"A hungry stomach, an empty wallet, and a broken heart can teach you the most important lesson of your life" -Robin Williams
We all experience heartbreaks at some point in our lives and it doesn’t matter what wrong we did and what the other side did right. The breakup is not entirely your fault and they are often inevitable. You are not alone who feels this heartache. How Do I Get Him Back?- https://4ef7fbnns70-i3vn883wdq2lb1.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=110885
There is no way you can avoid feeling depressed over heartbreak unless you are a Robot. According to the journal of experimental psychology, there is a variety of cognitive strategies that we need to try to get over heartbreak.
The prime point here is time, care, faith, and emotion you invest in that relationship. Often, people have degraded themselves just for the sake of building the relationship which ended a while ago.
The pain one experiences at that time stops her from letting go and moving forward in life. Because, there are many gifts in life awarded by the god that we are forget at that time.
We are so overwhelmed by the whole circumstance that it leads to almost losing our sanity and that is not beneficial for our mental health.
There are some definite measures; you can follow to get over heartbreak.
Keep in mind that these steps are not only to follow to get out of heartbroken situation but also to fit them into your life. Because there are no magic bullets out there that can make you get out of this broken feeling. So you need to find one for yourself.
Allow yourself to feel the emotion
This might sound a bit weird to some of you because many people are running from the emotion that they are experiencing and want an escape from it. If they do something wrong that emotionally effected you then it’s your right to feel angry. Anger is a natural phenomenon and you can’t run from it. Don’t hold it in your heart because it comes out in future and might impact your personality.
This is such a raw phenomenon and as a human being, it’s okay to be sensitive. Today if you don’t conquer this pain then it eventually reapers and haunts back. So try to face it and embrace it with full courage.
The right way is to channelize your energy in the right direction. When you start observing your thoughts and besides that analyze the whole circumstance leads you to find a solution for your problem. Let me add another point, you can love the same person whom you are breaking up with. Allow yourself to recognize that when we are not in that relationship for some other reason yet we can feel the love for that particular person. Values, morals, and compatibility can play their role in the relationship. Love itself is an overwhelming feeling that has a perk in which we can care for the other person and yet we do not need to be a part of their life. It is a beautiful feeling in the world but it’s not the only one but many emotions that are equally significant in our lives
The whole process eventually ends up when you find yourself in the process. Dr. Marthalee who was the founder of Eros coaching told the elite daily “how painful it is”, it’s good to fully experience all the pain and emotion rather than oppression and avoiding that feeling.
Cut off Communication
Cut off contacts to your ex. for a while for the sake of your wellbeing. Being in contact with him to rebuild the relationship portrays you as an immature person. Many people are doing this because letting go of that relationship is terrifying for them. Keeping the friendship is not bad but after some time and it depends upon the circumstance also.
When you feel heartbroken then you might be a little vulnerable too. Thus, you must draw boundaries to protect yourself from the unwanted problems and heartbreaks that can lead to more suffering.For instance you are working in the same firm or you both have children then you must realize that friendship and casually talking is different from each other. When two individuals care about each other that's called a real friendship. In these circumstances, the other person does not care about you then what's the point of expecting a good friendship bond with him.
You both had a bad relationship because he didn't treat you well and didn't care for you then still having contact with him won't help you rather it will make your condition more worse.The only picture of him reminds you of all types of past emotions you have shared and that lead you to unwanted drama and sufferings.
If you are communicating with him, your doings can leave a bad impact on him about you. For instance, you possess low self-esteem. When you don’t value yourself enough then nobody can value you either. If you need to talk with that person then just be friends without having expectations. The relationship you shared in the past has to be past. Let bygones be bygones and move on with your life.
Take time to heal
You are going through a devastating time and nobody on this earth can imagine what you are experiencing at that time. The good news is you are not alone in this. After a breakup or maybe heartbreak is a powerful emotion it can’t vanish in one day. Heartaches take time to heal because after that it’s very difficult to be normal again and trust people who care for you.
