Let us begin. . . Shall we? AA / Angel's past is one to not be overlooked. . . one with many inter-lines and puzzling.
Hello, this time I am speaking from a First-Person Perspective. It is me, Angel. . . this time, I, myself am telling my own story. How this went, let me first start with. . .
When I was born, I was only 4.8 lbs. It is a surprise how I survived, (I survived through machines and miracles lol). But, anyway. . . as I got older, (Twas' around 3-5 months old) I got adopted!: The house is very pretty, a farmhouse. I was starving and cold when I got there. . . I don't remember much, but my parents did take care of me. Of course, they still do, I just feel this feeling of neglect; whenever they're away almost all of the time, no time for me. I did get spoiled a lot when I was a toddler, I stopped getting spoiled by the time I was 13 by my mother and father. It took me a while to adjust, but over time I overcame a lot of adversaries and hardships.
By the time I was almost 15 when COVID-19 hit us all, I had to be in lockdown for two years. It affected everyone each in their own or different ways. By the time I got out. . . I lost ALLLLL of my progress, my purpose, it felt like it was all GONE. When I went back to school. . . (I switched schools), my CLINICAL DEPRESSION, hit me like I NEVER saw it coming. Of course, it was obvious later down the line and now. The circumstances, I told myself in 2021 I HAD TO DO SOMETHING. OR ELSE I WOULDN'T CHANGE.
Twas' 2022 now, I FINALLY started self-improvement. . . I realized the amount of pain and procedures I needed to go on for me to accept my past, my present self, and the future. Then, to NEVER look forward at the past and to NEVER look back at the past. . . And. TO accept my insecurities, the darkest version of myself: I ain't talking no edgy bullcrap. I am talking about the version of yourself that can be seen through daily conversation; even when you least anticipate it. I am talking about Carl Jung's Shadow. Here is this if you do not understand: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-tools/201205/the-shadow?msockid=2b9f2151725d69153b69343873596806
I had to defeat myself, and rewire my brain. Because the truth of the matter was, I had NO FORM of self-control nor any way of processing the past. No matter how much work I did on myself, it kept backfiring on me. . . So I kept failing over again. I kept analyzing and analyzing, researching. When I realized; the use of knowledge is more of an importance than just overflowing your brain with knowledge that you CANNOT use. It is Rumination to extremes. At any rate, it took me about another three years of research, from (I.E: Mental Logging, Inner Monologue, Inner Dialogue, Mental Jotting, Mental Noting, Memory Palaces, etc). Even using memorization patterns, and many techniques from books I have read, and just genuine knowledge from my own experiences and hardships that have made me become this person
and now it is. . .