Armor Wedgie Wars

Armor Wedgie Wars

Gwenpool’s Armored Wedgie War

Note! This is my own version of the Marvel Universe. A bit of a mix of the MCU, where Riri is about 19 during the time of WF, and the comics, where she should be around the same age by now.

“Oh, hey School Dorks, or whatever stupid little parasocial nickname 2coolforschool calls his audience. It’s me, the... man, did he really try to have me introduce me with my editorial name, but he forgot, so he had to look that up? Talk about embarrassing. It’s the Unbelievable Gwenpool! And I was just about to get my next merc job from my newest client! Jan, you were saying?” Gwen says before turning forward in her seat to face Janet Van-Dyne, sitting across from her behind a large desk.

“... Maybe I should hire someone else for thi-” Janet begins, squinting at the white and pink Deadpool rip-off currently sitting in her office. A stark contrast from the brunette pixie cut woman in her gray and yellow business suit.

“Nonononono!” Gwen repeated as she stood up, leaning over the desk to grab Jannet’s hands, “I’m the PERFECT person for this job! PLEASE hire me for this! Also I’m not a Deadpool rip-off”

“I... didn’t say you were,” begins Janet as she pulls her hands free, “so do you think you’re up for the job?”

“Obviously I’m up for the job! They don’t call me the “Unbeatable Gwenpool” for nothing!”

“They don’t. That’s Squirrel Girl, and you do realize that your underwear’s been trailing behind you this entire time? Some of it’s still out in the hallways”

As Gwen looked behind herself, she did infact see that her light blue Dyne brand underwear streched on for miles. Across the room, out the door, down the hall, down all 27 floors via the elevator, and ending just outside the building they were currently in.

“Oh~ This~ Yeah, you should see the other guy. I rippped her a ne-” Gwen started before being cut off.

“I am already well aware of the true situation. Mrs. Watson-Parker is one of my models. Word spreads quickly in the fashion world. We all already know how you got mad at her after she cut in line at a coffee shop and tried to wedgie her, only for that to end with you being dragged through the city as Mrs. Watson-Parker used a web shooter to attach your underwear to a passing Helicarrier. All without you managing to get even a finger on her own panties,” Janet recalled, finally letting a smile creep onto her face.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! I do not like THAT!” Gwen cried out as she pulled out a pencil.

“Well, it’s the truth, Ms. Pool. Nothing we can do about the past”
“Maybe not fot YOU, but I’M built different!,” Gwen said as she began writing down on the document.

“We all already know how you got mad at her after she selfishly cut in line at a coffee shop and tried to wedgie her. That tall redhead woman, who thinks she’s so much better than everyone else because she married to a superhero, ended up being dragged through the city after you used the web shooter you skillfully managed to steal from her to attach her underwear to a passing Helicarrier. All without her managing to get even a finger on your panties. Totally awesome, Bee Tee Dubs,” Janet recalled, finally letting a smile creep onto her face.

“I know, you don’t have to tell me twice,” Gwen said as she holstered her pencil before picking the natural wedgie she developed from her unstreched underwear, “Aww really? Even when I don’t get wedgies, I still get them?”

“Anyways, while you may have skills, are you sure that you can take on this foe?” asked Janet.

“Yeah, I’m sure! But could you please remind me who’s panties I have to stretch and why, again?”

“I already told you, but sure. I want you to wedgie Riri Williams, also known as, Ironhe-” Janet began before being interrputed once again by her gun wielding guest.

“Riri Williams, yes. The MCU version who’s around 21-year-old. Gotcha, gotcha”

“Oh-okay? Well, I want you to wedgie Miss Williams,” Janet repeated herself, just to make sure the crazy woman in front of her didn’t suddenly forget her target, “Because I for one, am not a fan of her personality. She’s been growing arrogant for th past few years now. Becoming more and more like Tony Stark. I’d like to nip that in the bud fast. And that’s where you come in. Show her she’s not invincible,”

“Oh course she’s not Invincible, she’s not a half alien who’s father is a member of a colonizing alien race, I still haven’t started season 3 yet, so no spoilers please. But then again, her editorial name WAS the ‘Invincible Ironman’ for a time. None of that matters at the moment! You just know that I’m the right woman for the job!” Gwen declared as she held her thumb out.

“Not that I’m doubting you skills, but how will you be getting through her armor?” Janet asked.

