Bearland Saga - Part 2: Resolution

Monday, New Year’s Eve

I shivered as I entered the condo building lobby. Even by December standards, it was cold out. I took a moment to revel in the warm respite of the lobby, then walked over to the mailboxes to collect the last deliveries of the year. The stack was unusually thick, primarily made up of junk mail for weight-loss programs and gym memberships. I took the elevator to get up to my fourth floor condo. Really, considering my weight problems, I probably should have taken the stairs, but I wasn’t exactly the most fitness oriented person. In college, I had been a victim of the dreaded Freshmen Fifteen. Followed by the Freshmen Twenty. And the Freshmen Twenty-Five. To be honest, although I had played a couple of high school sports, I didn’t put much effort into them, and between college classes and parties, I never took the time to exercise. Now at 25, I could definitely stand to lose some weight.

As I walked through the door into my spacious condo, I flipped through the mail. It was mostly junk, a few bills, some charity letters for last minute donations for the year. Then I noticed a brochure within the stack that caught my eye somehow. The front had a photograph of a hairy, overweight, shirtless man looking down at his stomach with his hands cradling his rather large gut. He clearly had a disappointed look on his face. The message on the brochure said “Are you unhappy with the way your body looks? Do you want to make a change this year?”

I flipped the page, and multiple photographs showed the same man, still shirtless, lifting weights, doing squats, deadlifts, and bench presses, each time looking a little thinner and a little more muscular. Though I couldn’t help but notice that he also seemed to age in between each photograph. He had more wrinkles and he developed some salt and pepper in his hair. “Live up to your potential. Become the man you know you can be,” the message went on. Another page flip, and now he was lifting hundreds of pounds at a time. Oh, and he was wearing little more than a very low-cut pair of shorts that left little to the imagination. The aging had really progressed too, with him being completely grey now, looking to be somewhere in his 50s. “Take control. Be the one in charge.”

The last page was the real kicker. I gaped at the last photograph, in which he was standing on a cliff face overlooking the ocean, apparently at sunrise. He had his arms raised over his head as if in celebration. Despite appearing to be in his late-50s or 60s, he was ripped like he had been bodybuilding his whole life. And he was completely nude. And he had a full hard-on. There was no message on this page. I flipped through the brochure, trying to figure out what it was. It seemed to be some sort of fitness advertisement, but there was no information. Was it a gym or a supplement store? As an advertising executive, I couldn’t help but think that whoever put this together didn’t know what they were doing, and I laughed at the absurd sequence of images.

I threw it on the counter and walked to my room to get changed for the New Year’s party my boss was putting on. As I stripped, I looked in the mirror. I couldn’t help but feel some disappointment. Yeah, that brochure was poorly done, but it put in perspective just how much I had let myself go. I was hardly obese, but I did have a hefty gut running over my belt. Maybe I should resolve to lose weight this year. I had actually been thinking about going on a diet for a while, but just couldn’t bring myself to put in the effort. With that thought in mind, I got dressed with a tasteful shirt and vest and ran downstairs to the parking garage.

Within minutes, I was at my boss, Julie’s house. She always threw the best parties. To be honest, I would say that she was also the best boss that I had ever had. “Hey there Matt. Happy New Year,” she said cheerfully when she answered the door.

“Happy New Year,” I responded back and gave her a big hug.

She beamed. “Thanks for coming. Mark and Susan are here already, but it’s still a little light. Let me take your coat. Can you believe how cold it got?”

“Yeah, crazy. And I think that it’s supposed to get to minus 20 later this week.”

“Ugh. Well, make yourself comfortable. Oh, and you’ve got to meet my fiancé, Trevor. And grab some party favors. I want it to be nice and loud when Midnight gets here.”

I walked through the house and met everybody in the kitchen. Trevor introduced himself and me and my coworkers all caught up with each other.

“So, Matt,” Susan asked, “do you have a New Year’s resolution this year?”

I smiled. “Oh, I don’t know,” looking down at my stomach, “I think that I could stand to lose some weight. Maybe even put on a little muscle. What about you?”

She looked at Mark. “Actually, we’re both trying to quit smoking.”

I beamed at that. “Great. That’s a good plan. I’ve always thought it was a nasty habit. Uh, no offense.”

“None taken.” With that, she pulled out a cigarette. “Last one for the year. I just wish it wasn’t so fucking cold outside. Pardon my French. But help yourself to some food. I made the spinach-artichoke dip, and the buffalo chicken dip. You know, if you are trying to lose weight, you technically don’t have to start until tomorrow. Dig in.” She walked out onto the patio to smoke and I looked over all of the food spread on the table. Honestly, it looked pretty good, but I didn’t feel much of an appetite for most of the stuff like I typically would. If I intended to get healthy, I probably shouldn’t have been eating cakes and cookies and chips. At least there were some raw vegetables with ranch dressing that I might want to eat.

Trevor gestured to a plate of chocolate-chunk brownies. “Try some of these. I made them myself. I mean, well, I used a box mix, but I feel like it still counts. Julie’s always complaining about my cooking, but I’d like to see if she says that after these bad boys.” I picked one up, looked at it skeptically and bit into it. Really, the flavor seemed fine and it had a nice texture and moisture to it, but something just seemed wrong about it. It was like it was too sweet or too rich for my tastes. Looking back, the best way that I can describe it is like it didn’t belong in my body, as if I had no business eating it. I must have made a sour face because Trevor flushed a little. “Ooh, it isn’t that bad, is it? I hope I didn’t leave them in too long.”

I realized that I may have offended him. “No, it’s fine. It’s just, uh, some of it almost went down the wrong tube, you know?”

