grinned sheepishly. I’ve seen this look on bodybuilders before. It means that he was on a “stuff himself silly” diet. “Uh, you know, the usual,” Stone stammered. “Lots of chicken, eggs, meat, shakes… the high protein stuff.”
I thought that “meat” was pizza, cheeseburgers and hoagies and that “eggs” were triple cheese and sausage omelets, but I didn’t mention it. I wanted to hear what Rick had to say.
“Well, may be you ARE just retaining a lot of water, so…” Rick began.
“Yeah, him and the Hoover Dam!” the young man interrupted with a thump on the mighty gut.
Rick smiled. “Come back here and let’s see if we can’t get some of that water out of you before you pop like a balloon!”
The group of us followed Rick to the storeroom in the back. He handed Stone a one-gallon jug of distilled water. “Drink this, big guy,” Rick commanded.
“You want him to drink MORE?!?” the young guy asked in amazement. “He looks so full already!”
“Yeah, that’s the way it works,” Rick answered. “Drinking lots of water flushes your system keeps you from retaining it.”
Stone was familiar with this theory, so he began to drink. I wasn’t sure how much he could swallow remembering all that pizza he had just stuffed into his huge stomach. I was surprised though when he quickly finished off the entire container.
Rick took the empty jug from the bloated stud. “How do you feel?” he asked, “Need to piss?”
“Uh, no, not really,” Stone replied and put his hand on top of his gut. “I feel okay. Nothing unusual.”
“Hmm.. okay, well, maybe it’ll just take a little more.” Rick then handed Stone another gallon jug.
Stone put the end to his mouth and again began to drink. How can he be so thirsty, I thought. It’s like he hasn’t had anything to drink in days!
It wasn’t too long before this container had been drained as well. “Damn, that dude’s like a fuckin’ camel,” the young man noted, “’Cept his hump’s in front!”
I laughed at this but Rick was more serious. “So, how do you feel now? Full? Bloated?”
“I’m a little bloated, but I don’t feel like I have to piss yet.” Stone answered, “When’s that gonna happen?”
“You sure you don’t need to piss? You look really swollen now!”
Stone was definitely bigger around then when we entered the shop. It was hard to believe his belly could be larger, or that he could hold anymore. Then Rick got out another jug.
“He’s going to pop if you give him any more,” the young man noted, “Stand back!”
Stone calmly grabbed the jug of water and began swallowing. I thought I could see his belly growing before my eyes, but maybe it was my imagination. What was real though was that he finished off another gallon in a short period of time.
“Ok, NOW, you’ve gotta be about ready to burst,” Rick wanted to know, “You need to take a leak?”
Stone placed his hand on his hugely rounded gut. “Urrpp… I feel a little more bloated, but I… urrrpp.. don’t really need to piss.”
“Damn! What’s wrong with you man? Rick demanded, “That ain’t right. You’re as big as a pregnant hippo, but you say you’re fine? What’s up with that?”
Before Stone could answer, we heard the front door open and close. I watched the handsome man walking down one of the aisles towards us. It was Brian, the owner of the store and one of the best-looking men I knew. His face was one of a movie star, but his body was much bigger; thickly muscular, with noticeably bulging biceps.
“Hey, Brian, what’s up?” I called out as he got a little closer.
“Edge, good to see… what the fuck?” Brian interrupted his initial thought in mid sentence. “Stone, what happened to your stomach?”
The big bodybuilder had seen our inflated wrestler and his oversized belly, seemingly on display in the middle of the room.
“I was going to ask you that,” Stone replied, looking down at his gut. “Something didn’t go quite right with my last cycle!”
Brian reached out, touched the swollen sphere and just stared.
“See, I thought it was just some water retention,” Rick stated, “So I had him drink some water. But he’s gone through three of these and nothing’s happened except he’s gotten even bigger!” The tall man had held up one of the empty jugs, then put it back down. “What should we do next?”
