Gwenpool's Wedgie Wonderland

“Okay, so just to remind myself, and not to ‘set the scene’ or anything,” Gwenpool muttered to herself, twirling a pair of shiny, magical handcuffs around her finger as she rode her pink and white bedazzled motorcycle through New Jersey towards a small town called West View. “Polaris—Lorna-freaking-Dane—hired me, Gwenpool, to give the Scarlet Witch a wedgie. Not just a wedgie, but any super, mega wedgie I can think of. Because what better way to settle sibling rivalry than with a super yank, right?”

She paused, glanced at the reader as if to confirm the absurdity of her mission. “And these handcuffs? They supposedly will nullify Wanda’s reality-warping powers. Supposedly. I’ve got a bad feeling about this… but hey, a job’s a job!” Gwen shrugs as she turns back to the road and pops a wheelie while passing a “Welcome to West View” sign.

As Gwendollyn began passing through the small town, she noticed everyone was staring at her. “Huh, not too sure if that’s any bad foreshadowing, or if it’s because this ghost town isn’t used to my style, also, there’s only one L in my first name, not two,” Gwen quickly said before shaking the thought and continuing on her way to the Vision-Maximoff household.

She quickly pulled into a random driveway a few streets away to make sure she didn’t alert anyone in Wanda’s home. As she began getting closer to the the house, she hid behind a car that was parked on the street before quickly saying, “Man, it’s super convenient that Vision, Viv, Wiccan, and Speed are about to leave the house on a super important mission/family bonding activity while Wanda stays home to rest from a big Avengers mission the day before.” And just like magic, Vision, Viv, Wiccan, and Speed left the house and sped off with their respective modes of transportation in some random direction as Gwen turns to the reader and winks.

As Gwen quietly snuck up to the house, she peered through the window staring at Wanda as she sat on the couch in a meditative position while clearly watching TV while wearing a baggy, red t-shirt and tight jeans with a yellow belt.

Gwen narrowed her eyes at the scene unfolding in front of her. “Nope, nope, nope. This is NOT gonna fly,” she said, reaching up as if to grab the words describing her target. And with a flick of her wrist, she yanked them out of the story, “Let’s try this again,” she muttered to herself, pulling out a pencil, seemingly from thin air.

As Gwen quietly snuck up to the house, she peered through the window staring at Wanda as she was on all fours, reaching under the couch for something while wearing a baggy, red t-shirt and a yellow, red, and green thong.

“Hmm, maybe a little bit of…”

The thong was replaced with a slightly overly large pair of high cut purple granny panties covered in tiny Magneto helmets with a red waistband.

Gwen smiled, twirling the pencil before tossing it over her shoulder, “That’s much better,” she said with a satisfied nod.

As Gwen reached for the door, she noticed that Wanda conveniently forgot to lock the door after her family left for their little adventure. “I don’t like how you italicized that word, but I have bigger undies to pull, or however the saying goes. Man, this is easy, and I hope I’m saying all of this in my mind,” Gwen thought as she snuck into the house, behind the Witch and began reaching for Wanda’s exposed waistband, “Wait, can’t Wanda Maximoff read minds?”

Before Gwen could think another thought, her wrist was suddenly grabbed by Wanda, “I sure can, and a little word of advice from one reality warper to another, when you’re so close to someone using their powers, you tend to be able to feel it”. And in one quick motion, the red reality warper waved two of her fingers dismissively, not only destroying the power dampening handcuffs Gwenpool held in one hand, but also erasing her costume from the neck down, and changing her underwear to a matching light blue bra and granny panties set covered in tiny four-legged sharks. The act sent a shiver down her spine, not sure if it was from the sudden lack of clothing or that feeling of reality warping around you that Wanda mentioned earlier, but Gwen knew one thing, she had to get away.

“Okay, Plan B: run like heck!” she screamed as she turned and bolted down the hall, her face flushed from the cold air that now touched her exposed skin. But something was off, no matter how fast she ran, the hallway seemed to stretch on endlessly.

“Seriously? A magic hallway? Not fair!”

Suddenly, her foot seemed to catch onto something invisible, and with a sudden yelp, the white and pink Harley-Gwen tumbled forward, landing hard on the ground. “Ugh! I know that I’m a blonde in a situation straight out of a horror movie, but now’s not the time for me to be tripping over air, you stupid author!” she groaned, pushing herself onto all fours as she turned her head back, half expecting to see Wanda Maximoff laughing at her misfortune.

But what she saw honestly scared her even more, she saw nothing. Wanda was not chasing her, like she previously thought. “Where did she go?” thought Gwen before turning back to see the magical Maximoff standing right in front of her. Gwen tried to turn around and run on all fours, but was quickly grabbed by a pair of glowing red hands with the red glow slowly spreading down her panties.

Before the wedgie could start, Gwen thought that maybe she could simply skip to another chapter in the story, and skip the wedgie all together, but when nothing happened, she realized why that was. “Oh come on! A stand alone, one chapter story! And it’s the first story you’ve written in months? Do better!” she yelled at seemingly no one in particular, “you know I’m talking to you, ‘writer’. Oh, whatever. Go ahead Wandy, this story won’t end until someone gets a wedgie. So go ahead and hit me with your best shot”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about with all of this ‘story’ and ‘writer’ talk, but, if you insist,” spoke Wanda before gripping the waistband and yanking up as hard as she could. Gwen screamed and tried to stand up, but was quickly pushed back down by the older woman. Gwen began tearing up and screaming as her ass was penetrated and shredded by her panties. Wanda then began applying her full strength and yanked the waistband all the way up to the base of Gwen’s neck. The pain of the wedgie was becoming unbearable.