Mark piped up. “Don’t worry about it Trevor. I tried one, and I thought it was great.” The doorbell rang and I heard Julie welcoming more people. We all moved into the living room to chat. Despite my dislike for the sweets, I was more than happy to imbibe the numerous microbrews from the coolers. I did munch on some of the vegetables, which weren’t ideal, but at least held me over. Despite what Susan said, I wanted to jump into my resolution as soon as possible. Several other people said that they wanted to lose weight in the New Year, but I knew they wouldn’t last two weeks before they dropped their diets, I could just tell. Not like me. I was actually going to go through with it. I could almost feel my determination grow just from hearing these dipshits make promises that they couldn’t keep.

The night wore on and I moved from chatting to playing board games. I got nice and buzzed from a pale ale and an IPA lager somebody had brought. I started to think about what I had previously thought about the others making their resolutions. That wasn’t normally like me. I shouldn’t have been so critical, especially since I barely knew any of them. But I just let it slide. Julie finally called everybody to the tv. “Okay, everybody, get the noisemakers ready. We’ve only got five minutes left.”

“Ah, shit, I am really going to miss smoking, won’t I?” Susan said.

‘C’mon, we can make it together, can’t we?” Mark said, holding her close.

“Yeah, of course we can,” she said, leaning in for a kiss. “And I’m sure you’ll do well on your diet, won’t you, Matt?”

I felt a small flash of anger towards her. Was she making fun of me? Was she being passive aggressive? What, did she think that I was some sort of loser who couldn’t control himself? Wait, no, she was serious, right? I wasn’t sure, but I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. “Yeah. Totally.”

“Me too,” she said smiling. I felt that same flash of anger, but managed to tap it down.

“All right, everybody,” Julie announced, ”get ready. We’re 30 seconds from the New Year.” The tv showed a huge crowd in New York, ready to watch the big ball drop. The two announcers excitedly started the countdown. “10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…HAPPY NEW YEAR!” everybody shouted together. The sound of noisemakers filled the living room and a few people kissed. I blew into a noise pipe, celebrating a new year to make a big change in my life.

Tuesday, New Year’s Day

I stayed at the party for about three more hours, finally heading home when I got too tired. I woke up around noon, ready to start the New Year right. After a quick shower, I ran downstairs and looked through the cupboards. Unfortunately, they were full of high sugar snacks and cereals. I cringed; this was supposed to be a fresh start. I grabbed a trash can and started shoveling all of the high calorie shit away. I couldn’t help but be disappointed with my choices. How could I have let myself go like this? It took two whole trash bags to throw everything away. Of course, now I had little to eat for breakfast. I did have some eggs, so I could at least have a nice omelet. I couldn’t remember if egg yolks were healthy or not, but I figured they had to be healthier than the shit that I typically ate.

I added a little bit of cheese and some frozen onions, and overall, it turned out pretty well. Really, I felt better already. After a couple cups of coffee, I headed out the door to go shopping. My first stop was to the supplement store. They had a New Year’s sale and it was pretty busy inside; I felt a little overwhelmed walking through the aisles, but I quickly caught the eye of a sales rep. I explained that I was trying to lose weight while gaining muscle. He walked me through the various supplements available and I eagerly took in everything that he was saying. Within a half hour, I was getting checked out, with some whey protein, creatine, flaxseed oil, vitamins, and pre-workout supplements. I was more than a little shocked by the price tag, but it seemed worth it, and I had a pretty good job. I could easily afford it.

The next stop was the grocery store. I made sure to avoid the processed foods aisles. This year, I was determined to eat right. The first stop was produce, where I filled up on whatever I could get. I had a vague memory of my high school home-economics class and the healthy dishes that we had to make. Previously, I could live with salad, but the idea of biting into broccoli or Brussels sprouts would have made my stomach churn. Now, I was on a mission. Nothing was too good for me: kale, broccoli, avocados, sweet potatoes, asparagus, peppers, spinach. Next, was the meat aisle. I salivated at the thought of grilling a nice, juicy steak. To be honest, I wasn’t much of a grill man, but this was an opportunity to get started. The butcher at the counter was helpful at picking out some nice cuts and gave me some tips on rubs and spices. “Of course, with as cold as it is, when are you going to be able to grill?”

“Oh, I don’t know. To be honest, I kind of like the cold.” He laughed a little at that. Further down, the seafood section had a nice selection of salmon. They even prepared it for me; all I had to do was stick it in the oven. I mostly avoided the inner aisles, although I did grab some spices from the baking aisle, and the healthier nuts near the snacks. The grocery bill was heftier than my usual visit, but I could still justify it with my salary. After all, eating healthy is expensive.

The moment I parked back at home, I rushed everything up to the condo. I wanted to get to the gym as soon as possible to get started. It took a few trips in the elevator with everything, with me waiting impatiently for each ride. Once everything was packed away, I ate a pre-workout protein bar, then took the stairs to avoid the wait and quickly drove to a nearby gym. The place was packed but I was able to meet with an employee to sign up. She offered a discount on a personal trainer for a few sessions, but I declined; I felt that I could do it on my own to start off. After changing into my workout clothes, I wondered around the floor trying to see where I wanted to start. My eye caught the squat racks at the perimeter of the floor. Looking over them, I realized that I had never really squatted weights before. I had a vague idea of what to do, but knew that I could get injured if I did it wrong. Fortunately, there were some other guys doing squats nearby and I was able to follow along with what they were doing. I put two 45 pound weights on each side of the bar, which seemed just about right. Looking over the bar, I felt a little apprehensive, but just swallowed and got under it. I lifted it off of the pins and took a few steps back. The mirror image of me was almost comical: a chubby guy trying to lift weights. But, fuck, I was going to do this. I breathed in and dropped down to the point of my thighs being parallel to the ground, then I breathed out as I rose back up. A feeling of satisfaction filled me. I had done it. Yeah, it wasn’t anything big, but it was a start. I did it again, and again, until I had squatted 10 reps. After putting the bar back, I let out a satisfied sigh. There were a few more sets of 10, and then it was on to the next exercise.

