Title: He Chooses Daughters over Traditions; A Lesson from My Father

In a world full of sorrow and discrimination, where we girls grow up, having a supportive father is not only a blessing but a miracle. I am one of those lucky daughters who could experience this miracle in her life. My father not only did not restrict me, but gave me wings to fly. I was raised in a Pashtun family in Afghanistan, and I have five elder sisters and one younger brother. In a society like Afghanistan, when a family has only daughters and no son, heavy looks and judgements always follow. People in my country believe that having a son is a kind of honor and a guarantee of the future for a family. When a father does not have a son many pressure him that he should remarry to have a son and continue his family name. Before my brother was born, my father experienced the same situation, he had 6 daughters and no son.  Many were saying that why he does not remarry and he does not want to have an elder son who would one day take care of him. Although my brother was born two years after me and I did not hear such things myself, my mother and sisters always told me about those times. My father, he never had such wrong thoughts, even though he had a very great and respected position in our city and was able to remarry, he never considered it. He never looked at us as less capable or less valuable than boys, instead he believed that we have the same ability and value that a son could have. Since my childhood, the only things I received from him were love, care, and endless support. In a society where some fathers restrict their daughter to stay at home or marry at an early age, my father always encouraged us to chase our dreams and pursue our education. That is why all four of my elder sisters have graduated from university, and I am studying in Pakistan with one of my sisters. He always wanted us to get what we truly deserve. He never told me you cannot do it because you are a girl, instead he gave me courage, love and support. He always believed in me and gave me the opportunities to reach my dreams. This view of my father, in a society that often sees women as less valuable than men was like a light for me. He is the one who proved to me that good men still exist.  Men who do not ignore their daughters, men who instead of remarrying and breaking the heart of their families, give value to the existing family.  My sisters and I were raised by such a man. 

When conditions in Afghanistan became too difficult for living and studying, he tried a lot to get me out of the country, so I will be able to live in a safer environment where I can learn, live peacefully, and freely reach my dreams. It was not an easy decision for him, because in our culture, it is a big issue when a young girl travels alone in another country but he never paid attention to such barriers. Finally, he brought me in Pakistan to continue my education. This sacrifice shows that he is not just my father; he is the hero of my life. When I look back to the path I have walked, I realize that it would have been impossible without him. Although I have always had the full support of my mother and my sisters, in Afghanistan, every decision for a daughter belongs to her father. If he had not supported me, I would also have been trapped between restrictions and silent walls, but he never wanted me or any of my sisters to be a prisoner of tradition. My father taught me that the value of a girl lies in her abilities, not in the view of others. He showed me that through action that respect for women is not just a slogan, but can be reflected in a man’s behavior, in his choices, and his fatherly love. His support gave me such power and confidence, that nothing can take them back from me. 

I wish all Afghan girls had a father like mine. I wish all fathers would give wings to their daughters to fly, rather than limiting them. Then maybe our world would become a better place, maybe being a girl will no longer feel so hard. With every step I take, with every decision I make, I know I am not alone. There is a man standing by my side who has built bridges for me, instead of barriers. He taught me that a father can be a friend as well.  For me, he is not just a father, but my whole world, he is the answer to all those who say that good men are rare. I say NO, good men still exist, those who remain loyal to their wives and give wings to their daughters to fly.

I wrote this piece about my own father, a man who proved to me that being a girl is not a shame or crime, but a pride. He showed me that having 6 daughters and only one son was never a lack for him, but a blessing. Today, I want to convey a message to all Afghan fathers: having a daughter is a pride. Your daughters are as valuable as your sons. They keep your name with honor and pride. If a father, like mine, believes in his daughter, that girl can even change the world. I hope the story of my life inspires Afghan fathers to love and support their daughters more. 

I hope for a day when all fathers believe in their daughters, support them, and never consider them as a burden or disgrace. I hope they understand that a daughter can build the future of her family, and even her country, shoulder to shoulder with a son and even sometimes more.