A study shows that an average American takes 3 months and 11 days to get over heartbreak. Being sad is fine and when you allow it to feel and it eventually starts vanishing off. The key is patience with you. As brilliant people quote”:” patience is a great virtue’’
As the popular theory on social media, you need half the amount of time to get over than the time you have spent on that particular relationship. The recovery state always comes with an ambiguous timeline because it depends on how much time you give to that relation.
Some people’s heartache feelings vanish in a month and some people take this grief up to more than a year. It is a very subjective state.
Stop Unnecessary Expectations
Do not overburden your mind with unnecessary expectations. Things take time to heal especially when someone’s heart is broken then the time limit doesn’t matter. You might hear this phrase states “time is a great healer” indeed it’s true. Trust the process and give yourself time.
Many people got ashamed by taking more time to go over the healing process but it should not be like that everybody’s journey is different from each other so you shouldn’t judge yourself because great things take time. Keeping your loved ones; like your friends and family as a support system helps you to go through this grieving process. You need those support systems because you have to make sure you are not alone at this time.
You should go for a vacation, catch up with friends and start a new hobby. I know that it's going to end soon.
WORKOUT HELPS
It might be a surprise for you all but trust me, to exercise helps. There is a hormone called endorphins produced during exercise helps and it is beneficial for you to be in proper shape and gain your confidence back.
Breakup is the best excuse or we can say a gift from God by which you can learn treat yourself. You can learn to value yourself. You can exercise at home or at best you can also join a gym for that reason.
Make new friends at the gym set new goals, and work on them. Your future itself will say thank you for this decision. To Exercise alone has many mental health benefits. It builds your focus and helps you to go through emotional distress as well.
There was a research conducted in New York and the question was “: Is exercise or any type of workout beneficial after a breakup or not?” Almost all of them said that after the workout session most of the people feel more confident like never before. The feeling of worthlessness has somewhat vanished and they feel a sense of purpose in their life.
Yoga is another type of meditation in which a person becomes calmer and feels his deepest desires and weakness. Through this regular practice, yogis can let out all the garbage, the victim used to carry in her broken heart.
Heidi Kristopher is a yogi who says yoga is a more traditional and cultural form by which someone gets over a breakup or a heartbreak. A seasonal yoga teacher allows you to think that you are enough for yourself; you do not need someone to complete you. You have a worth and you can add value to this world. Exercise makes your sure that you are not dependent on anyone.
In yoga culture, there is a term called arm balance that also determines that you are strong and powerful and have the potential to hold yourself without the help of anyone else.
After experiencing yoga, you start living in the present, not in the future or past. You are not dwelling here yet it is just for the sake of getting mental piece.
Self-love is the golden key
Before you apply it to your life you must comprehend what is self-love.
The state of appreciating yourself in a way that keeps your physical and mental well-being is in a good place is known as self-love. Whoever is practicing self-love always has high regard for their selves; they are their own biggest supporters. The core of it concludes that you are not sacrificing your well-being for others.
Now, you will understand the importance of self-love in your life. When the person who is the cause of the heartache which you are experiencing, is the one with whom you were comfortable enough to share all the weaknesses and vulnerabilities and that same douche is the one who is the reason for your pain and sorrow.
The same person causes you to feel worthless and meaningless in life. The person, close to you makes you feel like a used thing that he just accompanies you to pass the time. Comprehend this phrase into your mind that your identity is not what he told you. You are more than enough and you don’t need anybody to complete yourself. The first ladder step is to recognize this simple fact that you are more than a failed relationship and you possess a separate personality.
If he hurt your self-esteem then it’s time to rebuild yourself in a manner that nobody can be disrespectful towards you. Once you comprehend this reality that his thoughts and idea about you are not your actual part of existence.