The rest of the workout went smoothly. I would pay attention to what other guys were doing and try to follow along as best as I could. It was mostly lower body stuff, but I did a few bicep curls too. The discomfort wasn’t great, but I couldn’t help but feel deeply proud of myself for doing this. It was only the first day, but it was progress.

With a little over an hour of working out under my belt, I showered and got dressed. When I walked outside, I realized that my thick coat may have been a mistake. My intense exercise must have gotten me way too hot. It was only about five degrees Fahrenheit with strong wind, but I felt like I was suffocating in my clothes. I quickly took the coat off, and, to be honest, the wind was actually quite refreshing. In the car ride home, I got a call from Janean, my fiancé. “Hey, big boy, how’s it going?”

“Oh, you know. It’s a post-apocalyptic hellscape of people being frozen solid. I think I saw a few ice monsters freezing people in their tracks. Speaking of which, how’s Texas?”

Janean laughed. “It’s cold here too, just not like what it is there. I was just checking up on you. What are you up to?”

“Well, I started working out today. New Year’s resolution, you know.”

“That’s great. You’ve been talking about it for so long. I’m glad that you took the plunge.”

“Yeah, me too. Anyway, thanks for checking in. I’ll see you in couple of weeks when you get back.”

“Sure, talk to you later.” That was the last time that I talked to her.

Wednesday, January 2nd

My alarm woke me promptly at 6:00. I felt sore but satisfied. It was a sign that I had managed to really work myself the previous day. I quickly flipped the light on and looked in my dresser mirror. No results yet. Slightly disappointed, but understanding that these things take time, I jumped in the shower and got ready for work. I made a three egg omelet with some onions and peppers, a nice bowl of oatmeal, and a cup of coffee, and then it was off to the office.

The day flew by. It seemed like half my focus was on getting to the gym after work, but I was still able to keep my mind in the right place. We were trying to figure out a way to sell sports drinks that hadn’t already been done fifty times before. “Okay, they want a new campaign, and they want it yesterday.”

Paul, one of the smartasses in the office, spoke up. “I realize that you’re joking, but I wouldn’t say that around the reps. You might give them ideas.”

Susan sighed. “We’ve been at this for like two weeks now. Why isn’t the old campaign good enough? Their sales numbers have never been higher.”

Susan replied “And they don’t want to lose that edge. They’re starting to lose ground to MegaZap.”

Charles, a new guy with the firm decided to join in. “I don’t see what’s wrong with the old campaign. ‘Move your body into overdrive.’ I always liked it.”

Having a few years at the ad agency, I decided to add my little pearl of wisdom. “Just because it’s the way you’ve always done things, doesn’t mean it’s the way that you should keep doing them. Let’s brainstorm, people.” Charles smirked at this, but he seemed to be convinced.

We tried different ideas, but nothing really seemed to stick. We all decided to sleep on it and get back at it the next day (with the implication that each of us would be working overnight). But I had other things on my mind. I felt really encouraged by my previous workout and wanted to get back to the gym ASAP. The workout went pretty much the same as the previous day, though it felt a little more intense. Could I be making progress after just a couple of sessions? This day, I decided to focus on upper body. It was actually easier; I remembered a lot of the exercises from my sports days. Each time I tried a new exercise, it seemed that I had underestimated myself with the weight. I could always put more weight on. I was impressing myself. Had I always had this strength and just didn’t realize it?

Overall, the whole workout took about two hours, longer than I intended, but it felt satisfying. I had done as much as I could. I did bicep curls, pullups, bench presses, kickbacks, and just about every machine there for upper body strength. I admired myself in the mirror back at home; it actually looked like I was making progress already, and finished the night by grilling myself a nice juicy steak on my balcony. I didn’t know what everybody was complaining about; the cold air felt good out there.

Friday, January 4th

After another workday and night of exercising, for the first time, the thought of going to work started to bug me. Sure, I had disliked going to work before, but this felt different. It wasn’t just the thought of going into work; it was the fact that I could be at the gym instead, improving myself, meeting my resolution. As a result, I started feeling impatient, snapping at people, or barely being polite. I barely paid attention during meetings or when I was talking to other people; my mind was at the gym, thinking about what my sets would be. I did pushups and lunges on breaks or whenever I needed to think. The whole day seemed to last an eternity.

Finally, five o’clock hit. I didn’t even bother stopping by the condo before running to the gym. I downed a protein shake on the way and quickly changed the moment I entered the locker room. I couldn’t believe how much I had learned about working out in just four days. It was like I was an expert about every possible exercise for every muscle group. I decided to lump everything into supersets: first biceps and triceps, then pecs and lats, hitting every major muscle group. I should have been intensely sore from the previous three days, but I actually felt rejuvenated. This was the most intense feeling I had ever had, working out, making myself better. I was so focused on lifting, that I didn’t realize that it was past ten o’clock. More than four hours. That was by far the longest time that I had ever spent at the gym. And I needed to be up the next day for work. I quickly got dressed, walked outside, breathed deep the brisk air, and headed home. The moment I got back, I stripped and flexed in front of my hall mirror. Wow. I wasn’t quite up to bodybuilder size yet, but I looked good. Really good. My paunch was almost completely gone. After a few minutes of admiring myself, I made dinner, followed by some work, and finally, bedtime.

Saturday, January 5th

With the holiday earlier in the week, we all had to come in on Saturday to catch up on things. It was only going to be a half day, but I was getting increasingly pissed at having to go in to work.

