Converting The Feminist Ch. 09

Disclaimer: This chapter of Converting the Feminist, does not include sexual scenes and is merely a capstone to the story.


I took my seat, a thick glass window separating us. It'd been four months since we saw each other. He looked miserable. His droopy eyed expression worried me a little. It was so strange to see him in that silly orange uniform. I picked up the phone to my left, he did the same.


"Hello, Caleb," I spoke.


"Hi, butterfly."


"You look terrible."


"You don't look so good yourself," Caleb countered.


"Yeah well it's been a rough six months."


"I'd say I wish it wasn't all bad; I'd be lying if I did though. You deserved better than me."


"You let me remember for one night, Caleb. One. Why didn't you stop me from calling you Blake?"


"Because, I was still that same scared teenage guy too chicken to ask you out," his gaze pulled away from mine, downcast with shame.


"We both changed so much." Blake stayed quiet. "I'm sorry, Caleb. I hurt you."


"And what did I do, butterfly? I treated you like shit and became exactly like that evil father of yours. I don't deserve your forgiveness."


"But you made a great stride to earning it."


"What I did five months ago, was out of spite. I'd fall on my sword again if I brought that piece of shit down with me. Saving you wasn't even something I'd considered until my first court day when I plead guilty to every charge they threw at me. And when they offered me a reduced sentence, seeing my remorse, I turned it down. I'm spending the rest of my life in here as recompense for that one month of hell I put you through. Now if that's all you came here to say, I'm going back to my cell, butterfly."


"I just wanted to ask you to forgive yourself one day, Caleb. Mistakes were made by both of us. I promise not to come visit you again if you promise me you'll try to forgive yourself one day."


Caleb said nothing more. He hung up the phone, clearly finished with the conversation. Despondent, I did the same. I had hoped so much that I could crack his shell open one more time but my attempts were futile. Turning to leave, Caleb paused. He faced me again, shining a glimpse of his smile.


I nodded and we parted ways. Once I made it outside of the maximum security prison, I found my ride waiting for me. Kylie wasn't at all pleased that I asked her to make this trip with me. She was respectful enough not to say a word the whole trip up here.


I slunk into the passenger seat and Kylie looked at me. There were obvious signs of concern in her eyes. She had the right to worry I guess. It had only been five months since I was returned my freedom after a terrifying experience, both with the personality Caleb chose to call Blake and my father's torture. Kylie placed her hand on my arm, a comforting gesture. I gave her a slight smile, the corners of my mouth curving upward.


"Got that closure you needed, Brit?" Kylie asked. I took a few long moments to answer.


"Yeah, I think I did. Let's go home."


Our one line conversation was the only words we spoke during the whole trip. I think Kylie understood that this was something I needed and supported me, at least I hoped that was the case. Kylie and I had a rough five months together. I told her outright that I couldn't ever be the girlfriend she wanted me to be. Kylie said it was fine so long as I didn't leave her ever again.


I took in a deep breath through my nose, catching Kylie's attention. I didn't mean to distract her. I just kept thinking about my life over the past half year. Everything I learned and experienced, every horror and monster I encountered, and somehow I managed to survive it all. Caleb sought to mold me into his ideal woman and I wonder if I intended at some point to make him my ideal husband.


Kylie dropped me off at my house. The sun was starting to set. I barely made it up the front steps before my mom and sister blitzed me. Their warm embraces soothed away any lingering pains. It was good to be home again. Emily held me a little tighter than mom did. She'd been like that since after everything happened. Knowing the full truth was probably the cause. We kept some secrets from our mom so we didn't completely destroy her. It was painful enough to tell her dad was the one who kidnapped me, everything else she didn't need to know.


"Have a good trip honey?" My mom asked.


"Yeah, I think I did."


"We were really worried about you," Emily chimed in, "Is... Is Caleb getting out?"


"Emily!" My mom shouted, aghast at the very mention of his name.


"It's fine, mom. I don't know, Emily. But I got my closure. I just hope he finds his in time." I pulled away from the tight embrace, Emily was still determined to maintain. "Is Zack here?"


