Uncle Jason Lives with Us, Conclusion
"What a Long Strange Trip it's Been"
The Grateful Dead
TWENTY THREE YEARS LATER (after the end of Part III)
JOHN
I was leaning back in my home office idly spinning around in my office chair lost in thought. I was contemplating all the twists and turns my life has taken over the years. There were so many low points it was hard to remember them. I'm finally happy, well maybe not happy, but content and at peace with my life. As I've aged I find myself analyzing everything I did and didn't do, wondering if it was the right thing, how I could have or should have done it differently. I am more sure of things now than I was over twenty years ago but still don't have a final resolution. As I am no longer working full time I have more time to pondering my actions. I'm not sure that is a good thing. I'm glad I have my family, well most of it anyway, around me to help me through the difficult periods which are fewer and much farther between.
Gina was right. Jason didn't go anywhere (for a while anyway), but then again neither did I, right up to the day our ten year agreement expired.
Why did I stay? I like to tell myself it was because I was a noble man and really wanted to stay with my daughters and be a fulltime dad. But the truth is that after a few years the girls were growing up and they needed me less. In fact after both June and Sabrina had passed the age of fourteen Ansel told me that in our state children of that age could choose which parent they wanted to live with in a divorce scenario. The court was loathe to split up children, so if I thought the two older girls would choose to live with me, Mary would most likely be awarded to me. I can't say I wasn't attracted to the idea, but as much as I would have loved to take her kids away from her as payback I couldn't do it.
Don't misunderstand, as much as I hated to admit it. Gina had been a good mom to all three. It's just that I had made good on my promise to myself that I was going to be the best dad any kid ever had. All three of my ladies were definitely Daddy's girls and my confidence level was very high that they would choose to live with me. I was sure, actually almost 100% sure they would want to stay with me.
So why hang around? It sure wasn't for the sex. I quit having sex with her less than a year into the agreement. I didn't really quit as much as I just couldn't bring myself to do it any longer. Gina didn't bat an eyelash, she just went to Jason's room more often. Her only comment was. "Oh well, your loss." She did continue to shower me with affection and I knew she was still secure in her belief that I would never leave her.
It was really strange. She rarely ever even mentioned having sex with me again, however she behaved like a perfect wife in private and public. Once I was really sick with the flu and she took a whole week off of work to be with me and nurse me back to health. I never could understand any of it.
Maybe I stayed to because I wanted to prove that I was morally superior to Gina but even that wouldn't be true. I don't know, maybe you could call it spite or revenge I guess, but in any case the real reason I stayed was to stick it to Gina. I know that wasn't a better part of my character, but as time went by my main motivation was greed. I didn't view it that way at the time of course. But over the ensuing years I came to accept that fact.
You see, as time went by I was being groomed at work to take over as president of our company's west coast operations. I had taken my boss, the CEO into my confidence about my situation. We had worked together for years and I considered him a friend and trusted him unconditionally. Together we had tentatively worked out the timing of my promotion to coincide with my divorce being finalized.
The only commitment I had to make to him was to stay in the new position until age 75, the last five years to be in more of a consulting roll to my planned successor to insure the company's investment was returned on the venture. Even though I hadn't planned on working to that age I was happy to do it.
The salary and benefits would be fantastic. I also knew that our house would be paid off and worth over a million dollars by the time the ten years was up. In addition I was getting very good returns on a number of investments so I was quite confidant that at the end of the agreement our net worth would be in excess of 3.5 million dollars and that is after having set up ample college funds for all three of the children.
I couldn't wait to write Gina a sixty thousand dollar check, tell her to go fuck herself, and then laugh all the way to the west coast after having done so. I did just that, but I didn't laugh all the way there. I thought a lot about the honor and decency in what I was doing. I didn't come away with a good feeling after some lengthy self examination. So in the end I might have won but at what cost?
And another thing once all three girls were over eighteen I had no intention of letting things go. You see, I had kept all of my records and recordings of Gina's threats and I fully intended to sit the three of them down and inform them of exactly what happened.
I did go through several stages of separation anxiety from Gina. Maybe it was something similar to the five stages of grief everyone always talks about? Early on in the nightmare I actually still had some love for her and wanted to find a way that we could stay married and keep our family intact. I guess that was like the denial phase. I quickly moved into the anger phase and then tried to find a way to bargain my way out of it. I also experienced depression and a form of acceptance.
But it didn't end there. My 'acceptance' was short lived and it morphed into a smoldering deep anger and obsession for vengeance. Not surprisingly, it also started to affect my health as my blood pressure was through the roof. I also had a serious Atrial Fibrillation episode caused by my blood pressure that landed me in the hospital. All the medico's called it Afib and believe me that was a scary incident and I knew I had to do something.
That's where I ran into Ellery again. She was the one who helped me through that deep dark period. She facilitated my eventual recovery by redirecting my need for retribution to the financial aspects of my agreement with Gina and ultimately what type of relationship with my daughters I wanted to have.