The day wore on, somehow feeling longer than a full day. I decided to run outside to get some fresh air. To be honest, I felt like I didn’t really need a coat; the cold air felt perfectly fine, but I thought that it would look weird to not have one when it was around zero. Walking around, I looked in a partially obstructed corner in the distance and saw Susan all bundled up. And she was smoking. I couldn’t help but grin. Five days. Five fucking days and she couldn’t keep up with her resolution. I went back inside; I’m pretty sure that she didn’t see me.

Shortly before the workday was over, I decided to stop by Susan’s office. “Hey, Susan, how’s it going?”

She smiled to see me. “Oh, hey Matt. Matt, did you notice that you started getting greying temples? Is that normal for your age?”

“Huh?” I looked in the mirror in her office. She was right. When did that happen? I had heard of people going bald at my age, but getting grey hair? That didn’t seem possible. I tried not to think about it.

“So, fifteen more minutes, then it’s freedom for a couple days. Any plans for the short weekend?”

“Oh, I think that I’ll hit the gym again. Say, I couldn’t help but notice that you were smoking outside earlier. That New Year’s resolution doesn’t seem to be working out too well for you, is it?”

Susan immediately clenched up, realizing that she had been caught. “Uh, yeah, that. I … just didn’t realize how difficult it would be, you know, with how long I’ve been smoking. It was a lot harder than I expected. I’m sorry. And the stress with Mark and this account. It just got to be too much, but I swear, I’ll get back on the wagon as soon as I can. Just, don’t tell anyone. Especially don’t tell Mark. I just, really, I’m trying.”

I smiled. “Oh, yeah, I know. But you see this?” I pulled back my shirt sleeve and flexed my right bicep to demonstrate how big it had gotten. “This is what’s called ‘commitment.’ You should give it a shot sometime.”

Susan gaped at me. “Matt, I don’t know what got into you, but that is a really shitty thing to say. And really, you know what, me smoking is none of your fucking business.”

I dropped the smile, but still felt smug at her welching on her resolution. “Yeah, you know. You’re right. Forget I said anything.”

But she didn’t stop there. “And really, how do you even look like that right now? You’ve been working out for like, what, three days or something?”

Now I did really feel my smugness melt away. That was actually a good question. Even if I had been taking steroids, I shouldn’t have looked like this yet. But I just brushed it off. It was just a sign of how well I had been doing so far. “Yeah, well, maybe I started earlier than I said. Have a nice weekend. Maybe you’ll do better.” I walked out without bothering to get her reaction.

As soon as I got to the car, I downed a pre-workout shake and drove to the gym.

Sunday, January 6th

Sunday was the first day that I got the sense that something was genuinely wrong. I woke up at 6 am, ready to get to the gym promptly. No work today! But I was in for a shock when I turned the bathroom light on and looked in the mirror. Forget the greying temples; I had gone stark white nearly overnight. And not just my head hair. All of my body hair, including chest and back. And I can tell you, the carpet matched the drapes. Besides the hair, my wrinkles had deepened, making me look like I was in my 50s at least. My muscles, on the other hand, made me look like a regular bodybuilder. My abs were clearly visible under the treasure trail of hair, to say nothing of my biceps, triceps, shoulders, pecs, and thigh muscles.

I stared myself over, shocked at this transformation. There was no way that I should have looked like this after five days, even if I had pumped myself through with steroids. Apparently, I had gained a few inches in height as well. Looking crotchward, it seemed that my height wasn’t the only thing that had gained a few inches. My package seemed to have expanded, and it seemed that I was no longer uncircumcised. Any woman would have serious second thoughts before letting me inside of them. In retrospect, a foreskin growing back is about as big of a red flag as you can get that something unusual is happening.

But despite my shock, I still wanted to go to the gym. I wondered if I had gotten addicted to working out. Regardless, I felt the need to go. Unfortunately, almost none of my clothes fit. The only thing that I could find was a comically large pair of overalls that I had purchased for a Halloween costume a few years ago. They were still too large, but they would suffice (without any underwear that fit, they chafed something fierce). A large undershirt made the look work. It would look odd, but I could go out into public.

I made it to the gym, getting a few weird glances, but no problems from anyone. Fortunately, my workout gear was tight, but stretchable, and it worked for what I needed to do. I quickly fell into the zone, upper body, lower body, core. People would occasionally glance over at me, impressed by my intensity. I was lifting weights that would have been unthinkable just a week earlier.

Finally satisfied, I went back into the locker room and changed into the overalls, not bothering to put the undershirt on. When I got to my car, I realized how long I had been there. It was 3 in the afternoon. I had just spent eight hours at the gym. Shocked by this, I drove off, not paying attention so much to how I drove.

On the highway, about a half mile from my house, I heard a siren and saw flashing lights in my rearview mirror. Shit! I had been going 20 miles per hour over the speed limit. How could I be so stupid? I pulled over, ready to get this over with.

The police officer walked up to my window and glared down at me. “Good evening, sir. License and registration, please.” I handed them over nervously without saying anything, wondering what he would think. “Do you know why I pulled you over?”

I hesitated and swallowed deeply before giving my answer. “Uh, I guess I was speeding, uh, sir.”

“Yes, you were. You were going 85 miles per hour in a 60.” He took a closer look at my driver’s license. “Usually around here, people wear shirts. Aren’t you cold?” I started feeling a little pissed at him. So fucking what? “Sir, is this your license?”

I felt my heart sink. “Yeah, it’s mine.”

“Mr. Matthew Callam, the photograph on this license seems to be of someone much younger than you.”

I looked at the picture on the license and then at myself in the rearview mirror. The officer was right. The person with the awkward smile had dark black hair and a young face. I could be the guy on the license’s father. How had I aged 30 years in about a week? “I’m s-sorry, Officer, but that’s me. I can’t explain it, but that’s me.”

“Sir, do you know that it’s against the law to present a fake ID to a police officer?”

I felt anger well up in me. “I know that officer. You don’t have to tell me.”

“Sir, please step out of the car.”

