How Long Does Heartbreak Last?

Life has a funny way of breaking and then mending a person and most importantly, the person’s heart and soul.

Let us first define what a Heartbreak actually is.

A heartbreak as defined by the Behavioural Psychologist and Relationship Coach, Jo Hemmings, is “Essentially, a state of devastating emotional loss”. She also continues by saying that while emotions that we suffer and bear during the heartbreak vary from person to person, there are common emotions that everyone bears, feels, and suffers which are intense feelings of sadness, grief, and an overwhelming feeling of never being to able to get past the pain.

Jo Hemmings also says that a bad breakup will immerse you into five stages of Grief which are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally, Acceptance and she also says that there are often relapses in these stages.

So, we now have an idea of what a Heartbreak actually is and what the common emotions or feelings a person suffers during a heartbreak are.

As the famous Oscar Wilde puts it, “Hearts are made to be broken”.

When you read that quotation, you would realize that our Heart is made up of so many emotions naturally and instinctively is bound to be broken by anything or any person, the majority of it is by a person. But that doesn’t mean if you are human and have a heart you are always going to be going through Heartbreak. No, you won’t but when you do, you are going to be needing all the help that you can get because trust me It’s a worse feeling and a worse period to go through.

A human evolves and changes through the period of their heartbreak, be it a romantic heartbreak, or due to the loss of someone.

This evolution is certainly not always a positive one. Many start dwelling on a life that they had not imagined, a quiet life. A person might be joyful, an energetic one but his or her heartbreak changes him to be a quiet person, it completely changes the person, and while others, take life lessons and move forward. The moving forward is really tough than it seems. There are many that can still not move on and still yearn for their lost loved ones.

So, while all of these emotions that you suffer are natural, it is how we humans are, it does not mean that you can’t get help.

This article will provide you some of the answers to what a person going through a heartbreak usually has but can’t get and so that person is left in the dark, not knowing what to do next or how long will the pain or the suffering last.

So, tighten your seatbelts, sit tight and let us give you the answers to the most common questions a person with heartbreak has. Let’s get started-

How Long Does Heartbreak Last?

This might be one of the first questions a person might be getting right after realising that they have lost their loved one, be it your boyfriend or girlfriend or anyone.

Managing heartbreak is an art and is different for everyone and so it depends on the person’s mental ability about how long does a heartbreak last for them.

But this doesn’t mean we can’t take anything from science. A number of studies have shown how we can deal with it and how long does it lasts.

There is no specific timeline about when would a person get over their Ex or get over their heartbreak as when it comes to the matters of emotions or feelings, there can not be anything that can be said firmly. However, many psychologists base their answers and results on different studies done regarding the matters of heartbreak.

For example, one study here shows that it takes around 3-months or 11-weeks to be precise for a person to feel good or positive about their breakup.

But well, as stated above, you can’t say anything firmly when it comes to matters of the heart, emotions, or feelings. You can have a general idea of how long would a heartbreak last but you should keep in mind that it depends on the person. For some, it takes longer than just 3 months.

One thing however to note here is that you can’t just wait for the 3-months time period to get over and expect for things to get better. You don’t have to stop grinding and you don’t have to stop following the coping strategies devised by the Therapists.

Studies have been done on how to get over heartbreak. The studies were done to understand the effectiveness of some of the coping strategies involving recovering from heartbreak. The three coping strategies were Thinking bad things about your Ex, Owning and Accepting your Love for a Former Partner, and Distracting yourself by thinking about good things which have nothing to do with your Ex.

What are the signs that your Ex is testing you and If your Ex-Girlfriend is Testing you?

This is might be one of the common questions peers would ask themselves and others when being in a relationship. It is a state of confusion and you can’t really understand what your Ex is trying to do.

Your Ex might be giving you mixed signals from time to time and your mind is constantly working round the clock trying to understand what is she trying to say or do.

There can be numerous reasons or reasons that would only the person as to why they put their Exes into tests but one of the common and major reasons is thinking to get back together with your Ex. Now this might be a huge decision as your mind would be ringing alarm bells and telling you this is the person that has made you go through so much, why would you want to get back with the person again, so because of this your Ex might put you through some tests where if you passed, your Ex might consider getting back with you and if you failed then he or she might be right and there are slim chances of you two getting back together.

Well, you don’t have to trouble your mind anymore as the following are the signs that your Ex is testing you, hopefully, you’ll be able to relate many of the signs here if not all.

Let’s have it then.

1. Casual Reach Out

This is kind of obvious but when we usually forget it is that your Ex is trying to give you a signal about whether or not you’d like to get back together again and while this is a long shot and something to think about in the future, a Casual Reach Out is indeed the starting step, a small step but a significant one.

One thing that you have to and need to remember is that Do not ignore your Ex when he or she reaches out to you.

2. Checking whether you have a new Romantic Interest

Before you go on and re-commit with a person you once broke up with, the first thing you are going to do and think about is whether your Ex does or does not have a Romantic Interest.

While your Ex wouldn’t do this by being obvious, he or she might do or enquire about such by laying low and by not drawing too much attention.