Using a bit of magic, Wanda was able to create a glowing red hand that straddled Gwen’s masked head and began to pull it back towards her waistband. “Come on, almost there!” Wanda grunted to herself, almost as a bit of encouragement. Gwen, hoping to end this wedgie filled torment a little bit sooner, began voluntarily to push her own head back, hoping that the sooner Wanda gave her an atomic, the sooner she could go home and ice her poor butt.

And as Gwen’s waistband began sliding over the top of her head, she heard some threads popping. Hope, reinvigorated the young mercenary at the thought of her underwear ripping off, providing some much needed relief, was quickly dashed as the underwear held firm as it locked onto her forehead and was even mended by The Scarlet Witch to keep her in the wedgie.

Bruised, battered, and broken—her butt, not the rest of her, the rest of her is relatively fine—Gwen collapsed to the floor in a pain induced heap as she began thinking of how as soon as she gets kicked out of Wanda’s house, she’s gonna get onto her motorcycle, and ride to the nearest Wedgie Clinic, when she heard something she wished she hadn’t.

“Okay, now the front”

Gwen didn’t even have the strength to fight back at this point, as she was dragged back up by two magic hands as Wanda reached over her shoulders and gripped the front of her waistband before yanking it up as quickly as possible. Gwen screams at the top of her lungs as she’s lifted to her toes by the front of her light blue granny panties. Gwen’s screams soon turned to bloody murder as her crotch was basically destroyed by the frontal wedgie and the quadrupedal sharks deformed from all the stretching, but even those screams were soon muffled by the fabric of her underwear as Wanda quickly got them over her head, attaching them to the back of her head, leaving her in a gift wrap wedgie before teleporting the blinded Gwen outside of her house. “And stay out!” The Queen of Chaos shouted before slamming the door shut on Gwen as she stumbled around before finally getting the front of her underwear off of her face.

“Well, that didn’t go as planned, but hey, that’s the fun of being me, am I right?” Gwen jokingly said before looking down and spotting her previously disposed pencil. “Oh, I forgot about you. Could've really used you a moment ago to take down Big Red back there… and I still can,”

“Ah, well, that takes care of that,” said Queen of Dorks as she dusted her hands before getting back on all fours to continue fishing underneath her couch for her magic book that she dropped behind there earlier in the day. But as soon as her hand grazed the book, she accidentally activated the spell that the book opened up to when it fell on the floor.

In a moment, two giant red hands, the size of Wanda's entire body, erupted from a magic circle, knocking the couch through a wall. It would seem that Wanda has accidentally summoned The Hands of Colera. These hands then grabbed as much of Wanda’s exposed waistband as they could and began stretching them to unimaginable lengths. Wrapping them around all sturdy objects in the house, making shapes out of them, and even wrapping them around its own fingers and puppeteering the poor witchy dork around, a trick it had learned from one of its friends of similar skin hue. It did all of this before eventually trapping her in the center of a web of her own stretched out panties.

With Wanda the Dork trapped and at its mercy, it began doing all sorts of other bullying tactics on her. Like summoning a blue portal in front of her head and shoving her face into the swirly dimension, coating its finger in a saliva like substance and shoving it through Wanda’s ears in a super wet willy, spanking her until her ass was brighter than the sun and other such things for the next 15 hours, which is how long it would take for her family to return home and for her son, Wiccan, to find a counterspell to unsummon The Hands of Colera. And deep down, Wanda knew, that she deserved all of this, because Polaris was the TRUE daughter of the great Magneto

“Man, that was super easy, I should have just done that from the beginning, lol. Now, to just remove this wedgie and give me all my stuff back…”

But the pencil did not write, because it was at this moment that Gwen notices that the back waistband was cursed by Wanda so it’s stuck on her head. A curse so powerful that not even Gwenpool’s significant reality warping abilities could easily undo. “Oh man. You better hope that the Wedgie Clinic has a sorcerer on hand to fix this, you hack-of-a-writer! Or else I’ll make my own story! Gwenpool kills the Marvel Wedgie-matic Universe™, and you better believe I’ll recreate the scene of Deadpool and the Marvel writers with YOU!” she jokingly said, “I’m serious and you know it! Dr. Strange and the second Night Nurse better be working there. Maybe they… could even date… like how they briefly did in the movies…” Gwen muttered to herself, no longer angry, just muttering while imagining 2 of her beloved Marvel characters hooking up.

The End

Desription

First step: Go to Polaris to get paid

Second step: Go to the closest Wedgie Clinic and blow paycheck to pay the co-pay and get magic wedgie and magic wedgie curse removed

Third step?: Invest in magical defenses and weapons for when Wanda Maximoff inevitably seeks revenge.

This may be a one off story, but who knows, maybe I'll return to this universe at a later point. Who wouldn't want to visit the Marvel Wedgie-matic Universe™ again?

And before anyone mentions it, yeah I know Gwenpool's powers might not work like what's described above. It's been a while since I've read a Gwenpool comic, so I'm not entirely sure if she's stated to be a reality warper, but if she isn't, well she is in my universe, dammit!