MVP 2.0 - Lessons in SEL - Communication

-Restorative Communication-

HOW TO USE THIS LESSON: The webpage below is intended to be projected for students to follow along. It includes basic instructions, definitions, etc. to guide students. Depending on your technology, you can have a student in charge of scrolling through the site, on your cues. Just have them try not to scroll past the thin purple dividers or thick colored banners until you are ready to start that next section!

You will also need to download and/or print this facilitator's guide. This document contains extra instructions, facilitator's notes, and other behind-the-scenes content necessary for the lesson.

Grade 11 - Restorative Communication (25-30 minutes)

Objective: You will begin to explore the skills of listening, making connections, and finding common themes among different personal stories.

Introduction

Listening is the most fundamental component of interpersonal communication skills. Listening is not the same as hearing - hearing is an active process, or something that just happens. Listening, on the other hand, is an active process in which the decision is made to listen to and understand another human being when they speak to us.

If we are truly listening with the goal of understanding, we should try to remain neutral and non-judgmental, so we're hearing the message as the giver intends, and not how we interpret it. This means trying not to take sides or form strong opinions, especially early in the conversation. This can be really challenging to do sometimes, which is why active listening also involves patience.

Use what you know so far about active listening to soak in the following quote about listening.

"To listen in a healing way is to listen carefully, paying real attention to all that's being said and not said.

You listen respectfully, holding both the other person and whatever they have to say with clear regard.

You listen caringly, allowing a warmth to develop between you if it feels natural, always desiring what is best for the other.

You listen compassionately, accepting the one you're with just as they are, without comparing them to others or yourself.

And you listen believingly, trusting in the healing potential of those who verbally and nonverbally share their lives with you."

-- James Miller, The Art of Listening in a Healing Way

Shout out pieces of the message that you recall.

Main Activities

We will review the following thoughts from the previous Communication Lesson:

The Restorative Practice of Circle uses a talking piece to regulate the dialog of the participants. The talking piece is passed from person to person around the rim of the Circle. It travels in one direction around the Circle until it returns to the Keeper. The talking piece does not skip anyone sitting in the Circle. Only the person holding the talking piece may speak. It allows the holder to speak without interruption and allows the listeners to focus on listening and not be distracted by thinking about a response to the speaker.

The use of the talking piece allows for full expression of emotions, thoughtful reflection, and an unhurried pace. Participants are free to speak or pass when the talking piece comes to them. The talking piece is a powerful equalizer. It allows every participant an equal opportunity to speak and carries an implicit assumption that every participant has something important to offer the group. As it passes physically from hand to hand, the talking piece weaves a connecting thread among the members of the Circle.

You will have the opportunity to apply what you've learned about active listening in your group.

Spend a brief moment reflecting on the following prompt, which will then be shared in your circles:

What is one shining moment in your life when you were at your best? In other words, what is a moment you are most proud of?

Instructions for the next activity:

A student is invited to take a turn telling their story.
The job of everyone else present is to listen actively. Think about what we've learned: listening with openness and intentionality, paying attention to what is said and what is left unsaid, and not passing judgement.
After the student is done sharing their story, they should say "I pass to... (the name of the person on their left)"
This person will then share their story, until everyone has had an opportunity to share or pass.
If someone does not feel comfortable sharing, they can simply pass to the next person.

Sharing can be anxiety producing. Remember that the goal of this activity is about listening intentionally and without judgment. This means this can be safe space to share, and the group will listen with acceptance no matter how the words come out. You are encouraged to bring your minds back to active listening if you find your thoughts wandering to worry about your own upcoming turn.

Closing

Discuss the following questions:

What is one positive thought or reaction you had to a story or this experience?

What was it like to share? To listen?

What part of active listening was the hardest?

Did any themes stand out?

Did you notice anything when you paid attention to what *wasn't* said?

Looking for a little more content?

Extention Activity

You are invited to write down the names of each peer in their circle.

try to recall from memory what each person's story was about, and write it down. This is the part of active listening that focuses on what *was* said.

Next to each story, write something that you learned about that person because of that story, or a value you'd guess that person has after hearing the story. This is the part of active listening that focuses on the underlying meaning of the person's story, even if it wasn't explicitly verbalized.

You can "fact-check" your memory and guesses with your peers.

Go over the following three principles of being a great listener:

Focus your attention on the speaker. Let the person know that you are listening. How can you do this? (You can do this nonverbally by nodding and making eye contact. You can also show that you are focusing by not doing something else while the person is talking and by not interrupting.)
Confirm what you are hearing. You can do this by repeating parts of what the person says or by summarizing what’s been said. You can also repeat or summarize silently to yourself.
Respond to the speaker in some way to show that you have heard and understood what has been said. You might ask questions, make comments, or continue the conversation.

Being a good listener is an important key to communication.

Like this lesson? Here's another on this topic:

<-- Restorative Communication for Level One

Restorative Communication for Level Three -->

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