I do not come here today
To sit and languish in dismay
I simply wish to ponder and think
Of what it’s like to be on the brink
On the line of white and black
And to say I’m light is just a fact
My mother is white, both grandmothers too
So what does that mean for me and you?
Shall I bleach myself completely clean
Let my blackness go unseen
But how could I, when you said
I was black, from toe to head
But would that really be right
When the world around me is so white
Can I claim myself to be
Just like you, and you like me?
And if I’m black, just like you
Can I not be white then, too?
How does one draw that line
Can the border be so fine?
Can I not be both white and black?
Am I limited to one side of the track?
Why must I choose a side?
Is there truly such a strong divide?
Perhaps there is another way
Perhaps we agree I’m simply grey
I have no idea how I’ll change the world
I do want to, I swear I do
But let's keep that between me and you
I know the world is cruel and strange
I know things aren’t easy to change
People know, and I agree
About how bad the world can be
And if the stories whispered are to be believed
I won’t be so easily deceived
People speak, and I will listen
Even if I believe they unfairly christen
That the world is rotten, they speak of it’s inevitable demise
Is such cynicism truly so wise?
Would optimism be so naive?
Am I not allowed a small reprieve?
If I think only of the bad
I will surely not be as glad
As when I imagine the world to be
As prone to optimism as me
Ignorance is bliss,
On this we all agree
But it is still surprising how ignorant you try to be
We talk and laugh and have a ball, we haven’t got a care
It is surprising how we can act like he was never there
How did we learn, I fear to ask, to pretend it all was fine?
It is this careful quietness I think we should malign
Do not stop on my account, despite these tears I weep
The only time I cry them now is in my somber sleep
I wish to start, but how can I, when I fear this moment break
It is not this fragile happiness that I wish to take
I hope this time you start the talk
That you do not shy away or balk
We speak of memories and happy times,
But we never speak of his demise
We speak and speak, but in the end we never really share
The unspoken heaviness that hangs in empty air
I think we deserve, or at the very least, I do want to pursue
To be sad and missing him, along with all of you