A study conducted on 155 undergraduate students who had their breakup almost 11 days before the study is conducted. Most of the students were feeling empowered, self-confident, and content. This result appears because when you are in a relationship, the other counterpart surrounds your life, thoughts, and emotions. It happens when you are naive or too young and most people at this age are not mature and believe that they are going to live together for the rest of their lives.
It feels like a constant regret in your heart because you are blaming yourself for that and that puts a heavy burden. You must let go of all the weight that you are carrying. Believe it or not, it resides in forgiving the person who is the reason for your sorrows. I know it is difficult and almost impossible for some people. But if you do so, it shows that you are a compassionate and kind-hearted person.
It also doesn’t mean that you can communicate with each other like before. But what I am saying is that you acknowledge all the good things you share and earn from the mistakes you did in the past. This practice eventually helps you get out of the painful state.
Love is inadequate
Am I letting you jump out of your skin?
If I talk about myself, love is not enough at any time in life. More determinants affect the relationship. Only love is not guaranteed for a successful relationship. People depend only on love when they are too young and they believe that love is going to solve all the issues that come their way but unfortunately that’s not the case.
If a couple decides to separate their ways because they realize their paths are different from one another. It does not mean they do not love each other but it is because they also need care, respect, and space to grow them. It’s not being choosy, it just has a different perspective on life and also it is a crucial part of self-love or self-care.
We think love and happiness is the ultimate goal of life but for some chunk of people, it is not for sure that is the reason they decided to part their ways.
It is possible that you are feeling loved and happy at surface level in the beginning but after you progress in the relationship then you may feel that you are compromising says Melissa Divaris Thompson a family therapist.
She further adds that it’s easy to mentally align with someone whose morals are similar to you. It is beneficial for you in the long run because it doesn’t complicate things rather make situations easier to handle for both of you. Unfortunately, love is not contagious. Most likely you might be in a relationship that one person is happy and in love and the other person is not.
This is the hard reality of life and these fantasy novels don’t tell you about it. This is happening in most relationship because both have different expectations from life.
Through movies, we can perceive that love is the only solution for all the problems in the world like it can solve all major conflicts in the world. But we have ever thought of putting a question mark on this? Do we? The answer is we don’t. We all love to be a part of the man-made dreamland. As human beings, we need respect care for humanity and regard it as a basic need of living on this planet earth according to Maslow’s theory. Also, you need love apart from that as well.
You need to understand before going onto another relationship that compatibility is something you can’t compromise on. You can head over heels with someone and it doesn’t guarantee a successful relationship.
Being in love with someone is not directly proportional to compatibility.
You need to have some with similar interests that you can be in his company and something to talk about. Some terrible persons abuse the other person just for the sake of competition:
Ask yourself this life is worth living?
Stop living in a fantasy world:
Most of the people do not want to be in that relationship back and they don’t want to be with the same person who causes this heartbreak. But they have a feeling that it would have been a better relationship or they did something wrong.
Because relationships end for a reason, there is a long list of why relationships suffer.
People don’t realize that they are just mourning for a relationship which no longer exists and their mornings do not help them in any way possible. As an adult, you have to understand that there are more people around you and who care of you, and this behavior of locking yourself, and cutting off all the contacts with your beloved ones happens to be a disaster for you.
So get yourself out of the fantasy world and it’s not a fairy tale where every relationship ends happily ever after. It is real life with real human beings who make mistakes, blunders, and even big sins and there are regrets as well.
Every relationship starts with a good note and very high expectations. Without this, any relationship would have not been started.
Everyone starts a relationship with a dream and that dream results from the fantasy that we used to see in the movies or novels. We do not think that this relation comes to an end like this way. It has to be an eye-opener for her if she still loves her. She needs to come out of fantasy world in order to stop shattering her dreams. It’s not easy to let go of all of the ambitions which you associate with him but it significant for you to move forward.
I f you really want to get over with broken heart. I would highly recommend you jot down all the memories you had with that person. For every suffering that you experience with the relationship in particular timeline, you can write it down. It will help you to get through all these emotions systematically and you won’t find yourself in the complexities.