One Anothering

Jesus describes the life of his people as one marked by committed love and service for one another. All throughout the Bible, followers of Jesus are encouraged to love one another through acts of kindness, service, compassion, and respect. As comGroup Leaders, our desire is to see this practice of One Anothering become a reflexive habit in the life we share together. One Anothering can be difficult and messy, and it takes time and discipline to grow in this practice. Here are some things to reflect on and put into practice as we seek to cultivate One Anothering in our comGroups.


KNOWING IS THE FIRST STEP TO ONE ANOTHERING

Vulnerability is a major factor in One Anothering. As people become more willing to share their needs, others have the opportunity to step up and help. This vulnerability comes as we invest time in getting to know one another and develop safe, trusted relationships. As leaders, our first step should be getting to know the people in our comGroups on a deeper level. Take members out for coffee or invite them over for dinner. Spend some quality one on one time with the members of your group in order to know and be known by them. Modeling this for your comGroup members will encourage them to follow your lead, and set the stage for One Anothering in your group.


EAT TOGETHER

There may be no better way to get to know somebody than over a meal. There is something welcoming, disarming, and very Christlike about having a good conversation over food. Consider gathering for dinner as part of your weekly comGroup structure. A monthly potluck is another great way to experience the benefits of a shared meal. Eating together helps to cultivate a sense of family among your comGroup, and it provides a great opportunity to get to know one another on a deeper level.


GET TOGETHER OUTSIDE YOUR MEETING NIGHT

Planning time to get together outside of your weekly meeting can help to form deeper relationships among your comGroup. Birthdays, Super Bowls, and Holidays are great opportunities to spend time with one another outside of your normal rhythm. This can help us get to know the parts of someone that may not come up in a Bible Study discussion. If you're not the event planning type, designate someone in your group as the official social event coordinator. Let them take ownership and plan get-togethers for your comGroup.


NOT EVERYONE HAS TO COME TO EVERYTHING

Now we arrive at a source of tension: How do we get every single person in our comGroup to attend every social event we put together? The short answer: we don't. If your comGroup is like most, it's made up of a mix of people. Some are retired, some are single, some are married with kids running all over the place. It's okay to plan a get-together even if everyone can't make it. As leaders, we should make sure everyone in our group is connected and cared for, but not everyone has to come to everything.


PUTTING YOUR TEXTING SKILLS TO USE

For all the distraction and trouble our phones can cause us, it's nice to redeem them every once in a while. Take some time out of your week to send out an encouraging text to the members of your group. Check in with them throughout the week to see how they're doing, follow up on prayer requests, or ask if there is any help or service that you can offer this week. Reach out to specific members to ask them to check in or touch base with another member of your group. This is a quick and simple ingredient to a big ol' pot of One Anothering stew.


SPLIT UP TO PRAY (SOMETIMES)

Consider splitting up into men and women every once in a while during your prayer time. You might do this weekly, monthly, or spontaneously as you feel a need for it. Test it out and gauge what feels right for your comGroup. Splitting up may offer a safe space to be vulnerable with needs, fears, or prayer requests we might not feel comfortable sharing in a larger group.


SET TIME ASIDE TO SHARE NEEDS WITH ONE ANOTHER

Being vulnerable takes practice. It can be incredibly difficult to be honest about our needs and explicitly request help. Be consistent in setting aside time to ask if there are any specific needs in your group. Use the One Anothering section in the Q's & Cues as a reminder or prompt. It may take time for members of your group to feel comfortable sharing their needs, but it is worth it. We may find that we have been sitting next to someone for months or years with no idea of the needs they have been struggling with privately. Give people permission to be vulnerable and model it as a leader.

MEMORIZE A FEW OF THE ONE ANOTHERS

The Bible is full of One Anothers. A great way to cultivate this practice in our lives is to get them deep into our hearts through memorization. Choose a couple One Anothers to memorize and meditate on as a comGroup. As you commit them to memory, commit to living them out in your life together. Here's a few to start with:


DEFINE THE RELATIONSHIP

It's easy to forget why we do the things we do. comGroups that are together for years can sometimes drift from their original purpose for gathering together. Sharing life together and practicing One Anothering can sometimes fade off of our radar. Studying the Bible is good, but Bible Study is not the sole purpose of our gathering together. Set time aside to recall the purpose of your comGroup, make sure everyone is on the same page, and course-correct where you have deviated from your purpose. Determine how often this is needed, perhaps yearly or quarterly. Ask your comGroup:

  • What was your expectation when you joined this comGroup?
  • How have those expectations played out?
  • What is the purpose of our comGroup?
  • What goals do we have for our comGroup?

EASY WAYS TO PRACTICE ONE ANOTHERING

  • Put together a meal train when someone in your group brings life into the world.
  • Visit members of your group who are sick or in the hospital.
  • Be available to help members of your group who are moving. There's usually pizza involved.
  • Offer to babysit for parents in your group who need a night out.