“Oh, don’t worry about that. I have my ways,” Gwen said as an evil smirk grew across her face.

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“Please, please, please give me a suit of armor, Shuri! If I don’t wedgie Riri, then I won’t get paid! And if I don’t get paid, then Batroc will starve, and I don’t want to bury my favorite henchman!” Gwen cried, begging the princess of Wakanda in her lab, stuck in a hanging wedgie as one of the floating security drones picked her up by the back of her panties.

“Once again, Gwendolyn, I’m not going to help you wedgie my best friend, nor will I be making anything for you,” Shuri said as she set down a device she was working on, “Also, how did you get in my lab, much less this fucking country? Our border security is the best in the world”

“Some would say that Latveria’s security is better, especially with Doom putting a dome over everything,” Gwen slyly said.

“Drone 5M37, enter bounce mode for our little guest here,” Shuri instructed the drone to do. And as it began to comply, bouncing the pink mercenary by the increasingly growing back of her light blue panties, Gwen continued.

“Ah-and as for your que-quesstion, I just- I just simply j-jumped ahead to-to the text to when the ah-author’d be in the ‘Lab scene’”

“What?”

“D-don’t w-worry about it. S-s-so? Will you help me or n-not?” Gwen asked as it felt like another spear was shoved up her ass, or at least that’s what it felt to her porcelain pale behind.

“No... Unless...”

“W-what! I’ll do anything! Do you need a merc! I’ll do anything! Wait! Do you need anyone killed? Wedgied? I’m great at giving out wedgies!” Gwen began firing off as she finally forced herself out of the drone’s grip. Her waistband falling behind her, down her legs until they rested just a foot behind her on the ground.

“Why yes, I do need someone wedgied in fact,” The princess of Wakanda said as a devilish smile crept onto her face.

“Who is it?”

“It is you, of course. If you promise to come back after your mission, and let me test out some of my new wedgie machines on you for a full month, I will build a suit that will help you on this mission,” Shuri said.

“Lower that to 4-and-a-half weeks and we have a deal,” Gwen countered

“... .... .... What?” the princess asked.

“Not good enough for you? Fine. 4 weeks and 6 days, and I’ll even help you out of the wedgie you’re stuck in yourself”

“What the fuck are you talking about, you crazy woman? What wedgie?”

“Why, the one you’ve been stuck in this entire time,” Gwen said.

“O-oh! Y-you mean th-this one!” Shuri said, pointing up to the drone that has been hovering over her this entire time, bouncing her since she gave it the order to bounce her by her gray and purple stripped panties not too long ago, “Oh n-no. Don’t e-even w-worry about this. I-i am totally i-into this. B-but y-yeah. W-we have a deal. 4 w-w-weaks and s-s-six days!”

“Glad we could come to a deal, Shuri,” Gwen smirked as she reholstered her pencil, “But, even though you’re totally into this, I’m gonna let you out of this anyways, since I’m sure the author is tired of writing bouncing wedgie induced stutters, soooo”

“I... did not ask... for your help... but it is whatever...” Shuri struggled out, clearly needing to catch her breath from that wedgie session that she clearly enjoyed.

“Sooo, when do we start designing my armor?” Gwen asked, clearly excited to fly around in a suit of armor.

“We do not,” Shuri replied bluntly.

“Wh-what? But you promised!”
“I will make you a suit. But I am too busy to just design one right now. So we will just ‘borrow’ one of Tony’s old designs that my brother totally did not get from hacking Stark Industry databases, and we’ll make the actual armor from some spare nanobots I have,” Shuri said as she pulled out a small orb and plugged it into her computer.

“And this will help me get Riri out of her armor?” Gwen asked as she peeked over Shuri’s shoulder to watch what she was typing, clearly not understaning any of it.

“It should when the AI I am uploading into it too hacks into her suit, forcing it to disable the suit’s Fauld and Tasset platings, thus exposing her butt,” Shuri said as she unplugged the orb befor tossing it to Gwen.

“And once we disable her Tassets, we’ll be able to get to get to her ASSets lol, but before that, it’s time for an awesome suit up montage!”

[INSERT EPIC SUIT UP SEQUENCE HERE!]