“I said it’s fucking me! Don’t you fucking believe me?” He stuttered, caught off guard by this outburst. I got out of the car and loomed over him, almost backing him against the car. “What sort of fucking police academy did you go to? I bet you’d lose your own nutsack if it wasn’t attached to you. If you even have one.” He just stared at me with a look of fear and … and something else. “Come with me, you little shit.”

He followed me to the passenger side of the car. I opened the door and undid my snaps to pull down my overalls, showing my thick meat for him. “Look at what I’ve got. You want it, right?” All of this, it just came out of nowhere, but now I think that I had felt it building in me along with my muscles and aging. He stared intently, a raw hunger in his eyes. “Well, what ya waiting for? Suck my fucking cock.” He quickly dropped to his knees and began sixty-nining me. I leaned back and started moaning. Oh, he knew where to put his tongue.

Suddenly, the Officer let go. “Wait. What if we get caught?”

I sneered down at him. “Yeah, what if we do get caught? Focus on the task at hand, boy.” This seemed to satisfy him and he went back to swallowing my dick. It was actually rather impressive that he could take the whole thing. My cock was fairly thick, and he was somehow able to gobble it all down. People were driving by on the highway, and here I was getting a BJ. Granted, from the angle, it was unlikely that anyone would see anything, but I could get arrested for this. Except the guy doing it was the guy who would arrest me. “Yeah, yeah, you like that precum, don’t you? You like Daddy’s pre?”

“Hmm mmm,” the officer mumbled while continuing to work.

“Well, get ready, because you’re gonna get the raw stuff.” I roared and then began pumping hot seed into the officer’s mouth. Impressively, he swallowed a decent amount, but quite a bit still flowed into his beard, over his uniform, and onto the ground. I pulled him up into a rough kiss.

The officer smiled sheepishly. “I, uh, guess that I can let you off with a warning, sir.”

I smiled back. “Awfully kind of you, officer. Much appreciate it.” We gave one last kiss and he walked back to his car. I drove off, and the further I got, the more my stomach sank. Not only had I just gotten a blow job from another guy, but it had been in a public place, right off of the side of the highway with a police officer that I had practically coerced into it. When I got to the parking garage, I grabbed my stuff and ran up the stairs as fast as I could to get to my condo. After getting inside, I tried to think, what I needed to do, how to explain this, but I suddenly felt drained, physically, mentally, emotionally. I tried to stay up, but it was all too much. I crashed on the couch, unable to stay awake.

Monday, January 7th

I again woke up promptly at 6 am. Now I was really worried. I had to go to the gym. I just had to. It was now an all-consuming thought. There was nothing else unless I got my workout in. I quickly ate my breakfast and ran out to the car, once again just wearing my overalls.

The workout was even more intense than the previous day, and I felt more lost in thought. Time flew at a breakneck speed. I don’t know if anybody paid much attention to me; I probably wouldn’t have noticed if they did. I was singularly focused. I had to get through this.

Finally finished, I went to the locker room. After changing out of my workout clothes, I made eye contact with another bodybuilder. He was nude, apparently about to enter the showers. And he had the same look that the officer did from the previous day. Without saying anything, I led him to a shower stall and closed the curtain. He bent over to brace himself against the wall. I had to work quickly. I entered him, causing him to groan at my size. I started humping furiously, making him rock hard, though he tried his best to stay quiet. If we got caught, we could be in serious trouble. I finally filled him up, causing him to shoot his load at the wall and then I quickly ran off. The man fell on the floor, completely wrecked but loving it. I rapidly got dressed and left, horrified at what was happening to me. Two guys in two days.

As I walked out, I looked at my phone. There were 26 voicemail messages and a huge number of texts. Suddenly, I realized that it was Monday and I should have gone to work. I listened to the messages; they were mostly from Julie asking where I was. One was from Janean, saying that work had called my emergency contact to check up on me. I didn’t call her back. While driving home, I got a phone call. It was Julie. Shit. Against my better judgement, I answered it. “Hello?”

“Matt, is that you? Where have you been? I thought that you might have been dead or in jail or something.”

“I went to the gym. No biggee.” I started to feel like answering was a mistake.

“No biggee? Matt, do you realize that it is Monday and you need to be at work? How could you be at the gym all day?”

I was asking myself the same question. “Look, you can’t really be upset with me. I’ve done some good work there. You owe me a day off. And besides, I worked Saturday.”

“Matt, you’re not making any sense. Come into the office, and we’ll discuss this.”

I felt my anger boil over. “You know what, I really don’t want any part of this fucking office anymore. I think I’ve had enough of you and all of the uptight assholes trying to tell me how to do my job.”

“Matt –.”

“Fuck off!” I shouted before hanging up. My anger almost immediately ebbed, replaced by a deep melancholy. I had essentially just quit my job for no good reason. Moments later, my phone started ringing again, but I didn’t answer. The phone beeped, indicating a voicemail message, but nothing good could come of talking to Julie again. Instead, I just drove home, trying to figure out what the fuck had happened to me.

I walked into my condo, panting and almost on the verge of crying. I had become a complete asshole, and I was having gay sex with men that I had never met before. And I now looked like I was in my 60s. There had to be some sort of explanation for it.

Then my eyes fell on the pamphlet on the counter that had been sent to me a week ago. Except now, it looked like it had aged too. It was all crumpled up and the ink had faded. Some of the writing was smeared. This thing had to be tied to my changes. I looked through it to see if there was some clue to what had happened to me. Aside from the wear and tear, it looked identical to how I remembered it from a week ago, except for the last page. Under the picture of the nude man, there was an address, and it wasn’t far from my condo. Maybe I could go there and get some answers.

