An idol? She doesn't have to be. But it would be nice if she could mean something. Veerle Dejaeger, thé talent from the wildly popular teen series 'wtFOCK'. Doubting between the textbooks and the set. “What's missing in my life, is peace and quiet. Typical, for a nineteen-year-old in 2020. ”

"Sometimes I notice people staring on the streets. They pass me and I just féél that they keep watching.” Veerle Dejaeger (19) has arrived at that point: well-known, but not too much yet. Not with the general public, at least. Thanks to 'wtFOCK', the commercial engineer student at the 'VUB' can start dreaming of an acting career. A Flemish teen series in which she plays one of the most beloved characters, Zoë Loockx. You don't know what we mean? You're not alone. According to Google, 'wtFOCK' was the most searched word in our country last year. Although, it might be because the series is immensely popular among teenagers: almost half of the 15 to 20-year-olds follow the show, which is of course about love and friendship, but also about more difficult themes such as loneliness, homosexuality and identity. And don't forget their actress with a hijab: Nora Dari.

What is special about it? Episodes are dropped online in real time, exactly when they should be happening in real life. They can also be seen later on on Telenet's VIJF and Play. Not only the series itself, but also each character has their own Instagram account. Three out of four viewers follow 'wtFOCK' via their website, 86 percent of them are younger than 24. And that audience suddenly saw a 'wtFOCK' spin-off appear in full lockdown. 'wtFOCKDOWN', in which the actors have conversations with each other behind their laptops. In April alone, it was viewed 1.4 million times.

During the first weeks of corona, Veerle Dejaeger was still living in a dorm room in Brussels. Now, she moved back to her parents' house and communicates with her professors through her laptop. Soon she'll be expected to go to the 'VUB' campus for her exams. “I think it's quite difficult: you get up, sit at your desk and at night, you crawl back into bed. There's nothing else. On the one hand, you constantly feel like you're in an exam period. And the real one still has to start. On the other hand, the bustle around me that's disappeared, brought peace in my head, strangely enough. Suddenly there was more room for me-time. That pleases me.”

You're studying to become a commercial engineer, but at the same time you dream of becoming an actress. That seems like a decent split to me. Can you give us a look inside your head?

“My brother is a commercial engineer, my sister is a bio-engineer and my father is a pilot. It kind of runs in the family. (smiles) It's what we grew up with: finish your secondary education, go to college and then look for a job. That diploma is a piece of certainty and it's important for the future. But the artistic part has always been inside me. It's a way to give a place to my sensitive side. I quickly realized that acting was going pretty well for me and there was still room to grow. As long as that works, I want to try to combine both. I think it's important to challenge the intellectual part of myself as well and learn how the world works. How something, like an economy, works. But in the end I see myself getting lost in acting. That's where my real passion lies."

So what's the plan now?

“I would like to finish my bachelor's degree in commercial engineering and then follow an acting course abroad. The USA or England. To improve my English too. But it all depends on how my acting career in Belgium progresses. For example, after auditions I just landed a role in a new TV series. It remains to be seen how that'll affect my schedule. It's still difficult. I once auditioned for a movie where I didn't get the part. It was very disappointing to realize that I wasn't good enough yet. Or I see scenes of myself and I think: 'shit, I'm really not doing solid acting work, what's going wrong?' It frustrates me that sometimes I don't act the same way as I see certain scenes in my head. Then doubt comes: will I succeed as an actress? What I do, I want to do well. Yes, I am quite an overachiever.” (laughs)

How were you as a child? Your nose in the school books and your hands at the puppet theater?

“As a child, I had quite a few problems with studying. But that's because I always questioned everything. One plus one equals two. You shouldn't ask questions. I had a hard time dealing with that. I also did a lot of ballet. There are videos where you see me standing on stage with a big smile. For a long time, I thought I wanted to be a dancer. Until I accidentally came across a call for a film audition through 'Ketnet' in the sixth year of primary school. That intrigued me. I actually was part of the last three, but in the end, I didn't make it. I really cried, because I was so close to it. (laughs) And so, I slowly started to dance less and act more. One day, I saw a call from a student who was going to make a short film. And like that, I was on a set for the first time in the summer of 2017. Then I realized: I'm sold. This is where I have to be. It's him who steered me towards the auditions for the series that ultimately became my breakthrough.”

You said that your father is a pilot. What did you think of that as little Veerle? Special?

"He was actually a F-16 pilot! He was in the military. That was pretty normal for me. We went to watch air shows where my father took off in a jet plane in front of me, but I thought that was normal. He no longer flies and now I think it's more special than before. I still occasionally gloat about it. (laughs) What I do remember, is that time when we went on a school trip to the caves of Han. He flew past there. 'Look carefully', he told me, 'if you hear loud airplanes, it's me'. When we heard those planes, I shouted proudly: 'that's my daddy!' But nobody believed me. Not even the teacher. But it was my dad.”

Do you have some of his sense of adventure inside of you?

“My father's not afraid of anything or anyone, while my mother is more likely to panic. And I'm a mixture of both. Just like my father, I always want to discover things, but at the same time there's always that little voice that says: 'be careful!' On the one hand, curiosity triggers me and makes me do things, on the other hand that little voice... The conflict is exhausting sometimes. But I don't want to live in fear, so I fight it."