Ellery? Yes, a few years into my hell I actually had to seek professional counseling to try and cope with my situation. The counselor was very thoughtful and skilled in her line of work I suppose. However I got the impression that Dr. Bridgeport was trying her best to convince me that my wife really did love me and was going to grow tired of Jason sooner or later and come back to me. Her position was that saving a marriage at all costs was the best course of action.
But as time went on I became more and more convinced that Gina had a split personality disorder. I brought it up once to doctor Bridgeport and expressed the reasons why I felt that way. After asking me a series of questions the good doctor told me I was mistaken.
A person with a clinical diagnosis has memory gaps because they have at least two distinct individual personalities and the two never mix, creating gaps in their memory about what they did in their other persona.
This wasn't the case with Gina. She remembered everything. According to the doctor Gina was just extremely adept at compartmentalizing her world. This was part of the reason the therapist told me to just be patient and she would get over it. Hell it seemed to me that half the time Dr. Bridgeport wished she was leading Gina's life! She even told me that there was no reason I shouldn't be having sex with my wife. Seriously, she said that.
The funny thing is that in her own perverse way I'm sure Gina did love me. By that point though I was done with Gina and the doctor!
Ellery and her husband Grant became good friends and still are to this day. Ellery never hid our conversations from her husband and in fact the three of us often went to dinner together. It was at one of these dinners that I learned that Grant had lost his job as a graphic designer and they were both very uncertain about their future.
I was able to get Grant a job at my work. It wasn't that hard as I was almost the head honcho by then. When I was promoted to President of West Coast Operations I wanted Grant to be my director of the design group. He and Ellery talked it over and made the move to the west coast with me. He is still with the company and I've grown to depend on him tremendously.
It wasn't hard for Ellery to find a job. Good RN's are in short supply and can pick and choose where, and how much they want to work. In an interesting twist, she is now only working one or two shifts a week. That's because she has another job. She writes scripts for a well known adult video company in the San Fernando Valley that specializes in porn for women with and emphasis on strong female characters. She makes really good money doing it too. She doesn't really need the RN job, but she enjoys the work and she likes to tell me with a twinkle in her eye, that every now and then she picks up a nugget of information that makes a really good story line for her script writing.
I also tried to pursue having Gina committed because it had become obvious to me as well as Jason and the girls that something wasn't right. To our daughters Gina was very concerned about their well being and lives but seemed overly excitable and solicitous of their every need. As I mentioned earlier Jason and I were convinced she had a split personality, even if Dr. Bridgeport wasn't.
Gina was so was detached from reality it was hard to fathom. During the day, she truly treated Jason as if he was her nephew, but at night she would have extremely animalistic sex that left him physically and emotional spent. He said that she would use language that he didn't even hear at the truck stop! He wanted to tell me more about the mild BDSM aspects of their association but I told him I would get my gun and shoot his dick off if he said one more word. Gina never once confused the two during the day, after all she was very good at compartmentalizing her life wasn't she?
Every month when I approached Gina to tell her how much her actions were hurting me and ask her to stop, she would get very emotional, begin sobbing, and ask why I still couldn't understand the deep love for me she had? No sane person could be like that.
Unfortunately as Ansel pointed out to me when I approached him with the possibility, that in our state you could only have a person committed involuntarily for a welfare exam, that's a euphemism for psych screening. Under certain criteria of course; One, if they posed a credible danger to themselves, including the inability to care for themselves, or two they were a threat to commit bodily harm against others, that was it. He mentioned that most people living on the street didn't even fall into that category either.
Gina of course saw nothing wrong with her actions and even reached the stage where she complained that I was the one with the mental illness because I couldn't understand her love for me, her physical needs, and good intentions for all concerned.
Gina could obviously take care of herself. She always dressed impeccably and was a respected member of the community. She had been promoted to a school principal and later an assistant superintendent's position. According to Ansel her verbal threats against me weren't sufficient to meet the standard. I knew she would never be capable of hurting anyone if you don't count ripping my heart out with her ultimatum. Ansel said that didn't count either.
Of course Jason never told me about her threats against him until long after he had left our house. That could have helped I suppose, but he didn't have any recording of it.
Ansel never seemed to have any good information for me. However at the end of the ten year period his presentation and justification for the post-nup was instrumental in it being upheld. In a shocking turn of events, the judge not only upheld the agreement she actually ordered Gina to pay me a nominal amount of alimony, or spousal maintenance I think Ansel called it. It was only $50 dollars a month, but it was a symbolic gesture on her part because her honor was stunned and sickened by what Gina had done.
I don't think the judge was overly impressed with me either though. During the proceedings she kept looking at me with a very dour expression and would periodically shake her head in disbelief.
Gina just sat there seemingly detached from what had occurred. I was sure she would have a meltdown and tell me of her undying love and devotion for me. But nope, she sat there stoically. I haven't spoken but three words to her since that day as we were leaving the courthouse. I think they were, "Leave me alone."
She was supposed to pay the support for ten years but she stopped after a few. What did I care by the point? I did get one small satisfaction from it though. Every month after getting her check I would take myself out to dinner and a drink on her dime. I would raise my glass of scotch in toast to her then look around embarrassed to see if anyone observed me doing it.