“Ah, what? That’s how you’re describing my awesome transformation? And Shuri, why is the top and bottom of my suit seperated?” Gwen asked both me and Shuri as she pointed to the large gap in the older Ironman armor that wrapped around her waist.

“Well, first of all, how the fuck did you do that? Second, there wasn’t enough nanobots to cover all of you, and I wanted to give Riri a fighting chance,” Shuri said, that last part coming out as a whisper, almost inaudible, “and third, why are your clothes on the floor? Are you naked under there?”

“hehe, you said underwear”
“I did not, but whatever”

“But to answer you second question,”

“just going to ignore my first one?”
“Yep! Now, as I was saying, it’s simply because this is a wedgie story and the author clearly wants me to get wedgied at some point in this story, and it’d be pretty hard to do that if I had on a leotard underneath a full suit of armor, but clearly that wasn’t needed since there’s a clear gap near the underwear that I am wearing under here,” Gwen said as she gestured back to the gap in the armor, “now, if you’ll excuse me”

And with that, Gwen took a step back, disappearing from sight, leaving her discarded uniform behind.

“Okay, what the actual fu-”

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High above the skyline of Chicago, not too far away from Ironheart HQ, Ironheart, also known as Riri Williams, was beginning her descent, returning to her lab after her patrol.

“NATILIE, be sure to stay on the lookout for any oncomming attacks, not that there should ever be a time where you’re not looking out for attacks, but be extra sure now. Shuri just told me about how Gwenpool was hired to attack me,” Riri said to the aged up A.I. version of her dead best friend.

“I know. I was here the whole time you were on call with her,” NAT replied, “Oh, and by the way, that crazy chich is coming up fast on your six”

“Oh, come on, AI version of a dead girl! You messed up my sneak attack!” Gwen yelled as she rocketed down in a flying kick which Riri was barely able to dodge.

“Whoa! You got here fast!” Riri said as she dodged, “Shuri literally just called me!”

“Yeah, that’s what happens when you’re able to jump from one moment of a story to another!” Gwen grunted as she went in for a swing.

“I think you should probably ignore the crazy things she spews, don’tya think, girl?” NAT said.

“Way ahead of ya, NATILIE,” Riri replies as she redirects Gwen’s attack midair, spinning her around before diving her hand into the gap in Gwen’s armor.

“Ugh, not another wedg-EEEIIII!” Gwen squeeled as a small rocket poped out of Riri’s elbow, shooting her arm and Gwen’s panties up to the base of her skull at high speed as her middle thread struggled to keep up with it’s retreating waistband.

“Riri?” NAT asked

“Not now, NAT,” Riri responded as she started spinning as fast as she can, delivering a powerful Around-the-world wedgie. Each additional rotation adding another foot of stretch to Gwen’s ever growing panties. As Gwen reached her 37th rotation, she suddenly had a stroke of genius.

“I surrender!” Gwen shouted at the top of her lungs in the hope her voice would make it to Riri over the rushing wind of her personal merry-go-round.

“Ah! You don’t have to shout! Our suits microphones are connected,” Riri shouted back, pissed off, “Damn near bout blew out my eardrums!”

“Oh, sorry. But yeah, I surrender,” Gwen sheepishly repeated, relieved that she’s finally stopped spinning.

“Riri,” the artificial inteligence began again.

“Not now, NAT. Now, what were you saying about surrendering? Aren’t you trying to wedgie me for the money Vann-Dyne is offering you?” the armored hero asked.

“Well, yeah, but this is totally not wirth it. Too much pain for me. Your wedgies hurt worse than The Scarlet Witche’s”

“You didn’t actually think I’d fall for this, did you?” Riri asked, as she lifted up Gwenpool by her stretched out panties so they were face to face.

“You already did!” the merc beamed as she drove her hands towards Riri’s waist. As her hands gripped at the metal surrounding the armored hero’s hips, Gwen began twisting and turning her hands in an attempt to pry off the armored bits.