“Well, I know what,” Brian said, “First, lets get this fucker outside.” He began to steer the wrestler and his belly towards the back door.
“What for?” I asked, but followed them to the exit.
Brian replied, “Look at the size of that gut! It could blow at any minute! I wanna get him out of here before he bursts like a cheap toy balloon!”
We all moved outside, though it wasn’t too easy for Stone. He had to maneuver his super swollen stomach through the door and out onto the pavement behind the store. Brian led the big guy over to a large wooden bench and sat him down.
”So, a few gallons of water didn’t do the trick, “ Brian asked as he put his hand on Stones extensive belly shelf, “Looks to me like it is a lot of water retention. Maybe it just wasn’t fast enough.”
Stone had a quizzical look on his face. “What do you mean? What are you going to do?”
“I’ve got an idea. I think this’ll work.”
Brain got up and walked behind Stone. He grabbed the hose that was hanging from a hook on the concrete wall. The gorgeous guy reeled off a segment of hose and stepped up to the bench just behind Stone. Then he began to feed the end of the hose into Stone’s mouth.
“Just swallow,” Brian instructed.
The wrestler was surprised to find the hose going into his mouth but he followed the command. Once Brian had the hose well down into Stone’s throat, he stepped back and reached down to the faucet. We all watched as Brian turned on the handle. First we heard the squealing of the air, then water, flow through the hose. Stone’s giant gut reacted immediately. First, the sides of the giant sphere bowed outward even more. Then the shelf of his belly pushed upward. The group of us, including Stone, was amazed at the speed of the growth. The entire giant gut swelled in every direction, becoming an even larger perfect ball.
“Shit, that’s enough,” the young man stated, “That things’ gonna burst!”
“No way he can hold anymore,” I said, getting more nervous, “Shut off the water Brian; quick, man, before he pops!”
Even Brian realized that Stone’s gut was getting too big, so he quickly moved back to the wall and turned the faucet off. I stepped closer to Stone and slowly removed the hose from his mouth. The hugely bloated wrestler face had turned a little red and his eyes were bigger around than unusual. I don’t think he could believe what had happened either.
“Hey, how do you feel, big guy?” I asked and put my hand on top of his gut, “That’s one hell of a belly you’ve got there.”
”Yeah, you look like you swallowed a Volkswagen,” Rick chimed in. “Ufff…. I… feel like it,” Stone stammered.
“Let’s get the blimp up on his feet and see what happens,” Brian suggested. It took three of us to lift the heavy hunk to a standing position. First he rocked forward, then back and finally steadied himself with some help. He placed a hand on each side of the enormous ball and took a couple of steps.
“Shit, it’s hard just moving around with this thing. Brain, what the hell did you do to me?”
Brian, and the rest of us as well, stared at the obsecenly distended gut. “So, how do you feel?” he asked, “You must feel like you’re about to explode. I’ll bet you need to take a massive leak!”
“Uh… no… not really,” Stone replied, “I fell kinda bloated but not as bad as it looks,” he noted and gestured towards his astonishing gut. “I don’t really need to piss though.”
“I can’t fucking believe it!” Brian was nearly shouting, “You’re blown up like the Goodyear Blimp with water; you look like a cartoon; no human male could get a belly so ridiculously large and yet nothing seems to be happening! I just don’t get it!”
“I don’t know man,” Stone replied, “I was really thirsty; maybe it from all the pizza. But I…”
“What pizza?” Brian interrupted.
“Man, you should have seen him put it away,” I explained, “We were at that pizza place just over there and Stone was shoveling it in like he had eaten in weeks! He must’ve gone through a half dozen whole pizzas at least!”
“You dumbass, then that’s it!” Brian explained, “You ate all that dough with phenomenal amounts of salt, then wonder why you’re retaining water?!? Man, nothing will get all that water out now. Your just going to have to wait until you deflate down naturally.”
Stone had a look of concern on his face. “How long is that going to take?”
“Oh, with all that salt in there? It’ll take hours for the swelling to go down!”