Suddenly, a pain like I had never felt before pulsed through my body. I had to lean against a wall to keep myself from falling. It was like the feeling that I had had once when I had gotten a bad case of food poisoning, but it was much more intense. I opened my mouth and groaned, thinking that I was going to hurl. And then the weirdest thing happened (well, weirdest up to that point). I had the feeling like something was trying to push itself out of my face. I could feel it in my jaw line and nose, and for just the briefest moment, I swear, it seemed like I could see the end of my nose stretched into my field of vision.

And then, just as quickly as it started, it ended. I stood at the wall, panting. “The fuck?!” I needed answers. I grabbed the pamphlet and headed out the door. The drive wasn’t far and I parked on a side street. I got a little anxious; this wasn’t the best part of town. But I needed to find out what was happening to me. And, in retrospect, maybe there was some other force pushing me along.

I got to the alley door that the address indicated and knocked. Nobody answered. I tried the door handle and was surprised to find it unlocked. I walked through the door into a dark hallway. “Hello, is anybody here?” The hallway was only lit by red emergency lights. I passed several empty rooms until I got to one with bright light streaming out. I entered and was shocked to find a nude man inside. He was very muscular, though not nearly as big as me. And his cock; it was smaller than mine, but not by much. I could only whoof when I saw it.

“My name is Mr. Nicholas. I have been ordered to service you in any way that you need.” I just stopped and stared. I needed to get back to normal, but…

But I couldn’t pass this up. “So, you’re my servant, huh?” I said with a healthy dose of disdain. “So, service me in any way that I need? Figures I get a pathetic piece of shit like you. I mean, look at me. Don’t I deserve so much better than whatever lame excuse for a person you are?”

“Yes, you do, sir. You most certainly do. I am a pathetic piece of shit.” His dick quickly rose to attention.

“Fuck! You know what? This is beyond pathetic. How am I even supposed to get hard at this? You’re worse than a piece of shit. You’re like a piece of dog shit that I have to scrape off my boot and then clean it in the grass, but I still don’t get it all off. How do you look at yourself in the mirror, man?”

“You’re absolutely right. I am unworthy of love by anybody. But if you will, have mercy on me and let me please you.” At this, he was leaking like a garden hose.

I shrugged. “Well, I guess you’ll have to do. I’ve got a cock that needs sucking and you look like my only option right now.” I unsnapped my overalls, dropping them to the ground and Mr. Nicholas’ eyes bulged at the size of my tool. He scurried to me on all fours and began kissing my semi-hard dick. I quickly rose to full mast, tweaking my nipples as he started gulping down my precum. He was by no means capable of swallowing the whole thing (really, by this point, who would be?), but man, did he try. And despite my earlier insults, he seemed to be extremely capable with his mouth. But just prior to reaching orgasm, another thought entered my head.

“You know what, you’re not good enough to get it straight from the tap. Get back.” He let go of my dick and moved back to a crouching position. I aimed my cock straight at his face and gave it a few good strokes. I let out a loud moan and shot an enormous load at his face. He just crouched there with his eyes closed and his mouth wide open, trying to catch as much of the precious seed as he could. I looked at him when my orgasm died down and saw strands of cum hanging from his beard. I pulled him up by his armpits, wrapped my arms around him and gave him a deep kiss, tasting my semen on his breath. Within moments, I felt Mr. Nicholas’ hot seed spraying against my thigh.

I let him go, causing him to collapse with a big grin on his face. “Clean the cum off the floor. I’ve got business that I have to attend to.” Mr. Nicholas happily started licking the floor clean while I walked into a back room. A man was standing under a single light bulb hanging from a wire.

“Good evening, Mr. Callam. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Robert White. Pleased to meet you.” He walked forward to shake my hand, but I just stood there, glaring at him. Without missing a beat, he simply smiled and continued. “I understand if you do not wish to participate in pleasantries. That being said, I am sure that you are aware of the emergency that we must take care of this very moment.”

I just looked at Mr. White skeptically. “Emergency? What emergency? What is all of this about? Why am I, like, 65 years old now? Why am I having sex with random men?”

Mr. White hesitated briefly. “You see, for the past week, you have, essentially, and for lack of better phrasing, been growing something inside of you.”

This was all very confusing. “What, like I’m pregnant?”

“No, no, absolutely not. Not like that. It’s more like, well, it’s difficult to say. I think the best way to say it is that your body and mind have been generating a second person that is different from you, but also part of you. And that second person is reaching its height of existence and needs to be released. You may have felt this already.”

I thought back to that horrid feeling of something trying to get out of me. “Maybe. Where did it come from? How do I get rid of it?”

Mr. White grinned. “Are you sure that you want to get rid of it?” I almost answered yes, but stammered. “Look at yourself in the mirror. Right there, that’s a combination of you and him, as far as the two of you can get without my help.” I turned and saw myself, my white hair, my wrinkles, my muscles, and my huge, uncut cock. “We need to do something right away. Right now. To help the two of you become one. If we don’t, he’ll stick around for a couple of days, but he’ll shrivel up and die, and all of this will be gone.”

I felt panic at such a possibility. “What? What do we have to do to save him?”

He moved to the back of a chair. “Nothing serious. A little painful, but nothing that I’m sure you can’t handle.” He held up a piece of paper with a paw print on it. “You just have to get this tattoo. I think your chest would be a good spot.”

“I… I… don’t know. Really? This doesn’t make any sense. I’ve never gotten a tattoo before. Let me… let me think about it.”

Mr. White suddenly turned stern. “We don’t have time. If you want to go back to being that pathetic, fat weakling who told other people what to buy at the grocery store, then by all means, go ahead. But you will have destroyed something beautiful in the process, for a life that won’t mean anything in the long term. Don’t you wish to be strong and powerful, like you are now?”

He was right. Whatever this thing in me was, it had given me something that I didn’t think was possible. “Yeah, you’re fucking right.”