“You just never learn, do ya?” Riri laughed before diving her free hand into thr front of Gwen’s suit, gripping the front of her panties this time, before letting her drop as she let go of the back of her panties. As Gwen began to plummet, she started to scream and tear up. Not from the fear of the fall, but from the wicked rug burn she was developing in her ass crack and nether regions from the friction of the several feet of stretched out panties rushing down her crack and up her vagina. The plunge only lasted a couple of seconds before she was suddenly stopped by her reaching the end of the back of her panties. But that was not the end of her pain, because almost as soon as Gwen reached the bottom, Riri reactivated the rocket on her arm for a split second, lifting Gwen before she began to fall back into the seat of her light blue panties once again, giving her a rocket powered frontal wedgie. The rocket would then reengage, sending Genw up again before dropping her again, turning the rocket powered frontal wedgie into a rocket powered bouncing frontal wedgie. Each bounce felt like another spear was shoved into Gwen’s ass and sandpaper rubbed between her lower lips as her panties were being stretched again.

“Riri!” NAT shouted this time, desperate to get Riri’s attention.

“Oh my god, NATILIE! What do you want!” Riri snapped before she let go of Gwen’s panties in shock as the Fauld and Tasset platings of her suit detached and retracted into the rest of the suit, seperating the top and bottom of her suit and the repulsors on the bottom of her feet began to slowly turn off, gently lowing her to the ground just outside of her building.

“Her suit’s AI has been hacking into us for the last half hour”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner!”

“Girl, I tried! It’s not my fault you wouldn’t listen!”

Before Riri could continue her argument with her AI as they finally reached the ground, she froze as she felt ten cold, armored fingers reach into the back of her suit.

“You really should have listened to your buddy there,” Gwen said in a sing-songy voice before ripping Riri’s dark blue Osborn branded panties a giant gray Ironman faceplates on the back up her ass, “Wow, really? Osborn Iron Patriot panties?”

“Sh-shut up! They’re cheap and the closest thing to Ironman panties I could find!” Riri shot back.

“Heh, whatever Wedgie Williams,” Gwen laughed as she went for broke and began yanking up, sending Riri to her tiptoes. Gwen’s fists quickly reached her shoulders as she jerked and jumped in an attempt to demolish Riri’s panties and ass. Riri cried out as she grabbed her own ass in an attempt to try and lessen the pain. Pulling Riri over to the steps leading up to Ironheart HQ’s front door, Gwen took her place on the third step and left Riri on the sidewalk so she can have the height advantage. With her new height, Gwen began repeatedly hauling away at Riri’s not so stretchy panties like crazy! Ripping threads each time and forcing more screams to slip out of Riri’s mouth as she left the floor for the briefest of moments.

“Come on! None of the reader will get my earlier reference unless you have a pair of panties over your head!” Gwen grunted, punctuating each word with a yank, giving more bounces as her fists brushed up against the back of her skull. She then decided to jump down as she forced Ironheart into a headlock while she making her bend over so she could continue to yank on her underwear.

As Gwen’s knuckles dragged over Riri’s helmet, Riri tried to let out one last shriek, but the sound was overshadowed by a loud rip as the small holes in her panties grew too much before giving out entirely as Gwen pulled down, releasing the waistband onto where the bridge of Riri’s nose would be if she wasn’t still wearing her helmet.

As Riri tried to process what happened, she suddenly felt a hand on her back as she was pushed forward, her legs too tired and in too much pain to try and catch her, causing her to fall flat on her face, with her ass sticking up in the air.

“Riri, what are you doing, girl? Get up! Whoop that clown’s ass!” NATILIE cried, trying to get Riri up and going.

“Can’t,” Riri groaned, “Too much pain... and a bit of... pleasure”

“... TMI, girl, TMI”

“Well,” Gwen began as she dusted off her hands, “They might have ripped, but your panties are still over your head. I think that’s good enough for the reference. Oh, and before I forget!”

With that, Gwen pulled out her phone and took a selfie with the defeated hero, making sure Riri’s ass and the exposed top inch of her asscrack with the remains of her panties sticking out was in the frame.

“Now, I’m done,” Gwen said as she got up off the ground pressing send on her phone, sending the proof of the contract’s completion to Janet, “Now, I gotta get back to Shuri to get my clothes out of her lab, I also have to keep my promise, give her a wedgie for ratting me out to you, and convince her to let me keep this suit. Maybe not in that order.

“And I also have to fix this,” Gwen said she as pointed towards her stretched out panties, “Left my pencil back in the lab with my clothes, well, see ya, Wedgie Williams, he he”

With that, Gwen took a step to the side and disappeared into nothing, leaving Riri there on the sidewalk outside her own building as the only thing she could groan out in pain was:

“Oooooh, Fu-”

The End