The big wrestler furrowed his brow. “But I’m going to the concert at Mickey’s tonight. I can’t go all blown up like this!”
“Well, if you didn’t eat enough pizza to feed an army, you wouldn’t be so huge! You’ll deflate down some, but it’ll take some time.”
Stone placed his hands on either side of the spectacular sphere. “I need to get this thing home and give it a rest”
“Maybe you should go to the vet; see if they can do a c-section and get that baby colt our of your stomach.” We smiled at the thought of Stone being a pregnant horse, and then I turned to help the big guy leave.
The two of us slowly walked towards my truck. We stayed at the back of the shopping center so few people would see us, at Stone’s request. I swore I could hear Stone’s overfull belly sloshing as he walked.
“Hey, you want to go to the concert tonight?” Stone asked me. I knew that Mickey’s was a large dance hall that featured country music acts. Although that type of music wasn’t my favorite, I didn’t mind it and I sure wanted to see Stone some more.
“Yeah, who’s playing?” I asked.
“John Michael Anniston,” Stone replied. “He plays that new country, kinda southern rock like. John Michael’s not that well known yet, but it’ll be a good show.”
“Sure, sounds good. I can pick you up if you want.”
“Nah, I’ll meet you there. I want have as much time as possible to get this thing deflated down to a manageable size.”
By now we had reached my truck. We each got in and I watched as Stone struggled to get comfortable in the passenger side.
“Shit, man,” stone noted, “ I barely can fit my belly in here!’
It was true. He was a big guy anyway and certainly did not leave much room in his half of the cab normally. But his giant gut dominated the space, touching the inside of the door on one side and hanging out over the stick shift on the other. The top front of the sphere just brushed the glove compartment. It was as if a giant beach ball was wedged into the seat and this muscular body was trapped behind it.
I dropped Stone off at his house, and carefully watched him waddle up to the door. He turned and waved just before he went in, giving me one more glorious profile view of the incredible ball belly. It just barely fit through the door as he went inside. I drove away. What will he look like tonight?
I was excited when I drove into the parking lot of Mickey’s. The club was in a large building that had formerly held a Winn-Dixie. The surroundings were typical of what one would find around a big chain grocery store. A few businesses on either side, mostly smaller, with a sprawling parking lot in front. A covered walkway ran the entire length of the front of the building. I spotted Brian’s SUV in the parking lot and pulled up next to it.
“Hey, man,” I said to Brian as I opened my truck door and stepped out, “Any signs of Stone yet?”
He smiled. “No, no blimp sightings yet. Maybe I should be looking up in the sky.” “He did get awfully big, didn’t he?” I asked, still grinning.
”Dude I swear, I’ve never seen a belly like that on anything. Even farm animals don’t get that huge when they’re about to give birth.”
I noted a red, full-sized pick-up pull into the parking lot and head our way. It looked like the vehicle that Stone drove; big and noticeable, just like him. When he got closer, I recognized the face at the wheel. The truck pulled into a space near us and the driver emerged.
Stone was wearing the same straw cowboy hat he had on earlier. A tight white t-shirt was stretched across his huge upper body. I was surprised to see a cigar in his mouth; I didn’t know that he smoked cigars. But I could not see anything below his massive pecs as the sides of the truck bed were blocking the view.
Soon he came around the corner. Both Brian and I were amazed at the sight. His belly had not deflated. The white t-shirt could not cover the entire gigantic sphere of his gut with the bottom third of the curve exposed. He had on tight jeans and somehow a brown belt fastened underneath. It looked to be the same jeans and belt he had on earlier; maybe he couldn’t get them off?
He slowly walked towards us with a sheepish grin on his face. “Damn, man, you’re still a fucking blimp!” Brian said.
“Hell, yeah, man,” Stone replied, “After all that water you and your asshole partner pumped into me… yeah, I am still bloated up to the size of a whale.”
“I’m surprised you made it out tonight,” Brian asked, “You can barely move around.”