“And while we’re at it, what about that name? ‘Matthew Callam’? Will that really do?”

Yeah, Matthew Callam. A weak, pathetic name for a weak, pathetic man. I needed something that reflected what I had become and would continue to be. Something masculine. Something strong. Something that wasn’t prissy or effeminate in any way. Then, as if out of nowhere, I thought of something.

“Zeke. Yeah, Zeke. I think that I like that one.”

“Yes, excellent. Now, ‘Zeke,’ please sit down while I prepare you.” After I sat in the chair, he started shaving some of my chest hair on my right pec (which pissed me off more than a little), and then attached the polar bear paw print stencil. He pealed it away, leaving the shape behind. Within moments, I heard the soft buzz of the tattoo gun and braced myself. I told myself that I was tough enough to handle a tattoo, but could still feel my hand shake as it got closer. And then it made contact with the skin, which, to be honest, wasn’t really all that bad. It was more irritating than painful. I don’t know exactly how long it lasted, but it seemed like about a half hour. After a few pats with a wet paper towel, it was all over. I looked down and felt a strange sense of pride at the tattoo on my chest.

And then, the pain started. It was intense, probably about five times stronger than what I had felt back at my condo. I jumped from the chair screaming. “Aurghh! Ughhh! Aurghh!” It felt like it was in every cell in my body. I got onto my hands and knees, arching my back at the intensity. Soon, I felt hair sprouting from my neck, the sensation moving down my back. Yet, strangely, wherever the hair sprouted, the pain ebbed. The pain left. Like the change was what was supposed to be there. I looked in the wall-length mirror and saw the plume of hair spreading down my back and over my shoulders, each follicle contributing to the relief from pain. And yet, increasingly, it was looking less like hair and more like fur: thicker, fuller, more substantial. I could also feel my back and shoulder muscles expand and grow, making me feel better. It wasn’t just the muscles. It was like my bones and internal organs were expanding as well to support my increased size. The plume of fur crossed my chest, with the tattoo staying as a black, paw shaped fur imprint.

The fur spread down my arms and legs, also contributing the huge muscle growth in those areas. A pain erupted just above my ass and I roared with its intensity, until a thick tail emerged, sprouting fur along its six inch length. I growled as my snout lengthened, moving into my field of vision, now tipped with a wet, black nose. I could feel my lips turn rubbery in line with my tongue extending and becoming more pliable. And that’s not even getting into the feel of my teeth sharpening. Fur spread up my face The last change was to my male organs, and they burned just about the hottest. I roared at the pain, but it thankfully didn’t last long. The already impressive set of cock and balls enlarged quite dramatically, the testicles within a hairy scrotum, and the penis turning rock hard.

The transformation now complete, I stayed in place breathing heavily, unable to make a clear thought, my cock still fully erect. Then I turned my attention to Mr. White, and I felt the desire to do violence like I had never felt before. I wanted to tear into him and tear him apart and snap his bones in two and devour his flesh. But before I could pounce, Mr. Nicholas walked behind me and gave my erection one long stroke. That was all that it needed. My eyes turned back into their sockets and I shuddered as my balls emptied themselves right onto the floor. I collapsed from the intensity of the orgasm and just lay there, unable to move for I don’t know how long.

Once I could pick myself back up, I looked back at Mr. White, who had a huge grin on his face and walked towards me carrying my overalls. I still felt aggression towards him, but I was back in control of myself. I stood up onto my hind legs and looked at my hands, now covered in paw pads and tipped with claws. The room was full of smells both familiar and exotic. I looked in the mirror, shocked at the monster that looked back. The only things that were identical to the old me were my eyes; they still had the same piercing blue that they had always had. “What the fuck did you do to me?”

“Nothing that you didn’t want done in the first place. Don’t you prefer yourself this way?” I didn’t answer. He seemed to take that as a tacit “Yes.” “Now, put these back on. You want to be presentable for your new friends.”

I got dressed, but still didn’t understand what this was all about. “New friends? What is this? What’s going on? You… You brainwashed me. You made me do this. You’re… You’re a fucking monster. I’ll rip your fucking head off.”

He just smiled and walked to a nearby door, opening it up. “Oh, please. We both know that won’t happen. Just follow your instincts and enter here. Your new life awaits.” I wanted to argue and fight him, but the smells and the sounds coming from the door were rather appealing. Enough to make me forget about Mr. White altogether.

I walked through the door into a strange, forested area with a large cabin uphill of me. It seemed to be early morning, just before the sun was about to rise. Pinkish-orange light shown down from clouds, illuminating the tops of pine trees. A light dusting of snow covered the ground and my breath became visible with each exhale. Despite my relative lack of clothes, I found the chill invigorating. I heard a door click behind me and turned around to see a shed that I had apparently emerged from. I ran back to the shed, only to find that the door did not open back to that strange room. A small rise of panic filled my throat at being left here, but my curiosity overcame it and I walked up the cabin steps to see if anyone was home.

On the porch, I could hear loud snoring coming from inside. I lightly knocked on the door. I heard a muffled noise from inside. “Mmph. Hrmph. Yeah. Uh huh. Mmph.” Then more snoring. Getting irritated, I banged on the door. “Hey, get out here and tell me what the fuck is going on!” I heard a small cry of surprise and some noises that lasted for about 30 seconds, followed by footsteps moving towards the door.

The door opened, revealing a portly, nude brown bear man with a serious case of morning wood. “It’s before sunrise. I have made it abundantly clear not to wake me before sunrise!” His eyes widened in surprise. “Holy fuck, you’re a new person. How long have you been here?”

I struggled to think, trying to remember. “Uh, I don’t know. Something like two or three minutes, I think.”

The bear was clearly not happy with this response. “I need precision. What is it, two minutes or three minutes?”

“I’m not sure. Two minutes, I think.”