"He's inside," my mom said with a nod to the door. "He hasn't said a word since you left. I don't think he was thrilled to find out you went to see Caleb."


"Thanks mom. I'll talk to him."


I walked past them both. There was a lack of footsteps following. I suppose they wanted to give Zack and I some space for this next part. I didn't have the courage to tell Zack where I was going. If I did, he would have lost his shit. Instead I left a note, figuring asking for forgiveness instead of permission would be a lot easier.


Pushing through the door, I walked into the living room. The place was still as messy as I figured. Mom's new husband and her managed to give us a lovely baby boy. He was quite the monster himself. Loved making messes, giving mom a hard time and such. But I wasn't here for Kyle, my new baby brother, I was here for Zack, my relatively new boyfriend.


Zack was sitting peacefully on one of the love seat couches, his broad shoulders rose and fell lightly. He combed his blonde hair in a slick back style, and wore a grey shirt, which I assumed was a button down; he always wore button downs.


His back to me, preventing me from seeing his facial expression. I leaned against a wall near the entrance to the room and just watched him. I wondered if he could sense me, tell that I was here watching him. I felt ridiculous not having the courage to face him right away.


"Hey," I say meekly.


Zack spins around, revealing the reddened pearly eyes of his. The green irises swallowed me up, as I stood there motionless. "You're back," he commented as if he was talking to himself and me at the same time.


"Yeah. I guess I am."


"Get whatcha needed?" Zack asked.


"I did."


"And you're okay, right?"


"I am."


With no further interest in talking, Zack vaulted over the couch and ran to me. He pulled me into a passionate kiss, all his frustration and pain seeping into me. I used the wall to support me as Zack expelled his pent up passion. He pulled away slow, steadying himself with me and the wall to gain his balance.


"I take it you missed me," I said between deep breaths.


"You have no idea," Zack replied chuckling. The laugh was infectious, pulling a giggle from me.


"Wanna go out for dinner? Just us?" I ask timidly.


"I'd love to, Brittany."


He gave a quick peck on the lips, leaving me wanting more; I wouldn't give my body more as the scars still lingered. Zack and I started dating a few weeks ago. I wanted to keep it slow and he's been very patient with me. It was still an adjustment to be with someone other than Caleb. Zack promised to give me all the time in the world if I needed it.


There were still thoughts nagging me in the back of my mind that Zack could very well be a monster in disguise. I desperately tried to bury those thoughts, holding them in until my next therapy session. After which I was allowed to talk to him about my fears. Zack went to great lengths to earn my trust, starting with giving me his phone. I browsed through it and found nothing suspicious, although I thought it was a bit over the top. I wasn't that paranoid I don't think.


Figuring it was a good time to get ready for dinner, I took my leave heading up to my old room. The moment I got in my room, I noticed a card laying atop a small box. I snatched up the card and opened it for the message.


"One last reward for my butterfly. This is the last time I'll send you anything. Live a good life and, whoever you find, will never completely deserve you. All I ever wanted was you and I lost my way because of it. The least I can do is give you one good thing that I never let go since the day you left. Goodbye, Butterfly.



Sincerely,


Caleb"


I read the message again and again. Choking back tears, I laid down the card and picked up the box. Opening it up, I almost fell apart. In the box, laying on a cushy velvet bed, was a necklace Caleb made for me when we were ten. A simple string with a butterfly charm, carved into the wings was the first letter of Caleb's and my first name. I clutched the necklace close to my heart. I thought the prison visit was the closure I needed, but this necklace, and its tiny trinket, were the real closure.


~~~


To my readers, and to all the friends who supported me along the way. I want to sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart for sticking this story out with me. I know this story wasn't exactly the best work I've done, or the comfiest topic, but I needed to finish this for my peace of mind. I wish that I can make it up to all the people who were offended by this piece of fiction but I won't make that promise. Special thanks to Arec, a literotica editor, who stomached this story and helped me edit it. You're amazing and I hope to work with you in the future. Lastly, I want to thank you, the reader, for reading this tale.


xoxo


Princess Valky,