”I’m not going to let a big gut stand in the way of doing what I want. I can handle it.”
The three of us walked towards the entrance, going slowly so that Stone and his oversized gut could keep up. We walked in, paid the cover and started past the bouncer at the front. “Shit, man, is that you Stone?” the bouncer asked, then saw Stone nod in the affirmative.
“What happened to your gut? You look like you swallowed the Budweiser Blimp!”
Stone frowned, and rubbed his giant belly. He seemed to do this regularly, I noticed.
“Just went a little too far with my last cycle, man,” Stone defended himself. “I’ll get back on track here soon.”
The bouncer punched Stone’s gut as he passed. “Damn, it’s like a giant water balloon! You know, we got beer here; you didn’t have to bring a whole fuckin’ keg inside your stomach!”
The three of us walked into one of the main rooms and up to the bar against the far wall. It wasn’t too crowded, but a moderate number of men and women were milling about. Most did a double take when they saw Stone walk by. It was fun looking at the shocked expressions on their faces as the gigantic belly ball went past. Stone went up to the bar and ordered the “Super Pitcher”, an unusually large container of one of their cheaper beers. He then turned to us and said, “What’re you guys havin’?” Brian and I looked at each other with a grin. The whole pitcher was for Stone not the three of us. We then each ordered a bottle of beer. We stood off to the side of the bar and watched the stage being set-up for the concert. I couldn’t keep my eyes of the profile of Stone with his massive spherical gut sticking straight out into the room.
“I didn’t know you smoked cigars,” I commented to Stone as he took another puff between chugs of beer.
“Not usually,” he replied, “I just didn’t want too many people to recognize me and I thought it might take the attention away from my super bloated gut here.”
He looked down at the remarkable ball and smiled. “OK, maybe that was wishful thinking,” he commented, realizing just how big he was.
The concert was good. The types of songs that John Michael Anniston performed were enjoyable, mostly upbeat, and he connected with the crowd. I could not help but notice that Stone spent most of the time drinking pitcher after pitcher of beer. How could his already hugely bloated gut hold anymore? But he must have put away five or six of the big servings during the show.
After the lights came back up, people starting milling around. We walked over towards another large room in the club where a group was gathering. After stepping out of the main concert hall, we could see what was happening.
A pretend “bull” was set-up for people to ride. It was not a mechanical bull, like some bars featured or that I’d seen in the movies. It was a large somewhat barrel shaped object that had been transformed to look like a torso of a bull. There were four long ropes that were anchored to the bull and then to a sturdy post. The four posts formed a square with the bull in the middle. A guy was stationed at each rope, standing near one of the posts. An announcer was asking for volunteers to come “ride the bull” over the loudspeakers. I was surprised to see Stone walking towards the bull.
“Alright, our first rider of the night. And damn, he’s a big one!”
The crowd gasped as the full spectacle that was now Stone sauntered up to the pretend bull and slowly hoisted himself up.
Numerous comments came from the bar patrons around me: “Look at the size of that gut!” “That dude looks like he’s swallowed a cow!” “What’s inside that thing - he’s gonna pop!”
Stone had a big grin on his face as the young men began to move the ropes up and down, thus starting the bull to “buck”. However, Stone was so heavy that he barely moved. He must have guessed this was going to happen before he went up there. The big wrestler sat up there like the king of his world in the saddle; big chest and arms flung back and his hugely bloated belly setting in his lap. He only needed to hold on with one arm, reaching somewhere under his gut and waving to the crowd with the other.
But an interesting thing happened. Several huge guys walked into the area and pushed aside the smaller men holding the ropes. The new movers were obviously much stronger than the ones they replaced. Stone stopped waved and looked a little apprehensive as the big guys began lifting up the rope.
The new movers also were more coordinated with their motions. Soon, Stone was moving up and down and was looking more nervous. As the up and down movement increased of the bull, so did the up and down movement of Stone’s freakishly bloated gut. Stone had to reach around the big ball and place both hands somewhere underneath to hold on.
