The Man I was Always Meant to Be

Todd sat in his underwear, a cosy blanket pulled up around his lap before the pale glow of his softly humming computer. Although outwardly his pale and unremarkable body was the picture of bored composure, inside his body was a raging fire. He had been browsing the net, looking for anything to help alleviate the boredom and apathy that he had been feeling for the last chapter of his life. Porn wasn’t what he was looking for, nor was looking up random guys on Grindr. Todd wanted change. The kind of change that wasn’t possible given the current state of the universe as he understood it. He wanted, more than anything in the world, to live as he has always felt inside. Although on the surface he was a meek and reserved man, with a body that was squarely in the “unremarkable” category, the persona that burned deep inside him was anything but. He was rough and crass, the kind of man who got things from people without any questions asked - a dom, a master.

The lot he had been dealt in life, however, had made it nearly impossible for him to let his inner self out. He was a child of conservative parents who had taught him to be polite and kind, and their teachings were deeply imprinted on him. What was more, twenty-three years spent as a meek and slight man had only served to further lock up the desire he held deep within? That was why he was burning so intensely inside himself at the sight of the app he had just downloaded.

It was stupid. The idea of being able to change himself or anyone around him with the click of the mouse and a few strokes of the keys. He had been around the weirder parts of the internet long enough to know that the fantasy of transformations was just something some people were into. The app was more than likely just a byproduct of that, a way for those kinds of people to better immerse themselves in their fantasy. Still, the way that he had found the download link whispered in his ear that there was a tiny, almost nothing but not quite chance that the app was real.

He had just opened up his browser and meant to go to google when the site popped up all on its own. Swirling runes dotted his screen and a rumbling chant in a language that rang uncomfortably had poured from his speakers. He had lost himself in the swirling and chanting, and the next thing he knew, he was starting at the app pulled up on his desktop. Searching his history, trying to find the site again, neither had turned up any results. It truly was as if the site had just popped up.

The app was simple enough. At the moment, it was nothing more than a purple window and pale white search bar. With a deep exhalation, Todd moved his mouse over to the little rectangle and typed in his name. “Todd Van Horton.” His computer hummed and whirred, a list of people with his exact same name appearing on the app. One by one, the other Todd Van Horton’s disappeared until there was only one left on the screen.

With a trembling hand, Todd double clicked his name and tensed his stomach. His eyes went wide when the program loaded its new display. There was his smiling picture, along with a detailed list of statistics and facts about his life. Eye colour, hair colour, height, weight, his address, the fact that, at 25, he was still living with his parents. It was all there. At first, Todd felt a wave of terror and revulsion run across his body. Someone had been stalking him and planted the app to freak him out. As crazy as it sounded, it was the most logical of the two situations he envisioned in his mind.

The wave passed quickly, however, overpowered by the excited hope that the program really was what it was proclaiming to be. He scrolled over his biography and clicked the little button marked “edit”. With his heart racing in his chest, Todd erased the line mentioning that he still lived with his parents and changed it to read. “Moved out at age 16 because dad was too intimidated by him.”

Todd’s finger hovered the enter key, trembling slightly in the quiet of his bedroom. The program couldn’t be real, it was completely impossible, and yet Todd wanted more than anything for it to be fact rather than fiction. At the same time, he felt a sort of paralyzing nervousness at the idea of changing his life. Anything could happen, and the life he wound up with could potentially be worse than what he had now. Still, he knew that what he had now wasn’t making him happy, and so he closed his eyes and pressed enter.

Todd remained there for more than enough time to make himself feel foolish, waiting for something to happen. A tingling? A wooshing? He wasn’t really sure, but he felt that if the program were the real thing, he should be feeling something after hitting enter. With his heart on the floor, Todd pushed himself away from his computer and stood up. He didn’t even finish fully stretching out his legs before he realized the difference. The bedroom that he had rested his head in since he was a child had transformed completely. Though it was still a little on the small side, his bedroom had transformed into what, in the dim light of his pc, appeared to be a studio apartment.

Todd moved swiftly across the floor and flipped on the overhead lighting. Strangely his body had moved as though he had travelled through the foreign landscape countless times, deftly manoeuvring around furniture and discarded piles of clothing. Looking at the room with the light on, his original suspicion was confirmed. A warm light bloomed in Todd’s heart at the sight of the little apartment. It was larger than his bedroom but overall smaller than the house he shared with his parents, but it was his.

