HESHAM

12/6/24 at 1:04pm

Junior studying Biopsychology, Cognition, and Neuroscience; Pre-Med Track

What excites you every day when you wake up?

Opportunity. If I ever feel down, I have to remember that it's a blessed struggle. I need to remember I'm chasing my dreams, and I’m lucky to be able to do that. I am from an underprivileged community, I've seen so many people that don't have the opportunities to actually do what we do, to go to college, to dream. We really are enjoying first hand privileges that are available to us at U-M students, and I think that gets me out of bed every morning. Even when I feel down, I'll walk through campus and remember, I'm blessed.

I love that. I think an abundance mindset is imperative to a healthy life.

Me too, man. We are literally getting to do exactly what we want. There's nobody telling us specifically what to do. I'm genuinely doing whatever seems right, you know? And that’s a blessing.

It definitely is. Tell me about the process of discovering what you want to do. Has that been easy for you, or are you still figuring it out?

I want to go to med school, right? I think it's a very loaded question; I've been asked, why medicine? There's a lot that goes into it. There are the materialistic aspects of it. It’s impossible to deny the prestige of the job, the climb in tax bracket, of course. But, there's also the community aspect of medicine. I don't want to be a famous doctor or personality. I want to go back and work in the community that raised me and help people, especially those that don't have access to healthcare. 

I'm actually about to be a part of a medical mission to Jordan. They have many Syrian refugees with a sincere inaccessibility to healthcare there. And I'm going to have the opportunity to learn from doctors who are committing their life and time to helping those less fortunate. These doctors live a life of luxury in the US, and still decide to go on medical missions to Jordan. Those are exactly the kind of people I want to learn from and model my life after. It’s so inspiring to me.

That is so incredible. Opportunity, inspiration, and service to others all sound so important to you. What other values are deeply important in your life?

I think faith and family. I'm a Muslim, so that means 6:00am wake ups. You know, my family has pretty much been there for me through it all. I was just on the phone with my dad, and then with my mom, and then with my brother. All earlier today. I have a really great support system and I feel like those are the true values that help me to get through everything. I have the faith that I can get through it, because, you know, I believe God has my back. He won't let me down and He hasn't thus far, so why would I doubt Him? And then on top of that, I have a family that He's helping through each day, too. I believe He blesses us through the people around us.

So, your faith and your loved ones mean a lot to you, as well. How do you stay feeling connected to others in your life?

Yeah. That’s honestly a really tough question. I’m MCAT-ing right now, which has been a very separable time for me. I’ve had to isolate myself from others to focus on studying. Rather than staying at my parents’ house for Thanksgiving break, I just came back to campus and studied after our holiday dinner. I made that plan and even tried to change my mind, but my mom reminded me how important it is to dedicate myself to the MCAT. It’s been tough.  But, in encouraging me to keep studying, she reminded me how much my parents love me, and how proud they are. Having people in my corner who help me stay on track is pretty crucial.

But, just keeping in touch with them, it’s a struggle. I have to remember that the phone works two ways. As much support as I feel I need, I have to be willing to offer to them in return. I try to call and text as much as I can. I know I can always go home when I want to, and to be honest, the past couple years of college, I’ve utilized that a lot. So many people get to college and just want to leave everything behind, but I don’t see it that way. I’m privileged to have amazing people around me, and always have.

I think family is much more important to me than it is to other students here. The culture of college helped me realize that. I need my family, they quite literally made me. And they continue to. They uplift me, support me, and guide me. I’m not sure what else I could ask for. 

I love to hear how much your family means to you. It can be hard to feel connected with them while you are at college, so it is so important that you are intentional about it. 

I think you have to be. I think it's so easy to get distant from people. It's the easiest thing in the world to just say, “you know what? I'm going through a lot. I had a bad week, a break up, finals…”, and shut them out. But, I remind myself that it’s our parents' first time living too. We need them like they need us. Disagreements are bound to happen, and I think its important to learn how to move on from them. That’s the only way you’ll stay connected with them throughout time. Forgiveness and love.