But now the motion was more violent. The giant liquid filled sphere would rise up, causing the belly shelf to not just stick straight out, but up and then out. Then the ball would settle back down in the big wrestler’s lap. Stone’s face looked a little white, as all that liquid sloshing around must not have felt good.
The crowd was cheering for Stone to continue and was amazed at the sight of his belly’s movement. I could swear I could hear the sloshing even from where I was standing.
“Watch that belly fly!” and “It’s gonna bust open!” were heard shouted from the room.
Stone obviously could take no more. He took one of his hands out from under his gut, releasing his hold, and placed it on top of the sphere. It was his only hope to get the sloshing under control before he became really sick. But one hand was not enough to keep his weight balanced on the now “bucking” bull. Soon he began to slip and he, his muscles and his giant belly slipped off the bull and the big guy ended up in a heap on his back on the floor.
Brian and I rushed to his aid, as did a couple of the rope handlers. “Man, that’s quite a gut you’ve got there buddy,” one of the handlers noted, as he patted the sphere sticking up into the air, “I’d swear it was going to pop there at the end and send a flood of beer throughout the place.”
“His gut may be huge,” I noted and began to help Stone to his feet, “But it can take a lot… of beer and punishment!”
“You gonna be alright?” one of the other handlers asked, “Yeah… I… just… need to get… up.” Stone answered as he reached an upright position. The crowd cheered when he got up then focused their attention on the next contestant. Meanwhile, Brian and I started to help Stone walk away.
“I’m… gonna… puke…” Stone said, “I… need… to rest… this fucker.”
We let the big guy lean on us as we lead him to a large wooden bench. He sat down and leaned his head back slightly. I sat next to the bloated stud and gently patted his huge gut. “That was amazing. I’ve never seen a gut move like that. It was like a water balloon the size of a truck tire in there!”
Stone just moaned. We let him sit still for a few moments, before I asked if he was feeling better.
“Yeah, a little,” he replied, “I just wanna get out of here now.”
We again helped the big guy to his feet and stood on either side as he walked towards the door.
”See ya later, dude,” the bouncer that recognized him stated, “Hope the triplets are healthy!” The bouncer could not resist another poke at the gigantic ball, which made poor Stone wince. “OOOffffff,” was all the inflated wrester could respond.
We made sure that Stone got to his truck and was okay to drive. After Stone pulled away, I went to my own truck and got in. I started to think. Now how is Stone going to at least get his gut under control in order to try out for the U.W.F?
I unlocked the front door of the gym and entered. Quickly flipping the light switch on, I walked past the empty front desk area and towards the back of the building. Stone and I were going to rehearse tonight in the boxing ring at the gym. We usually worked on our moves after the gym closed so as not to be interrupted by fans.
The boxing ring was off to one side at the back of a large room. A row of exercise bikes and treadmills was against the wall and an elongated area full of weight equipment was in front. I turned on the rest of the lights and walked over to the treadmill.
I stepped onto the apparatus and began a slow jog. After a couple of minutes, I took my t-shirt off and placed it on the rail at the side. I was already wearing my wrestler tights, so I was ready to practice after my body was warmed up.
I had not seen Stone in over a week, not since that night at Mickey’s. I could still picture his giant gut, flopping up and down on the “bull” in the bar. He’s been working hard to get his gut down, I thought; how much weight has he lost?
Just then I heard the front door open. Then a loud booming voice yelled, “Hey, Edge, I’ll be right there!”
Stone had recognized my truck in the parking lot, so he knew I was here. He was probably going to the locker room first to change, and then come out to the ring. I stepped off the treadmill and walked over to the ring.
Then the big guy enters the room. He was only wearing a pair of wrestling tights like I was. Of course, I checked out his gut right away. It was definitely not as big as it was when he left Mickey’s, so the water and beer bloat was gone. But I thought for sure that it was larger than it was when I first saw him at his house. Had he not lost any of the actual muscle and fat that his so hugely rounded belly consisted of?