With almost delirious excitement, Todd ran across the room towards the small mirror he saw hanging up in the opposite corner of the room beside the shower. Getting in front of it, his heart fell slightly once again. He looked totally the same. Shorter than average, pale, little body hair, thinner than most of the guys his age. Yet, something seemed different as he looked at his reflection studiously. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he seemed somehow more…confident. Maybe it was the little glint in his eye or the way the corner his mouth curled up all on its own, but his aura, it had changed.

Todd raced over to his phone, almost forgetting about the app running on his computer and pulled up his contact list. Being more confident, more intimidating, he needed to know just how far it went. He scrolled through his contacts and pulled up Drake’s smiling picture. The two of them had been friends for as long as Todd could remember, and he regrettably had a major case of unrequited gay love for his straight friend.

Drake wasn’t that much more impressive to look at than Todd, standing at six foot even and a hundred seventy something pounds. But Todd had always seen potential in the guy. He always felt that if he were a little more commanding and his friend a little further from the hetero end of the spectrum, that he could shape his friend into something truly spectacular. Tapping his friend’s picture Todd opened up messenger and began to type.

“Hey man.”

“Hey, what’s up? Kinda late,” replied Drake a few minutes later

“Not a lot, just wanted to see if I could motivate you to get your ass over here. Thought it might be nice to watch you do some pushups, get that body a bit fitter.”

A lump rose in Todd’s throat while he waited for his friend’s reply. He had hoped that whatever changes in his past that had made him too intimidating for his dad to deal with had carried over into his other relationships, at least a little bit.

“Nah man, sorry. I know you keep wanting to see me get bigger and shit, but I’m not into that. Just like the natural look, ya know? Plus…pushups at your house at midnight? Not the best workout plan.”

Todd cursed under his breath and just sent a vague “lol” back to his friend before getting up and crossing back to his computer. He didn’t want to use the program to just make his friend obey him, that would completely defeat the purpose. He wanted to motivate his friend with his own willpower and masculine confidence.

He needed to tweak his friend, just a little bit at first, to put his newfound and hidden confidence to the test. Pulling up Drake’s name, he scanned through his stats and gave a little frown. He understood that sexual preference was overall a scale with varying degrees rather than a few set and stern options. He had always held out hope that his friend was at least open to experimentation, but had never had the guts to try and make a move. He felt glad for his cowardice by looking at his friend’s stats though, as his sexuality was pushed all the way into “Heterosexual” as far as the slider on the machine would allow.

Todd smiled to himself as he dragged his friend’s slider down towards bisexual, leaving hovering just above the fifty percent mark. The idea of his friend still being mostly into women, but bending to his will and becoming his bitch was the greatest pleasure that Todd could think of. Todd navigated through some of his friend’s personality settings, bumping his assertiveness just down below where they normally rested.

Feeling content with the minor tampering of his friend, Todd hit enter and then pulled out his phone. Looking at his phone this time he felt a surge of confidence in his plan and began to text once more.

“Hey, come over, right now. I’m fucking bored.”

After a few minutes of anxious waiting, Todd’s face grew into an ear to ear grin at his friend’s response.

“Sure. Want me to bring anything?”

“No, just yourself.”

Todd smiled, he hadn’t expected it to be quite so easy, but he was pleasantly surprised that it was. He had just begun to stand up from in front of his computer when a sharp, throbbing pain coursed through his head. He saw his life play out before his life in broken, flickering fractals. Living with his parents. Living alone. Having a great relationship with his family. Having a decent relationship, peppered with a strange sense of unease around his father, who seemed for whatever reason intimidated by him.

Todd clung to his head and lowered it between his legs, letting out a loud low groan in an attempt to ride the pain out. He saw himself as meek and mild. He saw himself as brash and outspoken. More than anything though, he saw him hanging out with Drake, always in charge, always deciding what the two of them would do. The straight, confident man he had always known following him around with a smile on his face, like a happy puppy. The mutual understanding that they were more or less on the same level gone. There wasn’t a question about it. Drake was still a man, no questions asked, but when he and Todd were in the same room he would always be in second place.

Todd blinked away the intrusive memories and steadied himself against his desk, adjusting to his new updated history. With a shake of his head, he brought his vision back into clarity and pulled himself away from the computer. He felt a powerful sense of purpose. A few lines of his past and some minor details of his friend altered and he could have everything he had ever wanted. It was the most exhilarating sensation he had ever experienced, and it was all he could do to sit still and patiently wait for Drake to arrive.

A knock came at the door a few minutes later, bringing Todd off his bed in an excited leap. He had originally meant to change out of his boxers and into something a little more appropriate for a visit, but his mind told him that the old Todd talking. It was his house, and if he wanted to hang out in his underwear, or hell, buck ass naked then Drake, or anyone else who was visiting would just have to deal with it.

