Mother - Sister

Vaishali S. 10.26.25

“He will understand only when it happens to his mother or sister.”

People say this every time a woman is assaulted.

Every time.

As if the pain becomes real only when it touches a man’s honor.

As if empathy is born only through blood relations.

But why?

Why must his sister pay for his sins?

Why should his mother suffer for what he did?

If a man harasses a girl, they say:

“When it happens to his sister, he’ll understand.”

No.

He should understand now.

Because pain doesn’t have to enter your home to be pain.

A crime against one woman is a crime against all humanity.

Yet we continue to tie her pain to his family, as if a woman

only matters when she’s “someone’s.”

Mother.

Sister.

Daughter.

Wife.

Always belonging to someone. Never

being on her own.

And then we talk about her “honor.”

What honor?

A society that blames, stares, and still dares to compare — that’s

not honor. That’s hypocrisy.

Why do we say —

“When it happens to his sister”?

Why can’t we say —

“When he does it, it is already enough to shame him”?

We never say,

“When a thief steals, his family should be robbed too.”

We never say,

“When a murderer kills, his mother should be killed; to teach him a

lesson.” Then why do we say this when it comes to women?

Maybe because society sees women as extensions of men– not

as individuals.

Maybe because empathy here has a surname linked

to the man she belongs to.

But his sister is innocent. His mother

may have raised him, yes, but she

didn’t raise a rapist–

the world did.

The world that told him he’s powerful.

The world that told him silence is strength.

The world that told him a woman’s “no” can be ignored.

And when he commits a crime, the

same world says:

“When it happens to his sister, he’ll understand.”

No.

He won’t.

Because the problem isn’t about him not feeling

pain, it’s about him not recognizing women as

humans.

Stop dragging innocent women into his punishment.

Stop wishing pain on his family to prove a point.

Instead you can say:

“When he will be punished, the world will understand.”

His sister doesn’t need to suffer.

His mother doesn’t need to cry.

He needs to change.

The system needs to change.

The mindset needs to change.

Because until we stop measuring pain in relationships,

justice will remain just a word.

A woman deserves respect– not

because she’s someone’s sister, not

because she’s someone’s mother,

but because she’s someone.