“Hey, Stone, how’re you doing?” I asked.
“Okay,” he responded. “I’ve finally deflated down a bit.”
“Yeah, you don’t look as big as you were at Mickey’s. I was a little afraid your belly was going to explode that night”
“Man, I felt like it! I thought I was going to puke, but I just pissed for about two hours straight and that got all that beer and water out. But my gut’s still pretty big though… lets see if I can move around with it!”
We climbed into the ring and did a little stretching by hanging onto the ropes. After a minute or two, we agreed we were ready to start.
Our routines were well choreographed. Each of us knew exactly what to do to make the audience think that the hitting was intense and painful. One of my special moves was to jump off the top rope, land on my opponent’s back, and knock him to the ground. Sometimes though the plan was that the other wrestler would jump out of the way at the last minute and I would crash “painfully” to the hard mat. Then I was easy prey to get pinned. We practiced this move. I landed on the floor with an exaggerated thud that echoed through the empty building. Stone than bent down over me with intentions to apply one of his signature “holds” that I could not escape from. But I could not help but laugh when he knelt down over me.
“What’s so funny, little boy?” Stone asked.
“It’s your dirigible of a belly… it’s so big it’s throwing a shadow over me,” I responded, still laughing. “It’s like watching old footage of the Hindenberg coming in for a landing. I hope you’re gut’s not full of hydrogen… or BOOM!”
“Oh yeah? Well it’s coming in! You’d better take cover!”
With that, Stone stuck his belly out completely over my body. With the big wrester on one side of me, his gut would reach all the way across to the other. Then he lowered the giant ball, so that it was covering my face and chest. I could not believe the size of this one body part.
“Urrphh..,” I mumbled, “You’re… smothering… me… with your gut.”
“Still making fun, huh? How do you like it now?”
Stone then stood up. I looked up and saw a big smile on his face. Actually, I would not have been able to see his mouth, or head, or chest if he had not turned sideways, as his gigantic belly would have blocked the view. I smiled back and our eyes seem to meet for a second. Then he turned and said, “Okay, now you try to pin me.”
I jumped up and we continued to work on what we had rehearsed numerous times in the past. It was not easy though to do some of the routines we had before. Stone was so much heavier; I could not move him as easily as in the past. I struggled to lift him into the air, at least a little bit, and “slammed” him to the mat. The entire boxing ring shook like I had never felt it before. “That’s the sound of 400 pounds hitting the floor!” I exclaimed with a grin.
Stone lay there, with a sly smile on his face. I dropped down to the mat but instead of bracing my arm against his face or neck to “pin” him, I draped my arm across his huge gut and began to push in. “Now I’ve got you. With just one of my hands plus the weight of your own giant belly, no way you’re getting up!”
Stone surprised me. He didn’t try a typical counter move; he just laughed. Then the big guy sat up, bracing himself with his huge arms out to each side. It could not have been that comfortable given the size of his gut. “I’ve got a bit of a confession to make,” he blurted out.
“What’s that?” I asked, not knowing where this was going.
“Well, umm, I’ve decided that I, well, kinda like my belly.”
I couldn’t believe it at first. Did he say what I thought he said? “You like your belly?”
“Yeah, at first I really freaked when I realized how huge I’d gotten; but now I kinda like being so big.”
“You, know I don’t disagree. You’ve always been a man’s man with that muscular thickness that most of the rest of us don’t have. And now you’re even bigger; huge biceps, huge pecs and a huge belly.”
“You think so?”
“Hell, yeah. You’re the extreme, over sized version of the macho man. Nobody has biceps as big and round as you and nobody has a gut as big and round as you!”
“That’s great! I’m glad you feel that way,” Stone said and started rubbing his spherical belly. “But how can I keep my gut really big and still get back into the U.W.F.?”
“Well, we’ll just have to think of a new character for you, that’s all. One that has a huge belly for some reason.”
