HOW GRANDPA ROLLED
He learned to make teeth when drafted for the war
Married Flossy set up shop at their own back door
No license or schoolin’ for his new denture trade
He had a home office 'n his plans were well laid
Now Herb loved a party, to drink, sing, and dance
Pulled over by a cop missing teeth by chance
Herb took a swig of vodka hooch fer courage from within
Said Officer I can help you with that super toothless grin
He was larger than life the town denturist after all
Turtlenecks ‘n gold chains sayin' what do you think of me y'all
Not a humble bone in his cheeky cheery soul
You just can’t make up this shhh-stuff cause that’s how grandpa rolled
One day Flossy walked down the hall ‘n opened the door
Found Herb and his secretary Fang doing it on the floor
But Flossy just sighed saying Let’s get one thing straight
I'll have shiny teeth now given our new marital state
He was larger than life the town denturist after all
Turtlenecks ‘n gold chains sayin' what do you think of me y'all
Not a humble bone in his cheeky cheery soul
You just can’t make up this shhh-stuff cause that’s how grandpa rolled
Now his unlicensed practice was catching up with him
Dodging court dates until a police escort took him in
When the judge says Herbert where have ya been
Make me some new teeth 'n I'll wipe your record clean
He was larger than life the town denturist after all
Turtlenecks ‘n gold chains sayin' what do you think of me y'all
Not a humble bone in his cheeky cheery soul
You just can’t make up this shhh-stuff cause that’s how grandpa rolled
Yeah, that’s how my Grandpa rolled
© 2026 KL Caird