What happened to Ansel? He left our little town shortly after my case was adjudicated. Some say he married his long time assistant only to discover her cheating a couple of years later. After that he disappeared. Several years later I noticed some beautiful black and white photographs for sale in an art gallery in California. They were beautiful images of the American West by an individual of the same name. I never found out if it was my ex-attorney.
Life just went on in what was our new normal. It's amazing what one could consider normal. The years started to roll by. I became more focused on my work and raising the girls. I basically tried to ignore Jason and put on a good face for Gina. At the time I didn't think the girls ever had a clue. It turned out that wasn't the case.
I got a real shock when June turned eighteen and was heading off to college. She asked to speak to me alone the night before we were going to drive her to school and help her get settled into her dorm. I wasn't prepared for what she said to me. When we had privacy she came right at me, with no preamble or equivocation.
"Dad, I know Jason isn't our uncle."
"Well of course not honey, not by birth...."
"Please don't do that Dad, just don't. I've seen them together and I want the real story so just cut the crap."
"I don't really know what to say June."
"How about the truth for a change?"
"Ok I...wait what do you mean you've seen them?"
"I haven't actually seen them having sex, but several times I have seen Mom go into Jason's room at night and come out a couple of hours later looking, well looking like, you know. And then there was the family vacation we took last year.
"It was the one that Mary insisted Jason come with us on. One morning when we were all sitting around the pool being pretty bored, you called us girls together and said that we had been ignoring you so you were going to punish us by making us go to the water park, then the zoo, and finally to get some pizza. Well were all very excited and rushed to get ready. Mom said she was thankful and looking forward to some rest. Jason declined Mary's invitation to come with us."
"Yes I remember. And I remember giving Jason a death stare, daring him to say yes."
I didn't share it with June, but I really wanted to spend some time with my girls and almost hoped that Gina and Jason would get together so I could spend more time with my young ladies. It worked too because the next day we were all supposed to spend the day at the beach but Gina and Jason were too 'tired' to come with us.
"Well anyway as we were loading into the car I had forgotten my wallet so I ran back to our room. I saw Mom going into Jason's room and she was kissing him on the mouth. It was nothing like a normal aunt nephew thing.
"That tripped it for me. I knew what was happening, but I wasn't sure why, so not wanting to cause a family scene I just let it go and vowed to confront you with it at the appropriate time. Today was the time."
Damn when did she grow up? "Ok sweetheart, the truth." And I told her everything. I didn't hold back at all. I also told her why I did it. I couldn't quite decipher the look on her face. It certainly wasn't shock or even surprise. I thought she just had figured that Gina was cheating on me until I explained it. Maybe it was a cross between anger and pity. Truthfully I think she was embarrassed for me. "June, just answer me a question, up until thirty seconds ago, what kind of dad did you feel I was?"
She was starting to choke up. "You were a great dad. The absolute best."
"And now?" You could hear crickets chirping outside in the late summer evening. She didn't answer, but started to walk away. "I'm the same dad I was then as I am now." I said to her back. "June, please don't judge me too harshly until you've had some time to absorb it." She just nodded her head.
Before she left the room, she sighed and turned back to me. "Sabrina knows something is up. She has questioned me about it, but I told her she was crazy. Mary is in love with Jason, well who can blame her after what he did for her. She tells Sabrina and me that she will marry him someday."
And then I saw the light bulb go on in her head. "Oh my god!"
I think she understood why, even if she didn't agree with what I did. "June please don't say anything to your sisters. My plan was that when Mary turns eighteen I would sit the three of you down and explain. I will show all three of you the evidence I collected; just in case you think I am lying or exaggerating. And somehow I swear to god that I will make Jason face you guys and explain his actions."
"Dad your story is too fantastic to not be true. No one could make that up. I'll keep it to myself for your benefit. I know I should probably hate Mom, but I can't. Whatever else she is, she was always good mom to us. Hopefully I can control my emotions when I'm around her."
"Thank you sweetheart. It won't be forever, just another four years." Yeah it didn't sound that encouraging to me either. "I'm sorry for everything honey."
"Dad, you can't tell Mary, it will kill her."
I already knew that. What could I say? I just nodded and told her that hopefully when Mary is eighteen the circumstances will have changed.
JUNE
Maybe I should have been more forceful with my dad about not telling Mary about what Jason really was. He was her hero and she was genuinely in love with him. Of course she was only fourteen years old, and like boys, a girl's hormones are starting to go crazy at that age. I was worried that she wouldn't be able to handle knowing the truth. I also reminded myself to tell Sabrina, without giving anything away, not to even share her concerns with Mary.
I really don't know how to feel about what I had just learned. My mother, if not a little frenetic to the point of being annoying at times, was a really good mom. I loved her, but just couldn't fathom someone doing that to her husband. And, she really did it to her whole family not just Dad.
I also had trouble comprehending how my dad would allow that to go on, but after Jason saved Mary's life, I don't know if I would have done it differently.
I was grateful to be going away for school as I would have a lot of trouble acting normal around Mom. I can't see my relationship with parents ever fully being the same.r"