We both just sat there, stared at Stone’s massive belly ball and thought. Finally Stone piped up. “How about a pregnant guy? We could say that in my absence from wrestling that Missy got me pregnant and now I’m due with twins… Or maybe one of the bad guys did it?”
I chuckled. “You certainly do look pregnant, with twins at least. But you can’t stay pregnant permanently. And I don’t think that kind of story line would go over very well with our redneck fans.”
“Yeah, I think you’re right.”
“Wait a minute. Redneck fans,” I almost shouted, “that may be it! What do most of our fans look like?”
“Well, I don’t know. Uh, you know they’re mostly good-ole-boys, average joes, blue collar worker types. Seems like a lot are big guys, maybe old high school athletes but that have a beer gut now.”
“Exactly. A lot of them are big muscular guys that have a beer belly now… like you! But none are as big as you. You would be their hero!”
Stone started to smile. “Yeah, I’d just be a bigger, and better looking, version of themselves.”
“They could always point to you and say, “Hey, my gut may be big but it’s not as big as Stone’s!””
We were both excited about this idea. “Now we just have to come up with the details and sell it to the U.W.F. guys!” I stated.
The administrative assistance led me into the large corner office of the Universal Wrestling Foundation’s headquarters. The two interior walls were paneled and the other two were mostly glass. The office was arranged with a desk at one end with several chairs clustered around it. Shelves lined the lower portion of the wood covered walls and featured various types of trophies mixed in with more typical office knick-knacks. The only unusual feature was that one end of the long rectangular room did not contain any furnishing, but was mostly open space.
The President of the organization, Mr. Wolf, was seated at the desk. One of his senior managers was standing in the middle of the room.
“Come on in, Edge,” Mr. Wolf said, “Thanks for coming.”
“Thanks, Mr. Wolf,” I answered, “It’s good to be here. Thanks for inviting us.”
“This is Mr. Benson, our Vice President of Talent and Operations.”
I shook Mr. Benson’s hand and nodded.
“You look really good,” Mr. Wolf noted, “Kept yourself in great shape I see. So where’s Stone?”
“He’s outside,” I replied, “I want to tell you a little about our idea before he comes in.”
Okay, shoot.
“Remember when we watched wrestling as a little kid? For those of us that grew up in the South, we looked up to the guys that were just like us. Hacksaw McDougal. The Rock-n-Roll Express. And of course, the grandfather of southern wrestling, Dusty Rhodes. “
Mr. Wolf seemed to be listening intently so I continued.
“Well, we’re missing that today. The rural, blue-collar fan is the foundation of our business, yet we don’t give him anybody to identify with. So he can say... hey, that guy’s like me! Of course, we still want our wrestlers to be attractive with a hugely muscular build, but nonetheless someone that the average redneck can kinda relate to.”
“So what are you proposing?”
“STONE! COME IN!” I shouted.
The door opens in walks the massive Stone. The hugely inflated wrestler is wearing tight faded jeans and brown cowboy boots. He has on a baseball cap with the Caterpillar Tractor Company logo on it, and a half t-shirt with a Confederate Flag design unbelievably stretched across his overdeveloped pecs. In between the shirt and the jeans was the giant belly balloon that Stone has grown, sticking straight out into the room.
Mr. Wolf jumped up from his desk and literally ran over when he saw Stone. Mr. Benson stepped over with a stunned expression on his face.
“I’m suggesting that Stone and I wrestle under the name “Dixie Boys”. Every redneck in the arena will be able to identify with him; the big chest and arms, but the big ole beer belly too.”
“Beer belly?” Mr. Wolf stammered, “BEER BELLY? What the hell happened to your stomach son? That’s the biggest thing I’ve ever seen and I’ve been on safari!”
Mr. Benson approached and gingerly touched the swollen sphere. He looked up at Stone’s face then again down at the incredible ball. The executive gave the belly a gentle poke. “It’s firm, not soft at all. Just firm... and huge! What’s inside it?”