If we leave out corona for a moment: what's difficult about being 19 in 2020?

“Life goes by so fast and you just go along with it. I almost try creating that rush for myself. Everything has to move forward and I have to be constantly busy. I just can't stop myself from doing anything. Peace and quiet is missing in my life. And somehow, I live for that too, because I like to be busy. But that's really something that defines 2020, for a 19-year-old. Everything is possible. And the luxury that there is so much to do, makes it difficult. It wears me out.”

“Something that also characterizes the 2020 generation, is a certain anxiety. I also hear it from others. Because there are so many possibilities, but also a great fear of failure at the same time. And I feel that, not only mentally, but also physically. I set the bar very high for myself. Sometimes it really gives me palpitations. Others hyperventilate or have panic attacks. Of course, also caused by the excess of stimuli. Sometimes, so overwhelming.”

What do you think adults don't understand about today's youth? What bothers you?

“The world is so big for us. We see everything. I feel like they're much more close-minded about that. That they don't always get that. We want to be out there. Want to be who we are. They think: put yourself in a box, that's much better. Take homosexuality, transgender, LGBTQ,… that's normal for us. I recently saw a commercial of two kissing boys and it occurred to me: that makes sense to me, but I understand that it's different for our parents or grandparents. Or immigrants. I can be very annoyed when I hear scary thoughts about these things. Because the world is no longer as closed as it used to be.”

What if: I take away your smartphone. What happens then?

“I'm addicted. I admit. (laughs) My phone really is a part of me. At the same time, I can manage to sometimes shut down all of my social media. For example, during exam season or when I have to study for an audition. But how nice is that: you're busy all day and in the evening, in your bed, you get to see what your friends have been through. And suddenly they all start sending funny things. Sometimes I really cry with laughter in my bed. Even when those people aren't with me, I still feel their presence and they make me happy. People are often negative about those smartphones, but sometimes it is just really fun.”

Once upon a time, you weren't blonde.

“Yes, I used to have long, brown hair. It's funny: if you compare the photos from then and now, they really are two different Veerles. Even my friends said: that's really baby Veerle. (laughs) And it's true. That hair has created a sort of border. When I had brown hair, I wasn't the Veerle I am today, at all. I've grown quite a bit in a few years. And my blonde hair has pretty much become the symbol of that turnaround. Not only for myself, but also for the people around me. I'm now a different Veerle."

If I ask those friends to describe you, what would they say?

“Spontaneous, exuberant, full of character, caring, critical and complex. A bit, yeah… weird. That's something they often say. 'She's not normal, that child.' (laughs) If my boyfriend was there, he would agree. Sometimes he really thinks: what did I bring home? But I can't help it, it's sometimes stronger than myself. But yes, that might be the actress inside of me, who then takes over and sometimes suddenly starts playing a role. And that could last for a long time. (laughs) During the lockdown, I did discover I'm actually more introverted than I thought. I would describe myself as a super extravert, but now I've realized how much of that social aspect comes from others. It's expected of you. You live according to your schedule, instead of your own rhythm. I loved the first weeks of the lockdown, alone in the room. I've rediscovered myself a bit. I started baking, and did watercoloring. I realized that because of the hustle and bustle, I forget to ask myself the question: but what do you want now?”

What would you like to happen? What big dream do you want to share? Becoming famous?

“I don't have to be an idol. But it would be nice if I could mean something. I strive for that. To accomplish something for myself, which also has a certain meaning to others. But people looking up to me? That's not necessary. I think that's quite a difficult side to acting. Take someone like Emma Watson, who rose to fame with the 'Harry Potter' films. She's an example to me. But mainly because of what she has to say. The statements she makes. It's not that I want to be the way she is.

“I had a hard time in high school, because I wanted to achieve a lot, but at the same time wasn't sure what. I wanted progress, but had no idea where I wanted to be. Right now, I'm happy with where I am. So I don't want to spend too much time thinking long term. I really want to live in the now. I even get a little scared of imagining myself old and not knowing what it'll look like, what I did with my life."

A little dream then? Something tangible?

“I want children. (laughs) And I want to have lived in New York. I've been there twice already and I think that city is very inspiring. You can be who you want to be, do what you want to do. That's really a city where I see myself. Even if it's not all my life. It's too busy for that. And I would also like to travel to Japan, because I think they have a very beautiful culture. Like Buddhism and Hinduism. I planned a big trip this summer, to Asia or South America, but unfortunately that's now canceled.”

At the beginning of this year, you wrote on Instagram that 2020 would be all about growth for you.

“I love that feeling. Discovering new things and gaining knowledge makes me so much richer. I absolutely want more of that feeling. Growing as a person, is my passion. That's why I really enjoy talking to people and getting to know them as intensely as possible. Superficial conversations are not for me. I hate small talk. It's: how are you, good, and with you, good. No, rather: who are you, what do you think about this, how do you feel about it? I learn a lot from that.”

She takes one last sip of her cup of tea, flings the backpack over her shoulder and then she's gone. Into the wide world.

Text: © Hans-Maarten Post