If the sight of Todd in his underwear was at all strange to Drake, he didn’t show it. The stockier man just smiled and greeted Todd when the door opened, the two of them sharing a look and a casual smile. Todd stood there with the door open for a few beats, waiting for his friend to come in before he realized: Drake was actually waiting to be invited in. In the past whenever he and Drake had hung out it had been the picture of casual interaction, but Todd actually sensed an air of formality and slight nerves coming from the situation.

“Oh, come on in man.” Said Todd finally, noting a small look of relief wash over Drake’s face.

Drake walked into the studio apartment and carefully removed his shoes, leaving them in perfect parallel beside the door before standing with a passive stance before Todd.

“So, uh, what did you call me over for? Just wanted to hang out?” Asked Drake.

Though Drake’s voice was still even and confident, Todd sensed their newly changed dynamic in every word that came from the man’s lips. Confident and masculine as he might have been considered in any other setting, the two of them knew that between two of them, Todd was clearly superior in almost every conceivable way. An entire lifetime of friendship had reinforced that idea in both of their minds.

“Yeah, kind of. I was just thinking about how the two of us are living our lives, and that it might be time for a change?”

“Oh?” Replied Drake simply, seeming afraid to step on Todd’s words.

“Yeah, I mean, you have so much potential man. I found a way that we can make sure you can live up to it. You interested?”

“What do you mean?” Asked Drake clearly confused but not wanting to question Todd too fiercely.

“Well, what would you say if I told you I could go back in your past and change some things about your history. Would you let me?”

Drake gave a little laugh and walked deeper into Todd’s apartment. “I mean, I kind of feel bad about not following some of your suggestions back when we were in high school and stuff, if that’s what you mean. I guess back then I thought I knew better.”

Todd smiled and strolled over towards his computer, his fingers humming with excitement. “So you’re saying, if you could go back and listen to me, you would?”

“Come on man, you know that. You haven’t steered me wrong yet. I mean, hell. You’re the one who helped me realize I was bi.” Replied Drake with a flush of colour to his cheeks. “I still think about that night by the way,” he added with a slight crack to his voice.

Todd’s smile grew wider and he sat down in front of his computer once again, giving his fingers a loud crack.

“Hey, we gonna watch a movie?” Asked Drake noting the whirring computer before sitting down nervously on the edge of Todd’s bed.

“Not quite” Replied Todd, his fingers flying across his keyboard.

He noted all the bobs and dials that correlated with his friend’s body structure and mind and figured that he could use them to just warp his friend into the man he wanted him to be. That would be far too boring for Todd though. He wanted to reach back and send his friend down a new path, and watch with glee as the changes set into motion by his own hand took effect over his friend.

Reaching back into ninth grade Todd began to alter his friend’s history.

“Because Todd suggested it might be a good idea, Drake started working out every day after school, following a rigid and well-crafted regime.”

Todd felt the familiar pain rocket across his brain as history rewrote itself, but didn’t dare close his eyes. He watched his friend’s stocky body grow thicker and corded with muscle. Rounded pecs, biceps that stretched the sleeves of his casual green t-shirt, thighs that pressed lightly against his blue denim jeans. His body was still on the stocky side, looking to be higher in body fat than a fitness model or anyone along those lines, which was just fine to Todd. He continued typing.

“Around grade eleven Todd suggested that Drake wouldn’t really need to finish high school. He would make enough money to support the both of them, so it made more sense for Drake to just keep working on his body.”

The pain that skittered across Todd’s mind at his latest alteration made his other episodes seem like a pleasant summer day in comparison. The pain rocketed across his head in searing waves while everything around him fell to dark. Once again he saw conflicting images coming up against one another, the new truth shattering the old reality into pieces that evaporated into the ether. When his vision came back to him he saw that the world around him had changed once more.

Gone was the quaint little studio apartment. He and Drake now sat in a bedroom that was as large as the entirety of his previous property. A king bed instead of a double, a modern gaming pc that made his old rig look like it ran windows ninety five. Absolutely everything in the room had been given a serious upgrade in terms of quality.

Instead of sitting tentatively at the edge of the bed, Drake was now laying on his stomach comfortable, clad in nothing more than a red jockstrap. What had formerly been a respectable gym body now looked as though it could rival any natural bodybuilder strutting their stuff on the stage.

Every inch of his body was perfectly waxed and smoothed, executing the rippling and rounded look of his perfectly gym-honed body. His body fat percentage looked as though it had dropped significantly since the last change, putting him on par with the smiling muscle gods who graced the covers of fitness magazines. His were up in the air, kicking slowly while he flipped slowly through the pages of a bodybuilding magazine.

