I was still mulling over packing my bags, but something kept pulling me back. It wasn't because Beau had done what he did. Mostly it was the money, I needed to not starve to death on the side of the road and this was the smartest way to go about it. As I woke up to sunlight piercing through Beau's window, and seeing a rumpled blanket in his place, I promised myself to be civil, keep my distance; don't rock the boat while I was close to drowning.
Beau had gone out early to get started on the cattle, Heather told me as I sipped coffee in the kitchen. Fine by me, even if I did feel a small twitch below remembering the night before. Easy now, don't think about that. I remembered his eyelashes fluttering and that sly smile as he gently stroked my thickness and was snapped back to reality as Heather patted me on the shoulder.
"You're in another world," she said as she poured herself a mug of coffee. "Tucker's got you on the barn today."
It was time to go to work then, it seemed. The fence-posts had been the start, and my goal for today was to replace all the rotten boards at the back of the barn. It felt good to have a project; it felt good to be sticking around somewhere for a little longer, if only for a short time. Thinking of when I had to leave wasn't something I particularly liked at this point but I knew eventually it would happen.
A week had passed with the same, comfortable routine of the Jacobsen ranch. I'd wake up, have breakfast with the family while Beau imagined I didn't exist, head out to the barn, and focus on the reconstruction. I'd rebuild it one wall at a time and remove the rotten wood, keep the stronger boards while planning to get the roof covered so I didn't have to end up in Beau's room again. Come dinner-time, I'd sit and discuss the repairs with Tucker and Heather.
Beau remained silent at meal times, as Tucker would tend to snap at him and put him in his place. I hadn't seen them talk to each other really. Tucker seemed more excited to sit and talk with me on the warm nights; he'd offer me a few beers and we'd shoot the shit about the barn, Montana, and my plans. It was nice, but it felt odd knowing what Beau and I had done, seeing him shoot me a fuck you stare and not in the good way was a normal occurrence at this point. I tried not to overthink it; even if a little part of me wanted to be able to sit and talk to Beau too some nights. Even if it meant just getting to know a little about him.
On a late, rainy Friday I was busy repairing the inner-beam of the barn when I heard somebody yelling outside.
"Tuck', where's Tuck'?" It was a voice I'd only heard once before, it was Jackie Earle--one of the ranch-hands that stayed out on the eastern fields near the sheep.
I jumped down the ladder and headed out as rain had begun to pour down. Jackie ran towards me. He was a muscular guy, with dark skin. Even I could tell he was sweating in this rain and his eyes were filled with worry.
"All good, Jack?"
"No, sir. The northern pen's all fucked. Somebody cut the wires and the cattle are scattered. Beau was supposed to herd em back. He's missin'. Fuck knows where Tucker is--"
"Jackie," yelled Tucker as he ran up from the dirt-road out of the ranch. "What are you doing here?"
"The northern pen's all fucked up. I've gotta go back to the east and herd in the horses and sheep."
"Jesus. I'll kill Beau. That was his job. Cole?"
"Yeah?"
"You know how to ride a horse?"
"In a straight line at least." I hadn't ridden in a year and felt the nervousness spread over me like the rain.
"Good enough, follow me. Jack--get back and get the horses inside the stables. You see Beau, you tell him to get home now."
Jackie waved us off as I ran behind Tucker to the stables down another dirt path. Inside the smalls was a row of six horses. Tucker pulled out the big brown one on the end and I snagged the line on a mare next door. Luckily these ones already were saddled up and I did my best to climb up. The mare was a little unstable with me but I managed to keep control without getting bucked off.
"You have rode before?" asked Tuck as his horse circled mine.
"Yeah. We owned two back east. I'm not super great on them but enough to keep from getting' bucked."
Tucker watched me for a moment then grunted. "You look like you can handle it well. Follow me. I'm gonna kill that kid when I find him."
And off we rode together, the sound of galloping hooves thudding against the rush of rain as I saw the stretch of Tucker's land.