I love being independent. I love the fact that I make my own bed, I make my own food, I do my own laundry. I think that's a part of being an adult. But I don’t agree with any type of culture that pushes for not keeping in touch with your roots. Our parents have seen so much they have never told us about.  I feel like there's so much to learn from them. I don’t think anyone should go through life alone, and family is a huge part of that.

I think you need a TED Talk, man. I think people could use this advice.

You might have to send me the recording.

I will, for sure. You brought me to my next question, actually. I want to know what your relationship is with feeling like an adult.

That’s actually very interesting. I was just having a conversation with a friend a couple of days ago. I think there's a maturity aspect for sure. I actually have this discussion with a lot of people, because it comes up in cultural conversations. The question is, what makes somebody mature? I don't know.

But I feel like adulting for me is, one – trying to figure out exactly what steps you need to take to build a career, and making it happen. Like, lifelong goals. I have a five year plan, a ten year plan, and that kind of sets things in motion. But two – it’s also just the little things, like, I don't think not living at home makes you an adult. It's more about making your own food, having a job, and stuff like that. My dad is a hard-working, working class citizen. He’s the biggest hustler I know. And he instilled a work ethic that is intertwined with adulthood in my head. I haven’t been able to work since I started studying for the MCAT, but it’s been about channeling my work ethic all where it matters right now. I still think I have a lot to learn. But I've proven that I know how to take care of myself. I am learning how to assimilate myself into society as an adult. 

In college, you figure out your own housing, your own transportation, your own career, job, schooling… there is so much that goes into it. And, to sum it all up, it feels like our parents aren't in the same boat. Like, aren't we doing the same things our parents do? Maybe we're not providing for a spouse or kids yet, but I don't think that extra part makes you an adult. It might make you a father, might make you a husband. But, we are adults just like our parents. We are already doing it. 

Yeah, wow. Do you feel like getting to this point was scary for you? Was it a learning experience? Is it something you're still working on?

Definitely. For sure. It’s a work in progress. When I came here, I was in Summer Bridge. And it was such a shock. Coming here in the summer, having such a rigorous workload, I really isolated myself. I really did let myself have my social connections weaken, I didn’t keep in touch with my family, my friends. I literally and figuratively moved away from everyone. It doesn’t have to be that way. It shouldn’t.

So many people take such accelerated courses, they skip sleep, wake up, go to class, and just study all day and night, every day and night. That imbalance is not healthy, and I have learned that the hard way. That will always lead to you burning yourself out. I try to find balance in whatever I am doing, and I always try to cut myself some slack. It takes planning and intention, but it’s worth it. You can go to the gym, be a full-time college student, eat well, and hang out with your friends two or three times a week. Striking that balance is a challenge, but it’s so critical to your happiness. Living and being a college student are not mutually exclusive. It takes practice, growth. Every single year I feel like a different person. And that is what this time is all about. 

Accepting and recognizing the growth through our years here is so empowering. It's not an each process at all. Do you feel like there is a question you’re still waiting on the answer to?

That’s a good question. Let me think about that.

I know you’re a complete stranger, but it feels like I can just say anything, you know? Thanks for that, man.

One question I have for myself is, can I really do it? There's always a shadow of doubt that I let get into my head. Whether it comes from someone who doesn't have the best intentions for me or from myself even at times. I’ve been working hard at being a believer, you know. Everything always works out, because when hasn’t it? 

Right now, everything seems surreal. I’m in a really big place, every step I make is life-altering. Classes, research, internships, or positions… I’m playing with my life here. Am I making all the right decisions? Is just gonna work out?

I don’t have any doctors before me in my family. But, I study at Taubman just the same as everyone else there. There is nothing holding me back if I don’t let it. I just have to prove it to myself. There’s still a little bit of doubt in the back of my mind, asking is the destination achievable? 

When I picked a career, I kind of chose the most impossible thing. Why would I settle for anything less? I know I want to do it, I can, and I want to prove it to myself. Day after day, little by little, it can be done. I’m at a hump right now, but I’ll get over it. 

You’ve got this, dude. I know you do. 

I do, too. Thank you for this, man. Really.