“Hey Todd, what’s this word?” Asked Drake, his words sounding a bit slower than usual.

The big lug of a guy flipped over from the bed and walked across the room. With each step his perfectly sculpted muscles flexed and unflexed in a perfect symphony of dexterity. Todd licked his lips at the sight of the full looking pouch of the jockstrap as it got close to him with each step. Looking at Drake’s finger pressed against the page of the magazine he smiled and let out a little laugh.

“Strenuous. It means very hard, like how the last rep in a set is the most difficult.” Replied Todd, taking a rich and moving his hand around to cup his friend’s rock hard glutes.

“Geeze. Why don’t they just say “very hard” then?” Grumbled Drake, who to Todd’s surprise pushed his ass out into Todd’s hand and gave it a little flex.

“Well, if there weren’t big words out there you might not need me as much.” Replied Todd coyly, giving his friend’s ass a squeeze.

Drake let out a slow, dumb sounding lap and flexed his ass again, looking Todd in the eye with a smile. “I’ll always need you dude, big words got nothin’ to do with it.”

Todd felt his underwear tent out at the insinuation dripping off of Drake’s every word. Even though he had aid very little Todd got the clear impression that Drake relied on him for everything, and thus, in turn, would listen to anything he said. Still, there was always room for improvement, especially when it came to Drake’s body.

Truth be told Todd had been hoping for something a little more rugged when he made the last change. The oiled up and smooth gym look was nice, but not quite what he was going for. It didn’t take a very extraordinary man to tame a vain and vapid gym bro in Todd’s mind. But a thick, burly and hugely masculine slab of a man? Taming someone like that was a real challenge. Todd smiled and turned back to the computer, editing his friend’s history.

“When Drake hit puberty, he hit it hard. He was always the biggest and hairiest guy in school. After he dropped out, he started using steroids and experimenting with hormones to please Todd. This only made his masculine features and gruff personality more overt”

Todd welcomed the pain with an expectant grin this time, it’s welcome searing driving Todd’s euphoric state even further into its rabid intensity. He saw his friend’s body bend and bulge through his pain-blurred eyes, wishing only that he could see the transformation more clearly as it went. When his eyes cleared once more the man standing in front of him hardly resembled his old friend.

Drake’s feet had grown longer and wider, looking easily to be at least size fifteen. All the thick and powerful muscles he had before had only exploded outward, covered in thick fat and a dense layer of chestnut hair. While not the hairiest man Todd had seen Drake’s body hair was expansive and thick, covering most of his body from the tops of his toes to the very crest of his pecs. His face looked far more square and defined, and was in fact the only part of his body that seemed to be lacking hair.

Bald on the top of his head and shaved with a deep five o clock shadow, it seemed that all the testosterone coursing through his body had caused him to bald at the tender age of twenty-five. A thick silver ring hung through his septum and the look on his face was an odd mixture of gruff self-assurance and vague, empty stupidity. The jock strap he was clad in had morphed from bright red to smooth and shiny black with silver studs. A studded leather jock strap that hardly contained the massive girth of Drake’s considerable manhood.

Even the man’s scent had changed, hitting Todd’s nose with a musk far more aggressive than anything his friend’s body could previously produce. Todd slid away from the computer and stood up, meaning to look Drake in the eyes. To his own surprise and amusement, his eyes only came to just above his friend’s nipple line, giving him an eye full of the man’s furry pec shelf.

His head was still piecing together the dynamics of their new relationships, the strange computer program seeming to take its time to fill in the blanks. He knew that he made enough money to support him and Drake and that the big lumbering lug looked up to him, but the exact details remained fuzzy. With a deep breath, Todd summoned the self-confidence and assertive persona he’d always longed for inside and wrapped his arm around his friend’s massive waist.

“Hey, big guy. Why don’t you get on your knees and show me how thankful you are that I take care of you.”

Drake wasted no time and with surprising speed giving the size of his body dropped to his feet and started licking Todd’s cool, exposed feet. Although the sensation itself wasn’t particularly phenomenal the fact that he had just commanded a man the size of Drake with such easy sent a surge of pleasure through Todd’s body. He moaned softly, curling his toes and enjoying the sloppy fervour that his friend turned slave.

“You know what. I don’t feel like standing here while you show me you grateful you are. Take me to the bed.”

Without a single word or any sign of hesitation Drake plucked Todd off the floor by the waist and carried him over to the plush king-sized bed. The hulking giant set him down with a surprisingly gentle touch before dropping back to his hands and knees. The sound of Drake’s desperate slobbering licks rose up in the silence of the otherwise still bedroom, sounding like music to Todd’s ears. The big man licked with such unabashed intensity that every so often he would let loose a gurgling gasp like cough. It was as though he was forgetting to breathe while showing his gratitude to the friend who guided him through life.