"What if Beau's in trouble?" I asked, trying not to sound too worried.
"Whaddya mean?" yelled Tucker.
"Somebody cut the wires out on the northern fence. You got a lot of people who want you to lose those cattle out there? Might have jumped him first."
"I bet it was just Beau bein' a lazy good-for-nothin'. But we'll see when he shows up."
I felt a little worried that Tucker was dodging the question. The first person I thought of was Colt and the fact I'd replaced him. The second thing I thought of was what he'd yelled when he left. "No wonder nobody likes you." If that was the case I was clueless as to who was sabotaging the fences; at this point everybody was a suspect.
Tucker just seemed determined to get there as fast as possible. I followed in silence the rest of the way, and when we reached the northern field, we both saw the damage for ourselves. The fence was twisted and almost pulled apart, leaving a huge opening leading out to the northern river and plains. Beau was nowhere to be seen. On the other side of thetwisted fence was the black dimples of the herd, scattered around and moving towards the river.
"Jesus," I said.
"Help me herd them back, we'll move them into the second pen over by the other gate."
I'd never herded in my life but it seemed to consist of a lot of yelling and steering the cattle back from the river. Tucker focused on the main bulk of the cattle and I had managed to steer a few stragglers back. It took us about an hour and the rain hadn't let up at all. I was soaked to the bone; my t-shirt clung to me. I'd slicked my hair back and already knew I was going to catch a cold, definitely. By the time Tucker had led the majority of the herd into the eastern pens, I spied several more shapes over the river and realized it was Beau pulling back the cattle that had gone even further across the plains into the forest.
"Cole, there's another one down the way. Grab it while I deal with this little shit," said Tucker as he trotted past me.
I headed down in the opposite direction and found a lone cattle grazing next to a tree. I circled it and it took off back through the field. I took it all the way to the gate and it went through without any fuss. By the time I'd turned around, Tucker was off his horse and pointing his finger at Beau who raised his arms in defence. From this distance I could only see and not hear what was happening. I saw Tucker's arm swing across Beau's face and kicked the horse's sides like a reflex. It began to gallop. But as I got closer, Tucker was already on his horse and speeding towards me. Beau, nursing his face, splintered off with the several cattle trailing him.
Tucker rode to me and skidded mud as he slowed down. I pulled back on the reigns and tried to calm the horse and was still failing as Tucker controlled his with ease. His brown eyes had turned to pinpricks. The rage in his eyes seemed almost drug-induced.
"Thank you, Cole. You've been such a help. Let that little runt take the cattle back. Then take the rest of the day off. Let him deal with his mistake."
"Is Beau okay?" I asked as I watched him leading the cattle away.
He stared at me with a wry smile. He didn't speak, and slowly started trotting away. That was weird. I watched him gallop off and realized I was alone, in a field, with a horse. I could have gone back with Tucker, but something else pulled me towards Beau who was walking on the edge of the northern field's fence to circle around from me.
I trotted towards him as he led the cattle in and let them scatter. He turned to look at me, and then moved quicker across the fence, away from me. When I climbed down, his jog turned into a run. I tied up the horse, patted it gently, and then climbed over the small fence. I saw him slip into a gathering of trees but I imagined he wouldn't go far. When I reached the trees, the sound of the rain dulled. Further ahead I could hear high-pitched sobs, and followed them.
"Beau?"
I heard the sound of snapping twigs and lessening sobs in the distance. Through the forest of brown and green I saw flickers of denim dungarees and took off. He went left so I moved right and waited for him to see if he'd lost me. He finally slumped down under a large oak tree and covered his face in his knees. I snuck up behind from where he was and leaned on it.
"You can't lose me that easily," I said as I crossed my arms.
"Jus' leave me alone," he said as he wiped at his face.
"What happened?"
"Just my pa bein' my pa. Ain't your business so go back to ya barn," he sniffed and rubbed at his eyes tiredly.
