Oddly Specific Comments on Oscars Fashion

We are starting off with the men. First things first the aforementioned Austin Butler. 

C: What can I say? He really let me down. The man plays ELVIS and then shows up in a boring tux. 

H: There is no leather, there are no rhinestones, there is no lace. Were high heels the best bit of fashion advice he got from Elvis?

C: The man talks about how much the role impacted him but I am not seeing it in the way I want. 

J: It is his first Oscars he’s just trying to be classy! He doesn’t want to regret it later.

Up next, the rock.

H: I want to know more about his skin regimen. He just always looks like he glows.

C: I have strong thoughts about this outfit. First, if Austin Butler wore it, it would have been a service to him and Dwayne Johnson.

H: I mean I like the pink for his skin tone. But I just don’t think he is who I wanted to see in ballet pink. Something is just off. I… appreciate the effort. 

H: Ok I figured out why it bothered me. It reminds me of the tooth fairy movie he was in. No one should have to remember that movie.

C: Careful there. I won’t stand for slander against my childhood.

H: I’m not pro-flared pants on men. But it isn’t just that his hair is from the 90s, his jacket is from the 50s, and the pants and tie are from the 70s; the man needs to pick a decade. What would you do if your prom date showed up like that?

C: Well I would need one first. But yeah he would be changing if he showed up like that.

H: I know I said men shouldn’t wear flare pants but Lenny Kravitz is an exception.

C: Understandable

H: Lenny Kravitz has a thing, he found it and no one is telling him to stop.

C: I certainly won’t

H: Yes. Just yes. I would wear this.

H: Just another note. She could pull off Lenny Kravitz’s look.

C: She is just so classy. Not frumpy. Classy. The color looks amazing on her and the shape is elegant but not boring.

H: I have no idea who this is but I love her dress.

C: Mom, that’s Cara Delevigne.

H: And I know her how?

C: Only Murders, mom.

H: Oh right. Well her dress 

is still pretty.

C: The color is just amazing. She is bringing back the red carpet.

H: Just perfect. But I want to give her a sandwich she looks hungry.

C: She did the simple style perfectly. I wish John (Krasinky) was there.

J: He’s holding her purse. This is her moment

H: Yeah he would just be a distraction

C: I appreciate the fun earring with the simple dress.

H: She could hide so many sandwiches in there for Emily.

C: I normally love her outfits but as soon as someone said bed duvet I can’t unsee it.

H: love the necklace

C: is that all the praise you’ll give?

H: well she has pockets, that’s always a plus.

C: It's great. The color, the draping, her energy. I miss her on Greys.

H: Killing Eve is better.

H: I think it's glorious. I wish I could wear that color. Imagine how hard it was to drape that.

C: I miss her on Greys.

H: Killing Eve is better.

H: The colors are glorious. Whoever she is.

C: Survey says Top Gun actress.

H: The movie may not have brought anything new but her dress did.

C: I want to see an oil painting of her in this dress for some reason maybe it's my art history class seeping in.