“Alright man, don’t choke or anything.” Said Todd with a chuckle after a few minutes of the gulping and gasping foot bath.

“Oh, sorry.” Replied Drake, coming up to his knees so as to look Todd in the eyes. “I just get really excited when you tell me stuff like that. I never really feel like I do enough to pay you back for everything you do for me.”

Todd smiled and put his hand on the side of his friend’s lantern jaw, pulling him up onto the bed. “You pay me back plenty. That big body, listening to my every word. I mean, you’ll always owe me, but it’s not like I don’t get anything out of this. That body of yours is as much mine as it is yours, all the motivation and money I’ve put into it.”

Drake blushed and nodded, giving his beefy pecs a powerful flex that made Todd’s cock give a little throb. He couldn’t stand it anymore, he had to know what it was like to explore the massive form that he had helped his friend create. Tilting his head to the side Todd brought his lips against Drake’s who instantly responded with excitement. Their tongues mingled in each other’s mouths in a sloppy embrace. Although it was the first time that Todd had done so properly, his mind told him that he had tasted his friend more times than he could ever count.

Todd’s hands explored his Drake’s body with precise and calculate passion. He felt the bulging heft of his cannonball biceps, groped and slapped the round muscle keg that served as his gut, and grasped tightly at his impossibly wide legs.

“Get your cock out.” Said Todd matter-of-factly.

Drake responded with military-like precision once again and dropped his leather jock around his ankles before sitting down on the edge of the bed. Todd dropped his own less exciting underwear and kicked them across the room, eyeing the thick nine-inch cock that sprung up out of Drake’s jock strap. He had been a little worried that his friend’s steroid use might have shrunk his package, but looking at the bull balls and throbbing tool proved otherwise.

Todd wasted no time and quickly slathered his hole with some lube from the bedside table. With two fingers in his ass, he looked at Drake, who smiled and flexed in response. His friend’s mind and body were his and his alone to enjoy. Although he still held a fondness for the man, he knew with absolute certainty that as much as one could, Drake belonged to him. With a grunt and a groan, Todd slid down on Drake’s powerful cock and started to ride him.

Drake’s eyes stared back at him while he was being used with as a human dildo with earnest and shimmering gratitude. Rather than laying down to enjoy the pleasure surrounding his dick, he flexed his upper body. Both of them knew what he was at that moment, a source of pleasure for Todd. This wasn’t lovemaking. This was Todd getting off using the body that he had spent years of his life helping to craft.

Todd’s pace grew more rapid, bordering on furious as he went on. Both men began to glisten with sweat while above it all Todd’s deep, pleasured moans rang true.

“Moan for me. Show me what a real man’s ass does to you.”

The command was all that Drake needed. A slew of moaning expletives escaped from the muscle giant’s mouth. Each “I’m not a fuckin’ man next to you” and “Thank you for riding my cock” was completely sincere and honest despite its pornstar-like intensity.

Todd’s mind raced, his body on fire with pleasure that he had never before known. In a few short hours, he had gone from feeling trapped in his meek and mild life to fulfilling the destiny he knew that he had always known was meant for him. A slight man with an unremarkable body, with the strength of will and natural charisma to tame a hulking beast like Drake. There was nothing finer Todd could think of. No better signifier of his true state in the world as an alpha to whom all other men should bow.

Through the pleasure that rocked his body a scene formed in Todd’s mind. Walking down the street with Drake in tow, the eyes of every man on the two of them. Jealous, longing, not at Drake but at Todd. For them to be in the presence of such a man, it only made them feel inadequate about their own selves. Yes. That was what he wanted. What he deserved. A few tweaks on the program and he could have it, he could have it all.

The thankful grunts of the man who’s dick was his dildo rang out over Todd’s thoughts and pulled him back to the present. He smiled and brought his lips over the man’s open mouth, quieting his grunts some with his tongue. There would be time for all that later. Right then and there he wanted to enjoy the company of the friend who’s love he had always desired. He had it and more in the palm of his hand, his to do with as he pleased. He wasn’t a cruel master though and would treat his friend’s admiration with love and affection.

Absolute power may have corrupted some, but for a true man like Todd, it was nothing he couldn’t handle. He would be fair and just, as open to love as any other man, it was just going to be all on his own terms. Always.

____

Like my writing and want to see more? Check out my freshly redesigned Patreon https://www.patreon.com/ChaoticDjinnv2