"Let me see your face," I said as I knelt down and reached towards his cheek.
He slapped my hand away and then covered his face again. I pulled back and then sat down next to him. I could hear the soft sobs and watched as his shoulders shook. He was so feminine and it blurred the lines a lot to me. I thought about putting my hand on his shoulder but instead I just leaned back and listened to the distant rumbling of what I imagined would be another storm.
"Growing up, I was always terrified of thunderstorms," I said. "Sometimes I still am. When I was younger my father used to lock me outside whenever there were storms. He told me it was to 'build character' but I honestly figured he wanted me to get struck."
Beau looked up at me; his cheeks were flushed red, his eyes were filled with tears. He looked so soft, so hurt in those moments and it made me take a deeper breath.
"There were times where the lightning hit the ground so close I could smell the burning, and feeling the thud of it. I'd hide and pray it never hit me. It didn't, but the fear is sometimes there."
"Why would ya tell me that?" he asked as he looked at me with wide eyes.
I shrugged. "You said I was the strong, silent type. I can talk. And I'm not strong all the time. Talking is good sometimes."
"I don't wanna talk to ya."
"Did I do something wrong?"
"Just leave me alone."
"Okay, you're in a bad mood. No talking then. Maybe I can try something else," I said.
He looked at me as I stood up.
"Maybe I could repay that favour?"
"What did you have in mind?"
"Stand up. Unbutton them," I said as I pointed to his dungarees.
"You're an idiot," he said but immediately snapped and unpinned the buttons.
He slid the denim of his frame and I saw that he'd decided to only wear a t-shirt again. Below I could see he was shaved, everywhere, and honestly I shouldn't have been as surprised as I was. He was a lot smaller than me. I got closer to him and he looked up at me.
"Well?" he asked impatiently.
I knelt down and gently felt the softness of his balls, and the saw his small shaft twitch. I kissed it and looked up to see his lip crinkle; his cheeks flushing red. Ah. The tough guy act melted away quickly as he looked down and watched as I slid my tongue across his balls, and up towards his head. I pumped rhythmically, feeling him get harder in my mouth until finally he let out his first moan. It was enough to get me hard as I listened to the pitch of his gasp float on the wind. I ran my hand up his stomach and felt his breathing go deeper.
"I didn't think--"
I let him slide out of my mouth.
"Shut up, Beau."
He nodded and I saw the redness of his cheeks go darker as I slid back down on him. I looked up at him, and could feel that he was doing his best not to blow so quickly. His hands gripped at the bark of the tree, and my hands caressed his soft, hairless chest. I felt the softness of his nipples and gently pinched them as I took all of him in my mouth, letting my tongue slide between his balls that dangled over my chin.
"I'm gonna--"
Do it then.
His breath was ragged now; broken as I watched his legs buckle. I held him up with my arms and he forced out a moan which told me all I needed to know. The high-pitched yell that followed gave way to a warmth that spread into my mouth. I tasted his sweetness as he held onto my hair and swallowed everything he had to give. When he had nothing left to give I saw the glassy look in his eyes and he remained rooted as if he was part of the tree.
I stood up, wiped my mouth, and smiled at him as he struggled to pull up his dungarees. "Oh shit," he whispered as he tried his best to button up the left side. When he couldn't manage it I took his hand and gently slid the metal-frame over the button. He looked up at me with that same glassy look from before and scanned my face.
"I need to go," he whispered.
"Sure," I said with another smile. "This doesn't make us friends or anything."
I saw the corner of his mouth turn upwards in a sly grin, and then he stumbled away from me back through the trees. And then I realized I was now alone in a forest with a huge hard-on, and the taste of Beau on my tongue. Now I was horny and alone. Wonderful. I sighed to myself and made my way back to the horse as the rumble of thunder seemed to get closer. I kept replaying the taste, how he felt, and the smell of him against me. Somehow I needed to stop before I got back to the barn. I couldn't work like this."