This is another sign that your Ex is testing you.

3. Specific Questions about New Relationship

You might wonder why would your Ex have a sudden interest in your romantic life all of a sudden and well the answer to your wondering is that she is thinking or interested in getting back to you. He or she might not do this without doing prior research and one of the things your Ex will research is your current relationship. One of the signs that your Ex would do is come up to you and ask you in a shy, low voice whether or not you’re dating a specific person.

What are the signs your Ex is Pretending To Be Over You?

I mean, let’s be honest, it is not easy to get over someone you once loved and wanted to spend your life with. You might have done future planning, family planning and adjusted your life with the goals you want to achieve with your significant other. If I tell you now that if you broke up, would you be able to get over the shatterings of your Plannings that you did? I think the answer would be no.

Hence, it is not easy and more commonly, you and/or your ex might not have gotten over you and he or she might clearly giving you signs that hey dude I miss you, can we be back together?

You need to have a hawk-eye to flag these signs and understand what your Ex is trying to say and going through.

The signs that your Ex is pretending to be over you are as below

1. The Jealousy Game

If there is one thing the social media has done really effectively for people that have broken up is making each other jealous or the one is making the other jealous. Your Ex might do something like posting photos with attractive males or females or posting song lyrics or quotations that suggest that he or she (your Ex) doesn’t give a shit about you which in fact they clearly do.

So, when you encounter this jealousy game, realise that your Ex is not over you and might be open to getting back with you again.

2. Your Ex staring at You

In most of the places, you are going to encounter your Ex in public life, be it at malls, school or college or anywhere else and that means you two are going to have a little chat and even if you don’t, you’ll realise that your Ex is staring at your madly or he or she can not take their eyes off of you. This is another sign that your Ex is pretending to be your over and wants to get back to you.

Some of the other signs that point towards your Ex pretending to be over you are as below

• They are being Ultra-Considerate.

• Acting Beyond Happy.

• Acting Angry Towards You.

• Left Their Things / Still Hold On To Your Things.

• Almost Erased You.

• Turning their Friends Into Spies.

What To Do If Your Ex is in a Rebound Relationship?

We first need to understand or define what a Rebound Relationship is and then move on to what to do if your ex is in a rebound relationship.

A rebound relationship is a quick fix for someone who just got out of a bad, long-term romantic relationship. They may not have healed from the emotional trauma that they have endured by the breakup and so they get into a relationship with another person without actually feeling anything for the said person. So, this specific relationship of your Ex with another person is then termed as a Rebound Relationship.

So, now comes the question, what should you do?

You should prioritize your well-being and maintain a no-contact rule with your Ex. If you try and stay in touch with your Ex while he or she is in a rebound relationship, trust me, it will and I’m dead sure it will blowback in your face and all the slim chances that you might have had of getting back together with your Ex will not have vanished and so you might have to go through extra pain along with the pain of your Break up.

So, remember to have a no-contact rule with your Ex who is in a Rebound Relationship.

The second thing you need to do is prioritise your well-being. After all, your health is important than anything else. You’ve been single for a while now and you have the opportunity to make yourself your number one priority. I understand that it can be tough, but by practicing emotional control, many benefits are waiting if you do so. Not only will this keep them from running away or making fun of themselves because they'll lash out in anger at an ex-partner who's rebounding with someone else—you also develop more self-confidence and worth when choosing what is a good long term option for you instead of acting on impulsively like acting without realizing anything other than their immediate gratification (which isn't healthy).

Will my Ex Come Back?

We all have the feelings and emotions of wanting our Exes to come back and be with us and live happily just like we used to and also make amends, but it’s not so easy right.

Well, there are some things or signs that you can look out for which can suggest that your Ex might be open to coming back and so you might have a sigh of relief and wait for the day your Ex approaches you.

Following are the signs

1. Your Ex Broke Up in the Heat of the Moment-

We all know that when we are angry, our emotions are high and we tend to speak and do things that are impulsive and without prior thinking. If your ex has broken up with you in the heat of the moment know that your Ex will be back as when things cool down, he will understand what he did was in the heat of the moment.

2. Your Ex telling you He or She doesn’t want a Breakup-

If your ex broke up with you and told you that they do not want a Break up then it suggests that your Ex wasn’t sure about the Breakup but still went ahead with it and one of the signs that your Ex gives you is that they verbally or non-verbally tell you that they do not or did not want a breakup.

This is another sign that suggests your Ex will be back.

Conclusion

We all have had our share of Breakups and we would be lying if we didn’t think or want to have our Exes back.

All of us want to know if the love that we had with our ex will eventually come back. When a breakup happens, it's natural for you to constantly ask yourself "when is he or she coming back?" You're going through stages of denial and grief when your mind wants nothing more than hope- even just for one day. But resisting those thoughts can only hurt you in the long run because they don't help at all! Instead, focus on what YOU need to do to become a better person who deserves an amazing relationship (even without them). Maybe someday your partner may realize how much their mistake cost him/herself and return or maybe not but no matter what always stay true and loyal to yourself because you are the one who matters in the end.