He huffed, clearly not happy with the answer. “It’ll have to do. Wait a moment, I’ll be right back, I have to write something down.” He went back inside with the door still open. I followed in and saw him scribbling on some sort of paper. “Been a while since the last one.”

“Been a while since the last what?”

“Since the last bear walked through that door.”

In retrospect, I should have known that I couldn’t have been the first. But this was all so new to me, I couldn’t help but feel a little shocked at this. “Wh-what? This is a regular thing for you?”

“Oh, I’ve seen a few dozen in my time. Wait, what the fuck is wrong with me? I haven’t properly introduced myself. Bubba’s the name. Pleasure to meet you,” he said, holding his hand out for me to shake.

I looked at the hand with trepidation, but went ahead and shook it. “Um, I’m Zeke. Nice to meet you, I suppose.”

Bubba looked at me suspiciously. “A polar bear. Haven’t had one of those yet. Not entirely sure how to feel about it. I’m guessing you’ll like the cold weather.”

“Of course I like cold weather. What, you think you’d have a polar bear who likes the summertime? You should be thankful that you have such a perfect specimen as me here.”

“I’d watch that arrogance of yours. We have lots of fine specimens here that can handle themselves just fine. We measure success here by what people contribute, not how much they can swing their balls.”

I started to get a little pissed. “’Arrogance’? You think I’m arrogant? I’m a model of human, err, I mean, bear perfection. And I can prove it. Why I don’t fuck you right now? Why don’t I show you just how much of a man I am?”

Bubba bopped me right on the snout. I wrinkled my nose; that actually hurt. My rage starting to bubble inside, I moved aggressively towards him. “You fucking little – ulk.” In one swift motion, Bubba had placed me into a headlock. I felt almost all of my air supply cut off, only small gasps getting through.

“I am not going to take any of this alpha male bullshit that you’ve got going on. That may have worked for you in the old world, and we may be able to channel some of it into some productive channels here, but we don’t accept guys trying to take over. So if you intend to behave yourself, I will find a spot for you. But if you don’t, then, well, I will just say that I am not going to let you run around free. So, what is your answer?”

He let up just enough to allow me to speak. “F-fuck you,” I managed to spit out.

Bubba strengthened his hold. “That was not the answer that I was looking for. Sigh. It looks like I will have to do this the hard way.” One handed, he undid the buttons on my overalls, allowing them to fall to the ground. He, somehow, managed to let go of my throat, but at the same time, slammed me to the ground face first in one motion. I briefly saw stars in front of my eyes. While I recovered, he carried me over to the bed in the corner. Despite my attempts to get up, he was strong enough to hold me down with one hand.

“Now, just lie there for a little while. I just need to find what’ll get you to fall in line. Everybody’s got their button that can be pushed. I just need to find yours.” He held me down with his full body weight and I was almost helpless to push against it.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that he was examining my nether regions. A big grin crossed his face. “Ah, I think I’ve got it. Brace yourself. This is almost surely going to be a first for you.” He plunged face first towards my buttocks and moments later I felt his rough tongue playing with my asshole.

“What the fuck are you … Oh. Ohhh. Oohhh,” I moaned out. What was this that I was experiencing for the first time? He licked me again, this time going deeper, and I shuddered at the experience.

Bubba chuckled. “I’m guessing this is your first rim job, huh?”

“Uh. Uh, yeah,” I managed to spit out. How could getting my asshole licked out feel this good? Honestly, only coming felt better. “K-keep at it.” And he did, knowing exactly what spot to hit next, how deep to go, when to spit in there, when to feel around, switching between clockwise and counter-clockwise. At times, he knew when to barely touch my hole, tickling it, making me squirm, almost making me beg for it, others, he would thrust in like it was an erect dick going in and out.

“You know what, I need to get a better opening. Turn over.” I obeyed and got onto my back. He lifted my legs in the air to get better access. And it somehow felt even better than it did the first time. My cock started drizzling all over my belly, soaking my fur and running off into the sheets. “Heh, you’ll find that we have to launder the bed sheets around here a lot. No bother, it comes with the territory. Now, back to business.” And he continued on like that for a good half hour at least, and I just let him, because I had never experienced anything so heavenly before.

Bubba finished his work and then stood up. “Now, I think you’re ready for something a little more substantial.” I was hardly in a condition to argue. “Brace yourself. This is likely going to hurt very goodly.” I felt a thick piece of meat rubbing against my ass crack, before it found my hole and started plunging in. I groaned at the sensation; it was intense and painful but not unpleasant. He made slow but powerful thrusts, each time, digging a little deeper inside of me. My mouth lolled and it became more difficult to think. All I cared about was the sensation. My rock hard dick practically turned into a faucet.

How long did it last? I don’t know. The sun had just risen when we started, but it was high in the sky when we finished. Bubba’s thrusts accelerated before he gave one final big one, and then I felt myself getting filled by him. Soon enough, my own member began spraying without any stimulation, first covering my furred chest, then hitting me squarely in the face. I licked my lips to get the full taste. Bubba pulled out and crawled up onto me, the cum getting into his fur, and then started licking my face clean.

I looked down at the soaked bed sheets. “Yeah, seems we need to get some laundry done.”

Bubba smiled. “Not right now. I need to teach you how things are done here. Now that you seem to be tamed, we can find a place for you. A type A personality can be very useful. And a polar bear; that’s a big help in the winter time.”

Over time, I still felt a certain desire to assert my will over Bubba, and any other bear who decided to visit us from their farm or ranch. However, he had a knack for keeping me in line. Plus, he was the only one who could give me a rim job perfectly, the way I loved them. The others were fine, but there was no substitute for Bubba.

I adapted, but my aggression and entitlement never entirely went away. They were always there, waiting to be released if Bubba ever slipped up. That is until Hank entered my life. But that’s a different story.