“Well, let’s just say that Stone was taking some “special” supplements and his muscles got huge, but there was a side effect.”
“Can you even move with that thing? He won’t fit into the ring!”
“He moves pretty well. And yeah, his gut is gigantic, but think about it; he’s what every guy in the audience is going to say he looks like. None of them are that muscular or that good-looking, but when they see that huge gut, they’ll think, ‘Hey, he’s one of us. He’s a good guy, just loves his beer.’”
“So you’re saying that the guys will really identify with the only wrestler that has a bigger belly than they do. But one that’s hugely muscular that they would want to be like.
“Exactly. So what do you think?”
“Well, it’s not what I had in mind when I talked to you over the phone. But it is different and we can always use a new angle. Tell you what; I wanna see you two workout and work together, but I think we could use you on the next short tour.”
I looked as Stone and grinned. “Alright!”
Mr. Wolf reached out to pat the gigantic belly balloon. “I still don’t know how this thing could get so big, but if you can carry it around then we’ll try it out!”
Stone and I were standing in one of the lower hallways of the Knoxville Civic Center. The walls were plain concrete block and the floor was concrete as well. We could hear the nearly twenty thousand fans in the arena screaming as their favorite wrestlers were introduced. I looked at Stone and his obscenely overdeveloped body. We had been right in our meeting with Mr. Wolf. The fans loved our new characters and Stone’s freaky muscles and gut. I used the name “Johnny” and Stone now wrestled as “Billy Ray”, two good southern names. When the “Dixie Boys”, as we were now known, would enter the ring to an old Lynyrd Skynyrd song blasting through the sound system, the crowd went crazy.
“Hey, be careful out there, will ya?” one of our opponents said as he walked past, “Don’t hit me to hard with that gut of yours… I might pass out!”
His partner, our other opponent, stopped for a moment on his way to the ring. “Man, I just can’t get over the size of that thing.” He patted the giant ball. “I don’t get it; you’re a fuckin’ freak man, belly blown up like a blimp, but the crowd loves it!”
“What can I say, man,” Stone replied, as the wrestler continued to study the amazing sphere. “The ladies want to be with me and the guys want to be me! Uh, hold on there, looks like a couple more fans want to see me!”
An official from the arena was escorting a 40ish year old male and a woman, presumably his wife. She was attractive with long blond hair and wearing a tight baby doll t-shirt. He was muscular but had a rounded beer belly that stretched out a black Harley Davidson t-shirt.
The official said, “Hey, Billy Ray, got a couple of fans here that really want to meet you. Got a minute?”
Stone never said no to a fan if he could help it. “Sure, but just a minute. Got to get out there, you know.”
The man in the Harley shirt placed a hand on his gut, then reached and started to pat the hugely swollen stomach sticking out between them. “Dammmnnn, that’s the biggest belly I’s ever seen. It looks like a damn barrel’s in there. I wish I could drink as much beer as you can!”
“”I’m sure you can hold some beer,” Stone replied. “I’ll bet you do yourself proud!”
The fan smiled and asked for an autograph. Meanwhile, the man’s wife was starring at “Billy Ray”; first his belly, then his biceps, his face, and then back to his belly. She might be shy about it, but it was obvious that she really liked Stone’s look, enormous gut and all.
Stone signed the autograph and the couple left, but not before each had given Stone a “good luck pat” on the bloated belly.
I turned to Stone and smiled. We could hear the song “What’s Your Name” beginning to play on the highly cranked sound system. “That’s our cue!”
We started to jog towards the main entrance to the arena, which would lead down the ramp and up to the ring. I was still fun to watch Stone “jog” but he carried that huge amount of weight well.
“WE”RE GONNA ROCK TONIGHT!” Stone yelled as we approached the entrance.
I thought about Stone, his gorgeous belly, the performance in the ring tonight and our celebration afterward.
Yeah, I said to myself with a big grin on my face, we’re gonna rock tonight.
The End